06x02 - Westward Ho!: Part 2

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Happy Days". Aired: January 15, 1974 – July 19, 1984.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


Set during the 1950's, the series revolves around teenager Richie and his family who owns a hardware store and Fonzie, who would eventually become Richie's best friend.
Post Reply

06x02 - Westward Ho!: Part 2

Post by bunniefuu »

Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.

And welcome to the
seventh annual Bar A rodeo!

Sanctioned by the Colorado
County Cattleman's Association,

who's also provided
all the prize money.

Here's some
Western jokes, Howie.

They're gold. Don't ruin 'em.

Oh... Thanks, Ralph.

And, uh, now, on with the rodeo!

Leading off the parade
is Marion Cunningham,

doing some tricks
on a dancing horse.

And now entering the arena

is a chuck wagon.

"Speaking of chuck wagons,

"did you hear the one
about the drunken cowboy

"who went up to the
chuck wagon chef and said

"he hadn't had a bite
to eat in three days,

so the chef bit him?"

Oh, boy, this is exciting.

Yippe-yi! Yippee-ay!

Yippee-o! Yippee-u!

I know all the yippees.

- Let's give the fans a thrill, Al.
- Okay.

- Giddyup!
- Look out, Rich!

Uh, oh. Whoa! Whoa!

- Oh, hold the horses.
- Hold the...

Are you gonna make it?

Oh, man!

And now entering the
arena is a young lady

representing one of the most
famous of Western women,

Annie Oakley.

Thank you, Annie Oakley.

And button your shirt.

Uh, gold helped settle the
West as thousands of prospectors

flooded the area in
search of easy money

and stayed to
become solid citizens.

The prospector's means

of transportation was
the ever-faithful burro.

"This burro's name is

"Manhattan, and he
has four brothers...

Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens
and Staten Island."

I'm gonna k*ll you, Ralph.

He's tarnishing my gold, Pots.

Whoa! Whoa!

Oh, yeah!

Fonzie!

It's rodeo time,
ladies and gentlemen.

And the first event
is bronco busting.

In one corner, Thunder McCoy!

Now, look, Thunder,
you don't have to do this.

Aw, it's fun.

Besides, every penny I
win goes to your Uncle Ben.

See you, Richie!

Outside!

There goes a real human being.

Go, Thunder! Go, Thunder!

Come on, Thunder! Ride him!

A beautiful ride,
ladies and gentlemen.

Aw... Fun, huh, Rich?

Yup, this is the life.

The great outdoors,
roping, wrangling.

Kind of makes you want
to enter it, doesn't it?

Are you nuts, Rich?

Hey, Joanie.

- Hey, Rich.
- Hiya, Phil. What you doing?

Well, I want to make
sure I get a good seat.

The girl trick riders
are coming up.

I really dig girl trick riders.

Oh, what a coincidence.

I'm gonna enter
the trick riding.

Oh, brother.

But I just taught you
how to ride yesterday.

Oh, but you're
such a good teacher.

Kids.

Kids in the West.

Yee-haw!

Ride 'em, cowboy!

I'm gonna bust this bronco.

I'm gonna wear you out!

Yee-haw!

I think I'm ready
to try it, Pots.

Yeah. Too bad they don't
have an event for this thing.

You're real good.

I'll tell you something, Pots...

bronco riding's all a matter
of timing, skill and courage.

Right.

You don't have
any of those things.

Pots, let's get
on up to the corral

and see if we can
rustle us up some fillies.

Couldn't we find us
some girls instead?

Just kidding.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I
direct your attention to Diablo?

For the fourth consecutive
year, the Cattleman's Association

is offering $ ,

to the first person who
can ride this k*ller bull.

And the offer is good

for the duration of Diablo's
stay at the Bar A Ranch.

And now, the next contestant...

the next contestant is Billy
Jenkins from the Lazy Bar Ranch.

"Jenkins has roped many a calf.

That's how he met Mrs. Jenkins."

That's my dad.

Yeah, it is.

Oh, Howie, I should
have done the joke.

Sure, Malph.

Oh.

It's roundup time.

Not bad, huh?

Whoa.

Arthur, are you going to
enter any of these events?

Mrs. C., I have
set lots of records

outside the rodeo arena.

Hi.

Boy, it's going great, isn't it?

Dad, those jokes you're
doing... very funny.

It must have been the delivery.

I see your cowgirl is
doing just great out there.

Fonz, she's not my cowgirl.

Is that a fact?

I can't believe it.
You're getting all riled up

just because we
took a walk together!

I'll tell you something,
Carrot. I ain't riled!

Ladies, please.

Attention, ladies and gentlemen.

We have a challenger to
ride Diablo, the k*ller bull.

It's Hank Plunket.

Hank Plunket from H.
R. Buchanan's ranch.

And I have, right
here in my hand,

a certified check for $ , ,

if Hank can stay
on for eight seconds.

Poor Uncle Ben.

That's why he tried to ride
the bull... to win the $ , .

Well, Uncle Ben always
went for the easy buck.

Is that a joke, Howard?

Watch the bull, Marion.

You've got to ride
this Diablo, Hank.

Those dudes, at the Bar,

the Bar A Ranch, are
winning prize money.

I don't like that.

- All righty, boss.
- All right.

I'm here to give this
gentleman a hand.

Is the rope tight?

Oh, don't worry, sonny.

I checked it myself.

I don't trust a boy
doing a man's job.

You're all set, Hank.

All right, here we go.

- All set.
- Open the chute!

Good luck!

Oh!

Uh...

The time on that... one second!

Time sure flies when
you're having fun, doesn't it?

And now for the
trick riding event.

And the first contestant
will be Joanie Cunningham

from the Bar A Ranch.

I-I just hope she doesn't
try anything too tricky.

