02x19 - Only Human

[bunniefuu]

When you hear about college,

it's often described
as the time of your life.

Bliss, paradise...

- ...utopia.

But when you're in it,

sometimes all you feel is the stress,

...the pressure...

...and the loneliness.

What the hell's going on?

Hey.

Everything all right?

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪ Learn something new every day ♪

♪ I don't know, so I'm-a feel my way ♪

♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪

♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

- ♪ I'm grown ♪
- ♪ You can tell me ♪

♪ My heart b*ating so loud ♪

♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

Yo, I'm about to Postmates
this Jimmy John's.

You want in?

The halls were just flooded with EMTs

because they thought a student
k*lled themselves.

H-How are you even thinking
about food right now?

I'm sorry, okay?

Everybody copes with stressful
situations differently,

and I'm just trying to process
what happened to P.J.

So I ask you again... do you
want a tasty sandwich or not?

Are you for real?

Get me a six-inch Perfect Italian.

Son, this P.J. sh*t is nuts.

Yo, thank God that his roommate
saw this morbid-ass tweet

and called 911.

Can you imagine
what would've happened to him?

They did a sweep of his room
and said they found some pills.

He didn't take any.

But they did find some.

This whole situation is on me.

What?

Yeah, I have a confession to make, okay?

I saw P.J.'s tweet,
but I scrolled past it

to watch a video of a monkey
from Thailand att*ck a man.

Bro, this... this is isn't on you.

P.J.'s been tweeting
about being depressed.

I feel like everybody is.

It's crazy to me. I don't get it.

So, like, since when has it ever
been cool to be depressed?

Since all these rappers started
confessing about their struggles

and everybody thought
that sh*t was cool.

I swear, every time I'm on IG,

I'm seeing people post about their
feelings and what meds they're on.

Yeah, but that's what I'm
talking about...

people doing it just for the flex.

Like P.J.

He was all about
that whole sad-boy wave.

But that doesn't mean the guy
wasn't really suffering.

- You know what I mean?
- Yeah, but it's impossible

to tell who's really doing it
for the flex

or who's actually struggling.

Maybe, but this... this happened
way too close to home.

So I'm going to make it my mission,

I'm gonna do whatever it takes

to find out if anyone who's living here

is really going through something

or they're just... you know,
walking around being dramatic.

Oh, I'm sooo depressed!

My life is literally just over.

This dude hasn't left
the house for 2 1/2 years.

Uh, did y'all not hear what I just said?

Uh, Zoey, we're watching a documentary

about an 800-pound man named Robert

who's fused to his couch.

So, uh...

- Big Rob's life is over.
- You're being melodramatic.

- Yeah.
- I'm not.

My major got declined.

Um... I didn't get into
the School of Fashion, so...

Again, Big Rob can't see his own penis.

Why would they reject you?

I don't know.

Something about having a low GPA

and being on academic probation

and dropping some mandatory
fashion class last semester.

- It's literally insane.
- Come here.

- I know, this really sucks.
- Mm-hmm.

But you're still gonna do
the Fundie Run, right?

No!

God, I have no desire
to run around half-naked

in a race that's supposed to
celebrate declaring a major!

Which I don't have!

On the bright side,
you don't need one to run.

- We did it when we were freshmen.
- Mm-hmm.

Whupped everybody's ass, too.

And we're gonna do it again this year.

You guys do realize, though,
it's just chaos in underwear?

- It's not, like, a real race.
- Oh, baby girl,

when you've been training
all year for the NCAA finals,

everything in life is a race.

If I wasn't wearing wedges,
I would've had that ass.

I don't think y'all get it.

This isn't about some stupid race.

I mean, sure, maybe I'm being
a bit melodramatic

by saying my life is over,

but my dream of majoring in fashion is.

I mean, Robert had dreams, too.

All right. Excuse me. Hey, guys!

Thank you so much
for taking the time to be here.

I really do appreciate it.
Let's get to it.

- I wanted to...
- Yo. Yo.

