03x07 - Best Friends

[bunniefuu]

Wow! You built these yourself,
Cherie?

Yeah, I had to eat two hundred
and eighty three popsicles,

one hundred and thirty nine
fudgesicles

and one creamsicle.

I hate those.

Well, when you're
a real architect,

your secretary can eat
the creamsicles for you.

He won't mind.

Now, the way I've planned it,

our houses will be
right next to each other.

We'll paint my house grape
and yours lime.

Maybe we should hire
a decorator.

Careful. Uh...

We don't want Desdemona
to go into shock.

I thought this was Irving.

No, Irving fell victim
to mid-life aphids.

- Ah.
- Okay. Here we go.

Easy, easy.

Easy.

Oh!

Well done, Betty.

I must say,

you have a wonderful
flower bedside manner.

Oh, whoa! Oh! Oh.

I'm really sorry, mister.
I'm new around here.

- Oh.
- I guess I took a wrong turn.

I expect full restitution

in the form
of complete reimbursements

for this plant pillage.

Yes, sir.

What does that mean?

It means he's cheap.

I'm Mrs. Johnson.
Welcome to the neighborhood.

Thanks. I'm Donald Sotta.

Hi, I'm Punky,
and you've already met my dad,

Henry Warnimont.

Hi. I'm Cherie.

What a great name.

Thanks. I've had it all my life.

So, Donald,
where were you headed?

Donald?

- Yo, Don!
- Oh! Oh, yeah.

Um, I thought
this was a shortcut

to Goldenhersh's Bakery.

Make a left, a right,
and then follow your nose.

- It's kinda hard to find.
- My nose?

No, the bakery.

Come on, I'll show you.
We'll ride on your bike.

Well, why don't we just walk?
It takes longer.

Sounds good to me.

- Okay, grandma?
- Okay.

Don't worry, I'll pay you back
for that plant.

I have a paper route,
Mr. Weavermint.

That's Warnimont, and you better

or else I'll have
your wages garnisheed.

- Does he always talk like that?
- Mm-hmm.

- Wanton marauder.
- Heh-heh.

Henry, I'm sorry
about dead Demona.

That's dead Begonia.

That's Desdemona.

And she's a philodendron.

Well, who cares
what city she's from!

She's dead.

Boy, that test was tough.

I didn't know the seven wonders
of the world.

Yeah, the only one I got
was Stevie.

Hey, wait a minute, Cherie,
it's Thursday.

We're supposed to watch
"Ralph's Rockin' Out."

I can't today.

Donald invited me to the circus.

Donald?

You're going to the circus
with a boy?

Donald's different.

He's not like the boys
that we know.

Oh, you mean, he doesn't
drink soda through his nose.

So what's so great

about him, anyway?

He's got beautiful white teeth,

big brown eyes

and long luxurious lashes.

Big deal. So does Brandon.

If that was a joke,
I didn't get it.

Well, I've gotta rush
to get ready.

Donald will be here
in just two hours.

"Donald will be here
in just two hours."

Disgusting!

Hi. What are you guys playing?

- Hearts.
- Oh, then deal me in.

You can't play hearts
with just two people.

Yes, you can,
if they're the right two people.

Okay.

So where did you get
those weird cards?

Donny won them for me
at the circus.

Donny?

He pounded that muscle meter

all the way up to Wimp.

Yeah, but I couldn't have
done it without you, Choo-Choo.

Gesundheit!

That wasn't a sneeze.

That's Donny's nickname for me.

Choo-Choo?

That's a pretty silly name.

Gee, I don't think so, Penelope.

So, Donny, Choo-Choo,

how was the circus?

Great.

We got to go backstage

because Donny's father
is a good friend

of the guy that gets
sh*t out of the cannon.

- Wow!
- Yeah.

My dad sold Boom-Boom
his very first hearing aid.

Now I gotta go, Choo-Choo.
It's time for lunch.

Hurry back, Donny,
we don't wanna be late

for "Midget Monster
From Outer Space."

Cherie, you said you were
too scared

to see that movie with me.

Well, this is different.

Donny will be there
to protect me.

- Won't you, Donny?
- Yeah.

Right after I have lunch.

Oh, Donny.

I'll miss you.

