02x15 - Girls Will Be Boys

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Punky Brewster". Aired: September 16, 1984 to March 1986.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


Follows Punky and her dog, Brandon who have been abandoned by her parents.
Post Reply

02x15 - Girls Will Be Boys

Post by bunniefuu »

[theme music]

♪ Maybe the world is blind

♪ Or just a little unkind

♪ Don't know

♪ Seems you can't be sure

♪ Of anything anymore

♪ Although

♪ You may be lonely and then

♪ One day you're smiling again

♪ Every time I turn around

♪ I see the girl
who turns my world around ♪

♪ Standing there

♪ Every time I turn around

♪ Her spirit's lifting me
right off the ground ♪

♪ What's gonna be?

♪ Guess we'll just
wait and see ♪♪

[instrumental music]

Girls, when we sew all these
granny squares together,

we'll have a beautiful Afghan.

Let's see how you're doing.

I've got a lopsided granny.

My granny's got no middle.

Don't worry, girls,
they'll make good pot holders.

But what about the Afghan?

We'll buy an electric blanket.

Good evening, ladies.

[laughing]

Uh-oh, girls, quick,
run for cover.

We're having
the buffalo stampede.

I don't see the humor here.

This hat represents fifteen
years of loyal membership

in the benevolent
Order of Buffalo.

I'm proud to be a Bob.

It's a dignified
and responsible organization.

It's certainly responsible
for the biggest belly laugh

I've ever had.

[laughs]

Let's leave your big belly
out of this.

Tell me, Punky,
do you think I look ridiculous?

Do I have to tell the truth?

Or can I fib?

Let me put it this way.

Do you want this package
I picked up for you

or shall I return it
to the post office?

Henry, I love that hat.

- What package?
- This one.

It's from Sandit's
Hobby and Game Shop.

Seems you won a prize.

Remember, Cherie?

We put our names
in the fish bowl.

It's the tea set, Punky.

You've won the tea set.

- Yay!
- Calm down, you monkeys.

Wait until you see it, grandma.

It's so beautiful.

It's got flowers
and butterflies

and... mad wheels?

No, it's a radio-controlled car.

Now, why would they
send a racing car

to a nine-year-old girl?

"Congratulations,
your name has been selected

from hundreds of other boys."

Oh! Evidently, they thought
Punky was a boy's name.

Oh, don't open it. If you do,
they won't take it back.

But how will I know
if I want to keep it or not?

Punky, you don't want
to keep it. It's for boys.

But why? It doesn't say
"Boys only" on the box.

This car has to be assembled.

There are more than
a hundred pieces in there.

You'd never be able
to put it together.

You mean, because I'm a girl?

Well, yes,
in a manner of speaking.

Buffalo bull!

This is Punky's car.

Let her build it.

Thanks, Mrs. Johnson.

I don't know why but I really
feel like I can build this car.

That may be.

But as we say
to every brand new Bob

"It's a wise buffalo
who walks cautiously

in unknown pastures."

[instrumental music]

Hello, Mr. Warnimont.

Where's Punky?

Probably in her room,
working on that mobile car.

She's been at it for days.

I'm just hoping
that she'll emerge

before it's too late
for her to find her husband.

[laughs]

I offered to build it for her.

But she said
it wouldn't be the same.

Ah.

Of course it wouldn't.
If I built it, it would run.

[instrumental music]

Hey! I finally finished it.

What do you think?

I think I can't believe it.

It runs.

Why, Punky, it does run.

Henry: Look, Allen, it runs.

Of course it runs, Henry.

That's what it's supposed to do.

This is extraordinary, Punky.

I'm very proud of you.

I've got to get my camera.

I must have a picture
of my little grease monkey.

Man, compared to this,

my car looks like a tin can
on retreads.

Great job, Punky.

Thanks, Allen.

I bet this baby would burn
rubber on a regulation track.

Hey, can I borrow this
to race at Mr. Matzie's?