What time does the shrimp truck come?

There's a slight delay
on the shrimp truck.

In the meantime, I thought
we could, you know,

- roundtable a bit, chop it up.
- Wait. Wait, wait.

Like, how long are you talkin'
for the shrimp, though?

Five minutes.

Like... Like a regular five
or Black five?

There's no shrimp. I don't have shrimp.

I'm sorry. There never was
a shrimp truck coming.

- I don't have the money for it. Sorry.
- You got me

all [bleep] up, Aaron, okay?!

I understand
your frustration, Rafael, I do,

but I gathered you guys here
to discuss mental health.

That's what we need...

No, we need... Guys, come on.

- We need this.
- I told you,

you can't promise Black people
shrimp, bro.

Whatever. I decided that
it was best to check in

after what happened to P.J.
That's our friend.

I just want to see how
everybody's feeling.

Hungry, [bleep]! Hungry!

Funny. Anyway...

The school gave me

this cool, little
crisis prevention handbook,

and I just want to float
a few questions by you.

Here we go. First question...

does anyone have a history of
mental illness in their family?

No?

Gran-Daadi Vikash heard voices.

Okay.

Good. Uh, second question...

Do you ever feel despondent
and don't know why?

Oh, so, I'm the only one
that feels a little melancholy

when my head hits the pillow at night.

Great. Appreciate the participation.

Does anyone besides Vivek

ever find themselves
anxious about the future?

I mean...

I feel anxious about the lack
of shellfish in my future.

Yo, come on, man,

he's trying to do something, bro.

- Be serious.
- Thank you.

O-Okay. Well, seriously,

if I had a problem,

I wouldn't sit around here,
being sad and anxious.

I'm gonna either pray it out,

I'm-a sweat it out...

...or if that don't work,
I'm gonna light up.

Okay, so...

Yeah, you must be living your best life,

'cause your hairline is... ♪ Traaaash ♪.

Okay, okay.

So, I understand that you guys think

that what I'm trying to do is whack,

but I'm really just trying
to create an environment

so that we can have an open dialogue

about what's really going on
in our lives, okay?

So please, bear with me.

Are any of you experiencing

a sense of isolation
or depersonalization?

Um... I'm sorry.

I don't even know what that means.

It's like when you feel disconnected

or not like yourself.

You're, like, the passenger
in your own mind.

Kind of like how, uh, Kid Cudi felt

when he made the "Pursuit of Happiness".

- You know that song?
- Yeah. Okay, yeah.

In that case,

I've been hella depersonalized before.

Okay, good! This is great.

Communication, dialogue.

Now, has anyone ever felt like a rapper

whose name starts with Lil'
or thought about,

I don't know, getting face tattoos?

Okay.

All right.

All right. Well...

I think we need to get these
people some shrimp.

I just don't want to let anyone down.

There's so much pressure.

Between trying to keep my grades up

and missing my family,

I feel like sometimes I can't
even shake the sadness.

I get that.

There's sometimes I wake up and
I feel like I just, you know,

can't get out of bed.

Okay, so, when you guys feel like this,

how do you go about dealing with it?

- I don't.
- You don't?

Wait, but you don't think
you should, I don't know,

talk to a counselor or therapist
just to,

- you know...
- I did that.

Over at the health center.

It was a joke.

Like, a 2-week wait
for a 15-minute appointment

with some old White lady
who kept telling me

I look like some actress named "Jackée".

That's why I don't mess with it.

You just... ride it out.

Okay, but has it ever gotten so low

to where you feel like you...
you couldn't ride it out?

Yo, this...

this doesn't seem like a flex, bro.

Here.

Zucchini bread is known
to help with the sadness.

And eczema.

Hmm.

Oh, my God...

This is so good.

Is there anything you can't do?

- I haven't found it yet.
- Mm.

Do you think this bread will
help me figure out my major?

Zoey, you don't need a major
to do fashion.

You barely need a major to do anything.

How many people do you know

that actually work in the fields
they studied?

My mom. My dad.

