03x14 - Tangled Web

[bunniefuu]

Henry, would you still love me
if I looked like this?

No.

Now finish eating. I'm late.

Got a hot date after work?

No, today's the day
I photograph Andre Sockstein,

conductor of the Chicago
Metropolitan Symphony.

Wow.

Wow, indeed.

Now, eat your toast
and get to school.

Brandon, I know peanut butter
is your favorite

but it gets stuck to the roof
of your muzzle.

Okay, but when you're finished
remember to floss.

Henry, have you reconsidered
what we talked about last night?

Punky, for the last time,

I will not allow you to see
"Slime Wars In Space."

That movie is too scary.

Henry, you know how much
I wanna be an astronaut.

I need to know about
space travel and science.

But that movie's about slime!

Oh, I get it,
you're prejudiced against slime.

Boy, you live with a person,

you think you know him.

Gee, they tried to con you
and it doesn't work.

Please, Henry, absolutely every
single one of my friends

has seen that movie.

And if absolutely every
single one of your friends

wanted to jump off
the Empire State Building,

would you do the same?

Only if you don't
let me see that movie.

How do underage children
get to see

an R-rated movie, anyway?

Their parents take them.

Ah, well,

here's one parent
who will not kowtow to this

national lust
for horror and v*olence.

So you'll think it over?

No.

And that's final.

- Hi, Mr. Warnimont.
- Hi, Mr. Warnimont.

- Bye, Mr. Warnimont.
- Bye, Mr. Warnimont.

Ready to go, Punky?

Get off my back, okay?

Uh-oh, looks like we have
a blue collar temper tantrum.

What's the matter, Punky?

It's Henry.

He's so stone age.

He won't let me see
"Slime Wars In Space."

Oh, what a great movie!

I saw it twice!

Me too, what was
your favorite part?

The flying space rats.

Remember when they kidnapped
the baby Drubblewog?

Drubblewog?

Yeah, they're orange and icky

with giant laser pods.

Laser pods! I love laser pods!

What are laser pods?

What about when Queen Farknarkle

barbecued the seven
Slug Brothers?

I hid my eyes when she melted
the third Slug brother.

Faceless Fred!

No, Earless Ed.

The best part was when
the meteor exploded...

And the theatre seats
start vibrating!

And steam came out of the floor.

And everybody started screaming!

I've got to see
that movie!

Too bad, Punky.

It's not fair.

Punky, if life was fair,

everybody would look like me.

Oh, brother.

Let's go before
we're late for school.

Yeah.

Hey, wait a minute, you guys.

Punky,

there is a way you can see

"Slime Wars In Space."

This very afternoon.

How?

It's the essence of simplicity.

After lunch,

you pretend you're sick.

Cherie and I will tell
the school nurse

that you went home ill.

But I won't go home.

I'll run to mall
and see the movie, right?

Right.

Wait a minute, that's lying.

Oh, really, Mother Teresa?

Oh, lighten up, Cherie.

Besides,

today, the cafeteria's
serving Sloppy Joes.

There is a good chance
I'll get sick, anyway.

But I still think it's lying.

It's helping a friend.

I'd do it for you.

Well, okay.

Great.

Wait a minute, Marguax.

Once I get to the movie,

how am I gonna get in
without an adult?

Don't worry.
I have a plan for that too.

Yeah, great! Let's go.

Bye, see you later, Brandon.

Andre Sockstein.

I'm expected.

Oh, of course.

I'm Henry Warnimont.

Enough about you.

Why am I waiting?

Oh, I'm sorry.

This way, sir.

Darlene, I love you.

When will you go out with me?

Great! It's a date!

I'll see you February st.

One adult, please.

Oh, yeah? Where?

Right here, sonny.

Hang on, Darlene.

Excuse me, ma'am, but could you

please lift up that veil?

What for?

Because it's my job to make sure

everyone's over eighteen.

Why, you young whippersnapper!

I was fighting
for the French Underground

twenty years
before you were born.

Really?

That's right.

