02x20 - Book of Corrine

[bunniefuu]

It's alive!

Hello, Robot Chicken.

I viewed your recent Gobots sketch
with an utter lack of mirth...

and an abundance
of extreme displeasure.

The following is my annotated version
of your worthless attempt at humor.

Watch and learn, jerks.

First of all,
Gobots do not live in houses.

Second of all, Gobots do not masturbate,
if that is indeed what you are implying.

- Scooter?
- Don't come in!

- What are you doing in there?
- Don't come in!

This is not a hilarious circumstance.
It is both painful and traumatic...

as anyone who has lived
through it can tell you.

So, let me get this straight.

You're a helicopter
and your name is Cop-Tur?

- Yes.
- Lame.

Turbo is a good Gobot
and Cop-Tur is a Renegade Gobot.

They would not be conversing as such.

Also, Cop-Tur was only
his lame American name.

When the character was originated
in Japan in ...

Cop-Tur's name was Gyro Robo.

I have taken the liberty
of re-dubbing this scene.

So, I hear your name is Gyro Robo.

- Correct.
- That is very not lame.

I won't even dignify
this scene with my analysis.

Robot Chicken has screwed
the proverbial pooch...

when attempting to skewer the vast
and magnificent world of the Gobots.

Please go to hell.

Daniel?! Come get your supper, honey!

Mom, I you my name was Gyro Robo!

- Sorry, Gyro Robo.
- Yeah. That's more like it.

You are going too fast!

Pull over immediately!

Konnichiwa,
and welcome to Ninja Stars.

Tonight we'll see
real live ninjas compete...

to find out who can be
the most stealthy and effective assassin.

Please help me welcome Dan Norbert,
corporate accountant.

Let us see
what our first ninja contestant can do.

Fantastic!
Let's go to our panel of judges.

Nice moves. I give him a .

Dan Norbert look pretty dead. . .

I don't know why I'm here.

I don't know the first thing
about martial arts. . .

Sorry, folks,
the other two ninja contestants...

were found decapitated backstage.
Good night.

Here comes the yum-yum train
right into the station.

Yum-yum express comin' through!

Next stop, tummy land!

Oh, no! The bridge is closed!

Full reverse engines!
Slam on the brakes!

Come on, women and children first!
Oh, dear God!

It looks like the tracks
are coming to an end!

Everyone on board lurches forward.

The impact throws people
through windows!

Arms hanging from the luggage rack!

Children's faces are trampled in panic!

The guy in the bathroom
breaks his neck...

and passes out in his on filth!

It's carnage!
Bloody f*cking carnage!

People demand to know why!

Why would God allow
something like this to happen?!

The humanity!

Here comes
the yum-yum train.

She'll have the chef salad, and I'll have...
I'll have the steak.

Yeah, you better order the steak, punk.
Don't want none of this, bitch!

Let me get these rubber bands off. I'll go
clack-clack all up in your face, mother...

Hi, there. Welcome to my new show,
Vince Vaughn Bangs Your Mom.

In this show, I meet up with your mom...

and I bust her ass
like a looter in a riot.

Please welcome
my first guest today, your mom.

Now, before I take your mom
behind this curtain...

a few things about this fine lady.

She's years young, loves museums
and does this thing with her tongue...

that would make a... well, would make
a rabbi eat pork. That's all for today.

Time for me to go sweep
your mom's chimney like Mary Poppins.

Toodles.

Boy, being a sock puppet
really sucks, huh?

Yeah. Especially when your puppet master
is a -year-old boy...

who whacks off in your face every night.

I feel like I'm gonna blow
chunks of birdseed!

Oh, no! Big Bird has the bird flu.

The word of the day is "quarantine. "

Q- u-a-r-a-n-t-i-n-e.
Quarantine.

Snuffleupagus?
Is that you?

He must be hallucinating.

Hi, Bird.
I'm so sorry you're sick.

I'm scared, Snuffy.

Thank God you can't get it
since your not real.

Yeah. Thank G...

One vaccine.

Two vaccines.

¤ One of these kids
is not like the other ¤

¤ One of these kids is dead ¤

Today's episode brought to
you by the letters CDC.

Hey, boys and girls.
Remember to be yourself!

And don't f*ck with us
or we'll sting you all at once and k*ll you!

Projac, you're a gift
to former mad scientists everywhere.

With your help,
I'll use my inventions for good.

Right, boys?

I live!

This is awesome!

I'm alive! I'm alive!

Sparkly!

Being alive holds
such amazing wonders!

- Freeze!
- Hands above your head!

- Don't give me reason, sir!
- I love you all!

I want to play, too!

What a great game! I win!

Look at you.
I haven't seen anything so adorable...

in all my minutes of life.

Come here, you!

Well, boys, I hope you...
Oh, my God!

- Freeze, cop-k*ller!
- What? No!

Don't give me another reason!

Vanax. Get your smile back,
but without the desire to build giant robots.

Hi there, Casper.

Someone call UPS.

There's a small package for delivery.

I thought you were a friendly ghost.

Idiot! I'm his brother Jasper.
The douche bag ghost!

¤ Jasper, the douche bag ghost,
the douchiest ghost possessed ¤

¤ He'll call you names
and act real mean ¤

¤ Until you feel depressed ¤

¤ He'll always say... ¤

f*ck you!
Lick my sack, you fairy!

¤ He's so damn crude
and so damn rude ¤

¤ Jasper, the douche bag ghost ¤

We will all miss Annie.

But she truly is in a better place.

Grandma! I'm so glad you're alive!

Herman, you were always
my least favorite grandchild.

Retards!

¤ Jasper, the douche bag ghost ¤

Lick my sack!

- I'll take a Coke.
- Pepsi OK?

Hell, no!
This place sucks, you f... whore!

That's all that's left of him. Poor bastard.

The subject d*ed of natural...
natural causes.

Welcome back, everyone.

I'm still Robot Chicken
executive producer Seth Green.

And I'm still
executive producer Matt Senreich.

Not enough of you have been calling in
to support us getting a third season.

But we'll change all that now.

Co-head writer Douglas Goldstein,
bring out that adorable puppy.

So, listen carefully.
If you guys don't call the number...

on the bottom of the screen right now...

Matt here is gonna shotgun-blast Knuckles'
brains all over the ground. You got it?

So, start calling, b*tches.

We're not kidding.
You have two minutes to call...

- What the f...?
- Sorry. My finger slipped. My bad.

- I thought we weren't gonna k*ll the dog.
- Dude, it slipped. I'm sorry.

OK...

Let's have co-head writer Tom Root
bring out Arnold, the monkey.

Matt, you really gotta be careful, OK, man?

OK, OK.

Arnold, Arnold!
It's OK, it's OK.

It's OK. It's OK, buddy, it's OK.
Come here. It's OK.

OK, now let's get some phone calls...

- Matt, what the hell?!
- Somebody put vaseline on this trigger.

Dude, I put a $ ,
deposit down on that monkey!

- I'm not gonna get that back.
- I'm really sorry.

- Give me the g*n.
- No!

- Give me it!
- No!

- Let go!
- Matt, give me it...

Hello!

Matt! You sh*t the bloopers host!

Seth, listen!

They like the v*olence.
We need more v*olence!

Matt! That's our friend Tom!
He's... What are you doing?!

We can't have a third season
if we don't have any writers!

They love us!
v*olence! Ratings!

Come on!
Higher ratings!

I'm here to pick up the monkey?

Hello?