04x12 - Here Come the Brides

[bunniefuu]

Mary: hurry! Get the ball!

Laura: catch it!

Man: whoa!

Oh. Come on.

Don't worry.

Laura: hi! You
coming to school here?

That's what my pa says.

That's my pa right there.

- Howdy.
- Hi.

My name's laura ingalls.
What's yours?

Luke simms.

Hi.

I'm nellie oleson.

We own the mercantile.

Oh, uh, that's nice.

Man: come on, son.

Excuse me.

Luke: bye.

Laura: see you in school.

Yeah.

Don't you have any manners?

Sure. I got plenty of manners.

All bad. It isn't proper

For the girl to speak
first to the boy.

Well, that's
old-fashioned and dumb!

Why, mr. Simms, I'm
sure we'll all be very happy

To have luke in our classroom.

It'll be good for him in
more ways than one, miss.

Oh?

Since his ma d*ed
a couple years ago,

He ain't had no
woman's touch in his life.

Well, we'll see what
we can do about that.

Luke, why don't
you stay in here?

And I have to go out
and ring for the children.

Luke: ow!

Beadle: I'm sorry.

That's all right, miss beadle.

I got real hard feet.

You're not wearing any shoes.

Well, uh, no, ma'am.

I guess I just
never fancied 'em.

I think that's what you call
getting off on the wrong foot.

[Both laugh]

That's a good one.

Now, if shoes is needed
for school, I'll get luke some.

Oh, mr. Simms, please
don't worry about that, i...

I'm much more interested
in what goes into the mind

Than what goes onto the body.

You know, I feel real sure
the boy will be in good hands

With you teaching
him, miss beadle.

Oh, thank you.

[Ringing]

Class, we have a new student.

His name is luke simms.

I hope you'll make
him feel at home.

Children: hi, luke.

Howdy.

Now, let's see. Where
shall we seat him?

He can sit here, miss beadle.

Oh, thank you, nellie.

[Laughter]

[Children yelling]

Isn't he something?

He sure can hit a baseball.

That run home deserves a reward.

You mean home run.

Of course. How silly of me.

For you,

The best candy
in the mercantile.

Uh, no, thanks.

Then I suppose you wouldn't want

To eat lunch with me sometime?

Well, sure. I'd like that.

You would?

Uh-huh.

I'll bet luke's the
strongest boy in school,

And he's easily the nicest.

Ma?

Mm-hmm.

Can I invite him to
take supper with us?

Oh, well...

I'll have to think
about that, darling.

After all, what do we really
know about the simms?

Oh, ma.

Well?

You know it's not easy
being the richest girl in town.

Harriet: oh! Ha ha!

How well I know that!

Poor people don't
seem to understand

The terrible
responsibilities of...

Of us more fortunate ones:

Setting an example

And raising the, uh...
The spiritual and...

And cultural standards
for the community.

Uh, what does his
father, mr. Simms, do?

Well, all I know is he sold
a big farm back in illinois,

And he's investing some of the
money in the old clanton farm.

Hmm.

Well, uh...

Why is it that he hasn't
been in to the mercantile

To get his supplies?

Is he getting his supplies
some place else, do you think?

Oh, no. They're
just settling in.

I'm sure they'll be
needing lots of supplies.

Oh.

Well... I tell you what.

Why don't you ask, uh, luke

For supper tomorrow night?

Thank you, ma.

Think we was going to
church instead of supper.

Well, we have to
let the womenfolk

Have their fuss and
feathers every now and then.

I don't know why.

Well, you work on it.

It'll come to you.

Well, let's go.

Mother, how do I look?

Oh, honey. You look
lovely. Now for the th time,

Don't bother me, huh?

Mother, he's coming!

Harriet: all right!
Everything's ready. I'm coming.

[Knock on door]

Welcome to the oleson residence.

Hi, nellie.

Please come in.

This is my father.

- Howdy.
- Luke.

- And my brother.
- Hi.

Is this what I got
all dressed up for?

You're not even wearing a suit.

Harriet: ah!

Nellie: and this is my mother.

Luke: hi.

Ah...

Uh...

