09x22 - The Clip Show

Seinfeld complete collection. Aired: July 1989 to May 1998.*
Post Reply

09x22 - The Clip Show

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪]

[♪]

If we're gonna see this movie
we gotta get moving.

Let's roll.

Come on, people.
Previews.

Schnell, schnell.

Oh. Hello.

Nine years.

Seems like a long time,
doesn't it? It is.

And we've packed a lot in,
the four of us.

It seems like every week,
a whole new set of problems

would just crop up
out of nowhere.

Except for summer,

Except for summer,

where nothing seemed to happen
for months at a time.

Anyway, the point is,
over the last nine years...

GEORGE: We're gonna
miss the movie!

I'm coming!
KRAMER: Previews, Jerry!

Just go already!

Over the last nine years, we've
had a lot of experiences.

And I'll tell you, when you
stop and add 'em all up,

that's what you realize.

Watch this.

ELAINE: Jerry!
Shut up!

[JOHN WILLIAMS'
"THEME FROM SUPERMAN" PLAYING]

[♪]

GEORGE:
What is this?

Do you ever get the feeling
like you had a haircut,

but you didn't have one?

but you didn't have one?

I'm all itchy back here.

[SIGHS]

What?

W-what are we doing?

What in God's name are we doing?

What?

What...? What kind of lives
are these?

We're like children.
We're not men.

No, we're not.
We're not men.

We're pathetic, you know that?
Oh, yeah,

like I don't know
that I'm pathetic.

[INHALES]

[SIGHS]

[GASPS, SCREAMS]

[GASPS, SCREAMS]

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry, I thought
this was the baby's room.

[SNICKERING]
I'm really sorry.

I was in the pool!

I was in the pool!

Since when do you smoke?

[COUGHING]

I've always smoked.

I've never seen you smoke.

Oh, yeah, well...
Big smoker.

[COUGHING]
I gave it up for a...

[COUGHING]
I gave it up for a...

A while, but it was too tough.

You know,

[COUGHING]
I don't got the willpower.

Well, I don't like this one bit.

Well, I can't stop now.

[COUGHING]

I'm addicted.
They got a hold on me.

Well, you are gonna have
to quit.

Oh, God.

[♪]

That's why I'm different.

I can sense
the slightest human suffering.

Are you sensing anything
right now?

Oh...

[MUFFLED]
Mrs. Enright!

Mrs. Enright!

Do you have a woman?

No.

Do you have any prospects?

No.

You got anything on the horizon?

Uh...

No.

Do you have
any conceivable reason

for even getting up
in the morning?

I like to get the daily news.

How come I didn't get
a Christmas card?

Everybody else got one.

Jerry got one.
Kramer got one.

I thought we were good friends.

I don't get a Christmas card.
I don't get it.

You want a Christmas card?

You want a Christmas card?
You want a Christmas card?

All right, here.
Here's your Christmas card.

Every group has someone
that they all make fun of.

Like us, with Elaine.

♪ When you wish
Upon a star ♪


♪ Your dreams will take you
Very far, yeah... ♪


Whoo!

You're bald!

No, I'm not.

I was bald.

I was bald.

Elaine.
KRAMER: Hey.

Hey, hey, hey.
Come on.

No! No!

No! No! No!
No, Elaine!

I don't like this thing!

And here's what I'm doing
with it!

[YELLING]

Stella.

Stella!

[♪]

Elaine, you don't like
the movie?

Elaine, you don't like
the movie?

I hate it!

ALL: Shh!
Oh, go to hell!

You a liar?
Are you?

Get your finger out of my face.

Get yours out.
I was here first.

I don't care.
Get it out.

Get it out. Out.

Hey, hey, hey. All right.
Hey, hey. Come on. Stop it.

Come on. Break it up.

Hey, hey!

What's the matter with you?

Now, don't you two see

that you're in love
with each other?

Kramer goes to a fantasy camp.

His whole life
is a fantasy camp.

People should plunk down $
to live like him for a week.

Do nothing,

fall ass-backwards into money,
mooch food off your neighbors,

and have sex without dating.

That's a fantasy camp.

Whoop-whoop.

Well, looks like
you've adjusted to the boxers.

Well, I wouldn't go as far
as that.