You baby boomers tick me off.

I... I... I'm sorry, but it... it
was just that your height...

Are you saying I'm short?

I was sh*t in the ankles.

I can't stand up straight.

No, no, D... Darlene,
don't hang up.

I... I'll be right with you.

That'll be five dollars, ma'am.

That's more like it, young man.

- You're a little short.
- What?

I meant, you owe me
another quarter.

Oh, sorry.

- Here you go.
- There's your ticket.

The next show starts
in seven minutes.

Thank you very much.

Darlene...

how about I come over
to your place

after work tonight?

The goobers are on me.

Now, Mr. Sockstein,

just strike a natural pose.

Sir, that pose looks
a little forced.

You're right.

What about this?

Warnimont.

Yes, this is Punky's father,
who is this?

Oh, Nurse Purse.

Well, this is Wednesday

and it's Sloppy Joes for lunch,

so, I'm not surprised
she's sick.

Uh...

Yes, thank you
for letting me know.

Mr. Sockstein, I'm sorry,
something's come up.

I have to call home.

What are you? E.T.?

I'm worried
about my little girl.

She was sent home
sick from school.

There's no answer.

What is the big mystery?

She is obviously too sick
to answer the phone.

Now, I think this pose
is very natural.

Look, I'm very worried
about my daughter.

I have to make sure
that she's okay.

I know.
Why don't I reschedule you?

I have no time to reschedule.

You sh**t me now,

or sh**t me never.

Sir...

I would very much
like to sh**t you.

But my daughter is more
important than any job.

Just practice being natural.

Great. Henry's leaving.

He'll never catch me now.

We'll be back with more
"Punky Brewster."

Please. Please, sir.

Just let me see the end.

The slime
was just starting to bubble.

Forget it, kid.

You had no business
sneaking in here

in the first place.

But I didn't sneak in,

I bought a ticket.

Did you?

Goodbye, Darlene.

Claude...

Did you sell
this child a ticket?

Um, yeah,
but... but that's not a child.

That lady was a fighter
for the French Underground.

Oh, really?

That's right, my code name
is Crepe Suzette.

Claude, this is
obviously a child.

Any idiot could see that.

Oh, I don't know.
I missed it.

You're fired, Claude.

F... fired?

Does this mean I lose
my goober discount?

Turn in your tie and get out.

Please, sir, don't fire him.

It wasn't his fault.

It wasn't?
Whose fault was it?

It was mine.

Oh, the customer's always right!

Go home, Claude.

Where are your pants?

Well, they're... they're...
They're at the cleaners.

See I... I didn't expect

to come out before five.

Here, wear this.

At least, that way
no one will know who you are.

Please, sir.

I just wanted to see the movie.

I didn't want to get anyone
fired.

She's not in her bedroom.

There a note
on the refrigerator?

Nope. I guess
she just isn't home yet.

Where could she be?

Henry, did you ever
stop to think

that she could be playin' hooky?

Punky wouldn't do that.

Would she?

Well, she's never
done it before.

Has she?

No, I know my daughter.

She's too honest for that.

I better call the police.

Hi, grandma! What's going on?

Sh! Sit down.

Punky's missin'
and Henry's callin' the police.

Uh, oops,
there's something I gotta do.

- What?
- Leave.

Freeze!

Get yourself back here.

Sit down, child.

A key witness has just arrived.

Hi.

Cherie, do you know
where Punky is?

Uh, um...

You told Nurse Purse

that she went home sick.

Now, can you tell me
how sick she was?

Gee, that's sorta hard to say.

Uh, uh, see, you know,

first she turned kinda green.

Then she changed
to a pale yellow.

Uh-huh.

Is this before or after
she saw the nurse?

Uh, uh...

I'm not sure.

Stand up!

Not you, Henry.

Now, Cherie,
do you know where Punky is?

I respectfully refuse
to answer that question

on the grounds that...

I'll get grounded.

And, I respectfully demand

you answer that question
on the grounds

that I have a hairbrush

and I'm not afraid to use it.

