05x03 - Hollywood: Part 3

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Happy Days". Aired: January 15, 1974 – July 19, 1984.*
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Set during the 1950's, the series revolves around teenager Richie and his family who owns a hardware store and Fonzie, who would eventually become Richie's best friend.
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05x03 - Hollywood: Part 3

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes,
my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Share them with me I
- S Oh, baby a'


♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling
all week long ♪

(organ solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Happy and free I
- S Oh, baby a'


♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days!

Hi, Chachi. This is Al.

Yeah, I just got a card
from the g*ng in Hollywood.

Not from your cousin Fonzie.
This is from Richie.

Listen, it says, "Dear Al,

"Life is funny. Ha, ha, ha.

"We came over here
for Fonzie's screen test,

“but Fonzie didn't get it.

"They liked my apple pie face
instead.


“I'm having trouble deciding

"if I should sign
the movie contract.


"But Fonzie took it well.
He's happy because he tied

"the California Kid,
the local water skiing champ,


“in a slalom race.

“You should've seen Fonz.

"He was something else.

"So far we didn't see any
movie stars, but we met a guy


“who thinks he's Jack Benny

"and we saw a real live shark
that they have pent up


"here to take to Marineland.

“Potsie, Ralph, Joanie,

"Mom and Dad are all having
a fun time.


“My social life is fine.

"I met a wonderful girl
named Nancy.


“I'm gonna meet her now.

See you soon. Richie.“

Oh. This is great.

It's like From Here to Eternity.

We're Burt Lancaster
and Deborah Kerr.

Well, which one am I?

Pretty and
a sense of humor, too.

Oh, let's go!

You know, life is funny.

H ow?

Well...
only a few short days ago,

I was a high school graduate
from Milwaukee,

just a very normal guy.

Now I'm in Hollywood.

I'm gonna be a movie star.

I met a terrific girl.

Oh, yes,
and I met a terrific guy.

Maybe we'll run into each other
again someday.

I really hope so.

Wait a minute.
What-what is this, uh,

"again someday" stuff?

Richie, I meant to tell you
earlier, but I didn't know how.

But now I've got to.

Y-You're engaged.

You're married.

Oh, it-it's freckles.

- That's it. You hate freckles.
- No, no. It's not that.

- I hate my freckles. -I like
your freckles. And I like you.

But this is my field term.

My oceanography class goes on a
cruise for practical experience.

Oh.

Well, good.

So I'll see you
when you get back.

- Where you N
- Pago Page.

Great. Great.

Gee, I knew you'd understand.

Oh, me? I'm, uh...
Mr. Understanding.

And I'm just glad
it wasn't my freckles.

No, it wasn't your freckles.

Wait! Well...

do you have to leave already?
I mean,

d-don't you have to wait
for the tide to go out

-or some oceanography thing?
- Richie, no, we...

we cast off early tomorrow
morning.

I've got to go pack.

Listen...

good luck with everything.

I'll write.

Good-bye.

Bye.

Thanks.

Life is funny.

Not as funny
as it was a minute ago.

POTSIE:
Hey, Rich!

- Rich! Rich!
- Come quick!

- What? ls there something wrong?
- It's a shark!

- The Fonz...
- Fonz got eaten by a shark?!

- He did? Who said that?
- Not me.

What are you
talking about, Rich?

- Well, you just said a shark.
- No, listen.

Fonz is gonna jump over a shark.

Snap out of it, Rich.

Fonz is gonna jump over a shark.

I don't get it.

Okay, Rich, read my lips:

Fonzie wants you.

The California Kid
challenged him,

and they're gonna jump
over a shark net.

You get to drive Fonzie.

Shark?! Is he crazy?!

A shark? That is the stupidest
thing I've ever heard.

Stupid, yes. Also dumb.

But it's something I gotta do.

Fonz, y-you're not jumping
over garbage cans on a bike.

You're jumping over a shark.

On nothing. On a couple
of little skis.

One little slip
and chomp, chomp, chomp.

Thanks a lot for your support.

Look, I was challenged.

I gotta jump-.

Challenged?!
The guy's bluffing.

He's not gonna jump
over some shark.

That's right.
He was bluffing. Huh?

All right,
let me tell you something,

that's another reason
I got to jump.

'Cause that punk is trying
to take a free ride.

Look, you already tied him

and-and his championship
patches.

So why can't you just drop it?

I have to meet his bluff.