You went back to the Jockeys?

Wrong again.

Oh, no.

What? What?

Don't you see
what's going on here?

No boxers, no Jockeys.

Eww.

The only thing
between him and us

is a thin layer of gabardine.

I'm out there, Jerry,

and I'm loving every minute
of it.

[SCREAMS]

We have face cloth for your...
Ow!

We have face cloth for your...
Ow!

[SCREAMS]

Hey!

Oh, ladies and gentlemen,

it's our good friend,
George Costanza.

What a surprise.

["THEME FROM THE MERV GRIFFIN
SHOW" PLAYING ON TAPE]

[LAUGHS]

Kramer, he's just a dentist.

Yeah, and you're
an anti-dentite.

I am not an anti-dentite.

You're a rabid anti-dentite.

Next thing, you're saying

they should have
their own schools.

They do have their own schools.

Y-y-yeah!

What kind of a person are you?

I think I'm pretty much
like you.

Only successful.

No! No!

Anyway, I... I wanted to talk
to you about Dr. Whatley.

Anyway, I... I wanted to talk
to you about Dr. Whatley.

I... I have a suspicion
that he's converted to Judaism

purely for the jokes.

And this offends you
as a Jewish person?

No, it offends me as a comedian.

[PHONE RINGS]

MAN [ON PHONE]: Hi. Would you
be interested in switching over


to TMI long-distance service?

Oh, gee,
I-I can't talk right now.

Why don't you give me your home
number and I'll call you later.

Uh, well, I'm sorry,
we're not allowed to do that.


I guess you don't want
people calling you at home.

No.

Well, now you know how I feel.

[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]

Hey, buddy.

[PANTING]

I'm on no sleep.
No sleep!

You don't know
what it's like in there.

Things are creaking
and cracking.

And that red light
is burning my brain.

You look a little stressed.

Oh, I'm stressed.
: : , --] : : ,
Jerry. k*ll me.

k*ll me now. I'm begging you.

Well, uh...

What, kind of like this?

What...? What are you doing?

[MUFFLED SHOUTING]

Jerry! Agh!

Jerry! Jerry!

Jerr... Jerry!

Jerry. Wha...?

[COUGHING]

Elaine.
What are you doing here?

[BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKER]

Oh, my God.

[♪]

JERRY:
Elaine, what percentage

of people would you say
are good-looking?

Twenty-five percent.

Twenty-five percent?
Mm-hm.

No way. It's, like, four
to six percent.

I-it's a -to- sh*t.

You're way off.

Way off? Have you been
to the motor vehicle bureau?

It's a leper colony down there.

So basically
what you're saying is

percent of the population
is undateable?

Undateable!

Then how are all these people
getting together?

Alcohol.

[♪]

[♪]

What about you? Did people
make fun of your name?

Are you kidding?

What do you expect
when your name rhymes

with a part
of the female anatomy?

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Oh, Jerry.

Oh, you.

Love is a spice
with many tastes.

A dizzying array
of textures and moments.

All right, let's go.
I'll give you half an hour.

What?

Come on.

Are you serious?
Look, Jerry.

We have to have sex
to save the friendship.

Sex to save the friendship.

Well, if we have to, we have to.

[DOOR OPENING]

What's, uh, going on?

What's, uh, going on?

It was a pleasure
doing business with you

but I'm gonna have to get going.

[SCOFFS]
"Get going"?

But, uh, we haven't really,
you know, uh...

Eight dollars? Eight dollars?

What are you doing?
Robbing me?

I wasted my whole morning
on you for $ ?

Wait a second,
what are you doing?

I'm taking your clothes.

No, no, no!
That's my only suit!

It cost me $ .
I got it at Moe Ginsburg!

Bye, George.

Wait, you can't
just leave me here!

Will I see you again?

You just tell him
that you're my boyfriend

You just tell him
that you're my boyfriend

and that we're in love, okay?

Can you do that?

Yeah, yeah.
I'm your boyfriend. Yeah.

Okay.

Have we been intimate?

Yeah. Yeah,
we've been intimate.

All right,
how often do we do it?

Kramer, how is that important?

Honestly. Do you really think
he's gonna ask that?

Elaine, he's a psychiatrist.