Who's Mr. Matzie?

He's Richmond's dad.

Built a great track
for the guys.

We've got a mud jump,
and a sandpit,

and hairpin curves.

Wow! Sounds awesome.

It is. Can I borrow your car?

No way. I wanna race it myself.

Sorry, Punky. No girls allowed.

Track's just for us guys.

Just for guys?

Wait a minute.

I'm a girl, and I built this car

with girl hands
and a girl brain.

So, kick it in gear, Allen.

We're going to that track
right now.

[instrumental music]

Women.

Stay high in the corner.

Come on.

Mr. Matzie: Oh.

[indistinct screaming]

Alright.

Come on, keep the throttle
steady, Richmond.

Mr. Matzie: Close him out.
Richmond: No way, come on.

Mr. Matzie: Close him out!

Hurray! Hurray!

[laughs]

- Alright.
- You did that on purpose!

Yeah. I always win on purpose.

Hey, hey, hey. Fellas. Fellas.

It's a race. Somebody wins
and somebody loses.

Remember, Bobby,
when the going gets tough,

the tough get going.

[chuckles]

[imitates chicken]

Some guys can't take
the heat, you know, huh?

- Great race, son.
- Thanks, dad.

- Hi!
- Hi, guy!

Hey there, Allen.

Everybody, I want you
to meet Punky Brewster.

Punky, this is Mr. Matzie
and the guys.

Hi, guys.

Well, hello, little lady.
What you got there?

A, uh, sewing kit?

No, this is my car.
I built it myself.

And I'd like to race it.

That's real nice, honey.

And I'm sure
it's a monster machine.

But we don't have
any powder puff events here.

Allen, are you nuts?
Bringing her here?

Can't you go anywhere
without your little girlfriends?

Uh, I didn't want her to come.

But you know women.

Nag, nag, nag.

Yeah, well,
this ain't no tea party.

So, get her out of here
before she hurts herself.

She just wants to show you
her car. You ought to see it.

It really cooks.

So does Betty Crocker,
but you don't see her here.

Listen, if you just
give me a chance...

Nothing personal, honey.

But maybe you should go home
and play with your dolls.

Yeah, right.
Come on, guys. Go.

Allen, can't you do something?

Yeah, loan me your car,
and I can win the race.

- Allen.
- What?

Eat my dust.

And then, he told me to go home
and play with my dolls.

He wouldn't even look at my car.

Hmm. Not a very
diplomatic approach.

That's what I say. So, let's go.

"Go?" Where?

Back to the track.

You are going to stand up
for me, right?

Punky, sit down.

Did I ever tell you
the Minerva Underwood story?

No, but you can tell me about it
on the way to Mr. Matzie's.

Minerva Underwood was the first,
last, and only female

ever admitted into my lodge.

Oh, it's a Buffalo story.

We bison tried to explain,

"No cows allowed."

Minerva was determined.
She wrote letters.

She got up a petition.
Threatened a lawsuit.

Finally, we settled out of court
and let her join.

What a neat story. Let's go.

Buffalo life
wasn't easy on Minerva.

Poor Minerva turned in her tail
at the second meeting

and we never saw her again.

I understood
what she was trying to do.

But... she only ended up

hurting herself.

Gee, that's too bad. Now,
will you take me to the track?

The point is, Punky,

you can drive
that infernal car anywhere.

Why must you go
to the one place

where you're not wanted?

Because it's wrong of them
to keep me out.

And I want you
to tell them that.

I can't tell them that, Punky.

I think they're right.

[instrumental music]

Come on in. It's open.

- Hi, Henry.
- Hi, Mike.

[sniffs]
Mm, something smells good.

We're having spaghetti bow ties.
Punky's favorite.

Great. Hey, I brought dessert.

- Thanks.
- Where's Punky?

She's busy, sulking in her room.

Uh, she's still upset
about that car business, huh?

