01x09 - Miss Adorable

[bunniefuu]

[theme music]

♪ Maybe the world is blind

♪ Or just a little unkind

♪ Don't know

♪ Seems you can't be sure

♪ Of anything anymore

♪ Although

♪ You may be lonely and then

♪ One day you're smilin' again

♪ Every time I turn around

♪ I see the girl
who turns my world around ♪

♪ Standing there

♪ Every time I turn around

♪ Her spirit's lifting me
right off the ground ♪

♪ What's gonna be

♪ Guess we'll just wait
and see ♪♪

[dog barks]

[instrumental music]

[snoring]

[laughing]

I got Punky power!

Freeze!

You girls having fun?

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

Then stop it and go to bed.

Goodnight.

Well, g*ng,
I guess it's bedtime.

Do you still sleep with dolls?

Sure. What do you sleep with?

My trophy.

- Your trophy?
- Yeah.

I always take my awards, medals
or trophies to bed with me.

I don't.

Me neither.

Why not?

I don't have any.

Me neither.

Really?

I enter every contest I can.

Well, at three months old
I was voted "Best Dressed Baby."

Then I won a golden bootie
for "Most Terrific Toddler."

Then I won
"Miss Sweetest Smile."

I could go on and on.

You already have.

I don't do it for me.
It's for my parents.

Every time I win, they can brag
about me to their friends.

Then it gives them proof
that I'm somebody special.

Henry says I'm special
no matter what I do.

And you actually believe that?

My grandma says, "Sweet potato,

you're perfect
just the way you are."

I see.
She calls you a vegetable.

Well, no matter what
your parents say,

they want you to be a winner.

A, number one. You gotta make
them proud of you.

You mean, your parents
won't be proud of you

if you you're A, number four
or B, number six?

If you don't produce,
they just give up on you.

You mean, forget all about you?

Exactly.

That's why
I'm always proving myself

in bigger and better ways.

Next week, I'm gonna win
the "Miss Adorable Pageant."

Yeah? What's that?

Just the most important pageant
for pre-teens

in the whole Chicago area.

And the host
is gonna be Andy Gibb.

Andy Gibb? I love Andy Gibb.

Every time I think about him,
my heart does a break dance.

Can anybody enter
this "Miss Adorable" contest?

Regrettably, yes.

Then, I'm gonna enter.

Me too.

Miss Adorable has to be
beautiful and talented.

Now, let's be honest.

Who's the one person in this
room who fits that description?

- Me!
- Me!

[dog barks]

[snores]

You two really wanna go
through with this?

Yeah. I want to make Henry
proud of me.

And I want to meet Andy Gibb.

Okay. I'll get you two some
applications tomorrow.

- Yay!
- Yippee!

Henry: Sleep!

[instrumental music]

[thinking]
Now, I understand.

I know why my mom ditched me.

I never did anything
to make her proud of me.

Well, I'm not gonna make
the same mistake with Henry.

I'm gonna win that contest.

I'm gonna be A, number one.

Boy, I sure wish
I'd known about this before.

[instrumental music]

Okay, Henry, I'm finished
filling out this application.

All you have to do
is sign right here

where it says "Adorable parent."

I don't know about this.

You don't think
I can win, do you?

You think-- You think
I'll be a laughter stocking.

Oh, that's not it.

I never worry about you being
a laughter stocking.

Then what's the problem?

Well, for one thing,
these pageants

require a tremendous
amount of preparation.

You'll need a fancy dress,
a special hair style.

Mrs. Johnson could help me
with that.

She's a whiz at that stuff.

Please, Henry.

Can I enter the contest?

Pretty please, Henry?

Sugar on top?

Alright.

Yippee!

[instrumental music]

Oh!

Melinda looks
absolutely delicious.

Love that color on her.

Oh, well, ah, thank you.

See what I mean
about "Never wear red?"

Margaux, we've got
this pageant locked up.