Supper is s-served.

Nels.

Oh.

Why, he can't
even afford a shirt,

Let alone shoes.

Well, maybe he didn't
know it was a formal party.

Carve the roast...

And slices only.

Luke, you sit right
here next to me.

Thank you.

[Nels clears throat]

All right.

Ah. Here we go.

Guests first.

Luke.

Thank you.

Potatoes, ma'am?

Well, uh...

What crop does your
father raise, luke?

Oh, uh, pigs.

I might have known.

Raises hogs, too.

Why don't, uh... Want to pass
up your plates for the meat?

Oh, I'll pass the
platter, father.

Nels: all right.
Careful. There we go.

Help yourself, luke.

Thank you.

Oh.

Harriet: are you sure
you wouldn't like more?

Oh, uh, no, thanks, ma'am.

My pa says it's
kind of impolite to,

Uh, take more than one piece.

Mother dear?

I seem to have lost my appetite.

I wonder why.

You'll like this one.

It has pigs in it.

Why, it's just like
you was there!

[Yawning loudly]

Oh, my! Ha ha!

I think it's getting
close to bedtime.

My pa said not to
overstay my welcome.

Well, you always must listen

To your pa.

Yes'm.

Thank you for the
swell eats, mrs. Oleson.

They was real good.

Yes.

And thank you for
inviting me, nellie.

Anytime, luke.

Well, uh... Uh, bye.

[Mumbles] good night.

Isn't he just perfect?

[Screams]

[Stomping feet and screaming]

Mother! What's the matter?

What's the matter?
What's the matter?!

He is impossible!
That's what's the matter,

And I absolutely forbid
you to see him ever again!

Nellie: but I have to!

I mean, we go to
school together.

Oh! I mean outside of school.

Why?

[Imitating nellie] "why?"

Because he is not
a suitable person

For you to associate with.

Now, clearly the
simms are not our equals

In any manner, shape, or form.

I don't care!

Besides, luke says
he's going to have

One of the biggest pig
farms in minnesota someday.

[Sighs]

We, uh...

We all have our
ambitions in life,

Nellie darling,

And one of mine is
not to see you become

The minnesota pig queen!

[Nellie shrieks]

Ooh!

A pig farmer.

Ugh!

Want to go co*n hunting
again tonight, nellie?

It's always fun going with you,

Even if we don't catch anything.

Yeah, well, you
just wait till I get

That new r*fle I've been
saving for. Then I'll show ya.

I bet you will. See
you tonight, luke.

I promised mother I'd be home

Right after school
to study. Bye.

Bye.

Mrs. Oleson: oh,
yes, and another thing.

Nellie has been
going to her room early

Recently to study. Ha ha.

However, with all that study,

Her grades are down.

Nels?

What?

[Scoffs] you never listen.

I try to.

What? Not to listen?

I'm reading.

Well, I'm speaking.

I am trying to tell you
about your daughter.

Now, she's not
seeing that pig farmer,

Luke whatever-he-is, anymore

Except in school, of course.

Aw, he may have
a few rough edges,

But I kind of like the boy.

Uh-huh. Well, you
never had any taste.

You're right.

What?

I said, good night.

You know, saturday's flag day.

They're going to have a corn
shucking down at miller's barn.

They're going to have
fireworks and everything.

I know.

Well, uh...

I was wondering if maybe
you'd like to go with me.

I'd love to.

Saturday happens
to be my birthday also.

Good. We can celebrate.

I'm almost full-grown now...

A woman.

[Nellie giggling]

I'm...

Aha!

Caught you, young lady!

Why! My own daughter

Deceiving me.

Just a little.

Just a little? I'll
"just a little" you!

How dare you?

No wonder your schoolwork
has been suffering.

Why, you've been
sneaking out nights all along,

Meeting that pig
farmer, haven't you?

Well? Look at me!

Haven't you?!

[Sighs] all right.

That's the end of that, young
lady. That's the end of it.

That's the end of what?

Your daughter...

Sneaking out nights

Meeting pig farmers.

Thought it was the
end of the world.

Well, it is, nels!

It is!

[Yawning] not till : .

