02x12 - Grammy

Episode transcripts for the TV show "PEN15". Aired: February 8, 2019 –; December 3, 2021*
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Comedy series that depicts middle school as it really is.
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02x12 - Grammy

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[AMBIENT MUSIC]

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

♪ ♪

Driver.

Are we almost there?

[SPANISH RADIO CHATTER]

[RADIO VOLUME INCREASES]

RADIO ANNOUNCER: Goal!

[SHOUT CONTINUES]

[CLEARS THROAT]

ANNOUNCER: [SPEAKING SPANISH]

["Demirep" by Bikini k*ll]
SINGER: ♪ I ♪

♪ I am hiding ♪

♪ The you I show to you ♪

♪ Is just a lie ♪

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Right after that, I
snapped his headphones.

Did your parents react?

They stay out of it.
They don't really give a sh*t.

Eager Anna.

Thank you. Um, I just wanted to say

that what you all are going through

is intense but wonderful.

Kudos.

For me, I have a hamster,

and my Dad got it for me.

Its name is Daddy
'cause I named it that,

and I love it.

Couldn't help but feel like
maybe my Dad is just trying

to sweeten me up by getting me the pet

because he wants me to live
with him, not with my mom.

Yeah, wow, y-you don't have any problems

opening up and sharing, do you?

You remind me of my mailman.

Thank you.

Um, and actually...

just going between the two places...

my mom's place and my dad's place...

it's hard,

and my mom is, like, always late.

Always.

And my Dad is grumpier.

And he didn't get the house,

and I'm just like, if
he doesn't get me, too,

I don't know what he's gonna do.

You talk like you're , kind of.

Thank you.

And that's actually a good thing,

because most people don't reach
their full potential

until they're at least .

Oh, my goodness, it's
time for us to wrap it up.

Thank you for opening up
and sharing, everyone.

Get all your stuff.
Don't forget your shoes.

Oh, it's just my shoes. [LAUGHS]

Remember to breathe. Ciao!

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

- Thanks, Tina.
- TINA: See ya.

What's up?

Hey.

So, uh, you seeing the world

through rose-colored lenses now?

[LAUGHS]

No, seriously, I don't get
what the point of it is

'cause, like, they just listen

and they, like, don't
give you advice, you know?

Yeah. Yeah.

DR. ROBINS: Basically, we
diagnose based on a spectrum,

and Maya happens to be
a little bit above average

on that spectrum.

Maya, do you have trouble focusing?

No, I'm actually really smart.

Oh, I know you're very
smart. That's not the issue.

Attention Deficit Disorder
is actually quite common,

and many of our patients
have found success

taking methylphenidate hydrochloride.

Medication for this?

It is a stimulant,

but it actually has the opposite effect

on kids who have ADD.

It helps them focus.

Maya, then you just
better pay more attention.

- I do.
- That's all this is.

- Stop. Stop.
- No. [WHINES]

You know,

Maya is jumping off
the walls like crazy.

And I love that about
you, darling, I do.

But not at school.

And with every medication,
there are some side effects.

Most commonly, increased heart rate.

But the benefits do
outweigh any discomfort.

No, I don't wanna take the medicine

if it's gonna speed up my heart.

Once you acknowledge the problem,

she can have extra time on tests

and other assistance that can
help Maya improve her scores.

Extended time on testing?

Yeah, as much time as you need.

We'll talk about it at home.

I think I wanna take the medicine.

- FRED: No.
- We'll talk about it.

Mom, I wanna take it!

Oh. Stop. Stop.

[WHINES]

Maya...

uh, how do you feel
about fluorescent lights?

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

I don't feel good about
fluorescent lights.

Anna.

Anna. Anna.

Stop. What are you...

[SCOFFS]

Oh, just stare at whatever you want.

Like, so stupid.

- They're crazy.
- I know.

I like that, uh...

I like when your mom's late. [LAUGHS]

- ANNA: Oh, yeah?
- Which is, like, all the time.

- [HORN HONKING]
- ANNA: I know.

Ope.

[HORN HONKING]

- Hey.
- I know, I'm late.

ANNA: Yeah.

Who's that guy?

Who are you talking about?

- KATHY: Mr. Loser.
- There's no one there.

KATHY: There's a guy right there.

