02x42 - If You Build It They Will Race

[bunniefuu]

ts)

(birds chirp)

Hurry up before we realize

that sky diving over a volcano
is a bad idea.

(efforts)

Aw, crud.

That's what you get for rushing.

I'll just use
my new Build-It-Box.

(types, zap)

Is that a gateway to a parallel
dimension of bolt people?

Not exactly.

It uses D modelling
to replicate everyday objects.

That's why it's not called the
'parallel dimension bolt box.'

Tails, you can create anything
with this machine!

Not just tiny bolts.

You're right!

(whir, wind)

(clonk) Yeah!

Why do you hate fun, Tails?!

You could build cool stuff,
like a car,

a pizza oven,

or even... a giant bolt!

Building a car or oven
requires a larger Build-it-Box.

Which I don't have.

Use this to build
a bigger Bag-It-Box...

Build a begger Built-It-Box...

Baggy box buzzard...

Saying that isn't so simple.

, refill cartridges later,

and we're finally done.

Now let's make a cool thing.

The biggest bolt in the world!

Or a pizza oven or a car?

Car sounds good, too.

With a built-in pizza oven!

If we're going to make a car,

it needs to be multi-functional.

Functional-schmunctional.

It should be
Monster-Trucktional!

With giant,
pavement-crushing wheels!

And someone mentioned
a pizza oven. Huh?

We need
something cute and fashionable,

loaded with offensive weapons!

It should be camouflaged,
ya dink!

Hello! We're making a car!

First, it's got to be fast.

(buzz)

Huh?

Maybe we should each make
our own car.

The Sonic Speedster's
all about one thing:

It's the fastest car there is.

Gotta be; it's mine.

Sonic's got speed,

but does he have...

tires?

The optimal vehicle is prepared
for every contingency,

be it pot holes,
flash floods, or rude drivers.

My ride's the perfect car
for the modern woman.

Great for cruising to the beach
with the top down,

and pulverizing anyone
in my way!

My car's got the latest
in stealth technology:

twigs and leaves and stuff.

(blast)

(tires screech)

Seeing them all together
puts things into perspective.

Like how much better mine is
than all of yours.

My car could mop the floor
with any of these jalopies.

I'd like to see you try.

Obviously, mine's the best.

If only we could pit one vehicle
against another in a competition

or, for want of a better word,
"race".

Are you being sarcastic or dim?

I honestly can't tell anymore.

Neither can I!

(heavy rock music)

You guys ready?

Ready to kick your butt.

Three...

Two...

What's going on here?

Oh, hi Mayor.

This week,
the g*ng all made cars.

We want to find out
which is the best!

If you're going to be racing
on a public road,

it'll need to be
an official event.

You must go through
the proper channels,

pay the ludicrous taxes
and fees,

and it must be open
to all citizens.

Not everything that goes on
around here is about you five.

Really? It sure feels like it.

Fine! We'll get a permit.

Hope this doesn't take too long.

It's been a long, arduous
eight month process,

but the permits
have been issued,

and race day is finally upon us!

This event has brought out
local hero,

Sonic the Hedgehog,

some dingus
from the post office,

and incompetent fry-jockey,
Dave the Intern.

Eh. It's such a shame...

You worked hard on your cars,
and you'll all eat my dust.

The only thing I'll be eating
is a victory sundae...

With all my favorite flavors:

vanilla, French vanilla,
vanilla bean, garlic...

Now wait just a second, Egghead.

You can't race in the Eggmobile.

It's a car race.
You need wheels.

Orbot! Cubot!

(robots struggle)

(crunch)

(chuckles)

When the Mayor drops the flag,

drivers run to their cars,
start them, and the race is on.

Other than that,
there are no rules!

Really, no rules?

That sounds dangerous.

(whoosh)

And they're off!

Sonic takes an early lead!

And in other unsurprising news,
grass is green,

my ex-wife
is taking the beach house.

(efforts)

Eh!

(seat belt clicks, engine revs)

(tires screech)

(cars racing)

Everything looks so close!

Ah!

What's wrong, Barker?
Can't catch up?

(squirt)

(tires screech)

(thud, creak)

It's been a privilege
snarking with you today.

(creaking)

(crash)

ar(cs whizzing)

How's my tailwind taste?

Not as good as this pizza
from my built-in pizza oven.

Move it or lose it, toots!

You screaming like a lunatic
defeats the camouflage !

I hate rush hour traffic!

(beep, blast)

(expl*si*n)

(cars, tree crashes)

Woohoo!

(beep, car revs)

(thump, screeching)

(crash)

I should've sacrificed
some speed for better handling.

But on the other hand...

(tires screech)

(car honks)

(chuckles)

(tires screech)

Oh great!
Knickels is on my tail...

But not for long...

(beep, spin)

(blast)

(gasps)

(tires deflating)

(creaking)

Ha! I knew wheels on the roof
was a really smart idea.

(tires screeching)

(crash)

(groans)

Ah!

How'd he get ahead of me?

(tires screeching)

Whoa!

Thanks, Dave!
You were very helpful.

(cars)

(splat) Oh!

Hey! I didn't order this!

Now I know how our
customers feel all the time...

(crash)

I got the perfect accessory
for your car.

It'll really make it pop!

(shwing)

Ah!

(tires screech)

(both scream)

(crash)

Oh!

(click, clonk)

Now to switch to landing gear...

Ah!

How strange: the fox flies,
but the bird needs a jet pack?

(tires screeching)

(revving)

Not so fast around these turns,
are you, Sonic?

(impacts)

(expl*si*n)

Whoa!

(crash)

Looks like Sonic's
out of the race.

Too bad. So sad.

(chuckles)

(rattles)

(soft cheering)

(soft cheering)

(clonk) Ah!

We took this race
way too seriously.

None of us are going to win.

Eggman's probably parading
before he's even finished.

If we can repair your car,

you'll still have a chance.

Just need a few parts...

(whiz) Got it.

(whiz) One more.

There it is.

(clonk)

(soft cheering)

And Eggman takes another
premature victory lap.

Why shouldn't he?

He's got this one in the bag.

Barring
any potential poetic justice.

(whiz)

(car revs)

(soft cheering)

(squelch)

Can't b*at Sonic
on an empty stomach.

(beep)

(crash)

(beep)

Oh look. A moving bush.

Hey, wait a second!

The winner
isn't a foregone conclusion!

Maybe it is,

depending on your
knowledge of story structure.

With all that junk,
your car's weighed down!

(laugh) I was right to celebrate
early after all!

(beep)

Sonic wins! Sonic wins!

Sonic wins!

(crowd cheering)

Thank you,
fans and participants.

This was the greatest race
I've ever seen.

(cheers)

"Everyone's a winner
who tries their best"?

What the...?

But, these are just
participation trophies.

Read it and weep, Sonic!

It says I'm a winner too!

(grumbles)