04x13 - The Reading Game

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Punky Brewster". Aired: September 16, 1984 to March 1986.*
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Follows Punky and her dog, Brandon who have been abandoned by her parents.
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04x13 - The Reading Game

Post by bunniefuu »

Punky!

Brandon, turn off the vacuum.

Punky, this is Saturday.

You're supposed
to be cleaning the house.

Why is Brandon
doing your chores?

We traded jobs.

He's vacuuming

and I'm getting hair
on the couch.

Get to work!

But Cherie's bringing over
her cousin any minute.

So?

So we want her
to be comfortable.

After all she's on vacation.

You know, shoes off,
feet up, vegged out.

- The perfect hostess.
- Hostess!

Brandon, go get the Ding Dongs.

And I better not smell
marshmallows on your breath.

So, what do you know
about Cherie's cousin?

I don't know much.

Her name's Paula.

Her brother's name's Bobby.

Her parents
are on their second honeymoon.

Her favorite things
are waterskiing, potato chips

and freaking out
to the Beastie Boys.

Oh, and by the way,
she's a terrific artist.

You don't know much.

The only thing you missed
was her shoe size.

B.

They're here.

Hi. Paula, this is
my best friend, Punky.

Punky, this is my favorite
cousin, Paula.

Hi, I've heard a lot about you.

Well, knowing Cherie,
that doesn't surprise me.

This is my dad, Henry Warnimont.

- Hi.
- Hi, Paula.

Kick off your Bs and I'll crank
up the Beastie Boys.

Hi, everyone.

This is Paula's brother, Bobby.

I threw up on the bus.

Isn't that special?

No.

He's all worn out from the trip.

He could probably use a nap.

You'd make
a great mother, Henry.

Mind if I put him in your bed?

My bed?
Perhaps you didn't hear.

He just threw up.

Oh, Paula changed his clothes.

Please, just for a minute
till I catch my breath.

Oh, there are a lot of fragile
breakable things in my room.

Well, if you rather I wouldn't,

I could put him
to sleep upstairs

and just sit there all alone.

No one to talk to,
just staring at the walls.

Okay, you can put him
in my room.

But remember my regular policy.

Right.
If you break it, you buy it.

Brandon,
where are the Ding Dongs?

Aha! A marshmallow mustache.

You sneak!

You ate them all!
Go wash your face.

No, don't!
I've got to draw this.

Right, Brandon.

He says he looks better
from his right side.

You like to draw animals?

Yes, sit down you're next.

I beg your pardon.

No, she means
she draws everything.

Paula is a great artist.

We're trying to get her
to enter an art contest

in the Chicago newspaper

if she'll ever fill out
this application.

Back off. I'll do it later.

Gee, you are a great artist.

I bet you'd win that contest.

Bobby, don't touch that.

Don't touch what?

- What was that?
- Oh, nothin'.

Well, I know it's nothing now,
but what was it before?

There, all finished.
What do you think?

Great, if I were Bugs Bunny.

Yoo-hoo, people.
Ready for a touch of class?

Me.

Why is it every time I see her,
I immediately need a Rolaid.

Cherie dear, I just had to meet
your cousin, the artiste.

Imagine my shock to learn
there's someone in your family

with talent.

You must be
the one and only Margaux.

Thank goodness there's only one.

Paula just came from Rockford
on the bus.

Bus?

Margaux doesn't use buses.
She has her own limo.

- I was on a bus once.
- You were?

Yes, I like living on the edge.

- Here you go, girls.
- Thanks.

- Thank you.
- That's great.

How are things in the bedroom?

The same.

Uh, don't worry.
Bobby's okay.

Did he break my antique mirror?

Well, uh, let's just say
you should be real careful

for the next seven years.

Oh.

Hold that look, Mr. Warnimont.

I've almost finished
your sketch.

I love a face like yours
with lots of characters.

She means wrinkles.

Well, you certainly captured
my strength of character

and, uh, rugged good looks.

But she didn't capture
your most prominent feature.

I didn't?

His cheapness.

Here's yours, grandma.

Ooh, I like it.

Too bad the sketchpad
was too small to capture

your most prominent feature.

Toy, toy, toy, toy, toy...

Antique, antique, antique.

Let's go out

and get everybody
some ice cream.

Especially him.

Come. You, me, ice cream.

That sounds awesome.

Let's go quick.

Wait, Henry, Paula didn't draw
a picture of me yet.

She'll draw it when we get back.

Come on, I'm buying.

Come on, Margaux.
Ice cream should interest you.