Uh, look, I just can't

tell you where Punky is.

Why not?

'Cause she might
not be there anymore.

I want a straight answer, child.

- Slime!
- Now, wait a minute.

She may be covering for Punky,

but there's no need
for name-calling.

No...

No, no, I'm talking about

a movie Punky wanted to see.

Slime something.

You mean "Slime Wars In Space?"

- That's it.
- Oh!

A terrible movie.

I should never have
taken Cherie to see it.

Every time I close my eyes,

I see Slug Brothers.

Did Punky go to see that movie?

Cherie, listen to me.

What Punky did was wrong

and asking you
to lie for her was wrong.

I know.

Come on, Cherie.

You and I are goin' upstairs

and have a long talk
about honesty.

Uh, are you gonna punish me?

Yeah.

How?

Remember what happened
to the baby Drubblewog?

Henry.

Gee, you're home early.

Yes. I had a short
but hectic day.

I had to cancel my session
with Andre Sockstein.

Oh, too bad.

Don't you want to know why?

Sure.

I received a call
from Nurse Purse.

She told me you got sick

and had to leave school.

Sick? Oh, yeah.

But when I got home,

you weren't here.

That's 'cause when I got home
I felt much better

so I decided to
go back to school.

And why didn't you?

Uh, 'cause...

on the way, I ran into a dog.

I mean, I saw someone else
run into a dog with a car.

And they just drove away,
so I had to go and see

if the dog was okay.

And was he?

Yes.

I mean, no.

Well, yes and no.

See, when I tried
to get near it,

it ran away.

A hurt dog ran away?

Well, not really running,

limping, fast.

- Ah.
- A fast limp, like this.

Oh. I see.

And where did this hurt,
fast-limping dog go?

Up a tree.

A hurt, fast-limping dog

climbed a tree?

Did I say dog? I meant cat.

A doggone cat.

With big floppy ears like a dog.

A cat with big floppy ears
like a dog

stuck in a tree?

Right, it was making

this sort of
meowing-barking sound.

Me-arf!

Me-arf!

And why did this take
two whole hours?

Well, 'cause you see,
it wasn't really a tree,

it was a telephone pole,
and I had to climb up,

tap into the wires,
call the fire department

and by time the six trucks came,

two of 'em crashed,
and I went to see

"Slime Wars In Space!"

Finally. We get to the truth.

Yeah, I've been lying all day.

One lie lead to two lies.

Two lead to five,
five lead to nine.

Nine became more than that!

That's what happens
when you lie, Punky.

You have to keep on lying.

Yeah, they multiply
faster than slime.

Boy, I'm glad that's over with.

Do you see
the damage you caused?

I lost an account,

I almost had the police
looking for you.

Do you know how scared I was

when I got home
and you weren't here?

I'm sorry, Henry.

And poor Cherie's being punished
because she lied for you.

She is?

I didn't mean
for that to happen.

That's another thing
about lies, Punky.

You can get
innocent people into trouble.

Like Claude.

Claude?

Is he one of the Slug Brothers?

No, the ticket-seller
at the movies.

He got fired

'cause he let me in.

I begged the manager
to rehire him.

Did he?

Yeah, but I had to promise

that I would sweep up
the theater

every day for a month.

Well, look on the bright side.

It's a clean sweep

from the theater to my studio.

I'll be cleaning up there too?

Oh, yes.

Until you pay back what I lost
on the Sockstein poster.

Do I have to work on weekends?

No.

On weekends,
you'll be helping Cherie

rake leaves in the backyard.

I realized
I had it coming to me.

But you know
what the worst part was?

What's that?

The feeling I had
when I was telling those lies.

Icky, creepy, slimy.

That's called guilt.

Yeah, and I got a whole gut
full of it.

So, why don't you
go to your bedroom,

and think about what you did.

Yes, sir.

Henry, how long will it take me
to pay you back?

Well, let's see.

Two-fifty an hour,

five days a week, um...

About six months.

Is it too soon
to ask for a raise?

That's what I thought.