08x07 - Sneakers by the Dozen

[bunniefuu]

[Birds chirping, dog barking]

♪ I'm on a new level ♪

Dre: The work culture in
America is like no place else.

And much like the rest of the country,

I work hard to give my loved
ones everything and more.

But working this hard

isn't just about keeping the lights on

or teaching my children
a proper work ethic.

It's about having dope stuff.

♪ I'm on a new level ♪

♪ Bought me a new shovel ♪

♪ Put these... in the dirt ♪

Now, you may just see
these as shoes I use

to cover up my gray-colored big toe,

but every pair has a story.

I graduated Howard
in these Air Trainers.

- [Bell dings]
- _

No one remembers that I
graduated with a . GPA.

They just remember that
I walked across the stage

like two-sport superstar Bo Jackson.

I wore these when I proposed to Bow.

- _
- ♪ This is my town ♪

I was on my knee for two minutes

before she said yes.

It kinda ruined the mood,

and the creasing in the toe.

Oh, and these?

- [Bell dings]
- _

Virgil just did his thing with these.

I had to get a pair.

You see, I'm a sneaker guy,

'cause growing up in Compton,

they were the only way I
could creatively express myself

without rapping or getting
jumped after theater class.

And after landing the Super Bowl ad,

it was time to express myself...

♪ Put these... in the dirt ♪

- _
- ... big time.

♪ All my... put in work ♪

♪ Check it out, check it out ♪

[Sighs]

So, I'm taking the kids to school?

Mm-hmm.

Unbelievable.

And I love sneakers

because they're just like me...

cool, inspired by Black
culture, and elite.

- Okay. What do we got?
- Yeah.

[Chuckles] Hey, Dre!

Cool kicks, player.

♪♪

Hold up!

I put on my holy grails

and he's wearing my holy grails?

There's not supposed
to be two holy grails!

Yeah.

Cool... player.

[Bell dings]

[Chuckles]

Mm.

[Sighs]

I got your text. I
came as soon as I could.

Look at this. This
shower-every-other-day chump Griffin

is wearing the same shoe as I am.

I look like a Mark.

My name is Dre,

and he made me look like a Mark.

What's the big deal

if you guys are wearing
the same sneakers?

- They're just shoes.
- "Just shoes"?!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You are lucky that you still
have the taste in your mouth

after a comment like that.

- What?
- My dad is wounded right now.

There is nothing worse

than wearing the same pair of shoes

as a man who was in a White fraternity.

Yeah, I'm glad somebody understands

the gravity of this situation.

Oh, I lived it.

Last week, I went to therapy

wearing my Yeezy Turtledoves.

When I got there, my therapist
was wearing them, too.

- [Gasps]
- Cried for half the session...

and for the first time,
it wasn't about my family.

Okay. [Laughs]

Well, then, if it's such a big deal,

just go to the mall and
get a different pair.

Go... Go to the mall?!

- Oh, my God.
- Calm down. Calm down.

You got this.

You cannot go to the
mall and pick up hotness.

Let me go, son.

Mall sneakers are for
ex-inmates and stepfathers.

Oh.

[Sighs] I can't be showing up like this.

You know what I need to do?

I need to go back to where it started...

- the streets.
- Mm.

Hit up one of my old spots
and pick up some new hotness.

You know what? We'll cover for you.

Get out of here, big guy.
- Yeah.

Which excuse do you want us to go with?

Bubble guts or a holiday
that's like Juneteenth

- that they don't know about yet?
- Mm-hmm.

I have a real job up here, guys.

I'll go tomorrow. Excuse me.

Okay. Uh...

Hey, Mom.

Hi.

[Sighs] I need a favor.

For the last time, Diane,

they don't do ride-alongs in ambulances.

No, no, no. Um, I was just wondering...

Uh-huh?

... if I could have a day off of school.

Look, I have a ton of
tests I have to study for,

and Casey Emerson said

she's gonna bring her
pet rat to Bio tomorrow,

and I can't handle that right now.

Okay.

So, you need a Sanctuary Day.

What's that?

Well, it's something
I used to do with Zoey

when she needed a little
mental health break.

The key was, we kept it from your dad,

'cause he knows if you miss
one day of private school,

that costs him two Amiri sweaters

and a dinner at Ocean Prime.

- He's done all the math.
- Sounds good.

- And it'll be our little secret.
- Okay.

And if Dad ever finds
out, I'll just remind him

that he was banned from
Ocean Prime years ago.

Do you know that man
still doesn't realize

crab cakes are not actual cakes?

Anyway, you stay home today, sweetheart,

- and you recharge.
- Thank you.

You're very welcome.

All right, sweetheart.

[Gasps]

Where did you come from?

Black men have been magically
appearing in doorways for decades.

Haven't you seen "Bagger Vance"?

