04x16 - Bad Dog

[bunniefuu]

It's gonna be great having you
live right above me, Leslie.

Just think,
my ceiling's your floor.

Wow, that's deep, Punky.

Leslie, it must've been neat
living in California.

Did you go
to Disneyland every day?

Well, practically.

For the first year,
you have mouse fever.

My mom even said they should've
named a ride after me.

Then we moved to Orlando.

Wow.
Disneyland and Disney World.

You've done it all.

It's not that.

Movin' around so much
can be a drag.

As soon as you make friends
or get used to a school,

it's time to move again.

Yeah, but just think,
you can flunk a test in Boston

and nobody finds out
till you're in Detroit.

Bonjour, people!

Prepare yourselves for a treat.

Can you guess
what's about to happen?

Yeah, some guys in white coats

are gonna lock you up
in a padded cell.

No, silly.

It's time for my spring recital.

- Which ballet are you doing?
- "Sleeping Beauty."

I bet Beauty won't be
the only one who's sleeping.

So how many tickets
do you Margaux groupies want?

Margaux, you know, we'd love
to see you take a leap,

but we're busy that night.

- Hi, girls.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Gardening is so relaxing.

I can't wait to get my hands
into that dirt.

Yes, sometimes you just have
to stop and smell the Bandini.

- Good afternoon, art patrons.
- Oh!

I'm sure the two of you
will be interested

in purchasing some tickets
to my ballet.

Is it recital time again?

We were just there a year ago.

They're quite inexpensive.

Even you can afford this,
Mr. Warnimont.

Well...

we'll take four.

Thank you, sir.
You can pay me later.

There are no pockets in a tutu.

Au revoir.

Old reservoir to you,
too, Margaux.

Thanks a lot, Henry.

Oh, Punky, seeing Margaux's
recital won't k*ll you.

What if it does?
Are you prepared

to live with that kind of guilt?

Yes.

Okay.

Here we have Brussel sprouts.
Uh-huh.

Cauliflower. Hm.

And... broccoli.

Do you have to plant vegetables?

Yes. This soil isn't good
for growing pizzas.

- Hello.
- Hi, mom.

- How was work?
- Okay, honey.

But it's nice
to finally be home.

You always work on Saturday,
Mrs. Jenner?

Well, it's either that
or work nights

and I don't like
to leave Leslie alone.

I finished all my chores, mom.

Punky and Cherie were just
showing me around.

Oh, that's nice.

I hope that Leslie hasn't been
getting on your nerves.

Oh, not at all. No.

Our nerves are kid-proofed.

Brandon, what's this?

My pants, that's what.

I was in the laundry room
trying to take a stain out

and this mutt ran off with them.

Well, he was only trying
to put them where they belong.

In the garbage.

What are you laughin' at,
Spider Woman?

Brandon does not mean any harm.

He's just playing.

I've had it
with this hound, Warnimont.

He barks all night and now
he's stealing my clothes.

I'm sorry, Mr. Frank.

I just can't imagine
what's gotten into him lately.

Well, I'm sure that everybody in
the building would appreciate it

if something could be done
about the barking.

Uh, Leslie, I want you
to stay away from that dog.

He could be dangerous.

Oh, Brandon wouldn't hurt
a flea.

Trust me, he's got millions
of them and he's never hurt one.

Well, nevertheless, I don't want
Leslie around that dog.

That animal should be muzzled
and tied up,

preferably to a runaway train.

Don't tell me
he's starting up again.

It's the third night in a row.

Brandon, what is it, boy?

M... maybe he misses Fefe,
his girlfriend.

She hasn't sent
a single postcard

since she left for Paris.

Oh, if he'll shut up, I'll fly
her back on the Concorde.

He must be hearing something
we can't hear.

- But what?
- I don't know.

Oh, that's all I need.

Another nightly visit
from irate neighbors.

Good evening, folks.

I don't suppose you're here
to borrow a cup of sugar.

No. Earplugs.

This is the third night in a row
I've been down here

and it's not because
I like your face.

I'm sorry, I just don't know
what's wrong with Brandon.

Well, maybe you should think
of sending him

to obedience school.

Oh, is that where you took
your charm lessons?

Oh.

If I wasn't such a lady,
I'd tap dance on your teeth.