Doesn't even know how to ride his bike.

I don't know who that is.

He's in Teens in Need.

KATHY: Okay. Just get in the back.

Irlen syndrome
is a light sensitivity

that can contribute
to reading difficulties,

headaches, trouble concentrating.

But what can help...

Is wearing these special glasses.

Do I have to wear these
all day, like, every day?

Well...

Look at Haley Joel
Osment on the red carpet.

He has Irlen syndrome.

He looks great. Very cool.

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

I love it.

And I know you want me
to do my own laundry.

About that...

But I'm just... it's hard

with all the Teens in
Need and everything.

I can't have dirty underwear.

- KATHY: Thank you.
- I got it.

KATHY: But maybe, just maybe,

I've found someone to help us with that.

Maybe, just maybe, what?

KATHY: Found someone to help.

Found someone to help us with that?

[GASPS]

A maid?

Mom. A maid?

KATHY: Surprise!

Oh, you're late.

Huh.

Grammy.

- Oh, my. Oh, my.
- [CHUCKLES]

Oh, and here I am as a surprise.

I was going to help out
for the foreseeable future.

- How are you?
- Hello. Yeah.

You know, I keep telling you
this, and you don't listen.

You're slouching.

And if you continue to slouch,
you're going to get

one of those stomach pooches
just like your mother.

Ha-ha. Mom, stop.

Oh, well.

I think I'm going to go
and make us some dinner.

ANNA: Okay. Thanks, Grammy.

- Mm-hmm.
- Love you.

Well, yes, thank you.

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Bring the groceries.

NARRATOR: Near the volcano,

it is distinguished
by a network of cracks.

[DOOR CREAKS]

[NARRATOR CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]

[WHISPERING] Where were you?

[WHISPERING] My Grammy
just moved in with us.

- What?
- Yeah.

- That's crazy.
- ANNA: Yeah.

What? I love these.

I have to wear them 'cause I have ADD

and Irlen syndrome.

And literally, like, I have
to take this medication

that can speed up your
heart rate and k*ll you.

- Wait, what?
- MAYA: Yeah.

- Maya.
- MAYA: I know.

- I can't lose you.
- I know.

Shh. Girls. Movie.

And Maya, no Oakleys in the classroom.

[NORMAL VOLUME] I actually
have Irlen syndrome.

Um...

and I need to wear these
'cause they're prescribed.

So... yeah.

And I'm also supposed
to be on medication right now,

but I'm not on it.

So I'm just having,
like, a really hard day.

Hey, Bowl Cut. "The Matrix" called.

Neo wants his glasses back.

- [WHISPERING]
- Haley Joel Osment wears them.

[WHISPERING] So did you hear
from Steve's friend Derrick?

Did he call you?

You mean the high schooler
that's gonna be my boyfriend?

- ANNA: Yeah.
- No, he hasn't.

But I'm just kind of, like, waiting.

- I feel like any day now.
- Yeah.

When he does, we're
gonna go on double dates.

[BOTH GIGGLE]

Um...

wait, if your Grammy is living with you,

does that mean I can still
sleep over tonight or no?

Oh, my mom's gonna
take us to Blockbuster.

MS. BELL: Shh!

Sorry. [LAUGHS]

[WHISPERING] She's such a bitch.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

Hi, Mr. Corlado...

- Anna, stop.
- Stop.

[CAR HONKING]

Oh, my God. Why is my mom honking?

- Oh, my God.
- What is she doing?

Why is she doing that?

[CAR HONKING]

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

- Come on, come on.
- Get in, get in.

Oh, hi, honey. Come on in.

No, not there. I have my oxygen t*nk.

♪ ♪

Wait, is that your Grammy?

- Yeah.
- GRAMMY: Get in the backseat.

That's good.

I didn't know you were picking us up.

GRAMMY: Well...
MAYA: Hi.

Well, no, Mom is very busy
with her "rackas" clients.

[HORN HONKS]

It's reiki, but...

- [MUTTERING]
- Racka, reiki, ra...

Did you know... did you know
that your mother went through

a whole year of her RN,

and then she met your Dad.

[HORN HONKS]

And we all know how that worked out.

Yeah.

Is she blind?

Um, hi, Grammy. I'm Maya.

It's Mrs. Ryan.

