02x36 - The Haunted Lair

[bunniefuu]

Grr!

Patience, folks. I assure you

everyone will get
the opportunity

to see the amazing
Haunted Forest!

And to pay me , .

Out of the way, bozo.
Move it or lose it, toots.

Big egg on campus,
comin' through.

Grr!

(Howling)

This place isn't so scary.

What... what is it?

A proposal for
government-mandated healthcare.

Aaah! Run for your lives!

What a fraidy cat! Whatever
it is she's supposed to be.

Who'd be scared of this junk?
Rubber bats, glowing eyes,

cardboard moon...

And a real ghost! (Shrieks)

Boo!

Aaah!

(Shrieks)

(Laughter)

Faster, you copper clods!
That ghost is haunting me.

I need to find a way
to exorcise him.

Why not let him
borrow your gym membership?

Clearly you never use it.

- Ugh!
- Check it out.

Eggman's still freaked out.
Whaddaya say we mess with him?

It seems wrong to prey
on Eggman's emotions

when he's in such
a fragile state.

Did I say "wrong"?
I meant "hilarious".

- Boo!
- Aaah!

- What? What's that?
- (Chuckling)

(Shrieks)

Aaah! Aaah!

Shh!

This is just sad.

Great, now you've gone
and made me feel guilty.

Stop your blubbering, Egghead.
It was just me.

- Ghosts aren't real.
- Yes, they are!

Aaah! How else do you explain
this blurry photograph?

Bad photography? Come with me.

I'll prove there are no ghosts.

I usually reserve the daytime
walk through for pre-schoolers,

but since you insisted...
As you see,

it's all cheap special effects
and atmosphere music.

Boo!

Turn tape over for more
fun-filled sounds of... horror.

When you step here
it triggers the ghost drop.

(Shrieks)

(Grumbles)

What did I tell ya?
No such thing as ghosts.

Now I've got nothing to fear,

except maybe that numbness
in my left arm.

I'm sure it's nothing.

(Snoring)

Boo!

Who's there?

Aaah!

No. Ghosts aren't real.

This is all a trick,
just like Barker showed me.

- Oh, that's no good.
- Boo!

Aaah! G-g-g-ghosts are real!

I've heard of this before.

Some good-looking
entrepreneur type

opens a humble
haunted attraction

on the smallest
of Gogoba burial grounds,

only to anger the spirit world
and send a cavalcade of ghouls -

Straight into my lair!
So this is all your fault!

Now, let's not point
numb fingers.

I'm sure everything's
gonna be just fine.

Easy for you to say. You don't
have to live in a haunted lair!

I'm an honest reasonable fellow.

I'm not gonna just leave you
in your time of need.

How about I take that lair
off your hands?

Free you of the burden
of ghost ownership?

And what guarantee do I get
the ghosts won't follow me?

Ooh!
You're a shrewd businessman.

I'll just stipulate
that the sale includes

any and all
items inside the lair.

After all, ghosts are powerless
against red tape!

The ol' Eggman
negotiating skills.

Still got it.

(Snoring)

- (Banging)
- Aaah! Ugh!

(Groans)
It's : in the afternoon!

People are trying to sleep!

(Banging)

Huh?

Since my lair is full of
% certified evil spirits,

I had to sell the place
to Barker.

Looks like we're gonna be
beach buddies!

No!

OK, we're going to get
to the bottom of...

- What's going on here?
- Welcome thrill-seekers

to the most fear-inducing
attraction yet,

The Deadly Lair!

Have you gone mad? You'll anger
the spirit world again!

Don't be daft, Egghead.
Barker conned you.

He was just looking
for a bigger, better venue.

I'll show you.

- Huh?
- That'll be bucks.

Each.

(Whistling)

Grr!

Argh!

- Boo!
- No! Take Sonic, not me!

That's no ghost. It's nothing
but smoke and mirrors.

What makes you so sure?

Well, for starters,
the smoke and the mirrors.

And then there's the digital
projection of a ghost.

Grr!

You conned me.
Gimme back my lair!

Sorry, Eggman. A deal's a deal.

Oh, yeah?

Let's see what my robots
have to say about that!

Don't you mean my robots?

The sale included any and all
items inside the lair. Remember?

No! You can't do this to me!
I created you!

He's a crook! There aren't
any real ghosts in there!

It's a sham!

Aaah!

Mr Barker, is that hysterical
lunatic ranting the truth?

(Nervous laugh)
No, of course not.

This lair really is haunted!

What would I have to gain
from lying to you good people?

(Gasp)

Come back!

There are more reprehensible
attractions out there!

At least I'm not hurting
any whales!

Great. After everyone saw me
getting tossed outta my lair,

they don't respect or fear me
any more.

Time to call in the big g*ns!

OK, my turn!

- Oh! Ugh!
- (Electronic signal)

EGGMAN: You there?

Ooh! Your impression
has gotten so much better.

Hey, Doc, you're in my head!

Yeah, I got plenty of room
in here, too.

Listen, I need you two dimwits
to help me retake the lair.

(Screaming)

Not so fast, Barker!

It's over, Sonic!
The denouement!

The final crescendo!

Your meddling
cost me my business!

Now, prepare to make
acquaintance with your demise,

for it is imminent!

For all Eggman's faults,

at least I understood
what he was saying.

Automatons... Action!

(Battle cry)

Whoa!

Why are we having
so much trouble, here?

We fight these jobber bots
all the time!

Barker's running plays
we've never seen before.

This guy's got a real strategy!

Strategy or not,
I'm gonna get to smashing!

OK, let's try that again.

We're in the HQ room, boss.

EGGMAN: Perfect!
Now head to the console!

(Growls)

(Sigh with relief)

Sir, we need to keep our volume
at a sensible level.

(Loudly) What? I can't hear you!
You'll have to be louder!

First things first.

I need you to delete my search
history, but don't look at it!

Now, install the virus!

(Snoring)

Looks like all these old robots
needed was a new business plan!

And as CEO
of Eggman Industries...

Really oughta change that name.

..I assure you,
you'll all be torn to shreds

with the utmost efficiency.

That's a relief.

(Reprogramming sounds)

Aaah! This is mutiny!

Yup. Heard of this before.
Looks like your robots

have contracted
the Anti-Allegiance Virus.

They won't stop till
they've destroyed their master.

- Hey! That's you, isn't it?
- You gotta do something!

Tell ya what.

Since I'm a reasonable fellow,

I'm not gonna leave you
in your time of need.

How about I take that lair
off your hands?

Once I'm their master,
you'll be off the hook.

Grr!

Aaah!

Take it. It's yours!

Eggman's back in business, baby!

You ready for a battle,
hedgehog?

Aren't I always?