Alright, mothers, girls..

...and whoever you are.

We need these little darlings
on stage.

And I mean now!

Hello, in there.
Let's get moving.

Excuse me.

Cherie, you look
absolutely wonderful!

- Thank you.
- Where's Punky?

Well, she's not real happy
about the way she looks.

I'll take care of it.

Henry, you go get Cherie
on stage.

- I'll go, but--
- Go on.

- But, but--
- Get.

Punky, you gotta
come out now.

Don't be shy, honey.

[instrumental music]

Punky, the show's starting.

I feel ridiculous.

I'm not going out there.

But Punky, that's exactly the
way you said you wanted to look.

I know, but I was wrong.

When Margaux dresses like this,

she looks like Miss Adorable.

When I dress like this,
I look like Miss Horrible.

Isn't there a way to make me
look more like myself?

Come on, child, we got
five minutes to Punky you up.

[instrumental music]

Announcer: And now,
please welcome our host

for the "Miss Adorable Pageant."

The dynamic star of stage,
television and recordings,

an exciting
and delightful gentleman,

who appeals
to misses of all ages,

Mister Andy Gibb.

[instrumental music]

[audience applauding]

Thank you for that
kind introduction.

It's a real thrill to be hosting
the "Miss Adorable" contest

here in Chicago,

one block away
from Wrigley Field,

home of "The Chicago Cubs."

At last, somebody
from this neighborhood

is gonna win something.

[laughter]

Now believe me,
the choice here tonight

is going to be a difficult one.

All of our candidates
for "Miss Adorable"

really live up to that name.

Now, when you see these little
ladies perform,

I'm sure you'll agree with me
when I sing...

♪ Thank heaven
for little girls ♪

♪ For little girls
get bigger everyday ♪

♪ Thank heaven
for little girls ♪

♪ They grow up
in the most delightful way ♪

♪ Those little eyes
so helpless and appealing ♪

♪ One day will flash
and send you crashing ♪

♪ Through the ceiling

♪ Thank heaven
for little girls ♪

♪ Thank heavens for them all

♪ No matter where
no matter who ♪

♪ Without them
what will little boys do ♪

♪ Thank heaven

♪ Thank heaven

♪ Thank heaven

♪ For little girls

♪ Those little eyes
so helpless and appealing ♪

♪ One day will flash
and send you crashing ♪

♪ Through the ceiling

♪ Thank heaven
for little girls ♪

♪ Thank heaven for them all

♪ No matter where
no matter who ♪

♪ Without them
what will little boys do ♪

♪ Without them
what will little boys do ♪♪

[audience applauding]

"Miss Adorable" is more
than just a pretty face.

She's talented, too.

So let's cheer on these girls

who have worked so long
and so hard.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the talent competition.

[audience applauding]

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

♪ When I have
a brand new hairdo ♪

♪ With my eyelashes
all in curls ♪

♪ I float as the clouds
on air do ♪

♪ I enjoy being a girl

♪ When men say I'm cute
and funny ♪

♪ And my teeth aren't teeth
but pearls ♪

♪ I just lap it up like honey

♪ I enjoy being a girl

[music continues]

♪ I'm strictly a
female female ♪

♪ And my future
I hope will be ♪

♪ In the arm of the brave

♪ And female who'll enjoy
being a guy ♪

♪ Having a girl

♪ Like

♪ Me ♪

[audience applauding]

Come on.

[instrumental music]

[audience applauding]

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[dramatic music]

[audience applauding]

[instrumental music]

Folks, this is my pal.

The incredible, the amazing,

Brandon, the Wonder Dog!

[audience applauding]

For Brandon's first
death-defying trick,

Brandon, the Wonder Dog

will catch this ball in mid-air.

Brandon, catch.

[audience laughing]

Okay, you lily-livered varmint,

if you want you get out
of tombstone alive,

you better sit up and beg.

Brandon, sit up and beg, please.