Um, Grammy, can we go to Blockbuster?

'Cause my mom was gonna take us.

[HORN HONKING]

- No.
- Sorry, Grammy?

GRAMMY: Yeah?

Um, you don't have to honk,

'cause it'll move.

Don't tell me what to do.

[HORN HONKING]

If you learned how to type,

it meant you wanted to be a secretary.

So we took Home Economics
so we could get a good husband.

[HORN HONKING]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Mom?

- Where are we going?
- This way.

Thank you.

Mom?

You don't have to yell so much.

I mean, you're a tall girl
with a tall voice to match.

Let's go.

Sorry.

You know, I still wanna
have my hair done today.

Where do I put my stuff?

Just wherever. Maya,
you've been here before.

- Oh, my God.
- Maya, don't... yeah.

It's, like, stuck.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, you gotta watch these things.

They're lethal.

- Yeah.
- Okay. Okay.

It's stuck. Okay. It's
kinda hard to steer.

GRAMMY: True.

- "Went out with Ramona.
- Enjoy your movie."

It's just us tonight.

Well, let's take a look at this.

- [WHISPERING]
- Can we go to your room?

- [WHISPERING] Yeah. One sec.
- GRAMMY: Oh, here it is.

Honey, would you please
call the salon for me?

I want to have my hair done today...

- Okay.
GRAMMY: With... with Sheryl.

And do not let them
try to sell you on Theresa

because your mother tells me
she doesn't know one thing.

[PHONE BEEPING]

[LINE RINGING]

Yes. Did Theresa do your hair?

We're sorry, La Moda Hair Salon

is currently closed. [PHONE BEEPS]

Uh, Grammy, they're closed.

Well, call again. Maybe
you got the wrong number.

I got the voicemail.
It's definitely them.

They're just closed,
but I can call again tomorrow.

Well, if you hadn't been
lollywagging so much at school,

maybe we could have gotten here

and I could have gotten my hair done.

You're just like your mother.

- Yeah.
- MAYA: Sorry.

- Sorry, Grammy.
- Sorry, Grammy.

Could you get me something
to drink with my pills dear?

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Okay, Grammy.
- GRAMMY: Good.

No, no, no. Just you.

Come... you come back, Maya. Come back.

- ANNA: Maya, she wants you.
- You can go alone.

You don't need Maya.

Anna, wait.

Oh, um, help.

Do you need...

She's not gonna be gone long, darling.

She's not gonna be...
she'll be right back.

- Okay.
- I know that.

Yes.

Sorry.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

You know, I have ADD,
so I have to take pills too.

You have ADD? Hmm.

♪ ♪

Well, you know, everyone only has

a certain amount of
beats in their lifetime.

Really?

That's why I'm so very quiet and still.

Oh, my God.

I got you water. Two cubes, Grammy.

Oh, darling, you know I don't
drink water with my pills.

I only take sherry.

Oh, okay.

♪ ♪

MAYA: Oh, okay...

You sit down.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[WHEEZING]

Gra... grammy?

[WHEEZING]

Uh, Anna?

Anna?

[BREATHING STEADIES]

Are you okay?

Where do you come from, dear?

Because you have such
Mongoloid features.

Excuse me, ladies. I'm Anna Kone.

I'll be your server.

Honey, no.

You know I don't take
water with my pills.

I take sherry.

- She has sherry, Grammy.
- Oh, good.

Um, I brought you some
stacked crackers and cheese

because I love you.

Did you wash your hands

before making me the
cheese and crackers?

Um...

Just do it. Just do it.

- ANNA: Sorry, Grammy.
- Please... that's right.

Do I need to wash my hands too?

Yesterday.

ANNA: Did you wash
your hands really well?

Yes. Wait, Anna, wait.

Do we have to hang out
with her the whole time?

I mean, I know I'm exhausted.

The funny thing is that
she was actually here to help.

I feel like she hates me.

She hates me so much more.

GRAMMY: [WHEEZING]

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

GRAMMY: [CLEARS THROAT]

Oh, my God, this is gonna
be my entire childhood.

- GRAMMY: [COUGHS]
- Okay, we should go.

No, let's play. Please.

- Maya, I wish I could.
- MAYA: [GROANS]

Grammy.

This sucks.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Are you okay, Grammy?