That's when the store opens.

Oh! You're no help.

All right.

I'll take the bull
by the horns...

Or the pig by the ears!

Whatever I have to do
to nip this thing in the bud.

Now, get upstairs and get
to bed! This minute! Hurry up!

Ah! Miss beadle.

You've got to do
something about it.

About what, mrs. Oleson?

About my nellie and that
luke simms, that's what.

She's been sneaking
out nights meeting him.

Well, I don't see what I can
do about that, mrs. Oleson.

Well, you can speak to his father.
That's what you can do about it.

Mrs. Oleson, I don't understand.

Now, why should I be the
one to talk to mr. Simms?

Because it's your duty.

You're the teacher, aren't you?

Now, my nellie's
schoolwork is being affected

By consorting with
that barefoot bumpkin.

[Sighs] well, uh...

All right, mrs. Oleson.

I'll be happy to
speak to mr. Simms.

Good.

Miss beadle: whoa, whoa, whoa!

Good afternoon, miss beadle.

Good afternoon, mr. Simms.

Can I help you down?

Oh, thank you.

Oh.

Nice to see you.

Something about luke?

Oh, yes, but it's
nothing serious.

Uh... Why don't you continue
with your work, and we can talk?

Gotta feed the pigs.

[Pigs grunting and squealing]

Actually, mrs. Oleson asked me
to come out here and speak to you.

It seems that luke's
seeing nellie nights,

And, uh, it's interfering
with her schoolwork.

Oh. I'm sorry.

Of course, I knew luke
was taking nellie hunting.

Didn't see any harm in it. No.

Simms: but... Excuse me...
I'll talk to the boy about it.

Beadle: thank you.

Simms: but, you know,
the way I look at it,

If the kids really care
about each other,

Then nobody ought to keep
them from seeing each other.

Oh, I agree.

Fact is...

People being what
they are, and, uh...

Huh... Love being what it is...

Probably nobody

Could keep 'em from
seeing each other.

Oh, I think love's
a wonderful thing.

I think it should
be encouraged...

Uh, unless it interferes

With your work, of course.

Look at them! Ha ha ha!

Some people don't like pigs.

Oh, I think they're
kind of cute.

You know, they have
a lot of good qualities:

Always a good crop,

Never have to worry
about the weather,

And, you know, you can use just
about every part of a porker there is,

Except maybe the grunt.

Uh, excuse me just a minute.

Surely.

I'd like you to have this.

Oh, mr. Simms, no. I couldn't...

Please, miss. I got plenty.

It's sort of by way
of saying thanks

For you taking the trouble
to come all the way out here.

You know, I ain't
had much schooling.

I reckon that's easy to see,

But the little bit I had, I
know how important it is

For kids to have a
teacher that cares...

Like you.

I think it's as important

To have a parent who cares,

Like you, mr. Simms.

All right. Thank you.

Oh, it's heavy. Ha ha ha!

Miss beadle, I'd sure
appreciate it if you could see fit

To call me by my given name.

It's adam.

All right. Adam.

You'll have to call me eva.

All right. Ha ha!

Adam and eva.

Ha ha! This ain't exactly
no garden of eden.

[Both laughing]

Laura: race you.

Nellie: luke, what are
we going to do today?

Oh, uh, nothing, nellie.

I got to do something
real important.

Mary, wait up!

Mary: hey, laura!

Laura: yeah?

Laura, tell ma I'll be
a little late, all right?

I'm going to stay
in town for a while.

All right.

Ok, she's gone. Let's go.

She's going to be
awful mad at you.

I think this one's
the prettiest.

How do you like it, mary?

I think any girl
would like it, luke.

It's beautiful!

What's the red thing?

Why, that's a genuine ruby.

A genuine imitation.

Oh. Well, how much?

Nels: $ . .

Hey, I can buy that, mary.

I've got $ . Right here.

I'll give you a
box to put it in.

Thanks again, mr. Oleson.

You really like it?

Oh, it's beautiful.

It really is.

I sure do.

- Mother?
- Yes?

What was luke doing
in here with mary ingalls?

Uh, he, uh...