They're interested in stuff
like that.

All right, all right.

We do it, uh, five times a week.

Okay?

Okay?

Oh, baby.

Oh, man.

So we're, uh, fooling around
there, you know.

It's getting a little passionate

and, uh, she starts
with the dirty talking.

All right. All right.
Hold on. Time out.

Whoa, whoa.

What did she say?

Typical things.

What's typical?
Give me typical.

Give me some typical.

She says, uh...

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

WOMAN: Ow, George!
GEORGE: Ah.

What are you doing?

I'm, uh,

you know, uh,

pleasuring you.

It feels like aliens
poking at my body.

So you think
you're spongeworthy?

Yes, I think I'm spongeworthy.

I think I'm very spongeworthy.

Run down your case for me again.
Ahem.

Well, we've gone out
several times.

We obviously have a good rapport.
Mm-hm.

We obviously have a good rapport.
Mm-hm.

Um, I eat well. I exercise.

Blood tests, immaculate.

You gonna do something
about your sideburns there?

Yeah, I told you.
I-I'm gonna.

All right, let's go.
Okay.

I might tell her
that I love her.

Well, that's a big move,
Georgie boy.

Are you confident
in the "I love you" return?

Fifty-fifty.

'Cause if you don't get
that return,

'Cause if you don't get
that return,

that's a pretty big matzo ball
hanging out there.

Well, I just gotta say it once.

Everybody else gets to say it.
Why...? Why can't I say it?

What, you never said it?

Once, to a dog.

He licked himself
and left the room.

How is it that a man like you,

so bald and so quirky
and funny...

How is it you're not taken?

Well, Marisa,

see, the...
The thing is...

I'm sort of engaged.

[♪]

[MEN SPEAKING IN GERMAN]

I'm not married.
I'm not allowed to go out with somebody else?

I'm not married.
I'm not allowed to go out with somebody else?

Depends.
Depends on what?

On many factors.

Like what?

Well, how long you've been
seeing her.

What's your phone call
frequency?

Are you on a daily?
No.

Semi-daily.
Four or five times a week.

What about Saturdays?
You have to ask her out

or is the date implied?

Implied.

She got anything
in your medicine cabinet?

Might be some moisturizer.

Uh-huh.

Let me ask you this.

Is there any Tampax
in your house?

Is there any Tampax
in your house?

Yeah.

Well, I'll tell you what you got here.
Yeah.

You got yourself a girlfriend.

Oh, no, no, no.

[♪]

I mean, what are you
thinking about, Jerry?

Marriage? Family?

Well...

They're prisons.

Man-made prisons.
You're doing time.

You get up in the morning,
she's there.

You go to sleep at night,
she's there.

You go to sleep at night,
she's there.

It's like you gotta ask
permission to...

To... To use the bathroom.

"Is it all right
if I use the bathroom now?"

Really?
Yeah. And you can forget about

watching TV while you're eating.

Because it's dinnertime.

And you know what you do at dinner?
What?

You talk about your day.

"How was your day today?

"Did you have a good day
or a bad day today?

"Well, what kind
of day was it?"

"Well, I don't know,
how about you? How was yours?"

I'm glad we had this talk.

Oh, you have no idea.

Oh, you have no idea.

Look, do I have to break up
with her in person?

Can't I do it over the phone?

I... I have no stomach
for these things.

You should just do it
like a Band-Aid.

One motion, right off!

What's the matter?

Nothing.

You're acting weird.
Is anything wrong?

No.

Are you breaking up with me?

Are we going out?

You're breaking up with me,
aren't you?

Do you want me
to break up with you?

If that's what you want.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Okay, fine.
Break up with me.

All right.
We're broken up.

Can we still be friends?

Listen to this.

Marcy comes over
and she tells me

that her ex-boyfriend
was over late last night

and, "yada, yada, yada,
I'm really tired today."

What do you think
she was tired from?

Well, obviously the yada, yada.

You don't think
she'd yada, yada sex?

I've yada, yada'd sex.

I've yada, yada'd sex.

Really?
Yeah.

I met this lawyer,
we went out to dinner.

I had the lobster bisque.
We went back to my place.

Yada, yada, yada,
I never heard from him again.

But you yada, yada'd
over the best part.