I bet I'll miss you
more than you'll miss me.

There's no way
that you can miss me

more than I'm gonna miss you.

I could miss
this whole conversation.

Isn't he rad?

He's okay.

Maybe someday I'll be
Mrs. Donald Sotta.

Cherie Soda?

What's so funny about that?

Come on, Cherie,
look at the way you're acting.

"I'll miss you
more than you'll miss me."

"Oh, there's no way
you can miss me

more than I'll miss you."

And look at you,
you're even wearing his shirt!

Well, that's what you do.

When you really care
about someone, you share things.

I noticed.

We don't share anything anymore.

I mean, I hardly ever see you.

I'm seeing you right now.

That's only because
Donny had to eat lunch.

Some friend you are, Punky.

You should be happy for me
instead of being jealous.

I'm not jealous.

I just don't think
you should dump me,

your best friend,
because you met a boy.

I'm not dumping you.

I tell you everything
Donny and I do.

What about what we do?

Well, we don't do
that much anymore.

No kidding!

We don't do anything anymore.

We were supposed to build
the fence between our...

Wait a minute.

Where's my house?

Ah, right here.

I was gonna tell you.

Was there a tornado
I didn't hear about?

No, we needed the lumber.

Donny wants a rumpus room.

Did Donny say
where I'm supposed to live?

Uh, no.

We figured, since
you're gonna be an astronaut,

you'd be in orbit.

I'd rather live in orbit
than next to you two.

Bad attitude, Punky.

It never really was your house.

Not only did I eat
most of the popsicles,

but I designed it
and I built it.

Fine, you designed it,
you built it

and now you can wear it.

I guess this means
we're not friends anymore.

- Good guess!
- Well, that's fine with me.

That's fine with me, too.

- Fine!
- Fine!

Punky.

How come you're in the house
on such a beautiful day?

Why aren't you outside
playing with Cherie?

I don't play with Cherie
anymore. She's a traitor.

A traitor?

Yeah, she dumped me for a boy.

Oh.

Benedict Arnold, eh?

No! Donald Sotta.

Ah, yes. The plant k*ller.

Anyway, I don't need Cherie.

But, Punky,

you two have always gotten along
so well together.

You have so much in common.

Yeah, well,
sometimes that gets boring.

I want a new best friend,

someone who's nothing at all
like Cherie.

Oh, so you want someone

who's conceited, superficial,

self-centered and obnoxious?

Hello, people. I'm here.

Let the day begin.

Margaux is your best friend?

Oh, so you told him?

Yeah, I couldn't hold back
my excitement.

Mr. Warnimont,
I'm sure you wanna capture

this important moment
in Punky's life

with a best-friend photo.

Why don't you go and get
your little camera?

Good idea, Margaux.

It would give me great pleasure
to sh**t you.

Oh, hi, Betty. Come on in.

Don't you notice
anything different about me?

Yes. You're wearing your tongue
in a different place.

I took Donald and Cherie
to the wrestling match.

We had ringside seats.

And Jake The Snake
fell right in my lap.

How could he miss?

Will you stop
rolling those beady eyes at me?

Boy, are you in a sour mood.

Of course, I am.

Life's been impossible
around here.

Aren't you concerned about
Punky and Cherie's friendship?

Oh, there's nothin'
to worry about.

The girls are just havin'
a little squabble.

No main event.

It's not a little squabble.

Punky has Cherie's picture
up on her dartboard.

Well, maybe
Punky's a little jealous

that Cherie has a boyfriend
and she doesn't.

Punky is not jealous.

Let's face it.

Cherie's been an inconsiderate,

uncaring and disloyal traitor.

And because of
a silly, childish infatuation,

she's thrown away
a trusted friendship

and has done deep psychological
damage to my daughter.

Margaux's gettin' to you, huh?

She's driving me
right up the wall.

These cookies you brought
are pretty good.

I still don't understand
why they call them petticoats.

That's petit fours.

Too late. I already had five.

Oh! Now it's time to pick out
Brandon's fall wardrobe.

Let's see.

He'll look good in mohair.

He has enough hair.

Alright.

How about a fisherman's
cable-knit sweater

in a color that won't clash

with this runt-of-the-litter
red?

Forget it, Margaux.