He bought her a ring.

It was an engagement
ring, I think.

Oh, now, didn't mother tell you

That he's not for you?

Hmm? And doesn't
mother always know

What's best for her little girl?

You have to learn
about men, nellie dear.

They are all fickle
as weather vanes.

Shut up!

Oh! But...

Nellie, what's wrong?

I don't want to talk about it.

Oh, come on. You can tell me.

Maybe I can help.

[Sobbing]

That luke simms, he
pretended to like me.

Then he went and
bought mary ingalls a ring.

It isn't fair.

No, it's not fair.

And that doesn't
sound like luke.

I'm never gonna get
married, miss beadle.

I'm gonna wind up
an old maid, like you.

[Sighs]

Well, nellie...

Wait a minute,
nellie. I have an idea.

Why don't I go out
there and talk to his father

And luke, of course.

And I'll tell him that the
least he can do is to...

Tell him I hate him!

No, dear. I don't
think that will help.

Miss beadle: whoa, whoa, whoa.

Good afternoon, eva.

I came out here to say that
anyone who leads a young lady on

And then just lets it drop
is not a very nice person.

Now, wait a minute. I was...

Luke, how could you
be so inconsiderate

As to hurt poor
nellie oleson like that?

Me hurt nellie?

Well, shucks, miss beadle,

I'd never do
nothing to hurt nellie.

She's kind of like my girl.

Well, then would
you mind explaining

The ring that you
bought for mary ingalls?

sh**t. I didn't buy
that ring for mary.

She just helped me pick it out.

It's for nellie's birthday.

Spent most of the money he
was saving toward a r*fle on it.

Luke: it was
worth it for nellie.

Oh, luke, I'm sorry.

I apologize. I can
see now it was

Just an unfortunate
misunderstanding.

That's ok. I'm going
to give her the ring

Tomorrow night before
we go to the corn shucking.

Oh, good. I'm sure it
will be a joyful surprise.

I hope so.

Luke, you want to finish
mending that fence?

Sure, pa.

[Sighs]

Pigs break out all the
time, rooting for food.

Oh, adam, I feel so foolish.

No, eva. You had a right to
be upset from what you heard.

I never thought much myself

Of a man who didn't treat a
woman tender and respectful.

I should have known
he'd be more like his father.

Darn it.

Don't worry. I'm going to make
sure that luke does right by nellie.

I know you will, adam.

Matter of fact, uh...

I'd go to that corn
shucking myself

Just to follow up
on it, of course,

If, uh... If I had
anybody to go with.

Oh.

I was thinking the
same thing myself.

I just had a great idea.

Right out of the
blue, you might say.

Oh?

Eva, why don't we go together?

Why, adam, that's a
very sensible suggestion.

It makes sense to me.

[Chuckles]

Oh, well...

Till tomorrow, then.

Giddyup, jack.

[Harriet sighs]

Are you sure you don't
want to come with us?

I'm sure.

[Sighs]

Pigs!

[Knock on door]

Go away!

[Knock knock]

Happy birthday, nellie.

W-what are you doing here?

Well, I come to take
you to the shucking.

These are for you.

They're beautiful.

Come in.

Thank you.

Well, this is for you, too.

Oh, luke.

I hope it fits.

It's perfect.

Thank you.

I...

I thought...

What?

Never mind.

Everything's perfect now.

I'll just go change my dress.

What for?

You look beautiful
just the way you are.

You really mean it?

I sure do.

Come on. Let's go.

Being late, I expect we might
have missed something...

Like the fireworks.

Yeah.

[Fireworks exploding]

[Music playing on soundtrack,
conversation inaudible]

Eva...

I reckon you know
how I feel about you...

Feeling like I do,

I was hoping...

Ahh.

I'm just a dumb,
uneducated pig farmer.

Adam simms, don't
you dare talk like that!

Now, there's a lot
more to education...

- Than book learning.
- Eva...

Now, look, you know more
about pigs, more about hogs,

And more about farming
than I'll ever know.

And what's more, you
have wonderful qualities.

You've got special qualities

That so-called educated
people will never have,

And you're a good man,

And you're a good father,

And you're kind and
considerate and...