I ain't going back to Milwaukee
a double failure.

Now, are you coming?

Let's go.

Girls.

So, Prince Valiant,
are you ready?

(chuckles)
Are you actually gonna do it?

- Yeah. Are you?
- Yeah.

Well, look, since you had
a condition on this tiebreaker,

I got one, too.

Go ahead.

You go first.

That way,
when you jump and fall,

that little shark ain't gonna be
so hungry when I go.

(girls laugh)

Well, I...

(clucking like a chicken)

-(laughter)
- Yeah, all right!

Wait a minute, kid,
you know, he's...

Shut up!

Fire up the boat.

I'm jumping the shark.

Gosh, I'm always
f*ring up a boat.

(indistinct chatter, cooing)

Oh, I can't watch.

What if he doesn't make it?

Relax. How much can one shark
eat anyway, huh?

I'm kidding. I'm nervous, too.

Oh, Mom, Dad, over here!

Where have you guys been?

There, now, you see?

You and your
"just one more ashtray, Howard."

Now we missed the race.

But we may never get
to Hollywood again.

We won't have to. We're gonna
have half of it in Milwaukee.

Oh, sit on it, Howard.

Forget the souvenirs.
You've got to stop Fonzie.

I thought the race was over.

No, it was a tie.

Well, what's all the excitement?

The Fonz and the California Kid
are gonna break the tie.

They're gonna jump over a shark!

- Isn't that dangerous?
- Well, of course it's dangerous.

Well, you should stop them.

- We've got to do something.
- Yeah!

Well, what would you like me
to do, talk to the shark?

Oh, Howard, would you?

No, Marion, I wouldn't.

This is ridiculous.

(indistinct chatter)

The California Kid quit!

-(all shouting)
- ALL: Chicken!

Good! Now Fonzie doesn't have
to do the jump.

- Boy, that was close.
- You did it, Fonz.

- Winner and still champion.
- Yeah.

All right, it's my turn.

Come on, row me
out to the ski boat.

Get in the boat?!

Fonz, you don't have
to jump now.

The California Kid quit.

The Fonz don't quit.

Are you gonna drive
for me or not?

No.

Malph, get in the boat
and drive.

All right, Fonz.

You won't be sorry.

This time I'll remember
to untie it.

All right! Okay!

I'm gonna drive.

What is this,
more of the Fonzarelli Code?

You don't understand,
Cunningham.

It's still a tie.
I haven't won anything yet.

- You won! B-By forfeit.
- You don't win stuff by forfeit.

Well, that's not what they
told me in Little League, Fonz.

You got to understand
something-- this is life here.

This ain't games.

Now, are you driving for me
or not?

All right.

But you get your legs bit off
by that shark,

don't you come running to me.

Ha, ha, ha.

II

- What...?
- He's still gonna do it!

RICHIE: Here we go, Fonz!
I'm heading for the ramp!

Are you sure you want to do it?

- Look at that shark, Pots.
- Yeah.

How could you accept
the challenge?

It wasn't me, it was you!

("Vinéfli
I know. I know.

It's okay, Malph. It's okay.

JOANIE:
He's really gonna do it!

POTSIE:
He's ready to make the jump!

RALPH:
There he goes!

(onlookers cheering)

(cheering)

(cheering, whooping)

(crowd cheering, applauding)

(crowd whooping)

RALPH:
All right, all right!

POTSIE:
Hey, we're his best friends.

Yeah, we waxed his skis.

Fonzie didn't get eaten up.

(everyone laughs)

POTSIE:
Come on, it's great!

So I made a mistake.

FONZIE:
Red...

we did it.

Yeah, yeah,
you did the challenge.

Yeah. (laughs)

But... but what
did you really win?

Aw, come on, Red,
how often does a guy like me

get to bump off a guy like that?

I mean, he's got
the best boat money can buy,

he's got custom skis,
he's got a Porsche.

Yeah, he does, he does.

He gets everything handed
to him on a silver platter.

Yeah, but the thing is...

you and me, Red,
we're different.

See, we're doers.

We're doers.

Yeah.

Yeah, we are.

But does that mean we have
to accept every challenge?

No, I'm a very flexible person.

You know, when I was
sh**ting over that ramp,

flying over that shark,

something my grandfather said
came right back to me.

Yeah, you should remember it,

climbing up that ladder
to stardom.

What?

He said life is filled
with challenges.

You take 'em all.