No, I mentioned the bisque.

Allison spoke to me,

and, um, she wanted me
to speak to you.

Uh-oh.

So Allison and I think
that the best thing

to do is just make
a clean break.

to do is just make
a clean break.

Can't we discuss this?

We just don't think you're ready
for a serious relationship.

I didn't even know
you wanted to get serious.

So, what am I in this for?

You know, I'm getting
to a point in my life

where I need something more
than just...

a good time.

Kramer, please.

[WHIMPERS]

You didn't have make-up sex?

How could you not have
make-up sex?

That's the best feature
of the heavy relationship.

That's the best feature
of the heavy relationship.

[SCOFFS]

I missed out
on the make-up sex.

In your situation,
the only sex you're gonna have

better than make-up sex

is if you're sent to prison
and you have a conjugal visit.

Yeah, conjugal-visit sex.
That is happening.

David, I'm going to hell.

The worst place in the world.

With devils and those...
Those caves, and...

And the ragged clothing.

And the heat.
My God, the heat.

I mean, what do you think
about all that?

I mean, what do you think
about all that?

It's gonna be rough.

Ah! You should be trying
to save me.

Don't boss me. This is why
you're going to hell.
: : , --] : : ,
I am not going to hell.

And if you think
I'm going to hell,

you should care
that I'm going to hell.

Even though I am not.

You stole my Jesus fish,
didn't you?

Yeah, that's right.

[GARGLES]

If she is allowed
to infiltrate this world,

then George Costanza as you
know him ceases to exist.

You see, right now,
I have Relationship George.

You see, right now,
I have Relationship George.

But there is also
Independent George.

That's the George you know.
The George you grew up with.

Movie George.
Coffee Shop George.

Liar George. Bawdy George.

I-I love that George.

Me too.

And he's dying, Jerry.

If Relationship George
walks through this door,

he will k*ll Independent George.

A George divided
against itself cannot stand!

A George divided
against itself cannot stand!

Would you like some bread,
Jerry?

No. No, thanks,
I'm just not hungry.

Then at least drink your beer.

That's not a twist-off.

You have a little something
on your face.

She had man hands.

He's a re-gifter.
She's a two-face.

She's got the jimmy legs.

She's a virgin.
He's poor.

She's got everything I've always
wanted in another human being.

Except for the walking.

Except for the walking.

She eats her peas one at a time.

She just took credit
for my salad.

He's a male bimbo.
He's a mimbo.

She's one of these low talkers.
Because he's a high talker.

Bit of a close talker.

She can't hear very well
out of her ear.

She's bald?

She's bald!

He's a bad breaker-upper.

She went out with Newman.

He's like a Svengali.

She's too tan.
She's too good.

She wasn't my type.

She just dislikes me so much.

It's irresistible.

[♪]

GEORGE:
How can I do this?

How can I move back in with
those people? Please tell me.

They're insane.
You know that.

Hey, my parents are just
as crazy as your parents.

I'm paying.
Dad, I'm paying.

Get out of here.
You're not paying.

Now, Jerry, please,
do not do this to your father.

I can't get it open.

Yay, Jerry got it open.

How can you compare
your parents to my parents?

I told everybody about it.
Everybody knows.

I told everybody about it.
Everybody knows.

Mm, I stopped short.

[ON MACHINE]
Jerry, it's Frank Costanza,

Mr. Steinbrenner's here,

Georgie, I'm a divorcee.

You're not a divorcee.
You're just separated.

You're... You're a "separatee."

Well, I'm out there, George.
No, you're not out there.
: : , --] : : ,
I am too.
You're not out there.

You can't be,
because I am out there.

And if I see you out there,

there's not enough voltage
in this world

to electroshock me
back into coherence.

This is delicious, Mrs. Ross.
Oh.

This is delicious, Mrs. Ross.
Oh.

Let me understand.

You got the hen, the chicken
and the rooster.

The rooster goes
with the chicken.

So who's having sex
with the hen?

We'll talk about it
another time.

But you see my point here?

You only hear of a hen,
a rooster and a chicken.

Something's missing.

Something's missing, all right.

They're all chickens.

The rooster has sex
with all of them.

That's perverse.