Because I'm so sweet?

No, because you're a conehead.

You're gonna love this place.
They've got a great new flavor.

Strawberry meatloaf.

Wait, Punky, can you help me
fill out this application?

Sure, we'll do it in the car.
Come on.

We can't.

I don't want Cherie
and Aunt Betty to know.

But they already know
about the contest.

Yeah, but they don't know

that I can't fill out
this application.

But these are simple questions.

Not for me.

Why,
'cause you're from Rockford?

No, 'cause I can't read.

You can't read!

But you're in seventh grade.

Punky, please be a friend.

Help me with this.

- Okay. I guess so.
- Oh, great.

And promise you won't tell
Cherie and Aunt Betty.

It'll be our secret.

Boy, Brandon, I think
she caught the real you.

Okay, maybe the nose
is a little large,

but you're not
exactly a Pekinese.

Great news!

Paula won $
in the art contest!

Congratulations!
I knew you'd win.

And we wanted you to be
the first to know, Punky.

The other part of the prize
was free art lessons.

And she can start
as soon as she enrolls.

Oh?

Will you need help filling
out the enrollment form?

No, thanks.
I'll do it later.

Why would she need help?

Why don't you ask Paula?

What's she talkin' about, Paula?

Yeah, Paula.
What am I talking about?

Okay, I guess
I can tell you, Cherie,

but you can't tell Aunt Betty.

Can't tell her what?

That I can't read.

And I had to help her fill out
that application.

You mean, you couldn't read it
without Punky's help?

How do you get by in school?

I get other kids
to do my homework.

I trade them drawings.

That works?

The school held me back once,

but then I got too big
for my class,

so they passed me.

Paula, you've got to learn
how to read.

Yeah, you can't do anything
if you can't read.

I can draw!

I just made $ , didn't I?

How much have you guys
made reading?

Well...

Nothing.

But you wouldn't
have made a dime

if I hadn't helped you
fill out that application.

Punky, why are you sticking
your nose into my business?

Because I get nosy when I see
people I like goofing up.

I'm not goofin' up.

I'm really good at drawing
and I'm gonna be a artist.

When I get the time,
I'll learn to read.

- And when will that be?
- I'll get to it.

But if my parents find out now,

they'll yank me
out of my art classes

and I'll never get anywhere.

You don't know that.

Cherie, please don't tell on me.

Okay, I won't
if you promise to learn to read.

I promise.

Come on, I'll help you
fill out that enrollment form.

Great.

Cherie.

I'll be right up.

Cherie, I think
you're wrong about this.

She's my cousin.
I have to help her.

Yeah, but what if she waits
till her life's almost over?

Like when she's .

Look, Punky, she's my cousin.

I have to help her.

Yeah, but I don't think
we're helping her

by, by hiding the fact that she
can't read as well as Brandon.

Sorry, Brandon, no offense.

You're not asking me to rat
on my own cousin, are you?

It's not ratting.

Think of how confused she'll be
if she doesn't know how to read.

She won't know the difference
between ladies' room

and cattle crossing.

Punky, you owe me one.

I remember the time
you played hooky from school

to see a movie.

I didn't squeal on you, did I?

Well, no, you didn't.

I covered for you
'cause we're friends

and you threatened
to dynamite my teeth.

- But I got caught anyway.
- That's not the point.

Yes, it is a point.
Paula's gonna get caught too.

Well, I don't wanna
be the one to tell.

And if you were a real friend,
you wouldn't tell either.

Brandon, what'll I do now?

Sorry, Brandon.

- Can't sleep?
- How'd you know?

Well, I figured it was that
or that the cows were holding

midnight practice in here.

Sorry, Henry.
I didn't mean to wake you up.

Oh, that's alright.

- A problem?
- Uh-huh.

Want to tell me about it?

Okay.

I'll tell you.

But you didn't hear it from me.
Get it?

Got it. Tell me.

I've got a big problem
burning in my gut.

Oh, it's probably the
strawberry meatloaf ice cream.

Henry, this is serious.

Well, now you got me worried.

What is it?

It's Paula.

She can't read.


Not at all?

Maybe a little.

Like a second grader.

My goodness.
Does Betty know about this?

No. That's the problem.

Cherie doesn't want me
to rat on Paula.

Oh, you don't have
to rat on her.

- I don't?
- No. I'll do it for you.

Henry... do you have to?

Punky, we don't have
a choice here.

We have to do
what's best for Paula

and this is something
Betty has to know.