Literally anyone who's been
to college in my entire family.

Okay, fine. They're weird.

But real talk,

this whole major thing is just
society's attempt to put us in a box.

Nice, coming from the guy

who got into the fashion program
freshman year.

Of high school.

They recruited me. But...

don't make this about me, baby.

Hmm. Ding, ding, ding.

Think we found the one thing
he's not good at...

pep talks.

The point is, people in fashion
don't need a degree.

Even having one puts you miles
ahead of the game.

So why don't you just take the time

to explore other stuff
you have interest in?

Well, I mean, I've always been

kind of intrigued by psychology.

That's perfect.

You have a purple aura.

People love talking to you.

And honestly, you'll be purple
at whatever you choose.

Damn it!

He is good at everything.

Okay. So...

You sure you don't want me
to come back when you're...

when you're finished?

- Sorry about that.
- That's all right.

It's a seven-day juice cleanse,

but I'm-a drink 'em all in one day.

Your boy figured
out how to b*at the system.

Why wait a whole week
just to be healthy?

Pretty sure that's not how it works.

I'm pretty sure it is how it works.

Sorry.

I drank 17 juices.

- I'm both full and very, very hungry.
- Mm.

It's so confusing.

Anyway, talk to me, brother.

Okay. Uh, well, I was...

I was talking to some residents
at Hawkins,

and I just think that they could
really use a therapist.

- Just to talk to, you know what I mean?
- Yeah, yeah.

I'm sure everyone over at Hawkins

is going through a hard time right now.

Since P.J.'s incident,

we are taking the situation
very, very seriously.

But it doesn't seem like it,

'cause I-I went to
the health center earlier today,

and they said there's
a huge waiting list

because there's only five counselors

- for the entire student population.
- Ah.

- That's crazy. Yeah.
- Yes.

That's exactly why we're
bringing in temporary counselors

for the students to talk to.

What if these problems aren't temporary?

What if... It's... It's bad enough

that there's limited
resources for everybody,

but there's even less for us.

Do you know there's not a single Black
therapist in that health center?

Not one.

Yet we're the ones struggling

with the normal stresses of college,

uh, going to a predominantly
White school,

and having to deal with the pressures

of being Black in America.

It's just... It's... It's a lot.

I get it, man.

I really do. I get it, man.

Great. Thank you. So... So you can help?

I would if I could.

Cal U just doesn't have
the money in the budget.

Just doesn't have...

Right. Got it.

You know, they'll spend millions
of dollars on a new arena

to make more millions off Black bodies,

but won't invest in our minds?

It's... baffling to me.

I'm sorry, Aaron.

I wish there was... more I could do.

Yeah, me too.

Hey, Freshman.

What's good?

Just deciding my future.

I'm thinking a psychology major,

possible astronomy minor.

You do know astronomy has nothing to do

with horoscopes, right?

I do now.

- Right.
- Yay...

Wait, so, why are you looking
for a new major?

I thought you were trying to get
into the fashion school?

Well, I am, but, you know,

I don't have to major in it to do it.

Well, good.

Honestly, we need more Black
psychologists, so good for you.

And at least psychology
is a... a-a real major.

So is fashion.

Yeah, but it's not really
helping people.

Mm, fashion is all about helping people.

Oh, come on, Zoey.

No disrespect, but helping people

is facilitating
better mental health resources.

Not pairing your V-neck blouse

with some low-rise Hollister jeans.

- It's just...
- Mm, pause.

- First of all, yuck.
- Right?

And second of all,

it's not just about
creating someone's look.

I mean, it's...
it's honestly an extension

of who that person is.

An expression of identity,

of our wants, our... p-political views.

Political views.

Oh, my... Are you kidding?
Think about it.

Like, the suffragettes,

uh, the Black Panthers,

and, you know what, I hate to say it,

- but, like, the KKK.
- Mm.

They made statements with their outfits.

The KKK?

That was your closing argument?

My closing argument is,

fashion has always been
a powerful political tool

used to communicate a message,
positive or negative,

and that's a million percent
a real thing for me.