Well, matter of fact, she asked
me to speak to you about that.

That child can be so stubborn.

Typical female.

Really?

I didn't know
that there was such a thing.

Hah!

She cannot resist a challenge.

She only wants to be there
because she can't.

She put a lot of hard work
into making that car.

She just wants to race it
on the regulation track.

That's not the point.

She's a little girl,
I don't want her hanging out

with a bunch of ruffians
at a race track.

These are boys her own age,
Henry.

Not the Hell's Angels.

Believe it or not,
I was a nine-year-old boy once.

I know what they're like.

Yeah, but that's been a while.

Boys don't wear knickers
and garters anymore.

And that's another thing.

Punky's looked like a tomboy
long enough.

It's high time she dressed
and acted like a girl.

Now, hold on, Henry.

Hold on.

What if Sally Ride's father
felt the same way?

There would be no women
in space.

Or what about Joan of Arc's dad?

No women in the army.

Or Jane Goodall's father.

No women in the jungle.

And that's the one
that keeps me awake all night.

Henry, without woman like that,

this world would be a very
boring place for us guys.

Mike, I have the highest respect

for Sally, Joan, and Jane.

However, it's Punky
I'm trying to raise.

And you're doing
a commendable job.

But you must admit that Punky

is being unfairly
discriminated against.

Come on, Mike.

She'll forget about the whole
thing in a week or two.

I don't think so, Henry.

She wants you to stand up
for her rights.

And I happen to believe
that it's a boy's right

to pursue his activities
without girls.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, n-- now,
back up for a second here.

Back up.

Are you saying
if Punky was a boy

and built that same car,

that you'd stand up for her?

But she's not a boy.

And she's not going
to hang around a race track

and that's final.

Now, sit down, and let's enjoy
this delicious dinner.

[instrumental music]

Gee, it doesn't seem fair having
this much fun without Punky.

Punky.

Punky.

Hi, Mike. How'd it go?

Well, I got some good news
and I got bad news.

What's the good news?

Well, the good news
is that we're having

spaghetti bow ties for dinner
and fudge brownies for desert.

Don't tell me.

The bad news is we're eating
with a buffalo

that won't take me
to the race track.

I'm sorry, Punky, but I tried
to change his mind,

but he's convinced that this
racing stuff is only for boys.


Now, wash up, and let's go
chew some bow ties.

Brandon. Brandon.

Don't chew on Punky's sock.

Here, chew on Henry's.

Richmond, tighten up
that resistor plate.

And get it right this time, huh?

Sure, dad.

Hey, no borrowing tools.
Give it back.

Cherie: Punky, are you sure
this is gonna work?

Punky: No,
but it's worth a sh*t.

Just remember, act like a boy.

Punky: Okay?
Cherie: Okay.

Hey, guys. What's happening?

This track doesn't look so hot.

We'll blow their doors off
and be home

in time to catch
the hockey game.

Yeah, man.

Guys, what can we do for you?

I'm Bucky Warnimont

and this is Charlie Johnson.

We wanna race.

Pleased to meet you, Bucky.
Oh. Charlie.

[spits] Yeah, man.

So, uh, how'd you boys
hear about us?

I don't know, maybe in the
locker room or the pool.

Or one of those guy places
we hang out in.

- Right, Chuck?
- Yeah, Buck.

Welcome aboard, fellas.

Hey, guys.

Say hello to Bucky and Charlie.

- Hey, Bucky.
- Hey, Charlie.

Hey there, Bucky. Nice car.

Thanks.

Mr. Matzie: Okay, speed demons.

Your attention, please.

Here it is.

This is what
it's all about, boys.

The thrill of victory.

Hi, guys.

And here comes
the agony of defeat.

[laughs]

Sorry I'm late.

Hey, Richmond, don't put
your name on the trophy yet.

This could be the day
I cream you.

Take it easy, Allen.

You're scaring the new kids.

Allen, meet, uh,
what are your names again?