I wanted to have my hair done.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[HAIR DRYER WHIRRING]

♪ ♪

Do you like your nails, Grammy?

♪ ♪

Well, you kinda shake a lot.

Okay. Are you ready to look?

Yeah.

Okay, Grammy.

Anna, you're good at this.

Very good.

Oh. [CHUCKLES] Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Welcome, Grammy.

Pretty.

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Sorry today was kinda boring.

Thanks for doing my Grammy's nails.

MAYA: It's okay.


Sorry you have ADD.

And Irlen syndrome.

Are you gonna sleep
with your glasses on?

Oh, no.

Can't do that.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

[TRANQUIL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[DISTANT SCREAM]

[DISTANT SCREAM]

Anna.

Mom?

- Oh, my God.
- What? Stop. Stop.

Stop.

ANNA: Mom?

Wait.

Anna, wait.

Mom?

KATHY: [SOBBING]

Mom?

KATHY: [SOBBING]

She's gone.

Oh.

KATHY: [SOBBING]

- Such a psycho.
- [SHOUTING] Side, side, side!

You're about to go to a funeral.

What's your problem?

[SPEAKING JAPANESE]

You're acting like Looney Tunes.

Take this pill.

No, I don't wanna take the pill.

- I don't wanna die!
- Dame.

[SPEAKING JAPANESE]

There's only so many
heartbeats in a lifetime.

I don't wanna die.

Just take it.

Am I gonna die?

No.

[SOMBER ORGAN MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Thank you.

- Fine, you keep them.
- Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for coming.

Thank you for coming. It means a lot.

I took my medicine, but
I don't feel it yet.

Okay.

Say something nice to Anna.

Yeah. Sorry about your G-ma.

- [WHISPERING]
- Should I go now? Okay.

You better go now.

- Right now?
- With Anna.

She still has my nail polish on.

Oh, yeah.

She kinda looks weird.

Yeah.

Do you feel sad?

- Right now?
- Yeah.

Oh, um...

Sort of.

- I will later, I think.
- Yeah.

Okay.

Bye, Grammy.

Bye, Grammy.

[WHISPERING] That was weird.

Yeah.

Um, if everyone wouldn't
mind taking a seat,

I'd like to say a few
words about my mother.

Oh, before I forget, lunch
will be served upstairs.

It's nothing elaborate,

but we hope you'll stay
and share your memories.

Oh, my God. Is that Derrick?

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

- They're here.
- My God, Derrick is so fine.

[SOFT MUSIC]

KATHY: Okay.
MAYA: [SNORTS]

- [BOTH GIGGLING]
- KATHY: Okay.

All right.

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

Geraldine Olay Ryan.

Olay is her middle name?

- I didn't...
- Stop.

KATHY: My mom.

Geraldine Olay Ryan.

[BOTH GIGGLE]

She was a character.

She didn't smile a lot.

[WHISPERING] No, she didn't.

Geraldine Olay Ryan was a mother

that I loved very much.

[BOTH GIGGLING QUIETLY]

Yame nasai.

KATHY: When I found her facedown,

- sprawled out...
- [GIGGLES]

KATHY: It's an image that
I won't get out of my head.

That's quite enough, young lady.

With the oxygen t*nk
blowing air to no one.

Where was I?

She was the first to graduate
college in her family.

And I'm really grateful
that my daughter and I

got to spend her last days...

with her.

BOTH: [CHOKED GIGGLES]

I want cheese with that.

- Ow!
- That was so inappropriate.

Stop. It's not my fault.

That was Anna. She started it.

Do you need to take more medicine?

No. I don't even feel it yet.

[SPEAKING JAPANESE]

I don't even feel it.

Oh, wait. Mama?

Mom?

I think I'm feeling it
now. [VOICE DISTORTS]

[RISING CLASSICAL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[FRANTIC OPERATIC MUSIC]

[MAKING BUZZING NOISE]

♪ ♪

Anna.

♪ ♪

Excuse me.

♪ ♪

[BABBLING INDISTINCTLY]

[MUSIC STOPS]

Thank you.

Sorry, um, for what I did.

Like, my reaction wasn't, like, normal.

- It's okay.
- Really?

Yeah.

I think maybe it is normal.

It's okay.