No.

You're letting that teenage
girl walk all over you.

No, Pops.

It's all a part of my strategy

to make sure that my daughters know

that they can come to me no matter what.

Because today, it might
be a mental health day,

but tomorrow, Pops,

it might be something way bigger.

Well, don't find out the hard way,

or you're gonna have to change your name

from "Rainbow" to "Mark."

- What?
- 'Cause you're acting like a Mark.

You know... [Clears throat]

I never thought I would say this,

but please stop hanging
out with your son.

Hold up, he's hanging out with me.

[Chuckles]

Mark.

Uh...

Griffin may have had
me on the back foot,

but I had a trick up my sleeve...

my secret shoe spot.

And this time, I brought back-up.

I'm sorry this is how
we have to spend our day,

but my dad is finally taking
us to his secret sneaker shop.

Oh, that's why you're blindfolded.

He doesn't want anyone to
know where it is. Got it.

Well, I mean, he's cool
with some people knowing.

What's up, Olivia? Why
didn't you text me back?

Because you're a teenager
and I'm dating your brother.

- Mm, for now.
- What?

- Bye, guys.
- Bye, babe.

All right, we're almost there.

They have the Friends and Family Edition

with the special boxes.

I hear they only made
like pair of these.

- Wow.
- Whoo!

♪♪

What the hell?

Who are all these people?

[Horn honks in distance]

Ugh. When did this place
become so commercial?

You know, back in the day, I
used to work at Foot Locker,

and we never knew what we were gonna get

until we cut the box
open in the back room.

What?

You know, sometimes, it
was just grandpa shoes,

and there were those moments
when you would get that Jordan

he had just wore in the dunk contest.

So you didn't even know
when they were coming out?

No.

Just feel it in my bones... like rain.

Those were the good ol' days.

Man: You know it.

Montrezl Harrell?

What are you doing here, man?

What do you mean?

I'm trying to get these shoes.

- Been out here for hours.
- Man.

Can't believe I got my
hair braided for this.

All right, well, stay up, Trez.

It's Montrezl Harrell.

- But... is it really?
- Oh.

That's it... we're sold out.

What?!

Sold out? Man, we just got in line!

Jack: Yo, yo, yo, look at this kid.

They sold him more than one pair.

He just backdoored the whole line.

Get him!

♪♪

- Oh. Wow.
- [Tires squealing]

Looks like Montrezl
Harrell's off-season workouts

have been paying off.

What are we supposed to do now?

How are we supposed to get the shoe?

They only made pairs,

and now eight of them are riding shotgun

with that kid in his mom's minivan.

Yeah.

Well, there is this
dude I know in Compton.

Not the kind of dude you
want to owe a favor to,

but he can get his hands on anything.

Anything.

♪♪

Dre: After driving around for minutes

to find a working payphone,

I finally got in touch with R...

You know what?

He's the kind of guy where
if I mention his name,

I'd have to bleep it out
for my own protection.

♪♪

Still, I made the call,

and my dude gave me
the address of the guy

who was the Pablo Escobar of the game.

[Doorbell rings]

Hey.

Dre.

Hey, what's up, man? [Laughs]

[Bleep] said he was sending
somebody by for some sneakers.

I didn't think it was gonna be you.

I called my connect to get
to the top of the mountain

only to find out the mountain
was named after this guy.

Thanks for the hook-up.
Hey, anytime, Trez.

He let you call him "Trez"?

Now I know why everything is messed up.

If this guy is the plug,

no wonder the shoe game is leaking.

Well, I'm surprised
you're into sneakers,

considering the fact you walk
around the office barefoot.

[Laughs] Oh, man, I'm only shoeless

if I need to think
or sleep or make love.

Other than that, I'm wearing sneakers.

So, you're really serious about kicks.

Oh, yeah, man.

- Hmm.
- Oh, yeah.

Yeah, man, I love the whole game of it.

When I was years old,

there was a sneaker
convention in Orlando

while my family was
there for Disney World,

and I got my very first pair.

I got the original Reebok Pumps, right?

I get back to school.

Everyone's making a big deal out of it.

I kind of became "the shoe guy."

Hmm.

Come on, man. Let's see
if I got what you need.

Okay.

There's no way he's a true sneaker fan.

This dude is just chasing clout.

He's a tourist.

[Choir vocalizing]

♪♪

Okay.

He has a couple of pairs.

[Rapid dinging]

♪♪

So, what do you think?

Huh? Oh.

It's cool.

Anyone with money can fill a closet,

but real love of the game
means you know the history.

I don't know if he knows
anything about the culture.

♪♪

Hey, the Nike VaporMax. I love these.

Which pack did this come from, again?

The Next Ten.

They're nice, but, you know,

not quite as nice as the Original Ten.

