03x01 - Crunch Time

[bunniefuu]

Junior year, b*tches!

Your girl's officially home
from London Town,

and I am now an upperclasswoman.

Which means in four short semesters,

the party plug is pulled

and I'm tossed out into the real world.

Which is exactly why
I'm considering this year

the pre-game to adulthood.

And what is the pre-game
to adulthood, you ask?

It's when hard work meets preparation.

Thank you.

You know how you never want
to show up to a party sober?

You never want to show up
to adulthood unprepared...

or sober.

So, this is why I spent my summer

k*lling it in the U.K.

and getting ahead of the job game.

My brand is doing a pop-up
in a few days.

You should come, too.

- Like a job?
- Yeah, a job.

I went from working retail
at Joey Bada$$'s boutique

to running it

to becoming his personal stylist
by the time I left.

So I guess you could say
I went from being "cup bitch"

to "that bitch."

And how did I achieve all this?

By putting an entire ocean between me

and all the drama I created
before I left for the summer.

We're done.

What?

And so even though we're all
back on campus together,

I've decided to maintain
at least a 5-kilometer distance

between me and my distractions.

Who, if you weren't clear,
are Aaron and Luca.

- Welcome home!
- Surprise!

I'm not quite sure
what the conversion rate is,

but I do not think that's 5 kilometers.

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪ Learn something new every day ♪

♪ I don't know, so I'm-a feel my way ♪

♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪

♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

- ♪ I'm grown ♪
- ♪ You can tell me ♪

♪ My heart b*ating so loud ♪

♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

Yay!

Aah! Wait!

Thank you.

So, what's the best way
to avoid your distractions?

To distract yourself with other things.

Obviously.

Classic double distraction.

To Zoey's homecoming!

Kicking off junior year HBCU-style.

Whose house?!

Our house!

Thank you.

Guys, I cannot believe
that you did all of this for me.

Well, it was actually to pay tribute

to the longstanding history
of Black students

getting shut out of White universities.

But... yeah, it was also for you.

Aww!

Uh, hey, man. It's 20 to get in.

Uh, I don't have any cash.
Can I just send it to you?

No. Cash only. I don't put my
bank information on the Internet.

That's how they got 21 Savage.

Out.

Bye.

Sky, are y'all charging
to get in to my party?

How much do you think we got
paid to run track this summer?

Yeah. Nothing.

I spent six weeks in a cast

and three more in a walking boot.

It's gonna take a lot of money
to keep these feet

in nothing but retro Jordans for now.

- Mm.
- Fair.

But also, where's Nomi?

Please do not tell me that you made her

stay in her room because she's White.

Actually, she gets in tonight.

But if she was here,
she'd be more than welcome.

- We'd just charge her double.
- For reparations.

Okay, everyone, inside,

'cause Zoey has to see our new place!

Come on, come on, come on!

Okay, wow!

Wow. Guys, this place is amazing!

Aw, come on, guys.

What part of "No boots in the house"

does the step team not get?

Hi.

Hey, Zoey! Welcome home!

Thank you.

Um... and just so you know,

in this house, we go shoeless.

- O... kay.
- Okay?

So... Excuse me.

It was supposed to be just me
and the girls living here,

but what can I say?

This house is expensive,
and he's a drug dealer.

And okay, sure, I may be
back in my dad's good graces

and making money,

but come on... look at this place.

- Let's go see the rest of the house.
- Yes!

Get crazy! Okay!

I see you! Where we at?

- Yo.
- Hmm?

You wanna see those booties
move in slow motion?

How would...

What is that?

Green batter, shroom icing,

raw, organic, cold-pressed coconut oil.

I'm sorry. That's a hard pass from me.

But thank you. I appreciate it.

Bro, you live to elevate an experience.

Why not elevate yourself today?

Look, I just don't think the
first time I dip into shrooms

should be when they're the icing
on a weed brownie, okay?

- You know what that sounds like?
- What?