[♪]

[♪]

[MICHAEL JACKSON'S "DON'T STOP
TILL YOU GET ENOUGH" PLAYING]

♪ Lovely ♪

♪ Is the feeling now ♪

♪ Fever ♪

♪ Temperature's rising now ♪

♪ Temperature's rising now ♪

♪ Power ♪

♪ Oh, power ♪

♪ Is the force, the vow ♪

♪ That makes it happen ♪

[♪]

Hello, and welcome to Moviefone.

If you know the name of the
movie you'd like to see,

press one.

Come on, come on.

Using your touchtone keypad,

Using your touchtone keypad,

please enter
the first three letters

of the movie title now.

You've selected...

Agent Zero.

If that's correct, press one.

What?

Uh, you've selected
Brown-Eyed Girl.

If this is correct, press one.

Why don't you just tell me

the name of the movie
you selected?

That couple is breaking up.

That couple is breaking up.

They're breaking up?

How do you know?
She reads lips.

Oh, my God.

I... I just had a great idea.

She could come
to the party tomorrow

and read Gwen's lips for me.

What?

We bring her to the party,

and she tells me
what Gwen is saying about me.

She's not a novelty act, George,

She's not a novelty act, George,

that you hire out for weddings
and bar mitzvahs.

GEORGE: Look, it's a
skill, just like juggling.

She probably enjoys
showing it off.

I don't know, George.

I'm not sure about this.
Jerry.

Would you ask her?
Just ask her.

If she says no, case closed.

All right.

Uh, Laura, uh,
George was wondering...

Uh, Laura, uh,
George was wondering...

Sure. I'll do it.

Hey, there.

Um, uh...

Oh, oh, oh.

One mulligatawny, and, um...

What is that right there?
Is that lima bean?

Yes.

Never been a big fan.

[COUGHS]

Um...

You know what?

Has anyone ever told you

you look exactly like Al Pacino.

You know, Scent of a Woman.

You know, Scent of a Woman.

Hoo-ah! Hoo-ah!

[LAUGHS]

Very good. Very good.

You know something?
Hm?

No soup for you!

What?

Come back, one year.

Kramer, I've been reviewing
your work.

Quite frankly, it stinks.

Well, I, uh...

I've been having trouble
at home, and, uh...

I mean, you know,
I'll work harder.

Nights, weekends,
whatever it takes.

No. No, I don't think
that's going to do it.

No. No, I don't think
that's going to do it.

Uh...

These reports you handed in,
it's almost as if

you have no business training
at all.

I don't know
what this is supposed to be.

Well, I'm, uh,
just trying to get ahead.

Well, I'm sorry.

There's just no way
that we could keep you on.

But I don't even
really work here.

That's what makes this
so difficult.

I will never understand people.

They're the worst.



[♪]

"Why do they call it Ovaltine?

"The mug is round.

"The jar is round.

"They should call it
Roundtine."

That's gold, Jerry.

Gold!

Stop.

Well, you ladies
look lovely tonight.

Good night, honey.

Good night.

Come on, Uncle Leo, I've seen
the way women look at you.

When's the last time you looked in the mirror?
You're an Adonis.

You're the only one
who's got the good stuff.

And I need it bad, baby.

I feel like I've got bugs
crawling up my skin.

Now, you gotta help me out.

Not on my watch!

I won't have you turning

my office into a den
of iniquity!

my office into a den
of iniquity!

Get your fix somewhere else!
Hey! Hey!

Go on, cretin!

No!

Look at you, you're disgusting.

If there's a woman
that can take your presence

for more than
consecutive seconds,

you should hang onto her
like grim death.

Which is not far off,
by the way.

Tim, do you think you should
be making jokes like that?

Why not?
I'm Jewish, remember?

I know, but...

Jerry, it's our sense of humor

that sustained us as a people
for years.

that sustained us as a people
for years.

Five thousand.

Five thousand. Even better.

Ah. Ah.

Okay.

Crissy,

give me a shtickl of fluoride.

What do you think, I've never
ridden in a Cadillac before?

Believe me, I have ridden in a
Cadillac hundreds of times.

Thousands.

Ah!
Ah!

Ah.

You put the balm on?

Who told you to put the balm on?

I didn't tell you to put it on.
Why'd you put the balm on?

