02x01 - Tommy Thunder: Method Actor

[bunniefuu]

Grr!

I can't believe we're about
to meet Tommy Thunder!

He's my favourite movie star!

He's got it all, strength,
muscles, ability to lift stuff.

Not to mention eyes
you could get lost in for days.

Hey, remember when he was
being chased by ninja pirates

while skiing
on Haunted Mountain?

- What movie was that again?
- Ninja Ski Pirates

- on Haunted Mountain?
- I doubt that was it.

His movies are great,

but his heroics
sometimes seem unrealistic.

Oh, come on! It doesn't get
any more realistic

than the underwater bear fight
in Mutant Commando III!

Ladies and gentlemen,
here to promote his new movie

with some cheaply made
Meh Meal toys,

which are guaranteed to have
% fewer jagged edges.

- Ow!
- (Squeaks)

Anyway, here he is, the star
of Tommy Thunder Presents,

Tommy Thunder
in Rise of the Thunder King,

Tommy... Uh... Thunder!

(Cheering)

Tommy is happy to be here.

Ugh! This place is a dump.

- Tommy, you're our hero!
- That's great.

Maybe you can be heroes
someday too.

Hi. We're all big fans
of your work.

That's great. Maybe you can be
heroes someday too.

You hear that, Sonic? Tommy says
I could be a hero someday!

- You are a hero, Tails.
- Thanks!

Though it means less
coming from you.

Excuse me, coming through.
Stand aside.

We're here with Tommy Thunder,
movie star, humanitarian,

patron saint of kick-butt-ery!

- Mmm... Buttery.
- Yes, sir,

- Tommy Thunder's a hero!
- He's not a hero.

He's an actor!
He doesn't actually save lives.

You saved my life,
Tommy Thunder.

When I was ill, your movies
were the one bright spot

in my otherwise bleak existence.

- You're a true hero.
- Aw!

- Fine. He helped some old lady.
- (Whistle blows)

Not to alarm everyone, but...

Eggman's attacking!
Every man, woman and child

for him, her or itself!

But me first. Aaah!

(Screaming)

I ordered a baker's dozen.

That's supposed to be
rugelach, not .

This doesn't concern you,
hedgehog!

Knuckles,
toss me a day-old baguette!

Batter up.

Why do all my social
interactions end like this?

(Cheering)

Tommy's gotta admit,
Tommy's impressed.

Maybe even you
can be a hero someday.

Touché. But you're right.
Tommy Thunder's not a hero.

Just a devilishly
good-looking actor,

number-one box-office draw,

and rich
beyond your wildest dreams.

But not a hero like you guys.

- I'm glad to hear...
- Speaking of segues,

could Tommy follow you around
for a few days?

As a method actor,
it'll really help him

get into his next action role.

- Really?
- Awesome!

- Sweet!
- People always follow me.

Ah, I don't know.
You're kind of...

- An egomaniac?
- Right.

And there's no room for ego
on Team Sonic!

- Ahem!
- And friends.

I was gonna include you guys,
albeit not individually.

Anyway, I just don't think
it would be a good fit, OK?

Knock, knock! I have to say that
because you don't have a door.

- It's kinda pathetic, actually.
- What do you want, Tommy?

You're right.
Being a hero isn't about ego.

It's about elaborate gifts!

It's your visage in melon form!

So, now can I follow you
on your adventures?

Slam! I have to say that because
I don't actually have a door.

I didn't know Meh Burger
had a VIP section.

It doesn't.

Right this way, Mr Thunder.

Wow, he didn't sigh
and roll his eyes at us.

When you ride
with Tommy Thunder,

you get the star treatment.

Wow! These plates are so clean
you could almost eat off them!

Thanks for bringing us here,
Tommy.

- It was really nice of you.
- Yes, it was.

So, anyway, about your buddy,
Sonic...

I was just thinking,
completely on my own,

that you should give
him another chance.

Let him follow you
for a few days.

But he's such a phoney!

Only a slack-jawed rube
would be charmed by that guy!

(Giggles) Right.

But weren't you just saying
how unrealistic his movies are?

This is your chance to fix that!

He can finally make a film
expressing

what it's really like
to be a hero!

All right, I'll give him a sh*t.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I have to dispose of a rotten,

half-eaten fruit sculpture
of my head.

You will not regret this!