Eva, will you stop?

I will if you want me to. I
was just trying to show...

Well, if you don't stop,

I can't ask you to do
me the honor of, uh...

Becoming my wife.

Adam...

Adam, you do me the honor.

Look, it's not that
I don't love you.

I... I just have so
many things to consider.

I mean, think about my age

And my work and
my responsibilities,

And... And there's
just a number of...

Miss beadle...

You're doing it again.

So I am. [Chuckles]

I'm sorry.

Take your time.

I want you to be
sure that it's for good.

Ok.

Looks like pa is
fixing to marry again.

Do you mind?

No. I'll be glad.

Ma and pa... They was
always so happy together.

Maybe it's time I thought
about settling down.

How about it, nellie?

How about what?

Well, uh... You and
me getting hitched.

Us?

Married?

Oh, luke, I don't... I don't
know if I'm old enough...

Or if I really know
enough to be a wife...

Or that I'm really
good enough for you.

Shucks, sure you are, nellie.

I'd be right happy to
have you for a missis,

And my ma married when
she was younger than you.

I'd have to think on it, luke.

Well, just don't go
asking your ma, ok?

That's the last thing I'd do.

Miss beadle?

Oh. Hello, nellie.

Mind if I ask,

What do you think
about marriage?

Well, that's funny you
should ask me that.

I think marriage is a
wonderful institution.

You know, it's a very
noble calling for a woman...

To be a wife,
homemaker, helpmate...

Keeper of the present,

Mother of the future.

Keeper of the present...
Mother of the future.

But what about age?

Age shouldn't make any
difference when people are in love.

Nothing should stand
in the way of love...

Not people, not position,
not money, nothing.

Thank you, miss beadle.

Hi, nellie.

Luke, I've decided to
accept your proposal.

You have? Well, we
got to make some plans.

What do we do now?

Knowing your mother,
there's only one way.

We got to elope.

When?

Knowing your mother,
the sooner, the better.

Mr. Miller says he wants
to buy my prize sow.

That'll give us the money
for the justice of the peace...

And for the honeymoon.

Miss beadle: whoa, whoa!

Adam!

Howdy.

I've decided to
become mrs. Simms.

Oh!

[Both laughing]

Oh!

You mind waiting
till luke gets home?

I'd like for us to break
the news together.

Oh, I'd love that, too.

Well, come on in the house.

He's over at the
millers' selling his sow.

Shouldn't be too long.

Ok. Oh!

Whew.

Oh, willie honey,
would you run upstairs

And tell nellie that
supper's almost ready?

Come on, nels.

She ain't there.

What?

She ain't there.

I saw her and luke riding
out of town in our buckboard

Couple hours ago.

She had a suitcase.

Why didn't you tell us?!

'Cause nobody asked.

Oh, nels!

Get the shotgun!

[Harriet screams]

Oh!

Why didn't you hold on?!

Oh, nels, really!

Are you all right?

Ugh! Am I all right?
Of course I'm all right.

Come on.

Nels: hey! Come back! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa!

Where's my nellie?

I don't know.

Well, where's your son?

I don't know that neither.

Well! They were
seen leaving town

This afternoon in my buckboard.

And... Well, where else
could they go but here?

Well, you can come in and look

If you don't believe me.

[Harriet gasps]

Uh, I talked to
nellie this afternoon.

About what?

Marriage.

Marriage?!

Well, I thought she
was talking about

Me and adam,
and... Well, I guess

She was talking
about her and luke.

I bet them kids went
off and got hitched.

That's my guess.

Oh, nels!

We've got to stop
them before they...

Now, the nearest justice of
the peace is over at sleepy eye.

I'll hitch up the wagon.

Well, I must say, a fine example

You set for the
children, miss beadle!

Well, we didn't do anything!

No, maybe you haven't,

But, nels...

Why, nellie is
with that... That...

That clodhopper!

Oh, for heaven's sakes!

Just calm yourself.
Now, it's all right.

Do you, luke, take nellie

For your lawful wife?

Yeah.

I do!

Well, I'm marrying her. I do!

