02x13 - Luminaria

Episode transcripts for the TV show "PEN15". Aired: February 8, 2019 –; December 3, 2021*
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Comedy series that depicts middle school as it really is.
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02x13 - Luminaria

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[GENTLE MUSIC]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

MAYA: It's weird D isn't here yet.

ANNA: He's coming. He is!

MAYA: I brought him my
Thursday pill, look.

ANNA: Hi. How are you?

I'm your neighbor from down the street.

How are you?

Good. Is this the
wrapping paper project?

Because I'm cooking something.

I get all my gift wrapping at
the Christmas Tree shop, so...

This is for the Walk for Cancer.

Yeah and it's through

my Unitarian Church in Conchamaguet.

Um, we're just selling luminaries.

So if I can just have
another moment of your time.

"You can choose a message
for your survivor"

"or beloved deceased
you want to remember."

"We'll write it for you on a bag."

No, no, I'm sorry. No, thank you.

Bitch.

- Oh, my God.
- What are you doing?

- I didn't think she heard.
- The door was so open.

- Geez.
- Ha!

We know you're there.

You've, like, done it three times.

- [LAUGHS] I keep forgetting.
- So stupid.

- Stop. Don't do that.
- Did...

Did D answer yet?

'Cause he said he was
going to be here at three.

- Steve.
- Steve.

- I'm still waiting for his page.
- Okay.

If you think a thing is impossible,

- you will make it impossible.
- [LAUGHS]

[PAGER BEEPS]

STEVE: Babe, stop.

MAYA: Shwank! Got your beeper! I got it!

- You look nice today.
- No, I don't.

MAYA: Can't even get this thing to work.

[WHINES]

I'm doing something good for the world.

How?

My, God. D's not coming, you guys.

You guys!

Cool. Third wheel.

Hey, you guys. D's not coming.

- Boo, I don't care.
- Maya, my back.

- Sorry.
- Oh, my God.

It just, like, sucks. He's not coming.

Okay, I'm sorry.

MAYA: You didn't get mad at Steve when

he jumped on your back,
but you did when I did.

ANNA: Well, that's because
he didn't put pressure on it.

- You know I have a bad back.
- MAYA: I'm sorry.

ANNA: So am I.

Oh, my God.

Hi, how are you? Would you like to buy

a luminary for the Walk
for Cancer, please?

MAYA: I like your hair.

You're very cute. Are you fifth graders?

Um, "so you can choose
a message for your survivor"

"or beloved deceased
that you want to remember.

"And we'll write it for you on the bag.

"The... " "The message

"is a celebration of
a loved one touched by cancer.

"And on the night of the walk,
each bag becomes a luminary

"lit within by a candle and that light.

- "Reminiscent...
- ANNA: "Reminiscent of

"your loved one's"... my turn.

"Loved one's fighting spirit,

which we celebrate today."

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

[CHUCKLES]

- [WHISPERING]
- What'd he say?

- What?
- What did he say?

He's talking to his mom.

It's just this person spelled Kevin,

Kevine with an E... look.

Are you talking to me or him?

ANNA: Hi, sorry, Steve.
I was just talking to Maya.

- Yeah.
- [SIGHS]

ANNA: Oh, my God, Steven.

We've been talking on the phone
for, like, so long.

- It's been three hours.
- Anna, do you like my shirt?

Isn't it good? Is it okay?

- [WHISPERING]
- Oh, my God.

Sorry, I was talking to Maya again.

Um... I think it looks good.

- ANNA: What'd your mom say now?
- Personally.

Do you want to see yours?

- Oh, my God. Awe.
- [GASPS]

You know the Walk for Cancer's tomorrow.

And you and Derrick are coming,
like, what time?

Yeah, tomorrow.

No, we sold enough bags
for all of us to go.

Can you and Derrick reschedule
bowling for another night?

- [WHISPERING]
- What?

[MOUTHS WORDS]

- I'm not. Are you mad?
- Are you okay?

I'm sorry. No. I don't know.

Do you swear to God?

No, but you do sound mad at me.