Mm, okay.

You actually have the
Justin Timberlakes?

Everybody and their mama bought
these on Super Bowl Sunday,

and then they tried to resell
them on Super Bowl Monday.

[Chuckles] Looks like you got caught.

Yeah, they're not my favorite,

but, I mean, JT did give
me this autographed pair,

and I was just trying to be polite.

I mean, Tinker Hatfield...
absolute genius,

but the Jordan 's are classics, man.

He just... He didn't need to
try and reinvent the wheel.

Yeah. [Chuckles]

Yeah, I mean, that's what
I tweeted at the time.

Right?

Ooh.

The, uh... The tan on the midsole

of your Air Max "Bacon" seems off.

Yeah, my pair, uh,
the tan is much lighter

from the toe to the middle of the shoe.

Hmm. Wouldn't surprise
me if these were...

fake.

No, man, I...

I think you might be confused.

See, I-I think what you must have

are these right here.

These are the reissued "Bacons."

And see, it's got the lighter tan,

and the pink on the swoosh
is a little bit different.

This one here... see,
the tan, it gets richer.

You get that nice
patina the older it gets.

What you're holding there,
that's the , man.

That's the original.
Those are super rare.

This one, though... I mean, it's...

thi... this is a cool shoe, too.

Yeah, could you just
get me those shoes, man,

so I can get out of here?

- I got some errands to run.
- You got it, yeah.

What's your Venmo?

Uh, "SneakerKang ."

- "SneakerKang."
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

There it is... profile
pic of me and Nas.

- Of course it is.
- [Cash register dings]

All right, money's sent.

Thank you.

Enjoy.

♪♪

- Hey.
- Hi.

Um, I just wanted to thank
you again for yesterday.

- Oh.
- Yes, I know how lucky I am

to have such an understanding mom.

Ally Sanders had to shave her eyebrows

before her parents would
pay attention to her,

and now... now they
just growing in weird.

I'm so glad that I
could give you this gift.

And just so you know,
Sanctuary is here for you

- whenever you need it.
- Really?

- Wow, that is such a relief...
- Mm.

... 'cause I've been
under a lot of pressure

in school lately, and
PSATs are coming up,

and I've just been grinding on that.

Ugh, really?

Yeah, and that's why I
need you to sign this.

Oh, what's this?

It's a form acknowledging that you know

there are some assignments
I haven't turned in.

- Oh.
- I'd ask Dad, but...

Oh, God, no. [Laughs]

Sweetheart, I'm... I'm
really glad that you...

that you trust me with this.

Wow.

Oh, also, um, I was
hoping to grab dinner

at my friend Tall Ryan's house.

I-I hope that's okay.

I know Dad doesn't like
me hanging out with someone

before he finishes reviewing
his background check, so...

Oh, no, you... [Scoffs]

I've got your back.

[Sighs] Sanctuary.

Wow. Thank you so much for this.

- You're welcome. Yeah.
- Thank you.

Um... Oh, wow. [Clears throat]

I just got a text.

- Pops: Oh, wow.
- Hmm.

Change of plans. Yeah, I know.

Um, Tall Ryan's band
is playing at a bar.

- They are?
- Yeah, but i... it's all good,

because they're letting minors in,

so I can, you know.

- Sanctuary.
- Mm.

And before you ask how old Tall Ryan is,

- Sanctuary.
- That's it!

- That's it.
- [Exhales sharply]

I will not be played by a
little teenage girl, okay?

I see what you're doing,

and I thought that we
were in this together.

But no. I'm telling your father.

I'm-a tell him about the homework,

about the not going
to school, all of it.

- Telling your dad.
- Wait, what?

Yes, sister! Okay?

No more Sanctuary.

You just called me
"sister" with a hard "E-R."

Yes, sister.

You must really be mad.

[Scoffs]

Pops: [Clears throat]

[Newspaper rustles]

Well...

I think my work here is done.

Mm.

Thanks.

♪♪

Junior: I didn't know
you were back already.

[Gasps] Did you get the shoes?

Yeah, I got 'em.

All right, let's see these bad boys.

[Sighs]

I didn't even think these were real.

You could say these are
worth more than my whole life,

and I'd believe you.

Uh, they a'ight.

A'ight? Oven fries are a'ight.

Dad, these are your Moby Dicks.

Actually, I think they might
be made out of whale leather.

Yeah. You're probably right.

Griffin messed it up
for me, man, all right?

We create so much dope stuff

only to have it stolen from us.

I swear to God, if I
see one more White boy

with diamond earrings and a fade,

I might lose my mind.

It's real.

We lose something

- every time it goes mainstream.
- Mm-hmm.

You know, when
"SportsCenter" starts saying,

"It's time to spill the tea,"

it's time to stop saying
"It's time to spill the tea."