Tommy's so excited
to learn about the hero process!

Yeah, just try
to stay out of my way, OK?

You won't even know I'm here.
So, what's your workout routine?

What time do you go to bed?
What time do you wake up?

Have you ever tried gazpacho?
What is gazpacho?

Ugh! It's frustrating
to be followed around

- by someone so annoying!
- Well, sorry.

Not you. Him!

Some people don't get that us
hero types need time to brood.

- Grr!
- Grr!

- Ugh!
- Ugh!

- Grr!
- Grr!

- (Alarm goes off)
- There's a robbery!

Can you believe the price
we got on these? What a steal!

Oh, crud! Weasel Bandits.
And they're extra punny today.

g*ng, let's get to work.

Tommy, stay out of the way.

Tails, gimme a boost.

- And that's how we...
- Cut!

That was great! Hey, you mind
if I step in for take two?

I have some ideas that I think
will really improve the scene.

You can't do a re-take
in a battle!

It's OK. We can do a re-take.
Anything for Tommy Thunder!

OK, so, you guys just stand
in this clump here,

like you've just been defeated

and Tommy'll just wrap you up
with this rope.

And there you have it, folks!

Movie star Tommy Thunder

single-handedly captured
this pack of vicious bandits!

- (Clapping)
- I didn't do it all myself.

I had a lot of help. My manager,
my agent, my stylist,

that little goober
with the two tails.

- I think he's talking about me!
- And, of course, Sonic!

He's the one who taught me
how to be the realistic hero

- that I am today.
- Think you're so cool.

Knock, knock!
Still no door, huh?

- What do you want, Tommy?
- Just wanted to thank you

for teaching Tommy how to think
and behave like a real hero.

Now Tommy's got
the whole thing down cold!

Wait a sec. Tommy doesn't -

I mean, you don't think you
actually captured those bandits?

Tommy sees what's going on here!
You're jealous!

Tommy'd be jealous of Tommy,
too.

What? I'm not jealous!

He doesn't have time to argue.

He's late for his appearance
on a show. Tommy Thunder out!

Grr!

So, Tommy, tell me about
your harrowing battle

with those ne'er-do-well
reprobates.

- The criminals.
- Oh! Huh, yeah.

Tommy looked at those thugs.
There must have been of 'em,

all with heat vision
and wielding machetes.

But Tommy said to 'em,
"Not today."

You don't monkey around!

Not when they have
the nuclear launch codes!

♪ Makin' some muffins
on a Tuesday night ♪

Wow. Sounds like
you're ready for anything,

even that evil Dr Eggman.

I can take on a thousand Eggmen.
You hear that, Doc?

Tommy Thunder's calling you out!

What the snap?
I suppose I have to retaliate!

Well, there goes my evening.
Now I gotta put on pants.

Hey, be honest with me.
How'd Tommy look on camera?

Yeah, those shoe lifts
really help.

Well, well,
if it isn't Tommy Blunder,

international superstar
and hurter of feelings!

Uh, Malcolm,
got to call you back.

Hey, Big E!

Don't take any of that stuff
Tommy said too seriously.

It's all part of the show.
(Nervous laugh)

You make an interesting point,
but on the other hand...

Obliterator Bot, obliterate!

Ah! Mommy! I'm not really
a hero, I'm just an actor.

An A-list actor, but still.

My name's not really
Tommy Thunder either.

It's Irwin Fertelmeister!

Well, Irwin, in that case...

Hey! What did Obliterator Bot
ever do to you,

other than
try to obliterate you?

- Grr! Argh!
- (Beeping)

You're lucky
my muffins are ready.

We've just arrived on the scene
of what appears to have been

an epic battle between
Tommy Thunder and Eggman.

Let's ask this bystander
about Tommy's heroics

in this latest brouhaha.

(Cheering)

Uh... Tommy was great!

- A true hero!
- Yep, that's right!

Tommy did it all! And now that
his hero research is finished,

Tommy's ready to deliver
a complicated,

nuanced performance in his most
realistic film to date,

att*ck of the Giant
Ant People... in Space!

Sonic, you showed
a great deal of maturity

in sharing credit with Tommy.

Get ready for your reward.

You're gonna love
the Oysters Rockefeller.

- We're here for the VIP room.
- There is no VIP room.

And there never was.

I knew it!