Okay, I love you. Love you so much, bye.

Are you still on?

[PHONE BEEPS]

Is he mad?

Um, he can't come
because they have plans.

MAYA: Why can't they
just cancel on each other?

Maya, they have plans,
and they promised each other

they were going to do
it, so they can't cancel.

Okay, sorry, but then maybe it's better

that it's just you and me and not Steve

'cause it's been you
guys hanging out a lot.

- Sorry.
- Sorry.

Maya, maybe you should
call Derrick because, like,

if he wants to come,
then he might want to

change his plans and see you,
and then Steve will come too.

- I don't want to.
- Maya, no, please.

No, Anna, I don't want to call him.

ANNA: Why?

Because he's, like,
been really busy and stuff.

- ANNA: What is he doing?
- I don't know.

He's not calling me back, so I don't...

Please, he loves you.

I, like, don't even know his number.

[ANNA SIGHS]

Oh, my God, yes. He loves you so much.

Shh!

[LAUGHS]

Oh, my God. Hey, it's Maya.

- Maya.
- He loves you.

No, I'm calling you from Anna's phone.

I didn't block my number.

Oh, 'cause you have caller ID.

No, yeah, it's just Anna's phone.

- Ask about the bowling.
- MAYA: Um, are you guys

gonna be coming to
the Walk for Cancer tomorrow?

D?

ANNA: What'd he say?
Are they gonna come?

Oh, he hung up.

They can't come. Whatever.

It'll be better anyway without them.

It can just be you and me.

Anna, it's fine.

Anna, me and you time
and people with cancer.

It'll be fun.

COORDINATOR: Hello, everyone.

Very happy to be here
with all of you today.

Let's do this, you guys.

EVE: Our team sold
the second most luminaries.

[APPLAUSE]

So let's share our names
and why we're here.

Uh, we'll start with the people
who sold the most bags.

- Jay.
- Um, I'm Jay.

This is my partner, Roger.
Um, I'm a tent master.

[LAUGHS] So, I, uh...

I actually lost my mom
to cancer this year.

Yeah.

It's about three months ago.
I just haven't really known...

Do you think we're gonna have to walk

the whole time because I don't want to.

JAY: I've dragged Roger here with me.

- ROGER: No, you didn't. No.
- JAY: I did, I did.

Oh, my God, what is wrong?

You're being really crazy right now.

ROGER: And I just want to kind of...

MAYA: What?

ROGER: Honor him today as we walk.

I have this pit in my stomach

because I think that
Steve's gonna break up with me.

- No way.
- EVE: Girls. Girls. Please.

Sorry.

Anyway, I just want to honor him today

as we walk.

Now, I'm Roger, by the way.

- Hi, Roger.
- I have a question.

Are we gonna walk the whole hours?

'Cause I don't think that's possible.

Okay, we're gonna need a talking stick

because people keep interrupting.

I raised my hand.

This team is going to
walk in shifts, okay?

So no, it won't be the whole time.

Oh.

COORDINATOR: The walk is starting now.

Please make your way to
the track, thank you.

I haven't gotten to say anything yet.

Girls, girls, why
don't you start us off?

- Okay?
- ANNA: Okay, Minister Eve.

- Okay.
- EVE: Okay, Frances.

We can keep... while they're going.

- FRANCES: I don't know.
- EVE: Go ahead, Francis.

FRANCES: My father
d*ed about a year ago.

Like, still don't get
when we're supposed

to sleep and stuff.

And, like, how many miles
we're supposed to walk.

Yeah, I can't... I can't
even do a mile run.

So I don't know.

Yeah, it's 'cause it turns
into the mile walk every time.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Anna, are you in a better mood now?

No, that just was funny.

Yeah, that's 'cause I'm
here and it's not Steve.

I'm the one who's, like,

making you happy. [BOTH LAUGH]

Anna, stop.

Oh, my God, okay, I thought
this was the Walk for Cancer?

[LAUGHTER]

- Maya...
- I just... I take it back.

That was mean. That was mean.
No, I didn't mean it.

'Cause you were trying to laugh at me.