Where'd you get
that damn balm, anyway?

Where'd you get
that damn balm, anyway?

The Maestro.
The who?

Ah-ha. Jerry.

Tonight you in for a real treat.

I'm personally
gonna prepare the dinner

for you and my Audrey.

Hey, Cedric, Bob.
This guy won't wear a ribbon.

Who?! Who doesn't want
to wear the ribbon?

Who?! Who doesn't want
to wear the ribbon?

Hello, Jerry.
May I come in?

Perhaps there's more to Newman
than meets the eye.

No, there's less.

Hello, Mrs. Seinfeld.

[FLATLY]
Hello, Newman.

Excellent.

Excellent.

I've looked into his eyes.

He's pure evil.

He's pure evil.

All right. All right.

All right, you go ahead.

You go ahead,
you keep it secret.

But you remember this:

When you control the mail,

you control information.

NEWMAN:
♪ Yes, you're once ♪

♪ Twice ♪

♪ Three times... ♪

[SCREAMING]

Oh, the humanity!

[PHONE RINGS]

GEORGE [ON MACHINE]: ♪ Believe
it or not George isn't at home ♪


GEORGE [ON MACHINE]: ♪ Believe
it or not George isn't at home ♪


♪ Please leave a message
At the beep ♪


♪ I must be out
Or I'd pick up the phone ♪


♪ Where could I be? ♪

♪ Believe it or not
I'm not home ♪


[MACHINE BEEPS]

It's funny, George.

You don't know how you're
really feeling about something

until a person
like you comes along

and articulates it so perfectly.

[SNORTS]
Articulate?

[SNORTING]

[CHUCKLES, SNORTS]

[SCOFFING]

Egh.

Egh.

Blah.
Vvvv.

Vvvv.
[GULPS]

Oh.

Ca.
Huh?

What? Ah.
Ca.

Lithe.
Live?

Lithe. Lithe.
Live?

Oh, right, right, right,
right, right.

[HONKS]
[KRAMER CHITTERING]

Geh-geh-geh.

[CRACKLING]

Ugh.

No. No. No. No. No.

Oh, yeah!

Aha!

Ah-ahh.

All right. All right.
All right!

All right. All right.
All right!

George, Marla.
Marla.

George.
Jerry, Stacy.

Jerry.
Stacy. George, Stacy.

Stacy.
George.

George.

Jerry.

Marla. Stacy.

Newman.
Jerry.

Elaine.
George.

Newman.
Jerry.

Kramer. Whatley.

Newman.
Jambalaya.

Are we finished?
Done.

[♪]

So you're still master
of your domain?

Yes. Yes, I am.

But I will tell you this:

I am going over to her apartment

and I'm telling her
to put those shades down.

Wait, wait.
What did you just say?

I can't take it anymore.
She's driving me crazy.

I can't sleep,
I can't leave the house.

Or I'm here,
I'm climbing the walls.

Meanwhile, I'm dating a
virgin, I'm in this contest.

Something's gotta give.

[♪]

He took it out.

He took it out.

He what?

He took...

[BLOWS]

...it out.

What are you doing to yourself?

I can't stop.
Oh.

Alex thinks I'm naturally
hairless.

What?
You can't keep this up.

Don't you know
what's gonna happen?

Every time you shave it,
it's gonna come in

thicker and fuller and darker.

Oh, that's an old wives' tale.

Is it? Look at this.

Is it? Look at this.

What...? What is that?

Jerry, look at it!

Look at it!

Aha.

Could it be because you don't
want him to know

that you have a friend
who pees in the shower?

No, that's not it.
Oh, I think it is.

I think that's exactly
what it is!

Why couldn't you just wait?

I was there!
I saw a drain!

Since when is a drain a toilet?

It's all pipes!
What's the difference?

Different pipes go
to different places.

I'll call a plumber right now!

I'll call a plumber right now!

All right, could we just drop
all the pee-pipe stuff here?

Okay!

Hyah.

[HUMMING]

[HORSE SNORTS]

What is that?

I-I think it's the horse.

I-I think it's the horse.

Oh, my God.

Hey, how's everything?
You need anything?

I can't...
I can't take this.

We can't breathe back here.

Rusty!

Rusty!