[sighs]

Okay, I warned you.

You're gonna be one dead dog.

Brandon, play dead!

Shucks, I must've missed.

[audience laughing]

Brandon's last trick.

Brandon, the Wonder Dog,

will jump through
the hoop of fire.

Only it's cardboard fire

because if it was real fire

I couldn't hold the hoop.

Brandon, jump!

[drum roll]

Brandon, jump.

Brandon, jump.

This is what it would've looked
like if he'd done it.

The only reason I call him
Brandon, the Wonder Dog,

is because you always wonder
when he's gonna do something.

[audience applauding]

[instrumental music]

Now we have our
judges' decision

for the five finalists

in tonight's
"Miss Adorable Pageant."

And they are..

"Karen Westbrook."

"Margaux Kramer."

"Cherie Johnson."

"Melinda Crosby."

And last but not least,
"Punky Brewster."

And now, so our judges
can get to know

the girls a little better,

we're going to ask each of them
an unrehearsed question.

Karen, would you step
down here, please?

Now, here's your question.

"What living American
do you most admire and why?"

My Uncle Phil, 'cause he can
play "Yankee Doodle Dandy"

on his arm pit.

I see.

Isn't that patriotic?

Thank you, Karen.

Margaux, finish this sentence.

"In my free time, I like to..."

Roll bandages for
the Red Cross,

knit shawls for shut-ins,

and make this world a better
place in which to live.

Isn't that wonderful?

Because I believe
in world peace

with a strong m*llitary.

Thank you, Margaux.
That's very nice.

Now, Cherie, step down
here, please.

For your question..

"What do you like best
in school?"

Lunch.

You mean, you don't like school?

Well, it kills the time
until dinner.

Andy: Thank you, Cherie.

Melinda, hello.

"Who is the most important
person in your life?"

I guess I'd have to say
my mom and dad.

Andy: Well, actually
that's two people.

Let's try a different question.

Melinda, if you could change one
thing in your life,

what would it be?

I guess I'd have to say
my mom and dad.

[audience laughing]

Andy: Thank you.

Punky.

"What do you wanna be
when you grow up?"

The president
of the United States.

Or a waitress,
I'm not sure which.

But I do know this.

Whatever you are,
you should be yourself.

So that's what's I'm gonna be
when I grow up.

Me.

That's wonderful, Punky.

Great jacket.

Thank you.

[audience applauding]

[instrumental music]

And now, for the moment
we've all been waiting for,

the judges' decision.

The second runner up
is..."Karen Westbrook."

[cheering]

Now our first runner up

will have the most awesome
responsibility.

If for any reason Miss Adorable
cannot complete her duties

then the first runner up
will take her place.

And she is..."Melinda Crosby!"

One of these three little girls
will be crowned "Miss Adorable."

Which will it be?

[drum roll]
Andy: Will it be Cherie Johnson?

Will it be Punky Brewster?

Or will it be Margaux Kramer?

And the winner is..

...adorable
Miss...Cherie Johnson!

[audience applauding]

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

There you are.

Hi, Henry.

You were really
somethin' tonight.

I blew it.

You were one
of the five finalists.

That's terrific.

I know how badly
you wanted to win.

I didn't want to win for me.

I wanted to win for you.

For me?

Yeah. I want to be
A, number one,

so you'd be proud of me.

But I am proud of you.

How can you be?

I've never won anything.

Margaux says
that you have to win stuff

to prove to your parents
that you're somebody special.

I wanted to give you
a trophy tonight.

[chuckles]

Punky...

you are unbelievably
special to me.

And you've already
given me something

that is much bigger
and better than trophy.

And it's made of pure gold.

What's that?

Your heart.

Calm down, Cherie.
We'll find it.

Oh, what's the matter?

I can't find my crown.

Oh, uh, I think I know
who has it.

Who?

Brandon, the Wonder Dog!

[instrumental music]

Brandon.

[theme music]