Yeah, we need cultural reparations.

We create too much stuff
to be priced or pushed out.

You know what? I'm done.

Excuse me.

♪♪

[Chuckles]

♪♪

Well, if he's done,

then I can probably
just take these, right?

We're about the same size.

[Scoffs] Sorry, playboy.

I can resell these and make a k*lling.

Besides, everyone knows
you stuff your shoes.

♪♪

Here's the thing...

at some point,

a line in the sand has to be drawn.

People can't take and take
and take from our culture

without consequences.

[Telephones ringing,
indistinct conversations]

The "Back to the Future" shoes?

[Bell dings]

I thought those were urban legend.

We gave up jazz without a fight,

and I'm not letting
the same thing happen

to something Black people
actually still care about.

I'm about to liberate
these shoes for the culture.

♪♪

- Hey, Dre!
- Oh!

Hey. What's going on?

[Groans]

Uh, I got bubble guts.

[Groans] Gotta take a day.

Boy, when are your
guts not bubbling, huh?

♪♪

♪♪

Boy, if you don't get
them shoes off the counter

before your mama sees 'em...

Pops, these shoes cost $ , .

Your mama and her switch

don't care how much they're worth.

Where'd you get them crazy things?

They look like the shoes they wore

when they faked the moon landing.

Yeah, I took them off this
dude Griffin at my office.

Oh, great.

So, now I'm an accessory
to a crime... again.

Pops, you don't get it, all right?

These are my acres.

My reparations for
us giving them Yeezys,

uh, "Stankonia," and
the Bankhead Bounce.

Boy, don't nobody Bankhead no more.

Yeah, but we should, Pops.

- We should.
- [Sighs]

It seems as if they've taken everything

and turned it into
something with no context,

no history...

something to be packaged and sold.

Yeah, I know.

It's frustrating seeing
little pieces of our culture

ripped away from us.

Did I ever tell you about this
little barbecue joint in Inglewood?

Had the best brisket I'd ever tasted.

No, you haven't.

Oh, it was my secret little spot...

until that damn Bobby Flay
did his show down there.

Oh. Next thing you know,
I can't get my corner table

'cause there's White hipsters in there

looking like skinny lumberjacks.

See? So you stopped going.

No, I didn't,

'cause you know what, Dre?

It doesn't matter who's
sitting at the table next to me.

That place is still mine.

I just don't know, Pops.

I mean, I used to love sneakers

more than I love most of my kids.

[Both laugh]

I just don't feel that fire anymore.

Well, don't let anyone steal your joy.

Okay, Pops, you're right.

- And, uh, by the way...
- Yeah?

Stop trying to jump me in
the line for reparations.

Have a little respect.

Pops, when I get it,

weget it.

The truth is that Black
people create amazing things,

so Pops is right...

trying to stop other
people from liking it

is as impossible as plugging
a dam with a toothpick.

Not so fast, big fella.

We wanted to get you a little something

- to cheer you up today before work.
- Oh.

Yeah, we heard you crying

and rapping "Air Force
Ones" by Nelly last night.

You guys heard that?

You were pretty loud.

Guys, I don't know.

Dad, come on.

Let us do something nice for you.

I mean, you've taught us
all about the shoe game.

You know, it's what
we all have in common.

You know how some families
go on fishing trips

or talk about their feelings?

- Mm-hmm.
- We have shoes.

It's our thing.

♪♪

You know what? This is my thing.

My thing with my kids,

and I'm not letting
anybody take that light.

Guys, thanks.

The colorway is all wrong, but...

Oh.

Thank you.

♪♪

You know, this the
closest he's ever come

to saying he loves me.

[Door closes]

You're joking, right?

No.

♪♪

I realized that it isn't about
not having Jordans as a kid...

[Bell dings]

... or even appropriation.

I love being a sneakerhead,

and I love sharing moments
with other sneakerheads

like my kids...

and even this guy.

Hey, man.

Oh, great kicks.

Yeah, they're custom.

- You're looking at one of one.
- Mm.

You'll never get a pair of these.

Ugh, well, that's too bad, man.

But, you know, I just sold

my whole sneaker collection yesterday.

- What?
- Yeah, yeah.

I'm into vintage vinyl now.

In fact, our buddy in
Compton [Bleep] set me up

with this immaculate
Jelly Roll Morton acetate

that is just... chef's kiss.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Well, good luck with that.

- Thank you.
- All right.

- Oh, and, hey, man.
- Yeah?

- Keep an eye on those.
- Mmm?

Somebody's been boosting
sneakers from the offices.

There's probably something
I should tell you.

I saw Josh walk into your
office with a huge duffel bag.

Mm-hmm.

- Hmm?
- Mm-hmm.

Eh, we all know I'm not getting
any other kind of reparations.