So we're gonna make
the post office

pay for my new stereo now?

It's a write-off for them.

How is it a write-off?

They just write it off.

Write it off what?

Write it off what?

Jerry, all these big companies,
they write off everything.

You don't even know
what a write-off is.

Do you?

No, I don't.

But they do.

And they're the ones
writing it off.

I like sports. I could do
something in sports.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

In what capacity?

You know,

like the general manager
of a baseball team.

Something like that.
: : , --] : : ,
Yeah, well,
that can be tough to get.
: : , --] : : ,
Well, it doesn't even have
to be the general manager.

Maybe I could be, like, an announcer.
Like a color man.

You know how I always make

those interesting comments
during the game.

Yeah.
Yeah, you make good comments.

So, what about that?

Well, you know,

they tend to give those jobs
to ex-ballplayers

they tend to give those jobs
to ex-ballplayers

and people that are,
you know, in broadcasting.

Well, that's really not fair.

I know.

And I'll tell you another
thing, Cosmo Kramer, whatever.

The kissing thing is over.
There's no more kissing.

And I don't care
what the consequences are.

[♪]

[MEN LAUGHING, SHOUTING]
: : , --] : : ,
[LAUGHING] Kramer, what
the hell is going...?

[LAUGHING]
Jerry, come on, man!

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

My b... Come on.

MAN:
Are you in?!

What, are you kidding?

You see those ladies
I got showing?

You think they're scared?

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[CREW MURMURING]

Oh, man, you're k*lling me.

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[CREW LAUGHS]

Oh, forget it.

Julia's still laughing.

MAN:
Okay.

[CREW LAUGHING]

There's no point in going.
Julia's laughing.

No, I'm not.

MAN:
Okay, can we go?

No. She's laughing. Right now.
Yes. Yes.

We can go.
MAN: Okay.

We can go.
MAN: Okay.

Go ahead, waste the film.
Waste everyone's time.

MAN: Okay, here we go.
All right.

And action.

[LAUGHING]

[♪]
: : , --] : : ,
Kasha?

[LAUGHING]

[♪]

Hello.

What are you doing here?

I don't know.

Are you telling me there's
not one condo available

in all of Del Bofa...
Del... Del Boca Vista?

MORTY:
That's right.

In all of Del... Del...
Del Vista...

Del Boca Visto?

In all of Del Besta Bicko?

MORTY:
That's right.

In all of Del Visto Becko?

Hey.

You ought to come over.

Tonight's pipe night.

[LAUGHING]

No, thanks.

Wha...?

Wha...?

[LAUGHING]
Come on.

W-what happened to your face?

It looks like an old
catcher's mitt.

[LAUGHING]

It's... It's all that s...

Come on.

[LAUGHING]
What did you expect?

You...
Huh?

What?

Y-your teeth are all brown.

No.

No.

Look away, I'm hideous.

[GREEN DAY'S "GOOD RIDDANCE"
PLAYING]

♪ Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road ♪


♪ Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go ♪


♪ So make the best of this test
And don't ask why ♪


♪ So make the best of this test
And don't ask why ♪


♪ It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time ♪


♪ It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right ♪


♪ I hope you had
The time of your life ♪


♪ So take the photographs And
still frames in your mind ♪


♪ Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time ♪


♪ Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial ♪


♪ Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial ♪


♪ For what it's worth
It was worth all the while ♪


♪ It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right ♪


♪ I hope you had
The time of your life ♪


♪ It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right ♪


♪ I hope you had
The time of your life ♪


♪ It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right ♪


♪ I hope you had
The time of your life ♪


Well...

See ya.

[♪]

Okay, where's my boy?

Oh, my God.

My George isn't clever enough
to hatch a scheme like this.

You got that right.

What the hell does that mean?

[LAUGHING]

What the hell does that...?
[LAUGHING]

Oh. Come on. Okay.
Let's go, let's go.

That means whatever the hell
you want it to mean.

That means whatever the hell
you want it to mean.

You're saying
you want a piece of me?

[LAUGHING]

You saying you want a piece
of me?

[LAUGHING]

[QUIETLY]
Can you say it one more time?

You saying you want a piece
of me?

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

You want a piece of me?!

You got it!

[♪]
Aah!
Post Reply