- Anna, stop.
- Maya, no.

- Don't say that.
- Are you gonna piss yourself?

Anna, stop. Get up. Get up.

[IN HIGHER-PITCHED VOICE]
This is your mom, Anna.

You have to get up right now.

Anna.

I'm dying. I'm dying of water.
Please help me.

That's not funny.

[LAUGHTER]

MAYA: Oh, my God.

SEAN: Oh, you heard the joke?

- I heard it too.
- ANNA: I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God.

[COUGHS]

Sorry.

Is someone gonna say something?

'Cause it's just like, what's going on?

- Ha ha.
- I'm Sean.

- Brett.
- Sorry, I said that

as you said your name.

Stop it, Anna.

- I'm Maya.
- What... yeah, I'm Anna.

Where you guys from?

Um, the town over, Trailview.

- Skills.
- [LAUGHS]

You go with anyone?

Um, yeah, but our boyfriends
are, like, dead today.

- What are you guys doing here?
- We like to do good.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, us too.

- Um...
- Um, come in our tent?

- No, we do have boyfriends.
- Sorry, my voice just cracked.

- We do, though.
- Are you wearing a ring?

- We're just not at that point.
- It... it's just a tent.

- Like...
- We're not engaged, like...

- "Like, like..."
- Okay. We'll go to your tent.

[LAUGHTER]

- Oh, my God.
- They are so hot.

I know. I don't want to talk about it.

I want to hook up with the guy from...

this wouldn't happen
if Derrick and Steve were here.

COORDINATOR: Let's go,
let's pick up that pace

a little bit back there.

We're walking for a cure here today.

ANNA: [LAUGHING]

Wait, it's actually stuck.

- Your town is cool.
- BRETT: Yeah.

It's stupid, too, though.

ANNA: Yeah.

Um, I've never seen this
material on a track before.

It's really... it's really nice.

What? Are you... is your neck okay?

- MAYA: Oh, my God, Anna.
- Maya, stop.

Come here, I want
to whisper something to you.

Just say it out loud.

Stop. I can't, seriously.

Okay.

- [WHISPERING]
- Brett thinks you're cute.

- What'd you just say, Sean?
- Nothing.

I was just telling Ann here
that you think she's cute.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

I mean, I do, though.

He almost got class president this year.

- And he's f*cking funny.
- Nah, nah, nah.

[LAUGHS]

- You should kiss him.
- What?

Mm-hmm.

Kiss him. Why not?

I can't 'cause I have a boyfriend.

- I told you that.
- We went over this.

I'm not a cheater.

She said they're, like, buried or...

- No, I was, like, kidding.
- They're not dead.

They're just, like...
they're in high school, so.

They are probably cheating on you.

- ANNA: What?
- SEAN: Honestly.

With some high school girls.

ANNA: Well...

Just kiss him.

You shouldn't let
boyfriends rule your life.

Yeah, you should be independent.

- We are independent.
- We're independent women.

- Right?
- Yeah.

- We just can't.
- I just can't, so.

- What? That... that's mean.
- He has cancer.

- No, he doesn't.
- What? Yes, he does.

I swear to God he
does. That's f*cked up.

Cool.

You guys, that's, like, really f*cked up

to joke about that.

Like, that's not cool.

Yeah, he knows it's not a joke.

- It's his life.
- You guys, it's not funny.

See? He does.

That could've been a haircut.

Ask him yourself.

Do you?

Do... do you have cancer?

Yeah.

If you're not lying, I'm sorry.

Sorry, if you're not lying.

So you gonna kiss him?

- Should we keep walking?
- Yeah.

Wait, wait.

Just give my man a kiss on the cheek.

Oh, okay.

- Okay.
- If it's on the cheek, yeah.

Okay. Oh, my God.

You guys are, like, so
crazy. [ANNA LAUGHS]

ANNA: One.

BOTH: Two, three.

Ooh, three-way kiss is
this kid's first kiss.

Player over here.

MAYA: I'll see you guys out there.

See ya.

- See ya.
- Peace.

