02x05 - Tap Your Troubles Away

[bunniefuu]

[theme song]

♪ Maybe the world is blind

♪ Or just a little unkind

♪ Don't know

♪ Seems you can't be sure

♪ Of anything anymore

♪ Although

♪ You may be lonely and then

♪ One day you're smilin' again

♪ Every time I turn around

♪ I see the girl who
turns my world around ♪

♪ Standing there

♪ Every time I turn around

♪ Her spirit's lifting
me right off the ground ♪

♪ What's gonna be

♪ Guess we'll just
wait and see ♪♪

[dog barking]

[instrumental music]

You know, Betty,
working in the garden

is downright therapeutic.

It sure is, Henry!

Not to mention economical.

How much money have we saved

growing our own vegetables?

Well, let's see.

You got the cost
of the plant,

soil, the fertilizer--

The bug spray,
the new hose, tools.

Divide that by two
tomatoes and a carrot.

I'll say we're about a hundred
and fifty bucks in the hole.

Well... nobody said
therapy was cheap.

[laughs]

Wanna be, uh...
air traffic controllers?

How do you play that?

Well, I think...
first we go on strike

and then we get replaced.

How dreary!

Hey! Let's play
Broadway musical.

I'll be the star.

Why do you get to be the star?

That's why!

Wow! How did you learn that?

It's called talent, Punky.

I was born with it.

Yeah, we're all gonna
learn that next week.

Allen!

Don't worry, she doesn't know
who Jersey Janet is.

- Who's Jersey Janet?
- See!

Jersey Janet was a famous
Broadway star.

Now she's teaching tap dancing
here in Chicago.

And you're all
taking tap lessons?

Yes, Punky, but never mind.

This has absolutely
nothing to do with you.

Cherie, why didn't you
tell me about this?

Well, I wanted to.

But Margaux said it would
hurt your feelings.

Well, it hurts my feelings
even more

when you guys don't tell me.

Well, that was a risk
we had to take.

Why?

Punky, this is a dance class.

- You have to dance in it.
- So?

Punky, you have lots
of wonderful qualities

and goodness knows
we love you!

But a tree stump
has more rhythm than you.

I've got lots more rhythm
than a tree stump!

Punky... we were just afraid

that if you took
Jersey Janet's class.

You would really
embarrass yourself.

And those of us who know you.

Well, that's a risk
I'll have to take.

[instrumental music]

[shoes tapping]

Hey! Love your shoes, Punky!

Thanks, I do too.

Oh and by the way, Margaux,

when I told Henry
I was taking tap classes,

he thought I'd be great!

He's your parent, Punky.

He's required by law
to say that.

He is?

[instrumental music]

[cheering]

Oh, come on!
That was nothin'!

By the time Jersey Janet
is through with you

you will all be making
grand entrances.

Wow! A grand entrance!

Can you teach anybody to dance?

Absolutely, honey!

I once thought a cat to dance.

A cat?

Okay, kids. Now, listen.

Before we start,
I think it would be...

just swell of us...

to honor the tap greats
of the past.

All those who have
shuffled off

beyond Buffalo.

So... let's bow our heads

in a moment of silence.

That oughta do it!

Okay, g*ng!
Get a load of our maestro, Mack!

All: Hi, Mack!

Oh, Mack and I have
been together ever since

"There's no business
like toe business."

Mack is gonna be the music
director of our big show.

- A show?
- What show?

Yeah, we're gonna
put on a big show

in six short weeks
at the Fleebo Theatre

that is gonna knock
their socks off.

- What?
- Wow!

Okay now, cut the gab, come on!

Get in your places

and let's tippy tap toe!

A brush, brush, back!

A brush, brush, back!

Ah, brush, brush, back!

Oh, love it! Terrific!

Look at you go!

Wonderful! That's good!

That's the stuff!

A brush, brush--

Don't worry, honey.
You'll get it.

A brush, brush, back!

A brush, brush, back!

A brush, brush, back!

A brush, brush, back!

Flap, flap, flap,
ball change.

Flap, flap, flap,
ball change.

Flap, flap, flap,
ball change.

Super!

Oh, aces, Alice, good!

Whoa, way to go!

[instrumental music]

Don't worry, honey,
you'll get it.

Flap, flap, flap,
ball change!

Flap, flap, flap,
ball change!

Flap, flap, flap,
ball change.

Flap, flap, flap,
ball change.

Good kids!

Hop, shuffle, step...
hop, shuffle, step

Hop, shuffle, step.
Okay, we're good.

Two more times!

One more time,
hop, shuffle, step.

Hop, shuffle, step.
Hop, shuffle, step.

Don't worry, honey--

I know,
I'll get it, I'll get it.

Ah, come on, okey doke, kids.

Now, it is time to learn
the step that separates

the hoofers
from the heifers.

The time step.
Now, watch me do it once.

Here we go. Just watch me.