Chucky and Ducky?

[laughs]

It's Bucky and Charlie.

You got a problem with that,
Richmond?

No, just asking.

Say, Bucky,
you look kind of familiar.

Don't I know you from somewhere?

You ever fight
in the Golden Gloves?

No.

Your little league make it
to the state finals?

- No.
- You into karate?

No.

Then you don't know me.

Hey, Bucky. You ready to race?

Sure I am.

Come on, guys.
Get set up for the main event.

Let's go.

Hey, let me see that car.

- Punky.
- Shh.

If Mr. Matzie finds out,
he's gonna blow a gasket.

Be cool.

Just think of this as

one small step for racing

and one giant joke on Richmond

when I win.

Hey, fella, you know you're
hanging around with a girl?

[instrumental music]

Attention, drivers.

Twenty seconds to start.

- Twenty seconds?
- Hey, Allen.

You think that Mickey Mouse
job of yours

will even finish one lap?

[laughs]

Don't worry about me being sh*t.

Let's try playing
by the rules this time.

Oh, rules are for checkers.

No guts, no glory.

That's my motto.

Drivers. Ready?

- Oh, come on.
- Oh, Allen!

Get with it, Allen, okay?
Come on.

What's the matter?
You nervous?

Oh, shut up and get ready.

I was born ready.

It's another girl. Hey, dad.

We're being invaded by women.

Look, I just want a chance.
That's all.

No kidding.

Well, you're quite
a gutsy little lady.

Too bad you're disqualified.

And why, may I ask,
is she disqualified?

Henry, you came after all.

Say, who are you?

Her old lady in disguise?

I, sir, am her father.

Well, then, you know
why she doesn't qualify.

She's a girl.

Buffalo bull.

What?

I'm ashamed to admit it.

But I used to be
just as big a jerk as you.

I used to think that there were
girl activities

and boy activities.

Now, I realize how important
this is to Punky.

And I don't want my daughter
to grow up

thinking there are certain
things she cannot do

because of her sex.

Now, she built this car.
It qualifies.

And I'm here to stand up
for her right to race it.

Alright, Henry.

You've come a long way, baby.

Disqualify her, dad.
Those are the rules.

What's the matter, Richmond?

Scared you'd be b*at by a girl?

[imitates chicken]

I'll show you who's scared.

Count 'em down, dad.

- Alright.
- I like it.

Gentlemen, and lady,

get ready... get set...

go!

Mr. Matzie: They're up.

Cherie: Come on. Yeah. Come on.

Mr. Matzie: Super jab chick's
leading with the jump.

Hard on your nose
but recovers nicely.

It's gotta be fourth position.

Fast att*ck coming up.

Nice cornerin'.

[instrumental music]

Mr. Matzie: Punky takes
the lead. One lap down.

Richmond takes the lead.
Surprise, surprise.

Woo-hoo.

Punky is now going fast.

It's a wide open race.

Get with her, Richmond,
here she comes.

Punky takes the lead
on the jump.

Open her up, Richmond.
Not too wide.

Alright. Yes. Nice move.

Richmond in the lead.

Full throttle, Richmond.
You're almost home.

[music continues]

Whoa! Tom fell out
with the fast att*ck.

Better luck next time.

Uh-oh! The Fred bug's out.

Nice wheelie, Allen.

Watch it on the wall.
Ah, ah, ah. Oh, too late.

[laughs]

Last lap.

Richmond still holds
the lead, thank God.

Punky's closing in.

Coming over...
It's a very close race,

and Richmond loses.

[cheering]

Yeah!

Nice going, lug nut.

Yippee! I won, I did it.

Ah, you certainly did, Punky.

I'm proud of you,

young lady.

Thanks for being here
to stick up for me, Henry.

Here you go, kid.
You ran a tight race, so, uh,

I guess this is yours.

Thanks, this will look great
on the shelf

right next to my dolls.

[theme music]
Post Reply