06x27 - Potsie Quits School

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Happy Days". Aired: January 15, 1974 – July 19, 1984.
Set during the 1950's, the series revolves around teenager Richie and his family who owns a hardware store and Fonzie, who would eventually become Richie's best friend.
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06x27 - Potsie Quits School

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes,
my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Share them with me I
- S Oh, baby a'

♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling
all week long ♪

(organ solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Happy and free I
- S Oh, baby a'

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days!

(band playing)

(song ends)

- One more time!

No more times.

Okay, thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.

That's it. Good-bye.
So long.


We've still got two hours left
to study.

Guys, guys,
what is this, "Bye-bye."

I mean, you're through playing?

It's not even : .

Al, I'm sorry, we've got to cram
for our final exams.

That's just the way
the burger burns, Al.

Al, Al, Al.

Al, cheer up.

I don't have any exams
this week. I can still play.

Chachi, people don't want
to dance to a drumbeat.

They want to hear
a horn tooting,

guitar twangings,
piano tinklings.

Don't worry.

Al, I can make
these drum skins sing.

Okay, look, look.

You pay me a buck for the snare,

- cents for the cymbals...
- Chachi, Chachi, Chachi.

People want to hear
the jukebox.

The jukebox?

Al, people want live music,

You gotta try new ideas,
you know what I mean?

Look, Al, I bet
you're the type of guy

that would've told
Elvis Presley not to wiggle.

Well, how's it going,
Lori Beth?

I have the notes organized,
a schedule for studying

and planned rest breaks
to make out.

She really shines during finals.

All right, I've got the maps
for the history test.

Malph, we don't need a map
to find the classroom.

I'll help Potsie
with the anatomy exam.

Couldn't we just go to
Inspiration Point, instead?

Potsie, now, how do you expect
to learn anatomy

at Inspiration Point?

They're so young.

Come on, Potsie,
we've got to hurry.

Oh, hey, Jenny, what's the use?

I'm going to flunk anatomy

Listen, it's a required course.

You have to pass if you want
to be a psychologist.

Yeah, well, I've been thinking
about that psychology stuff

and maybe it's just
a crazy idea, huh?

HOWARD: Why is it
the Chinese restaurants

always put soup
on the bottom of the bag?

Joanie, would you get
your father a napkin?

Sure, Mom.

He has sparerib juice
on his hands.

Oh, yes.

I'm home.

Joanie, I heard report cards
came out today.

Well, how'd you do?

Well, I got an "A" and a "B"
and three "C"s.

You got an "A"?

- Gym.
- Ah.

Well, when are you gonna tell
Mom and Dad?

Well, I figure a good time
would be

somewhere between the fried rice
and my wedding reception.


I'll try and help.

I don't want you to get grounded
or anything.

Thanks. I'm going to need
your help, big brother.

There's a big dance coming up
this Saturday night.

- I'll do what I can.
- Okay.

Dinner is served.

- Yeah, it looks good.
- Sit down.

Here, Dad.

You can have my spareribs.

I'm not that hungry.

You're not hungry for spareribs?

Joanie, are you sure you're
feeling all right, dear?

Mom, I'm fine.

The girl knows
her own mind, Marion.

Well, uh, actually,

- I have an announcement
to make. -Hmm?

Report cards came out today.

How did you do, dear?

- I got an
- That's great, Joanie.

Yeah. Thanks.

Oh. Yeah.

Isn't that great, Dad?

I don't want to hear
what she got in gym.

All right, young lady,
about those grades.

(doorbell rings)

HOWARD: Come in.

- Hi, everybody.
- Hi.

All right, all right.

Am I ready
to study tonight, Mrs. C.

Get out the midnight oil.

It's gonna be an all-nighter.

Ooh, you're having Chinese food.

Confucius say, "Man who study
anatomy needs sparerib."

Howard Cunningham say,
"Bug off."

Good saying.

Yeah, well, let's study
upstairs, okay?

- Yeah. -Yeah, this is going
to be a hard test.

Yeah. Where's Potsie?

Oh, well, he said
he'd be here, right?

- Right.
- Yeah, he'll be here.

Don't worry about Potsie.
He'll be fine.

Can I sit down and have a...

- Go study. -Go study.
- Go study.

Now, young lady,
about that report card.

(doorbell rings)

Come in.

- Hi, Potsie.
- Hi, Potsie.

Hi, everybody.

Warren, would you like something
to eat?

Uh, no, thanks, Mrs. C.

I'm really too depressed to eat.

Maybe one sparerib.

Well, listen now,
you go upstairs.

The kids are studying
and they'll help you.