Brandon's not a clothes hound.

This isn't gonna work out.

Of course, it will.

We'll take him
to Yves St. Bernard.

Or Bird Dog Goodman.

No, I mean,
our being best friends.

I just don't have it in me.

You mean, you don't want me
to be your best friend anymore?

Well, I don't wanna
hurt your feelings.

No, no!

I mean, it wasn't working out
that well for me, either.

What do you mean?

I will never be able to go
to Maharishi's yoga class again.

You shouldn't have called him
Turban Head.

I didn't think he could hear me.
His feet were covering his ears.

This is where
we had the woodpecker problem

last summer.

Boy, what a great place.

What are you two doing here?
The circus leave town?

Ah, I was just showing Donny
our tree house.

It's really great and...

Our tree house?
You mean, my tree house.

And a lot bigger than a...

What do you mean
your tree house?

It's just as much mine
as it is yours.

- Then I thought it would...
- Well...

Maybe back
in the prehistoric Dark Ages

when we used to be friends,
but not anymore.

- Be...
- Oh, yeah?

Yeah!

Come on, Choo-Choo.

We have to go if we wanna
make the baseball game.

Go ahead, Choo-Choo,

you don't wanna keep
Donny waiting.

Donald, I'll meet you later.

I wanna pack up my stuff

and take it
out of her tree house.

Um, but what about
the peanut-butter cookies

you were gonna make for me?

You know I can't watch the game
without 'em.

Well, you'll just have to try.

Just this once. Okay, Donald?

Okay.

I'll be outta here in no time.

Not so fast, sticky fingers.

Cyndi Lauper and Bananarama
are mine.

No way. I positively remember
buying those albums myself.

Yeah, with my money.

Half your money.

I paid for half, too, you know?

Okay.

Then here is your half.

Punky!

Wait! Don't break it.
You can keep it.

Fine.

Here. This is yours, too.

No, it isn't. You're the one
that wears it every Halloween.

Yeah, but you're the one
I borrow it from

every Halloween.

Oh, right.

You might as well keep it.

It always looked better
on you, anyway.

Thanks.

- Cherie!
- Punky!

- Go ahead.
- No, you go.

I was just remembering
the Halloween it rained

and the bottom fell out
of my trick-or-treat bag.

Yeah, wet cr*cker Jacks. Yuck!

Well, you gave me
half of your candy.

Yeah.

Henry would have
never let me eat it all, anyway.

You know, Cherie,

you were my friend
even before I met Henry.

You were the one
that always brought me food

in the empty apartment.

Punky, if it wasn't for you,
I wouldn't be here.

Remember the time I got stuck
in that old refrigerator?

You saved my life.

Cherie...

this is where
we carved our initials

the day we finished building
the tree house.

"P.B., C.J.

Friends forever."

Oh, Punky, I really hate this.

I wish
we could still be friends.

So do I, but I thought
you didn't wanna be my friend.

Well, I thought you didn't
wanna be friends anymore.

Looks like we're both wrong.

I'm sorry.
I've really been acting stupid.

- No, you haven't.
- Yes, I have.

- No, you haven't.
- Yes, I have.

Okay.

But I've been acting stupid,
too.

I shouldn't be jealous
of Donald, it's just...

I was afraid
that you liked him more than me.

No way, Donald's okay
if you're into basketball,

baseball and wrestling.

Yeah, Margaux's the same way.

About chamber music,
art museums and the ballet.

I was the only one at
"Swan Lake" with a can of worms.

I really did miss you, Punky.

I missed you, too, Cherie.

- Friends again?
- Best friends forever.

I'm sorry, Cherie.

It really was my fault.

No, it wasn't. It was mine.

- No, it wasn't.
- Yes, it was.

- No, it wasn't.
- Yes, it was.

- No, it wasn't.
- Yes, it was.

Enough of this bickering.

You're acting like children.

I've been giving this
a lot of thought.

You will be friends.

- But, Henry...
- Don't interrupt.

You are going to take
this money,

go to the movies
and have friendly fun.

- But, Mr. Warnimont...
- Oh, alright, alright.

Here's some more money.

For friendly ice cream
afterwards.

- But, Henry...
- That's an order.

Come on, Cherie,
if we have to, we have to.

It worked!