Okay, so then, why...

Well, I ask again,

why are you majoring
in psychology and not fashion?

Because I didn't get into
the School of Fashion, so...

...now I'm at a dead end.

I get that.

I feel like I'm at
a dead end, too, right now.

It's like, at the end of my road,

there's a big brick wall.

So, what's happening?

Cal U doesn't give a damn
about Black mental health,

and I can't get them
to do anything about it.

So...

you understand what I'm talking about.

We're just two people sitting here,

trying to save the world.

Hmm.

You think you're funny, huh?

You think I'm funny.

You're fine.

But, you know what?

Just because they're telling you "no"

doesn't mean you have to listen.

What you're doing
is just way too important.

So screw Cal U.

Sometimes you just got
to figure out a way

around the wall.

That is solid advice.

Not bad, Sophomore, not bad at all.

Mm, Sophomore?

What happened to Freshman?

Oh, you know, just...

testing something new.

Talking to Aaron helped me realize

that there was no reason
I couldn't take my own advice.

And looking back
on my styling experiences,

I've learned to connect with
clients to help them communicate

what they want to say
about themselves to the world.

But I've also learned how
fashion can be used

to communicate a message
on a larger scale.

And so, to help me better
explore the intersection

of fashion and social movements
in a comprehensive way,

I'm here to ask your permission
to create my own major...

the Sociology of Fashion.

Hey, man.

Yo.

Um, I'm sorry. Why...
Why are you here, exactly?

I heard what went down the other night.

Yeah, it was pretty rough.

You're gonna come in.
All right, come in. Sit down.

- How you feeling, man?
- I don't know.

A little numb, a little shocked.

It all kind of feels like...
a bad dream.

I feel that.

I've, uh,... I've had some dark times.

- Really?
- Really dark times.

Came over to bring you this.

It's, um... zucchini bread.

It's super fire.
Took me two days to perfect it.

Well, thank you, man.

That's... real nice of you.

Try it, bro. Go on.

Taste it. Get in there.

All right.

- Damn.
- Right?

- That's good.
- I know.

When I was going through
my rough moments,

someone taught me
to always look for happiness

- in the little things.
- Mm-hmm.

So, next time you find yourself

marinating in a hopeless, grim road,

just think about the little things.

Do you think that what happened
the other night was me?

Uh, yeah.

They said some guy with weird
hair at Hawkins tried to end it.

No, man! That was P.J.

And nobody tried to end anything.

- P.J.?
- Yeah.

- That's fire.
- P.J... P.J...

Ohh, wow, P.J.!

That makes so much more sense.

No wonder nobody in the group
was talking about it.

Yeah.

I'm actually working
on a little something

to help the whole situation.

Check her out.

Organizing a fundraiser to help get

better mental health support
for the students here.

Wow. That's...

That's major.

- Yeah.
- Well, you know,

if you need help with anything,
you know,

a little, uh, gluten-free
zucchini bread to auction off...

...hit me up.

So, I had no idea if my presentation

impressed the board

or just confused them into saying "yes".

But later that night, I was informed...

Your girl is officially declared.

The Sociology of Fashion!

Now I just got to find my crew

so we can go k*ll this Fundie Run.

That's right. m*rder in a tutu!

As I ran with my girls, I realized

that, despite
all the stress and pressure,

college really is bliss,

paradise, utopia.

And, sure, there were challenges.

But once you push past them,

it really is amazing.

- Oh!
- Oh!

Until the next challenge
inevitably presented itself.

Yeah, hi. Uh, we need... we need
a campus medic immediately.

My friend just fell.

All right. Black minds, everybody.

Black minds, my man. Pay attention.

They don't want you to know.

Oh-ho, not on my watch!

I'm coming! Hold on!

Ohh.

You guys are about
to make life, not end it.

Okay. Well, continue.

There's way too many candles
in here, though.

It's a fire hazard. So just...

...keep that in mind.

All right. Thank you.