Aw, thanks a lot.

- Uh...
- Oh, here, here, put it here.

Oh, thanks, Mr. C.

Poor Warren.

Poor Daddy.

Now, young lady, about that...

Good, nobody's there.

Now, about that report card.

Hold it, everybody!


The brakes on my bike broke.

I had to stop
with my bare feet.


Looks like you're gonna need
another pair of boots, Fonz.

You're very observant,

Oh, Arthur, don't you have
an extra pair of boots?

Yeah, I've got an extra
pair of boots.

I lent them to
the Hooper triplets

and they, er, uh--
they like leather...

It's a long story.

I gotta go, Shortcake.
You're cute.

Well, first thing
in the morning,

I'm going to call this man who
sells the best boots in town.

FONZIE: What's his name?

Mr. Rudi.

I think I'm in trouble.

(Snaps fingers)

Now about that report card.

You know, Emily Snodgrass
got two "F"s and...

I don't care what
Emily Snodgrass got.

I only care about my daughter.

Now, it's not easy to get into
a good college these days

and "C"s won't do it.

Well, she's trying, dear.

I really am trying, Dad.

Well, you're going to have
to try harder.

Well, maybe I don't want
to go to college.

You know, it's my own life.

Well, you'd better change
your attitude, young lady,

or your life is going to stay
home for the weekend.

(indistinct conversations)

(playing harmonica)

Hmm, will you look
at that Bunny Martel?


I'd sell my grandmother
to the Huns to go out with her.

Ralph, you are all talk
and no action.

Go over there and ask her out.

I mean, what's the worst thing
a girl can do to you?

Well, so far, the worst
was a compound fracture.

Just do it, will you?

(plays a few notes)

Well, how's my hair look?

Fine, fine.

For the kind of hair you got.

I'm kidding!

I'm just kidding, go over
and ask her. Go ahead.

Hi, there.

Nice sweater.
Want to go to a movie?

No, thank you.

Want to go to dinner?

No, thank you.

Want to go bowling?

No, thank you.

It was nice talking to you.

- How'd it go?
- It's working.

I'll tell you about it later.

Hey, girls.

- Hi, Ralph.
- Hi, Ralph.

You ladies read the assignment?

Three times.

No way Professor Thomas
is going to stump me.

Me, neither.

That man scares me to death.

You hear that, Rich?

The Professor scares them.


Girls, girls...

Sit, Malph.

Yes, sir.
Sitting, sir.

Yes, sir, sir, sir.

Straighten your chair.

Where's Potsie?

RICHIE (whispering):
Look, there's Potsie.

(students whispering)



It wasn't me!

- Ah, Weber, of course.
- Yes, sir.

Late and noisy.

Well, I'm sorry.
I overslept.

I was studying all night long.


We'll see about that later.

Right now, you're wasting
the class's time.


The right ventricle

is stationed just below where?




Oh, uh... wh-what, sir?

Where is the right ventricle?

Uh, it is positioned, uh,

directly beneath
the right auricle.

(talking over each other)

You merely answered
the question correctly.

You didn't win a Nobel Prize.

RALPH (laughing):
Nobel Prize...


No Nobel Prize, sir.


Yes, sir?

Where is the aorta situated?


You don't know, do you?

I'm thinking.

You don't know, do you?!

- I do, I studied it, I know it.
- Uh-huh.

- What is a ventricle?
- Ventricle is a...

- What is a capillary?
- Washington.


You don't belong
in this classroom, Weber!

You are a rotten apple

affecting the whole bunch.

Oh, it's going to give me
great pleasure

to give you a big, fat zero

on your examination tomorrow.

(students exclaiming)

Hey... hey, you wait a minute.

I'm tired of getting picked on.

And you know something else?

You're a rotten teacher.

Potsie, sit down.

Just forget it, Rich.

I don't have to take this
from him or anybody else.

You're going to get
kicked out of this class.

No, I'm not going
to get kicked out,

'cause I'm going to quit school.


That's what I'm gonna do.

I quit school!

Hi, hi, hi.

- Hey, Al.
- Hi, Al. -Hi, All.

Did Potsie go back
to school yet?

No. We've all talked to him.

He won't change his mind.

He's really making
a big mistake,

don't you think, Al?

Oh, poor Potsie.

It's a cruel world out there

and he's not ready for it.


ALL: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's right. Yeah, yeah...

All right, all right.

Let's get back to studying.


Hey, Richie. Come here.

Walk me to my office.

All right. Uh...

What can I do for you, Fonz?

Walk me to my office
and stick close.



Fonz, you're...

wearing paper sacks
on your feet.

