04x05 - Brandon's Commercial

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Punky Brewster". Aired: September 16, 1984 to March 1986.*
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Follows Punky and her dog, Brandon who have been abandoned by her parents.
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04x05 - Brandon's Commercial

Post by bunniefuu »

Well, it's almost closing

and tonight I'm gonna show you

how to tally
the register receipts.

Thanks,
but I'm busy tonight, Henry.

Doing what?

Uh, I've got to trim my bangs.

Oh, Punky, I wish
you'd show more interest

in learning about this business.

My dream is for you
to be a restaurateur.

I understand,

but my dream
is to be an astronaut.

I'm interested in a launch,
not lunch.

But someday
this will all be yours.

A father works
day in and day out

just to have something
to leave his child.

To bad you're not
in the planet business.

You could leave me Mars.

I can see the future now.

You become an astronaut,
move to the moon

and never call me.

Punky's Place.

Perfectamente.

Passable.

Hi, I'm Punky Brewster.
Can I help you?

- I'm looking for the owner.
- I'm one of them.

I meant someone older.

And taller.

Henry!

Oh, can I be of service?

I'm the proprietor,
Henry Warnimont.

I produce
television commercials.

Germain Glick. Call me G.G.

That guy's Daryl Snipes.

- Shall I call you D.S.?
- N-O.

Mr. Warnimont,
I would like to sh**t

a commercial here
in your restaurant.

Really? A commercial, here?

What is it for?

Perfume? Jewelry?

Furs?

Dog food.

I don't think so.

Please, Henry, it'll be fun.

Like we're in show business.

How long will this take?

One day.

I don't know. I'd have
to close down for a day.

I'd lose business.
Food would spoil.

Of course, I am prepared
to offer you $ for the day.

Thousand dollars?

It's worth considering.

Come on, Henry, that's twice
as much as you usually pull in.

Children.
What do they know?

- It's a deal.
- Good.

We'll be here in the morning
with equipment,

crew and pooper scoopers.

Oh.

A thousand dollars.

What was that?

A... a thousand dollars
will barely cover it.

G.G., uh, have you found a dog
for this commercial?

Well, we've set up auditions
at Canine Casting.

We're looking for a special dog.

One with pizzazz.

Brandon!

How's your pizzazz?

Okay, Brandon, one more time.
Wag your tail.

Give me your paw.

Stand up.

Now smile.

We'll work on it.

Hello, people.

Margaux,
what are you doing here?

Cherie said
she'd keep this a secret.

And I promised Cherie
that I'd keep this a secret.

This is Truffles.

The dog is dressed
better than me.

Everyone is dressed
better than you.

Truffles is a champion show dog.

She's won first prize
out of times.

What happened to the th time?

Her manicurist was sick.

Does she do any tricks,
like sit up or beg?

She doesn't have to beg.

She has a trust fund.

Hi, guys.

Whoa, whoa.

Heel, Harvey, heel.

Cherie, what are you doing?

What do you mean? You've met
my dog, Harvey, before.

You're not well.

Whoa, back, Harvey, back!

She didn't mean it.

Mr. Snipes, wait till you meet
Brandon the Wonder Dog.

Watch what he can do.

Come on, Brandon!

Spare me.

What about Truffles, Mr. Snipes?

Her breeding's
almost as good as mine.

I feel a yawn coming on.

I've got an even better dog.

I'm not falling for the old
invisible dog trick.

No, Harvey, not on his shoe.

Bad doggy!

Kids, we've already hired

one of the most famous dogs
in the world.

A big box office favorite.

Everybody, meet Churchill.

- There he is. Here.
- Oh.

That dog's is in a movie.
"Citizen Canine."

Come on. Let's go, Truffles.

Come on, Harvey.

Brandon, I thought
this would be your big break.

Oh, don't feel bad, Punky.

Maybe another time.

Yeah.

Hey, kid, wanna be my gofer?

- Huh?
- My assistant.

You remind me a lot of myself
when I was your age.

I do? How?

Oh, I was eager,
wanted to do big things

and wore weird clothes.

Sure, G.G., I'll be your gofer.
When do I start?

Right now.
Get me a cup of coffee, P.B.

P.B.? I love it.

Oh, and you don't
even have to pay me.

I didn't intend to.

Okay, team, time is money.

Let's go for a take.

Okay, Churchill.

Ready, announcer?

It's magic time.

Kibbles Cordon Bleu commercial.

Director Daryl Snipes.
Take .

Lights, camera... action.

This dapper dog
about town always...

Get your red hot peanuts,

popcorn, chili dogs...

Cut! What are you doing?

I thought
you all might be hungry.

Everything is % off.

Over there, Henry.

Fifty percent?

- Let's do it again.
- Let's do it again!

Kibbles Cordon Bleu commercial.

Director Daryl Snipes.
Take .

Lights, camera, action.

This dapper dog...

G.G., here's your coffee.

Cut! Give me that coffee.

Sorry.

Go stand in the corner
next to your father.

Come on,
let's, let's do it again!

Kibbles Cordon Bleu commercial.

Director Daryl Snipes.
Take .

Lights, camera, action.

This dapper dog about town

always follows a night
at the theater

with a delicious bowl
of Kibbles Cordon Bleu.

Right, Churchill?

Look at that hungry dog go.

Oh, it's obvious that he loves
Kibbles Cordon Bleu.

Chew well
before you swallow, pal.

Cut!

What is wrong with this mutt?

Oh, he could be
depressed about his girlfriend.

- Girlfriend?
- Hmm.

A little Pekinese
with an overbite.

She got spayed last week.

They really wanted kids.

I'll talk to him.

So, Churchill baby,

you can always adopt.

Oh, come on, Churchill.