Okay? Now let's
do it all together.

Four times.

Here we go. And...

Three... four.

Okay!

- Uh, Miss Janet?
- Call me Jersey, honey.

Do they call it the time step

'cause it takes so much
time to learn it?

[chuckling]
No, it's a snap.

Come on, Margaux.
Show us how it's done.

Well, well, well, ooh!

Perfect, honey!

Wow!
You're a regular "Me."

Thank you.

I'm willing to be
the star of the show.

I'll, uh, keep it in mind.

Okay, Allen,
let's give it a sh*t.

Oh, I feel like
I've got two left feet.

That's 'cause
you got your shoes on wrong.

[kids laughing]

Oh!

Okay, Cherie,
how about you?

Mm, it's coming okay, toots.

You know, you're lucky, honey.

You got a dancer's body.

[clicking tongue]

[sighing]

I'll remember this moment
for the rest of my life.

Now, for our spunky
little Punky.

[laughing]

Hey! Come on, class!
Come on!

We can learn a lot from Punky.

How not to do it?

[laughing]

Na-uh!

How to give it your all!

You know, Punky,
you got a lot of personality

and you got a lot of pizazz.

What we gotta do is get that
pizazz down to your toes

where it'll do some good.

Don't worry, honey,
you'll get it.

The cat did.

I've gotta hand it to ya, Punky.

You've got nerve!

I wouldn't be able
to stand a class

where everyone was making
fun of me.

She said I had pizazz.

That's just a nice way of saying

you have the rhythm
of a tree stump.

It is?

Okay, everybody.

Let's take it from the top!

And... a tippy tap toe!

[instrumental music]

Good!

Now face it out front.

That's good.
And a big smile.

That's good!

Oh, yeah!
That's my kids.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

Hey!

- You take passport photos here?
- Yes!

- How long does it take?
- About ten minutes.

Great, hurry it up,
will you, pops?

- Taking a trip, eh?
- Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Where to?
- Uh... any place.

- Any place?
- Yeah.

Any place outta the country.

- Get out!
- Oh, come on, come on.

- Give me break here.
- Get out!

Look, I'll pay extra!

Brand new bills!
Go ahead, smell 'em.

- Get outta here!
- Look, what do you need, huh?

- Out!
- How about a watch?

- Something digital?
- Out!

Analogue, quartz, crystal,
what do you need?

- A Betamax?
- Out!

[sighs]

Out!

Hold it!

I'm sorry, Punky.

I didn't expect
you back so soon.

- Did the class finish early?
- Sorta.

You know, Punky...

I'm so glad
you're getting tap lessons.

- You are?
- Yes!

And especially
from a star like...

Jersey Janet!

I bet I'm her biggest fan!

You are?

Indeed!

Now tell me...

how did you like her class?

Henry! Did you know tap dancing
could be bad for your health?

- Oh?
- Yeah!

It gives you great, big
muscles in your legs.

Then, when you get old

all that muscle turns to fat.

Then you get very-close veins

and your feet turn green

and the doctor
has to cut them off

and none of your shoes
fit anymore!

I ask you...

is it worth it? I say no.

Punky, what's really
bothering you?

Did the class go badly?

I was awful!

I tried to learn but

I got everything all wrong!

Maybe you should just
try harder.

Maybe I should just quit.

Punky, quitting
can become a habit.

But, Henry, you don't know
what it's like

having all your friends
laughing at you.

Oh, yes!

I know exactly how it feels.

You do?

When I was a boy

I wanted to be a sailor,
more than anything!

The happiest day of my life

is when I joined
the Merchant Marine.

It also turned out to be
the worst day of my life.

- Why?
- Because I got seasick.

So? Lots of people get seasick.

Walking up the gangplank?

Oh.

From then on, every time
the captain said "Heave-ho"

the entire crew looked at me!

I was so embarrassed I wanted
to jump ship at the first port.

- Did you?
- I did not.

I stuck with it!

Day after endless day,
wave after endless wave.

Railing after endless railing.

But one day...

out of the blue.

I developed my sea legs

and I was never sick again.

Do you think I can develop
my tap legs?

Punky, if you try your hardest

you can do anything.

- Really?
- Really.

[door opens]

Excuse me, kind sir.

Do you take passport photos?

- Out!
- How about a nice car?

Some smurfs for the kid!

[grunting]

[instrumental music]

[upbeat music]

- Hi!
- Hey, slow down there.

But I can't slow down!

Today's the big day!

Wait a second.

Uh, what was that?

Today is my tap class.

And Jersey Janet's gonna give
out the parts for the big show!

Ah!

Hold it!

Break a leg.

Henry!

- It means good luck!
- Oh!

[pencil snaps]

Ah!

What do you have
for sixteen down?

How'd it go, power-toes?

[instrumental music]

And stay away from my feet!

What happened?

I was even worse than last week!

All your practicing didn't help?

No, I just got really good
at being very bad.