I guess you're right

even if I am gonna be known
as Punky the Squealer.

Henry?

Are you tellin' me
my niece can't read?

Yes!

I can't imagine
anything worse than that.

Well, try swallowing hot coffee.

Well, I've known that child
all her life.

Why didn't I see it?

Why didn't her mom and dad
see it?

Maybe they just didn't realize.

Paula's artistic talent
is so outstanding,

they only concentrated on that.

I guess you're right.

We're all so proud
of our children,

it's easy for us not to notice
their shortcomings.

Especially if the kid doesn't
want you to notice.

It happens all the time
with kids

who are outstanding in sports.

Yeah, they only know
football, basketball.

And if they don't
make it in sports,

they don't have an education
to fall back on.

I'm gonna call my brother
and sister-in-law right now.

Oh, Punky's worried about
Cherie being mad at her.

Oh, Cherie better worry about me
bein' mad at her.

Thanks for telling me, Henry.

No problem.

Stop running. Bobby!

Bobby!

Boy, this is the toughest
babysitting job I've ever had.

I like you.

That's because you don't know
what a squealer is.

Tell me a story.

Okay, I know a real cute one
about a little rabbit.

Gotcha. No rabbits.

Okay, we'll make it a dinosaur.

Once there was a dinosaur
named Bobby.

One day,
Bobby the dinosaur was eating

some chocolate chip cookies.

Yummy, yummy.

Yummy, yummy!

They weighed
around pounds each.

We're talkin' heavy cookies!

When suddenly some giant
slime birds flew down

and dropped their purple eggs.
Splat! Splat!

Splat! Splat!

- Punky, you're a sleaze.
- Huh?

Yeah, you told everyone
about Paula.

I only told Henry.

And he told Aunt Betty
and she told my parents.

Now when I get back home, I'm
going to have to have a tutor,

and they're going to put me
in some reading school.

I went to reading school.
It's fun.

Yeah, but no one
told on you, Punky.

You ruined my vacation.

No, she didn't, Paula.

Someday you'll realize
that this is the best thing

that could've happened to you.

I doubt it.

You should be thankin' Punky
for telling Henry about this.

She used a lot of good sense.
More than you did.

Thanks a lot, Punky.

Cherie, wait a minute.
Let me explain.

Paula, I'll be right back.

Don't let him break anything.

I'm going to talk
to those two girls.

- Tell me a story.
- Not right now, Bobby.

I'm in a real bad mood.

But I'll draw a picture of you.

I'll get some paper
from Punky's room.

Drink.

Drink.

Bobby?

Bobby?

Bobby?

Oh, it hurts.

Bobby?

What's the matter?
Did you drink this?

Don't worry, Bobby.
Don't worry. I'll get help.

I'll call .

emergency.

Hello, my brother just drank
from a bottle of stuff

under the sink in the kitchen.
I don't know what to do...

Now calm down.
Your address registered

when you called.
I'm sending somebody right now.

But what do I do?
He looks real sick.

Do you have the bottle
your brother drank out of?

Yes, I've got it.
It's right here.

Okay, now there's a label on it

that tells you what to do
in case someone swallows it.

- Read it to me.
- Read it?

- Yes.
- I can't read it!

- Is the label worn off?
- No, I... I can't read!

- You can't read? At all?
- A... a little.

You gotta try.
It's very important.

Paula, it hurts.

w*r...

ni...

ning...

It's no use! I can't read!

- I'm not a rat.
- Oh, yeah?

Then why do you always eat
so much cheese?

You've got to do something fast!
He could die!

- What?
- Paula!

- What's the matter?
- Bobby drank this.

Fabric softener?

Here, read them
what's on the bottle.

Hello, what do you
want me to read?

Just read what it says to do

after "Warning if swallowed."

It says, "If swallowed,
drink large quantities of milk."

Milk? I'll get it!

Paula, it hurts.

Please, hurry!

Don't worry, Bobby.
You're gonna be okay.

Well, that was a close call,
but Bobby's going to be fine.

You were smart to call .

Yeah, but once I got
on the phone,

I was totally useless.

- Boy, was I dumb.
- You're not dumb, Paula.

Well, I sure was dumb
not to learn how to read.

It almost cost me
my brother's life.

So are you gonna learn
how to read now?

Yup.

And you know what I'm gonna
learn to read first?

- What?
- Every bottle under the sink.

Well, Bobby finished his soup
and now he's off to dreamland.

That little angel.

Finally,
things are back to normal.

Oh, Lord.

This is about as normal
as it gets around here.
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