That's right, I'm wearing
paper sacks on my feet!

Anybody want to say
anything about it?

No, Fonz, they look real good.

That's right,
they look real good.

As a matter of fact,

you could do yourself
a favor and get a pair.

Hey, Rich, do me a favor.

If a, uh, a man comes in here,
Mr. Rudi, you know,

tell him I'm in my office.

Yeah, sure, Fonz.

Oh, Fonz, I-l almost forgot
to tell you something.

Have you heard about Potsie?

No, I haven't heard
about Potsie.

He quit school.

You want me to hit him?

Well, no, Fonz,

but you know,
he respects you so much...

- Yeah.
-...l thought maybe if you just

talked to him for
a few minutes...

Come on, Potsie.

Nothing's going to help, Chach.

- Why?
- Come on, Chach...

I found him at
the unemployment office.

Potsie, you cannot
collect unemployment.

Why not? I'm unemployed.

Potsie... in my office,
conference time.

- Fonz, it's not gonna help...
- No backtalk.

- Get in there.
- Conference time, come on, Pots.

It's good for you.

Oh, uh, are you Mr. Fonzarelli?



I wish I was.

That's him over there with
the paper bags on his feet.

Oh. (chuckles)

Ah, Mr. Fonzarelli.

I am Mr. Rudi...

"Boots for Every Occasion."

I came just in time.

All right.
You talk... you boot.

Fonz, I'm gonna flunk anatomy.

What's the problem?

I've got this mental block...

Yeah, I know that.
What's the problem?

Trés chic.

You see a horse out there?

I heard "whoa.".

Here, here...
let's take them off.

I like a boot man
with a sense of humor.

(Rudi chuckles)

All right, now look, what do
you got to know about anatomy?

The heart's on the left side.

Look, Fonz, you know,
I do great in school,

but this professor hates me.

So before he could flunk me,
I quit.

Okay, that's ridiculous.

Listen to this logic...

one spark plug goes bad,

you don't throw away
the whole car.

But, Fonz,
it's these anatomy words.

I can't remember them.

Ventri... ventra... ventri...

That's "ventricle."

See, he knows it.

He knows it.

It's that professor.

He drives me nuts.
He intimidates me.

I've got it.

These boots are you.


Now look, Potsie,

you do very well
in school, right?


So why can't you learn
this stuff, anatomy?

Look, I don't care
about learning it.

Fonz, all I want
is a decent grade.

See, there's your problem,

Grades are not cool,
learning is cool.

Now you got to relate to it,
you got to relate to it.

What is the easiest thing
for you to remember?

I forget.

I'm going to tell you... music!

Yeah, sure. I remember songs.

What good's that going to do me?

Warren, you're going to sing
your way through science.


I think I'll take these.

- You'll take these?
- You'll take these?

Yeah. I can use them
for my bike reflectors.

I write small.

How about a little kiss
for luck, Sizzle Lips?

Better just shake hands.

I gotta keep my...
my mind clear for this exam.

Fonz, Fonz,
I don't feel so good.

My stomach's in knots.

I got you covered. Here.

Two Fig Newtons.

One for now, one for later.

Hey, thanks, Fonz.

Hey, Prof, take it easy
on these kids.

I mean, they're our future.

would you be so kind?

Oh. Yes, sir.

Pass these out.

Today's test

will be on the heart

and the circulatory system.


Anyone who does not
know the difference

between an artery and a vein

may as well leave now.

Sit, Malph.

You have exactly minutes.

(Ralph wails)


(blows pitch pipe)

(humming very quietly)


(timer rings)


Pencils down, please.

Pass your papers forward.

Come on, Rich...

I got it, I...

- Ah!
-(Richie grunts)

Ralph, how do you think
Potsie did?

I don't know about him,

but I had trouble
with the sample question.

- Mr. Weber.
- Yes, sir?

I noticed you finished
quite early.

Oh, thanks, sir.

Did you find the test so easy?

Oh, yes, sir.

No, sir, no,
not easy, sir... uh-uh.

- Here, Professor.
- Here, Professor.

Uh, anything else?
Wash the blackboard?

Maybe I could clear
your desk off for you.

Sit, girls.


I have here Mr. Weber's paper.


I'm sure you all remember

that someone called me
a terrible teacher.

It was "rotten teacher."


Maybe... maybe it was

Well, rather than, uh,
me calling names,

why don't we let
Mr. Weber's paper

speak for itself?

(students murmuring)


he answered
the first one correct.

(students cheering, shrieking)

Beginner's luck.

Something is wrong here,
Mr. Weber.

You've answered...

all of the questions correct.