[FRANTIC, OPERATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[SHOUTS]

♪ ♪

Pretty freaky, huh?

I'm on methylphenidate
hydrochloride right now.

I tried that once. It was fun.

I'm Derrick. Wassup?

I'm Maya.

I know.

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Thank you.

Who is that?

[LAUGHS] I don't know.

Hey.

ANNA: Hey, Dad.

How you guys doing?

- Great.
- Yeah.

Again, Kath, I'm sorry.

She was unique.

[CHUCKLES]

I loved her too.

No, you didn't.

Yes, I did.

I mean, I know... I know
she was hard on you

and she messed up a bit, you know,

here and there.

But I know how proud of you she is.

- Was.
- Was.

Yeah, maybe, I don't...

Thank you.

- I'm gonna go, okay?
- Okay.

That laughing, not funny.

- Dad.
- I'm serious.

I'm sorry.

You have a little bit of
growing up to do, all right?

- Okay. Stop. Not now.
- It's too much.

Take care of your mom, all right?

She needs you.

Okay.

ANNA: Bye. Love you.

Sweet of him to come.

Curtis. Sometimes Curt.

STEVE: Steven. Sometimes Steve.

Yeah, it is.

Most of the time Steve.

So I brought my fried Maya.

No, I don't wanna speak right now.

- Hi, Maya.
- Hi, Maya.

Sorry, she doesn't wanna
speak right now.

So...

um, but for me, I'll just say that, um,

I'm afraid that...

my Dad is really mad at me right now.

And that's because I...

told him that I wanted
to live with my mom.

And I told him over the phone.

And I could tell by just
the tone of his voice

that he was really, really sad.

I don't want to disappoint him,

but I told him that my
mom needs me right now

'cause my Grammy just passed.

I'm just really worried about him.

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss.

TEEN: I'm so sorry for your loss.

TEEN: Sorry for your loss.

- Thanks, Sasha.
- I'm good, actually.

I'm not good, but I'm okay.

She's okay, 'cause...

you, like, laughed during the eulogy,

so it's not, like, that sad.

Well, it's just that a
word struck me funny,

but I'm not... No, I know.

You laughed, too, so I don't
know why you'd say that.

Yeah, well, it's not my Grammy, though.

- Like...
- I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

I have ADD and Irlen syndrome.

Oh.

Well, thank you so
much for sharing, Maya.

You're welcome.

- [RAPPING]
- ♪ Lost on a island ♪

♪ Catch me drinking pee-pee water ♪

♪ Lost in the forest ♪

♪ While I'm drinking pee-pee water ♪

♪ Got no fluids ♪

♪ Catch me drinking pee-pee water ♪

- ♪ Drinking pee-pee water ♪
- STEVE: [CLEARS THROAT]

Oh.

Nice, nice.

Stop.

Hey.

- STEVE: Sup?
- DERRICK: What's up?

MAYA: What's up?

ANNA: What's up?

STEVE: Hey.
ANNA: [CLEARS THROAT]

Do you wanna be my girlfriend?

No.

On Opposite Day.

Sick.

[SOFT MUSIC]

Yeah, of course.

♪ ♪

- Good afternoon.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]

Good afternoon.

Do you have your meds?

Like, no, on opposite day.

- So is that yeah?
- MAYA: Yeah.

You can have tomorrow's if you want.

Cool.

'Cause I'm not gonna
take that one. Here.

- Yeah. Oh.
- Oh, sorry.

DERRICK: It's all good.

[BLOWS]

It's still good. I've taken worse.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

So, um,

do you wanna be my boyfriend?

- Your glasses are weird.
- [LAUGHS]

Okay.

'Kay.

- Oh.
- Okay.

[SOFT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

That's gonna hit nice.

♪ ♪

[ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[SILENCE]

I'm getting dizzy.

MAYA: Me too.

Mom, did you do my laundry?

KATHY: No, it's your responsibility.

Are you kidding?

Ugh.

I already used both sides!

KATHY: Look on your bed, sweetie.

My bed?

Grammy's hand-me-downs.

She'd want you to have them. Enjoy.

Ew.

KATHY: They're from Grammy!

[SIGHS]

Thanks, Grammy.

Ew.

KATHY: Anna?

[SHOUTING] I'm coming!
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