MAYA: Bye. [ZIPPER UNFASTENS]

Oh, my God, the tent.

[LAUGHS]

COORDINATOR: If anyone sees my wife,

can you please tell her that
I'm looking for her?

I'm out here in the field.
The -yard line.

- MAYA: Okay, that was crazy.
- ANNA: Yeah.

- He was lying, right?
- I felt bad, but I don't know.

- I think so, yeah.
- No, I know, I felt bad too.

But I'm kind of like, everyone
gets a haircut like that.

- Like, it's called a buzzcut.
- Yeah.

Supercuts or whatever.

My God, that would be so messed up.

You think he just... yeah.

I feel sick, though. I don't know why.

KARINA: Assholes, come here.

BOTH: Us?

You two. Come here.

- MAYA: Oh, my God.
- Stop.

Did you tell my little brother
he doesn't have cancer?

ANNA: What?

Did you tell my brother
he doesn't have cancer?

- Um... no...
- I'm so pissed right now.

We... we didn't. Um... right?

- No, we didn't.
- Cool.

So you go in a tent with them,
act all flirty,

tell Brett that he doesn't have cancer,

and laugh when he shows you his hair?


- No, no, we didn't laugh.
- We were, like, um...

- Oh, my God, okay.
- We were, like, um...

Don't say God. You're anti.

So this is just a misunderstanding

'cause what happened is,
we were on the track.

Um, sorry. Um... Spit it out.

Sean asked us to go in his tent.

Yeah, 'cause he wanted us to, like...

- Yeah and he was, like...
- Kiss him or whatever.

ANNA: To kiss him. He has cancer.

And so I was like, "Oh, are you lying?

Or are you just trying
to get play? Or... "

We didn't know if it was
play or lying or, like...

He's not lying about that.

We didn't know. Sorry.

Just stay the f*ck away from my brother.

[GENTLE MUSIC]

MAYA: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Anna, Anna, do you think
these people are sick?

Sorry.

Team Radical Love, right, guys?

ROGER: Keep up the good work, guys.

JAY: Thanks, guys.

♪ ♪

[UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC]

♪ ♪

SINGER: ♪ Your burning love ♪

♪ For tonight ♪

[PERSON ROARS]
[BOTH GASP]

ANNA: Hello?

- Brett?
- MAYA: Sean?

ANNA: [WHISPERING] Is that his sister?

DERRICK: Surprise, b*tches.

- MAYA: Oh, my God.
- STEVE: What's up?

- MAYA: Hi.
- ANNA: Okay.

Jesus.

STEVE: Yo.

What's up?

Did your hair get longer? It's hot.

- Thanks.
- What's up?

STEVE: Hey, what's up?

I thought you'd be happy
that we came here.

No, I'm not upset. I'm just...

Um, I'm just really tired.

We were, like, sleeping, so...

It's, like, : .

Okay, but it was kind of dark out.

Yeah, and we almost got, like, b*at up.

- Do we need to take someone?
- No.

- Um, what happened to bowling?
- Where are your meds?

Well, I took my Friday pill

'cause I didn't think
you were coming, like...

Lame.

Also, these guys tried
to hook up with us, D.

- What?
- Yeah.

Not my girl. Not mine.

No, I didn't do it. I swear, I didn't.

I just, like, on the cheek
'cause he has cancer.

Did you kiss him too?

Yeah, just on the cheek really quick.

Just 'cause he's sick.

Yeah, like, he might not
ever get a real one, so.

Oh, yeah.

- What?
- You're not talking that much.

Are you... what's up?

Did you want us to leave?

Steve, I just told
you what was going on.

And, like, also,

sorry, but can you be sensitive

'cause it's the Walk for Cancer,

and my grandmother just d*ed of cancer?

Yeah.

I didn't know you cared that much.

Wasn't it emphysema?

- Uh, yeah, it's cancer.
- No, that's not cancer.

Whatever.

Stop being, like, insensitive.

Are you two on your
periods or something?

She doesn't get that yet.

- I'm going to sleep too.
- What?

- How old are you?
- !

Ew, dude, that kind of grosses me out.