[Sighs]

Do you, nellie,

Really take luke here
for your lawful husband?

I do.

You got a ring?

We can use this.

[Whispering]
what do I do with it?

You put it on this
finger here, and you say,

"With this ring, I thee wed."

You think you can remember that?

Well, sure.

With this ring...

Not my finger, you dummy, hers!

Oh, sorry.

With this ring, uh...

I wed thee.

Was that all right?

You're man and wife.

Philomena.

Thanks, philomena.

I needed that.

What do we do now?

Guess we got to get a room.

Come on.

Adam: hyah! Hyah!

Adam: whoa. Whoa!

[Knock on door]

[Knock knock]

Oh! Are you the
justice of the peace?

Are you the justice
of the peace?

What peace?

I want to know about a marriage.

Lady, you waited this long.
You can wait till the morning.

Oh, I don't want to be married!

I don't either!

I want to know about my
daughter... Nellie oleson...

And... And luke simms.

Did you marry them?

Almost, but it took a bit...

Oh! You mean
they're not married?

No. I mean it took a bit of
doing, but they're married,

For better or, most
likely, for worse.

Do you know where they went?

They said something
about getting a room.

I'm going to go to bed, too.

A room.

Where would they go?

There's only places in town...

Either the hotel
or mrs. Leary's.

Oh. Well, you go
to mrs. Leary's,

And let's go to
the hotel. Hurry up.

Nice place, huh?

Nellie: yeah.

Nice town... What I saw.

Uh-huh.

Well... My turn, I guess.

I guess.

Luke: nellie?

Yes?

Well, nothing, I guess.

[Gasps]

Ma!

Nels...

Make her a widow.

Ma!

Daddy, no!

sh**t!

Nels: I can't just sh**t!

Harriet: sh**t! I'll get him!

Nels: what are you doing?!

[Nellie screaming]

Give me that. Give me that.

Give me the g*n.
Give me the g*n!

Get off it!

- Luke!
- Pa!

Do you mind telling me what
you're doing out here in your drawers?

It's mrs. Oleson, pa. She's trying
to k*ll me! I got to get out of here!

Well, I'm your
father. I get first call.

Pa!

Get in there!

[Knock on door]

[Knock knock]

[Knock knock]

[Knock knock]

Oh, no!

Tell me, what's walnut
grove got against me?

What did I ever do?

Always tried to live right,
observe the golden rule.

You married these children.

I thought they'd regret
it. Now I know I do.

Well, I want you
to unmarry them.

- Unmarry them?
- Yes.

They're far too young,

And we're going to stay
right here until you do.

Come in.

In there. Gah.

[Harriet sighs]

Stop that!

Said the fly to the spider.

Let me have the marriage
certificate, romeo.

It's luke.

By the power vested in me,

I declare you, luke,

And you, nellie,

Not to be man and
wife. Good night!

Come along, nellie.

Eva, as long as we're here,

Why don't we get married?

Why not?

You're joking!

No, sir.

We're ready whenever you are.

Yes.

I'll pay you extra.

Oh.

Philomena!

How'd you like to
be my best man?

'Cause you are, you know.

Sure, pa.

Nellie?

Nellie, someday when
you're old enough, and...

And if you want, I'll be
your matron of honor,

But for now, will you
stand up with me?

Oh.

Yes, miss beadle.

You, over here.

You, over here near the bride.

You, there near the groom.

Where do you want me?

I'd rather not say.

Well!

Now, then...

What are your names?

Adam: uh, adam and eva.

Now you are joking.

Nope. Adam simms and eva beadle.

After tonight, I can
believe anything.

This is going to be
the midnight special...

Short and sweet.

Dearly beloved, we
are gathered here

At this despicable hour

In the presence of
this weird assemblage

To join in marriage
these people.

Adam, do you take eva
for your lawful wedded wife?

I do.

Eva...

Do you take adam for your
lawful wedded husband?

I do.

I now pronounce
you man and wife.

[Snoring]

Philomena!

Philomena!

Harriet: eh... Gosh.

Oh, my. It's a regular wedding.

Nels: congratulations.

[All speaking at once]