Eat your Kibbles Cordon Bleu

and then we'll give you
something that tastes good.

I'm sure he'll be just fine
on his next take.

Kibbles Cordon Bleu commercial.

Director Daryl Snipes.
Take .

Action!

This dapper dog about town

always follows a night
at the theater

with a delicious bowl
of Kibbles Cordon Bleu.

Oh, look at that hungry dog go.

Cut!

G.G., this is hopeless.

You're right.

You're fired, Churchill.
Get off the set.

I want him out of his motor home
in ten minutes.

Right.

Now what are we going to do?

We need another dog.
Call Canine Casting again.

Okay.

Get that fleabag away
from that dog food.

We need a dog
who can eat on cue.

Brandon can eat on cue.

He's the original chow hound.

He's hired.

Brandon baby,
you still in the bathroom?

Did you floss?

Don't forget to gargle.

Good boy.

Molly Ringwald,
eat your heart out.

Brandon, what are you doing
with a frisbee?

I think he wants to play.

Give that to P.B.

We don't have time
to play games, Brandon baby.

Brandon baby?

It's showbiz talk.

Get with it, H.W.

I am not H.W.
I am Y.F.

- Y.F.?
- Your father.

I think we should
have a little talk.

We'll do lunch.

Punky, don't you think
you're going a little overboard?

Brandon's only doing
one commercial.

I know, but this is just
the beginning, Henry.


It could lead
to his own TV show.

His paw prints in cement.

A doghouse on the Riviera.

G.G. says we need
a good publicity story.

How does this sound?
I wrote it myself.

"Brandon the Wonder Dog

was born in the basement
of a log cabin,

the son of a sharecropper's dog.

When he was just a pup,
Brandon proved to be a hero

when he saved the lives
of four men.

He pulled them out
of a vat of skin lotion

where they were about to be
softened to death."

Not one word of that is true.

I know, but that's the stuff
legends are made of.

Warnimont residence,
Henry speaking.

For you.

It's the William Morris Agency.

It's about time
they returned my call.

Hello. Yes, this is P.B.

Listen, Mr. Firstfogel,
I understand

that your client, Churchill,
has retired.

But I'm the manager
of the hottest new star

in the animal world,
Brandon the Wonder Dog.

Well, maybe we could start him
off on a guest sh*t of "ALF."

Oh, and then a remake
of "Dog Day Afternoon."

And I'm working on a script
called "Brandon Meets Benji."

You look fab, Brandon baby.

Don't be nervous, and remember,

your left side
is your best side.

And don't chew
with your mouth open.

Henry, could you hang this up
on your bulletin board?

What is it?

Harvey ran away again
and Cherie's broken-hearted.

You're not fooling me, Betty.

This is just an excuse to watch
this commercial being sh*t.

Oh.

- You're sh**ting a commercial?
- Oh.

How's it going?

Alright, I guess.

Something's wrong.

What's the matter?

I'm afraid Punky is a little
too full of herself.

Oh, she's just a kid.

It's only natural for her to be
impressed by show business.

You shouldn't expect her
to be as mature as we are.

- Who's that?
- The director.

The director? Wow!

Excuse me.

I'd love to have
this picture signed.

Oh, certainly, I'd be glad to.

That's not my picture.
It's Billy Dee Williams.

Yeah. Ain't he a hunk?

Could you get him to sign that
when you go back to Hollywood?

What?

Tell him there's a foxy lady
here in Chicago

who could singe his mustache.

Sure. I'd be glad to.

Alright, people,
let's earn our money here.

Brandon sweetie, cookie, baby,

this is no time to play frisbee.

Don't worry. I'll be near you
the whole time.

Now break a leg.

Oh, it's just an expression.
It means good luck.

Kibbles Cordon Bleu.
The saga continues.

Director Daryl Snipes.
Take .

Lights, camera, action.

This dapper dog about town

always follows a night
at the theater

with a delicious bowl
of Kibbles Cordon Bleu.

What's he doing?

Cut! Cut! Cut!

Oh.

What's the matter, Brandon?

Brandon,
this is no time to play.

Now what are we going to do?

- Get into a tux.
- Why?

- You are doing the commercial.
- What?

Change that to read

"Kibbles Cordon Bleu is so good

that even humans
wanna eat it."

Oh, no.

There's nothing on this earth
that can make me eat dog food.

There'll be no Kibbles for moi.

I'll pay you $ .

Can I stay in the motor home?

You got it.

- Can I direct?
- Oh, sure.

About time.

Okay, everybody, take five.

Brandon, you blew it.

Do you realize
how much you've embarrassed me?

I'm ashamed of you.

You're a bad dog.

Punky, I'm afraid
I'm a little ashamed of you.

Me? Why me?

Brandon's the one that messed up
a once-in-a-lifetime chance.

Whose chance?

His...

or yours?

What do you mean?

He could have been a star.

Perhaps.

But he didn't want to be a star,
you wanted it.

He wasn't excited
about all this.

I think he would have preferred
to play frisbee.

But you don't understand.

Punky, you remember
the other day

when I tried to interest you
in the restaurant business?

Yeah.

That's what I wanted.

But you made it very clear

that you wish to become
an astronaut.

I disappointed you?

Yes, but I shouldn't have
expected you

to want the same things I want.

That was a mistake.

Oh, and you're saying I made
the same mistake with Brandon.

Exactly.

Well, maybe I did get
slightly carried away.

Slightly, P.B.?

I better go straighten
things out with Brandon.

Good idea.

Brandon?

Brandon, I shouldn't
have yelled at you.

I'm sorry.

Really, really sorry.

And you're not a bad dog.

You're a good dog.

The best dog in the world.

Do you think
you could ever forgive me?

I love you.

Let's get out
of this monkey suit

and go play some frisbee.
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