(students cheering)

I got o!

You got a zero!

- What?
- A zero?

Why would you give him a zero?

You just told him
he got all the answers right.

He cheated.
He must've cheated!

I didn't cheat.
I studied all night.

I really studied hard.

My boy don't cheat.

Who are you?

Weber's trainer.



He cheated.

He's a disgrace
to this entire university.

Listen, I didn't cheat.
I really st...

My boy is not
a disgrace anywhere.

I'll tell you
who's a disgrace, bucko.

I just got to warn you,

when he starts off with "bucko,"

you're in trouble.

Potsie Weber knows this material

better than anybody
in this class.

And he didn't learn it from you

or your intimidating methods.

He learned it from
something he could relate to.

Weber can relate to something?

- Now, just a minute! I don't...
- Yeah, that's right.

He relates to music and lyrics.

- Yeah.
-(Thomas laughs)


But impossible.

(talking over each other)

All right, hold it, hold it!

Like they say in Home Ec. ,

the proof is in the pudding.

- Yeah, let us show you
some pudding. -Come on.

Right. Let him show you.

Why don't you give him a chance?

Go ahead.

All right, now,
like we rehearsed it.

- Malph, get the bones.
- Got it.

All right, Rich,
you got your harmonica there.

Hey, Jennifer, beaker, right?

Got your kazoo there.


All right.

This tune is called
"Pump Your Blood."

One, two, one, two, three...

♪ Pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump, pump ♪

♪ Pump, pump, pump, pump I

Pump, pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump, pump, pump, pump '

♪ Pump, Pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump, pumps your blood ♪

♪ The right atrium's
where the process begins ♪

♪ Where the C blood
enters the heart ♪

♪ Through the tricuspid valve ♪

♪ To the right ventricle ♪

♪ The pulmonary artery
and lungs ♪

♪ Once inside the lungs,
it dumps its carbon dioxide ♪

♪ And picks up
its oxygen supply ♪

♪ Then it's back to the heart
through the pulmonary vein ♪

♪ Through the atrium
and left ventricle ♪

♪ Pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump, pump ♪

♪ Pump, pump, pump, pump I

T Pump, pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump, pump, pump, pump T

♪ Pump, Pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump, pumps your blood ♪

♪ Pump, pump, pump, pump I

♪ Pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump, pump ♪

T Pump, pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump, pump, pump, pump T

♪ Pump, Pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump, pumps your blood ♪

♪ The aortic valve's where
the blood leaves the heart ♪

♪ And it's channeled
to the rest of the bod ♪

♪ The arteries, arterioles
and capillaries, too ♪

♪ Bring the oxygenated
blood to the cells ♪

♪ The tissues and the cells
trade off waste and C ♪

♪ Which is carried through
the venules and the veins ♪

♪ Through the larger vena cava
to the atrium and lungs ♪

♪ And we're back to where
we started in the heart ♪

♪ Pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump, pump ♪

♪ Pump, pump, pump, pump I

T Pump, pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump, pump, pump, pump T

♪ Pump, Pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump, pumps your blood ♪

♪ Pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump, pump ♪

♪ Pump, pump, pump, pump I

T Pump, pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump, pump, pump, pump T

♪ Pump, Pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump, pumps your blood ♪

♪ Yee-haw! ♪

(all cheering)

(Thomas laughing)

It's like being in
the Ziegfeld Follies.

(all laughing)

Well, Professor?

Weber, I apologize.


I'm giving you an



Mom! Dad!

Potsie got an "A"
on the anatomy exam.

- Oh, that's terrific.
- An "A,"-- oh, that's wonderful!

Yeah. I passed.

I knew you would.

I got an "AI"

Give him a quarter, Howard.



Oh, Dad, I was thinking.

About Joanie's dance...

I mean, don't you think
you're being just a little bit

hard on her, not letting
her go and everything?

He's only doing it because
he loves her very much

and he cares about her future.

Now, look,
I have made up my mind

and there'll be
no more arguments.

I'm glad you're here,
young lady.

About your report card
and the dance Saturday night...

files'; was”
yes? '

Have a nice time.


I'm so glad
I have a dad that cares.

Well, I know that
you've been trying hard

and keeping you home
Saturday night

isn't going to help
your grades any.

Well, I guess
I won't need these.

I found them in the attic.

Oh, these are your father's
old high school report cards.


four "C"s!

Let me see that.

Well, I, uh...
I did get an "A" in gym.

You can go out tonight.

Thank you.

♪ These happy days are yours
and mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and rollin'
all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Share them with me I
- S Oh, baby a'

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
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