- You want to talk about it?
- No.

Henry, you know how Jersey Janet
used to say

"Don't worry kid,
you'll get it."

Yes!

Well, when I finished today

she said,
"Kid, it's time to worry."

Oh.

Henry, you said
if I tried my hardest

I could do anything!

Well, I did
and I became a failure.

Punky, it's impossible
for a person

who tries their hardest
to be a failure.

Tell that to my feet!

You're not failures!

They don't believe you.

A failure, is someone
who gives up without trying.

And that's not
my Punky Brewster or her feet!

I'm very proud of all
three of you!

Thanks, I just wish the three
of us could be in the show.

At least one of us, anyway.

Hold it. Jersey Janet's
not putting you in the show?

How could she?

I was the worst dancer
in class.

[dramatic music]

♪ The night is young

♪ The skies are clear

♪ So if you
want to go walkin' dear ♪

♪ It's delightful

♪ It's delicious

♪ It's still lovely

[tapping]

♪ I can't remember
how this verse goes ♪

♪ Your sentimental and so am I

♪ It's delightful

♪ It's delicious

♪ It's delectable

♪ It's delirious

♪ It's dilemma

♪ It's de-limit

♪ It's deluxe

♪ It's de-lovely..

Ha ha ha! Well...

Hey, you're alright!

Are you here to sign up
for my swinging seniors class?

- No, I'm not.
- Well, you ought to.

Boy, you remember that song
better than I do.

I heard you sing at the USO.

I never forgot it...

nor you.

Well, if you like me so much

why didn't you come back stage?

Oh! Now...

I didn't have the nerve.

I was just a sailor on leave!

You were a big star.

So, what's your name, sailor?

Seamen First Class,
Henry Warnimont, ma'am.

Put her there, Hank.

Usually I dislike
being called Hank.

But coming from you...

it's de-lovely.

Well, say...

You really know
how to sweet talk a lady.

Oh, Hank,
can I do something for you?

You already have.

Oh, nice to know
I haven't lost my touch.

Uh... a-actually,
there is something.

Excuse us.

You see, my foster daughter's
in your class.

- Oh?
- Punky Brewster.

Oh.

- She's not so good?
- She's a klutz.

Hey! Now, Punky may
have occasional

moments of awkwardness.

But she's not a klutz.

Relax, ay, when I was her age
I was a klutz myself.

- You?
- Oh, yeah!

My toes were all thumbs.

I can't believe it!

Oh, I was a cow on crutches.

But I outgrew it.

You never know with kids.

Today's klutz could be
tomorrow's star.

Does that mean Punky
has a chance to be in your show?

Oh... all the kids
are in my show!

But if she can't dance,
what is she going to do?

Well, why don't we make
it our little surprise?

[chuckling]

[instrumental music]

[upbeat music]

Male announcer: Ladies
and gentlemen...

This is Simon Fleebo.

The Fleebo Theater
is proud to present

an international star.

The fastest feet
in the Midwest

Miss Jersey Janet!

[crowd clapping]

Save it for the kids.

Welcome to my production
of "Spring Loose."

Now, before we start I think

it would be just swell of us.

To honor the tap greats
of the past.

So let's bow out heads

in a moment of silence.

That oughta do it.

Okay! On with the show!

[audience clapping]

♪ Be my little baby bumblebee

♪ Buzz around buzz around
keep a-buzzin' 'round ♪

♪ Bring home all
the honey love to me ♪

♪ Little bee little bee
little bee ♪

♪ Let me spend the happy hours

♪ Roving with you
amongst the flowers ♪

♪ And when we get where
no one else can see ♪

♪ Cuddle up cuddle up
cuddle up ♪

Oh, Henry!

Isn't my Cherie a beautiful
little daisy?

Where's Punky?

Oh, don't worry.
I'm sure she'll be along.

♪ As can be

♪ You and me
you and me you and me ♪

♪ Honey keep a-buzzin' please

♪ I've got a dozen cousin bees

♪ But I want you
to be my baby bumblebee ♪

[kids buzzing]

[buzzing]

[upbeat music]

- Whoa!
- Whoa!

♪ Honey keep a-buzzin' please

♪ I've got a dozen cousin bees

♪ But I want you
to be my baby bumble ♪

♪ Want you to be my
baby bumble ♪

♪ Want you to be my
baby bumble ♪

♪ Buzzz bee ♪

[buzzing]

[drumroll]

[upbeat music]

[audience cheering]

[indistinct chatter]

- Thanks, Jersey.
- It was nothin', Hank.

The kid's got pizazz.

- So do you, sailor.
- Oh!

Oh, Cherie!

I must have a green thumb.

I sure have grown
a pretty little flower.

- Thanks, grandma!
- Aw!

- Punky, you were wonderful!
- Thanks.

Maybe next show they'll

let me keep my feet
on the ground.

Whoa!

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

[music continues]