Except those that are gonna
break your neck.

(chuckles)

Course, he said it in Italian.

(laughs)

So you knew all the time that
you were gonna make it, huh?

Yeah, I did.

Well...

deep down, I... I knew
you were gonna make it, too.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I wasn't sure the shark knew.

The shark?!

(both chuckle)

RICHIE: You know,
signing a movie contract

is almost as scary
as jumping over a shark.

Oh, man.

$ a week, that's...

that's really a lot of money.

JOANIE:
Oh, wow.

new Big Bopper albums
every seven days.

And that's just for openers.

Yeah, but it's
a five-year contract.

That's five years
out of my life.

Howard, if Richard
signs the contract,

would we all move to Hollywood?

Well, I think he's
perfectly capable

of living out here
alone, sweetheart.

Well, to play it safe,
better send me with him.

Nice try.

It's a five-year contract...

and there's no guarantee
of-of success,

let alone being a star.

I know.

You throw your dice
and you take your chance.

Go, stay. What's the big deal?

Mom and Dad'll always have me.

Go to your room.

My room is your room, Dad.

Well, then go to the beach.

Sent to the beach.

I love California!

But you stay away from
that Sandy character

and all those muscle men.

Oh, Dad.

Well...

Yes, Mom?

I love you and I think
that you will be a star

at whatever you do.

I picked one winner
and I can pick another.

Mm-hmm. Thank you, sweetheart.

Just for that, you can
go to the gift shop

and buy that slice of driftwood
that you wanted.

- Thank you, Howard.
- Mm-hmm.

I'll go get your wallet.

Your mother wants me to make
a lamp out of that driftwood.

I don't know how to make a lamp.

I could never get the wire
in the socket

that goes into the lamp.

I also can't get the wire
into the plug

that goes at the other end...

You don't want to
hear this, do you?

Well, it's just, uh...

Yeah, you're a little worried
about this, aren't you?

I sure am.

Well, I'm sorry, Richard,
I guess I just got carried away.

You know, a movie contract
and everything.

You see, your mother and I

always planned for you
to go to college.

In fact,
you're already registered.

So you think I should forget
about this and just, uh...

just go to school?

Well, now, I didn't say that.

After all, a Hollywood contract
is very exciting.

Yeah.

But, uh, sometimes I wish
I was Ozzie Nelson.

Then it would be easy,
because Ozzie would say,

"You're going to college
and that's it."

Straight out.

But the best I can do for you

is to just talk it outwith you.

I don't think you really want me
to tell you what to do, do you?

No.



I guess it's my life,
and it's got to be my decision.

Mm. Well, Richard...

I know that whatever decision
you make, I'll be proud of you.

You're my son and you've

never given me cause
to be anything but proud.

II

That's your decision, huh?

Yeah.

bucks a week,

that's a lot of tune-ups.

Well, Fonz,

being a movie star,

that's not my dream.

What I really want
is to be a journalist.

People are gonna think
I'm bananas.

Let me tell you something, Red,

the important thing is you do
what you want to do,

not what you think other people
think you should do.

- Yeah, I know, I know.
- Hey, I'm not finished yet.

Now, you got to enjoy what it is
that you're doing,

because you're gonna spend
a lot of time doing it.

You dig? Look at me.

(Richie chuckles)

Yeah, but who wouldn't want
to have all your women, Fonz?

Hey, that's true,

but I'm talking
about auto repair.

A lot of people don't want
to get their fingernails dirty,

you dig, but I love
being a mechanic,

and I'm very good at it,
and that's what's cool.

I see what you mean.

See, I-l don't know
if I could ever act,

but I know
that I can write good.

No, no, no, that's "well."

- Whether you could write well.
- Oh, yeah...

Don't let it ever be said
that the Fonz

don't talk good. Heyyy.

Let's go home, Red.
Let's go home.

Lead the way.

I'll tell you, Fonz,

this trip sure was
a great last fling

before starting college.

FONZIE: Yeah, next week,
you, Potsie and Ralph

become collegiate types.
I like that.

I like hanging out
with college men.

RICHIE: You mean it's good
for your image

to be with intelligent,
educated guys like us?

FONZIE: No, I mean it's a great
new way to meet college chicks.

(Fonzie laughing)

(rock 'n' roll playing)

♪ Why don't you kiss me
and you'll find out, yeah... ♪

(sighs) Another day,
another dollar.