Mr. Warnimont,
I have had a very long day

and the last thing I need is

another night
of constant barking.

Now you understand
that under these conditions,

you can't hold me to a lease.

That dog is impossible.

See what I mean!

Brandon, settle down, boy!

I'm warning you, Warnimont.

One more incident
and I'm calling the authorities.

Henry, I never thought I'd agree
with Frank 'The Crank, '

but something's got to be done
about Brandon.

Yes, I understand.
I'll take care of it.

Thanks for calling.

That was the Department
Of Animal Regulation.

The dog catchers?

Boy, Mr. Frank sure loves
to make trouble.

It's not just Mr. Frank.

They got quite a few calls.

Oh, really?

One man said that the barking
sounded like a pack

of wild dogs
fighting over raw meat.

And another caller said
the barking

woke up his dead grandfather.

Then there was a call
from a little girl

who said that
she loved the barking

and the dog sounded
so sweet and kind.

Really?

Sounds like a very bright
little girl.

Nice try, Punky.

Oh, I'm at the end of my rope.

I've got to do something
about these complaints.

But w... what?

I don't know.

There must be some reason
for Brandon's strange behavior.

Maybe he needs
a doggy psychiatrist.

Punky...

we may have to muzzle him.

No! We can't put a muzzle
on Brandon.

It would break his heart.

Mrs. Jenner?

- That dog of yours...
- What happened?

He bit me.
That's what happened.

He couldn't have.
Brandon!

Are you alright?
Should I call a doctor?

Oh, don't bother.

I'm gonna call my own doctor

and then I'm going to call
the authorities

and see to it that
that animal is put to sleep.

No.

Brandon, this is very important.

Now listen with both ears.

A man is coming to see you.

He's from the Department
Of Animal Regulation.

You've gotta show him
what a good dog you are.

No barking, no growling,

no snapping
and definitely, no biting.

Got it?

I hope that means yes.

Did you remember to check
for doggy breath?

Don't worry, he's minty fresh.

Now remember, we've got
to convince this guy

what a great dog Brandon is.

I'll tell him about the time

Brandon ran
into a burning building,

climbed three flights of stairs,
broke down the door

and rescued a little baby.

Brandon never did that.

No, but he could if he had to.

Now, girls, no burning
buildings, no fancy stories.

We'll just tell the truth
and hope for the best.

Good afternoon,
I'm Officer Nichols.

- Are you Mr. Warnimont?
- Yes, please come in.

Is the animal in question
on the premises?

Yes, right there.

S... say hello, Brandon.

Go ahead.
He's a pussycat.

I don't really mean he's a cat.
He's a p*ssy-dog.

We love Brandon.

He's the sweetest,
most generous dog

in the whole world.

He's very shy.

Not according to our records.

There've been
numerous complaints

filed against your dog.

Oh, I'm sure
they're greatly exaggerated.

Brandon's always been
very obedient and well behaved.

Not only that,
but he's very well groomed,

he's got good breath
and he's a marvelous cook.

Cook?

Oh, good.

Brandon prepared a little treat.

No, thanks.
It could be considered a bribe.

Uh, now,

uh, regarding these complaints,

there have been of them,

and the first
came from a Mr. Frank.

Mr. Frank contends
that the dog viciously barks,

growls and snaps at him
on a regular basis.

Oh, thank you.

Aren't you the most
thoughtful little doggy?

Uh, and Mr. Frank also contends
that the dog wants him dead.

Uh, yes.

Uh, are you absolutely certain
this is the animal in question?

Mr. Frank complains
about everything.

It's his hobby.

But that still doesn't explain
a much more serious complaint

from a Mrs. Jenner.

It was only a small bite.

Mrs. Jenner claims
that the dog,

though unprovoked,
savagely att*cked her.

That doesn't sound like Brandon.

Nonetheless, he did bite
Mrs. Jenner

and the law states that we have
to keep him under observation

for ten days
to check for rabies.

- No, you can't arrest him!
- Punky.

Sorry, folks.

I'm sure Brandon is a great dog

and probably brews
a great cup of coffee,

but the rules are the rules.

I'll have to take him.

May I talk to him for a second
before you take him away?

Oh, sure.

Brandon, be a good dog.

Remember your manners.

Don't worry.