- Do you know what you're doing?
- Yeah!

"Yeah!" That's what you said

just before you fell off that
bicycle, remember that?

And this is a lot
taller than a bicycle.

Aw, sit on it, Rich.

You just make
sure you sit on it.

I will.

I told you to sit on it!

- Is she all right?
- Yes.

That's our daughter, folks, huh?

Oh, Joanie, I didn't
know you could trick ride.

Trick ride?!

I was riding no
hands and slipped.

The whole time I was trying

to get back on the
horse... I tell you.

Oh... It was nothing, nothing.

All in a day's ride.

Hey, Joanie, that
was really something.

Yeah.

Ah, well, you're
such a good teacher.

Oh, yeah? Come on, I'll
help you wipe the horse down.

Oh...!

See you, folks.

"Oh, you're such
a good teacher."

- I don't know why she...
- Don't say anything, Marion.

You used the same
line on me in high school.

- I never did.
- Oh, yes, you did.

I was getting C's in biology
and you were getting A's

and you asked me to help you.

You just never forget a
thing, do you, Howard?

Oh, howdy, ma'am.

This is a nice
rodeo, Cunningham.

It's too bad I'll be
running it next year.

Oh, yeah?

Same to you, sidewinder.

Same to you? That doesn't
make any sense, Marion.

Will you just announce
the rodeo, Howard?

Okay, folks, on with
our Western Jamboree.

♪ Hear the crowd ♪

♪ Giving spirit to the cowboy ♪

♪ How they love
the fighting cowboy ♪

♪ Teamed against
a stronger foe ♪

♪ Town to town ♪

♪ Always wishing
he could stay awhile ♪

♪ And always looking
for a friendly smile ♪

♪ He don't like to be alone ♪

♪ Listen for the rodeo ♪

♪ This is where you
will find the quiet hero ♪

♪ Listen for the rodeo ♪

♪ This is where you will
find the joy and sorrow ♪

♪ The joy and sorrow ♪

♪ At the rodeo ♪

♪ The rodeo ♪

♪ The rodeo. ♪

Ladies and gentlemen, competing

in the final event of the
day... Thunder McCoy.

- That, look at that! Terrific!
- Fantastic, Thunder!


Boy, that was
fast. That's great.

Great!

Oh, a good time,
ladies and gentlemen...

Ten and a half seconds.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the official judges have
picked as the overall winner

our own wrangler, Thunder McCoy.

Well?

Ah, it's coming along just fine.

Oh, great.

Maybe sometime tomorrow night.

All right, then let's just
serve something else.

Well, we still got the beans.

Well, serve them, Alfred.

You've done a wonderful
job disguising the beans.

Aw, thank you.

Uh, Mom... Mom, look,

the guests are
not gonna like this.

I mean, especially after lunch.

Bean kabob.

They're not gonna
like not eating, either.

Hey!

It just passed medium raw.

Maybe I can fix it.

Oh, hey.

Ladies and gentlemen...

in keeping with our
rodeo flavor of the day,

our chef, Alfredo...

has prepared an
authentic cowboy meal

for you all tonight.

More beans.

I'm sure that you're
all gonna enjoy

this simple fare,

so typical of the Old West.

All right, listen up!

Al's trying his best.

In the old days, you
would have had to go out

and trap your own
dinner... Squirrels, skunks...

That's right, pee-yew! Skunks!

You better just be grateful.

Thank you.

You're all much too kind.

Marion, are you sure
these figures are right?

Positive.

Even with the rodeo
money that Thunder won.

At the rate we're going, we're
gonna be $ , or $ , short

when the note comes due.

Well, don't worry about it.

We'll make it.

Dear, this Western air
has made you so forceful.

Yes, it has, hasn't it?

Tell me, has it done
anything for you?

Uh, maybe.

Oh, uh, I'm going
out and watch the, uh,

deer and the antelope play.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah...

I'll see you later
at the pool, okay?

Oh, I love your flower.

Don't forget.

Oh... the hunk loves me.

The hunk loves me not.

The hunk loves me.

The hunk loves me not.

Howdy.

Well, hello there, young fella.

You see, I told you
that I smelled something,

but I thought it was a
rotten banana, you know?

It's you.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I just came by to
remind you all that there's just

hours left before I,
uh, throw you off the ranch.

Well, I just want to remind you

that we still have a day.

And we may make it.

Uh-huh.

Not bad for a bunch
of dudes, huh, bucko?

Uh...

do me a favor, okay?

Don't "young man"
me again, all right?

It gives me a rash.

Yeah, sure.

I like to leave with a bang.

Hey, what's happening?

- Help!
- Grab the reins, Joanie.

Help!

She can't! They're trailing!

Help! Mom, Dad, help!

Hurry! I'm afraid!

I didn't know she
was in the wagon.

I didn't even see her.

- No kidding.
- Oh!

I didn't see you either.

Come on, Red, let's go.

Oh, my goodness.

Hold onto your hat.

Oh, boys, catch her.

Hurry! Please!

Help! Help me!

Somebody help me.

I can't reach the reins!

Help! Help me!

Help! Help!

Stop! Please, stop!

Please, Fonzie,
Richie, rescue me!

Help! Help!

Mom, Dad, help!

Hurry! I'm afraid!

Stop! Please stop!

Please, Fonzie,
Richie, rescue me!

Help! Help me!

We're gaining on 'em!

Good, Fonz! Just keep me posted!

Fonzie, Richie, help me!

I can't get the reins!

Help me!

Fonzie, Richie, get up here!

I can't... Help me, Richie!

Watch out, watch
out for the wheel!

Hold on, Cunningham!

Why?

You don't want to know.

Fonzie, watch out for the ditch!

Aayyh!

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
Post Reply