You keep your money
in a coffee can, Al?

Yeah, it's safe enough till
I get it home in my mattress.

Oh, don't you use banks?

(chuckles)
Only for change.

Oh, here, I'll save you a trip.

Wow.

You had a good day.

Oh, yeah,
between my regular clientele

and the people cousin Fonzie
sends me,

I do all right.

Oh, that's two bucks.

(chuckles)

Boy, I wonder where
everybody is.

Their plane landed an hour ago.

Yeah, they said
they were gonna come by,

but you know,
maybe it got too late

and they just went on home.

Oh, good night, Rosa.

Yeah... good night, Rosa.

Wah, wah, wah.

Chachi, Chachi,
she's too old for you.

Al, do you know
what she does for me?

Rosa?

From my parish?

What?

She puts chocolate, hot fudge,

and butterscotch

on my sundaes.

(chuckles)

That's nice.

Well, how was Hollywood?

Did you have fun?

Was it exciting?

Oh, you should've been there.

Fonzie almost k*lled himself.

Yeah, I'll tell you,
those-those Hollywood chicks

are something, you know?

Fonz, I think she's talking
about the shark, you know...

Oh, yeah.

Sharks? Girls?

I'll tell you later.

Chachi, oh, we have
a nice little souvenir for you.

- Joanie?
- Oh.

Joanie, just what
I always wanted.

Uh, not me, squirt-- this.

Hey, that's great.

Thanks, everybody.

Especially you, blue eyes.

Put your lips in neutral.

Now, you been taking care
of business since I was gone?

Oh, yeah, I did real good, Fonz.

Eight new phone numbers.

All right, Jane and Joan,
the twins-- hey.

Millie, Beatrice...

Beatrice.

L-I promised to take her
to Hollywood.

I forgot.

Well, I'll let her ride my bike.

I better go call her;
I'll see you later.

- Bye.
- Bye, Fonz.

Now, Chachi,
I hope that sweatshirt

is the right size.

Oh, it'll look great
once I cut off the sleeves.

Well, thanks everybody.

- See you.
- Bye.

AL:
Wah, wah, wah.

(chuckles)

Hey, you know...
(chuckles)

a Hollywood sweatshirt,

all the way from California,
that's nice.

- Yeah.
- For Chachi.

It's good when you have friends
who-who bring presents.

Especially when you don't
go anywhere yourself.

It's-it's so nice
when they do that.

Dad, maybe you should give it
to him before the man cries.

All right.

Here you are.

This is from all of us, Al.

Oh.

"Hollywood."

RICHIE: Yeah.

You can hear the ocean in there.

(everyone laughing)

Hey, hey, Al,

here's the thing you wanted
Ralph and me to get.

Oh, uh, thanks, Potsie.

- Listen, was Hollywood really...
- Hey,

Al, come on, put it on.

- Later, eh?
- Aw.

Did you see any movie stars
when you were...

Come on, Al,
what do you mean, "Later"?

We carried it all the way
from California.

- Yeah, come on, Al.
- Yeah, Al.

- Come on, Al, please?
- Put it on.

- Put it on.
- Come on, Al-- here.

- Let me see it.
- What did you get?

- You'll see, you'll see.
- What is it?

- Wait a minute.
- It's great, it's great.

- You know what it is?
- All right...

all right, all right, all right.

Hi, boys and girls.

What do you think?

Oh, it's you, Al,
definitely you.

I gotta go. Come on.

- Come on, Pots.
- Okay.

Wait a minute!

How am I gonna tell my mom
about busting her ironing board?

How am I gonna tell my father
I'm back?

- So long, friend.
- Well, it was nice.

- Hey, thanks everybody.
- See you later, Al.

- Thank you; it's so nice.
- Glad you liked it.

I'm-I'm-I'm
so happy with all this.

- Yeah.
- This is so much fun.

Friends... (sniffling)

Is it true, though,
what they say about Hollywood?

Oh, yeah, it's amazing.

Boy, you wouldn't believe...

They put lettuce and tomatoes
on hamburgers, huh?

Yeah, yeah, that glamorous.

- Boy...!
- And sometimes...

Yeah?

...EVEI mayonnaise.

Oh! Fonzie, we're leaving!

Turn off the lights
and lock the place, will you?

Mayonnaise?

(singing quietly)

(sighs)

Heyyy.

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and rollin'
all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Share them with me I
- S Oh, baby a'


♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
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