She doesn't get her period yet.
What are you, dude?

- A pedophile?
- STEVE: I'm not.

You're, like, a pedophile, man.

DERRICK: Why don't you just
date a sixth grader, bro?

- MAYA: Steve...
- DERRICK: Okay, man. Shut up.

- I have my period.
- Like, right now?

- What? That's gross.
- I don't have it right now.

I'm just saying I have it.

I'm not, like, a freaking pedophile.

Good 'cause that would be gross.

I don't want to know when you
have your period, like, ever.

- I want you to stay hot.
- Okay.

You should grow your hair longer.

Lucy Liu.

- Okay.
- STEVE: Okay.

- You want some?
- What is it?

STEVE: Vodka.

Um...

I, like, had a lot
already. [STEVE CHUCKLES]

- Chug, chug.
- [LAUGHS]

- No, thanks.
- You guys are being annoying.

MAYA: I'm over it.

Hey, are you okay?

- Yeah. Just... just tired.
- Yeah, I am too.

Drunk.

Okay, then let's go to sleep, like.

Okay, but girls in the middle
so Steve and I no gay, dude.

Shh, there's people
like that on our team.

I just don't want our butts to touch.

DERRICK: You're missing out.

ANNA: Be sensitive, like...

[WHISPERING]
Are you okay that they're here?

- [WHISPERING]
- Yeah.

Are you okay?

Do you want them to go?

Okay.

Are you sure you're okay?

I'm sorry we didn't come in earlier.

I love you.

I love you too.

Your knee is in my back.

- [LAUGHS]
- That's my d*ck.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[GENTLE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[APPLAUSE]

[MAYA GRUNTS]

COORDINATOR: Thank you. Thank you.

[INDISTINCT VOICES]

- Oh, my God.
- They f*cking ditched us.

What time is it?

CARL: Hey, everybody.

My name is Carl, and I'm sorry
that you all had to listen

to my voice today on the megaphone.

It's hard to describe cancer itself

because it was always just about

these special words they had.

You know, mass.

Be strong. Survivor. Have goals.

Remission.

All of these key words, but...

the thing that I get to connect
with a lot of you about

today is the, uh, the departure.

That the people we love go on
before they're even gone.

A mother, a father.

They go on this trip,

and we don't get to go on it with them.

This trip takes them somewhere else.

It's like for some of
them, the pain is so great

that the only relief is
to take a bunch of dr*gs.

Just the day before, their
sickness was just a concept

because we couldn't
see this ride coming.

And then the next day,
it's not a concept anymore

because it... it's a whole
different ride suddenly.

And, uh... but I think what we all do,

the friend, the daughter, the father,

the survivor, I think the strength

that's needed to attend
this... this, uh,

this mountain of a ride
with no definite end point,

no known destination,

is for the fearless and the brave.

And tonight, right now,
we're all here together

on this same ride, and
it's an honor for me

to connect with all of
you and to be here now.

Tonight, I know that I'm not alone.

It's not that kind of luminary.

- It's not that kind...
- Sorry.

- [WHISPERING]
- It doesn't float.

I thought it was gonna float up.

Like the ones that float.

CARL: So I'm here, a guy who doesn't

really do things like this.

[WHISPERING] I'm really glad
that I'm here with you.

Me too. Just you.

CARL: I'm very fortunate
because I'm in remission today.

Can we have a moment of silence, please?

[GENTLE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Thank you all so much.

[APPLAUSE]

SINGERS: ♪ Sit there
and count your fingers ♪

♪ What else can you do ♪

♪ Old girl, you're through ♪

♪ Sit there and count ♪

♪ Your little fingers ♪

♪ Unlucky little girl ♪

♪ Blue ♪

♪ No use old girl ♪

♪ You might as well surrender ♪

♪ Your hope is getting slender ♪

♪ Why won't somebody send ♪

♪ A tender blue boy ♪

♪ To cheer up little girl blue ♪

[SOMBER MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Sorry you lost your mom.

What?

I'm sorry, um...
I'm sorry you lost your mom.

Love you.

I love you.
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