You'll be back home again
real soon.

Let's go, pal.

Dear Brandon, I can't believe

it's only been four days.

Seems like four months.

I sure miss you.

The Woperman's cat dug up
your bone again.

Don't worry.
I'll rebury it for you.

I hope they're giving you
enough to eat.

Henry said
I might be able to visit you,

but sleeping over's definitely
out of the question.

I think Henry misses you
as much as I do.

Almost.

Hi, Leslie.

- Hi, Punky.
- How's your mom's hand?

Oh, much better.

It really was just a scratch.

Hey, what happened to your eye?

Oh, you'll never believe it.

I fell over our coffee table.

You know, sometimes I think

I have my feet on backwards.

Don't feel bad.

Sometimes I trip
when I'm sitting down.

Nice picture of Brandon.

Thanks.

I miss him so much.

You know, Leslie,

I was thinking
maybe you could talk your mom

into saying it really wasn't
Brandon who bit her.

That it was a big,
huge, vicious bird

that flew down and att*cked her?

You really want me to say that?

I guess not.
That would be a lie.

Guess you don't wanna be friends
with me now

since mom's the reason
Brandon's in trouble.

Leslie, don't be silly.

Of course, I'll still
be your friend.

I can't blame you
for what your mom did.

You're just
an innocent bystander.

Mr. Warnimont, you can't deny
that the dog bit me.

But if you'll just give
Brandon another chance.

We'll muzzle him.
We'll keep him inside.

I'm sorry, I think
the animal should be put away.

No, Mrs. Jenner, please!

Punky, I'll take care of this.

Leslie, take those
groceries upstairs.

Yes, ma'am.

Mom, please
don't punish Brandon.

Leslie, you saw the dog
att*ck me.

But it... but it was
just trying to protect me.

I know you have to punish me
'cause I'm always so bad.

But don't punish Brandon.

This subject is closed.

Mom, please, he just didn't
understand why you hit me.

What does she mean, you hit her?

She doesn't know
what she's talking about.

Leslie, upstairs. Now!

Punky, you stay here.
I have to talk to Mrs. Jenner.

Excuse us, please.

Uh, I'm on my way to the market.

Can I bring her a chuck steak
for that eye?

No, thank you.
I'll take care of it.

Uh, Mrs. Jenner,
I wanna talk to you.

It'll have to be
some other time.

No.

I think we better talk
right now.

Alright.

- Would you join us, Betty?
- Sure, Henry. What's up?

- Mrs. Jenner, please...
- I don't think...

Please sit down.

Mrs. Jenner,
you gave Leslie

that black eye, didn't you?

What?

Mr. Warnimont,
this is none of your business.

Wait a minute.

Something as serious as this
is everybody's business.

You don't understand.
I love my daughter.

I'm not some kind of a monster.

I'm not saying you are, but
we're concerned about Leslie.

Well, I appreciate that,
but we don't need your help.

I can handle this.

Maybe, but can Leslie handle?

After all, the child's
the one who suffers.

You know, as a nurse,
I'm required by law

to report any incident
of child abuse to the police.

Ah, child abuse?

Look, I just lost my temper.

Well, I may have overreacted.

This won't happen again.

How do you know
it won't happen again?

Are you being honest
with yourself?

I am working two jobs.

I'm under a lot of stress.

Sometimes I just
find myself screaming

and Leslie
is the only one there.

Oh, Brandon must have heard you.
That's why he was barking.

It's very hard
being a single parent.

But it's no disgrace
to ask for help.

I love my little girl!

She is the most important
thing in my life.

I... I don't want to hurt her.

Of course, you don't.

And there's no doubt
that you love Leslie.

There's a group
of parents that meets

at the hospital where I work.

It's called Parents Anonymous.

I'd be happy to take you there.

Will you go?

Yes.

I want help.

I do. I...

I don't wanna hurt Leslie
ever again.

Oh.

I can't wait to see
what Brandon looks like

after ten days in the slammer.

We're here.

Tada!

Welcome home, Brandon!

I love you. I love you.
I love you!

You'll never have to go to
the big house again, I promise.

Brandon, we have a terrific
surprise for you.

Okay, cover his eyes.

♪ For he's a jolly good doggie ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good doggie ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good doggie ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

Fefe's back in town!