That sounds like Junior Year Aaron.

Senior Year Aaron needs
to be contemplating the fact

that this is
his last first college party

- at Cal U.
- Last...

Last... Last first? What's that mean?

Bro, college's grim reaper
is knocking at your door,

demanding your red Solo cup.

You got almost no time left to go...

all the way in...

with all this.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, look...

I'm not susceptible to peer pressure.

- All right?
- Okay. Okay.

But I'm a senior, so I'm susceptible

to this whole "last first" situation.

- Mm-hmm.
- So I'm gonna take your brownie.

What's gonna happen to me,
though? A-Am I gonna be okay?

- Yes.
- Will I hug a tree?

Look, you'll probably
witness some colors

that don't even exist.

And then after that,
possible night blindness

and vicious nausea.

But, I mean, come on. Let's just do it.

One time for the one time.

Cheers. This is dumb.

Yes, sir.

Okay, pause.

Did she just interrupt our strut?

No. She would not do that.

Not unless it was
a life-or-death emergency.

And it is.

Um, I actually have a confession
to make, and it's a...

Oh, my gosh. It's a funny story.

Such a funny story.

You know the day I was headed to London

and I had... Aaron drive me
to the airport?

Well, you know,
I was headed to the plane,

getting my bags, and...

I may have kissed him.

Where?

Ew. On his lips.

Ew. I meant in the car or on the tarmac?

Oh. Well, it was more of,
like, a curbside situation.

And then what happened?

And then I got on the plane.

And, dude, I am
so beyond sorry for this.

I was such an emotional wreck,

and, like, I had broken up with Luca,

- and I was about to leave, and so I didn't...
- Zoey, stop.

It's okay.

I've gone from repulsed animosity

to simply just detesting him

to barely feeling a spark of friendship.

Okay. Well, um...

Where do you guys stand now?

Well, we stand nowhere.

I didn't talk to him all summer.

And I do not want my first
reach-out to be at my party.

Whose party?

Girl, just let her have this.

She obviously needs it.

Zoey, you're gonna
have to talk to him about it

at some point,
so just rip the Band-Aid off.

- Do it now.
- Rip it.

Rip it.

Hunh!

Hey, Aaron.

Oh, hey. Hey, Zoey.

You're glowing.

Aaron, stop. Just stop.

Before we continue this,

I really do think we have to
talk about our incident.

At the airport... our kiss.

- Oh! Yeah.
- Yeah.

I mean... I mean, yeah,
we can talk about it,

but it was just a little...
kiss, you know?

Not a big deal. We didn't even smash.

- You're right.
- Right.

Wow, you're actually so right.

- It was just a kiss.
- Yeah.

But don't get me wrong.

I mean, I feel like
you definitely wanted to smash.

- What?
- Yeah, and even you talking about it now

makes me feel like
you still wanna smash.

- Ooh!
- Just tell me. I mean...

- I don't.
- You sure?

Okay, Freshman.

I'm gonna go find Doug...

before you try and kiss me again,
'cause you know how you get.

Oh! I'll just try
and control myself over here.

You know, I'm really glad we're cool.

Yeah. We're fine.

Unless we smash.
Then we'd be really cool.

Just kidding.

- Unless you want to.
- Still don't.

- All right.
- All right.

- Peace!
- Peace!

That was so not worth

the 30 minutes of stress belly
I just endured.

I mean, who knew that you could
deal with your distractions,

move on, and feel better?

And do it all
while working around the clock

as a celebrity stylist.

I hate to say it,

but Zoey came back from London
k*lling it.

Let the pre-game begin!

Welcome home, kid.

Hey. Uh...

I feel like I owe you an apology.

You do?

He does?

Yeah, I mean, even though you were wrong

about a lot of things
when we were together...

like, an unsettling amount.

Like, almost everything you said
was questionable.

Okay, did America change
the definition of "apology"

while I was gone?

But you weren't wrong about one thing...

Joey.

I mean, I should've
handled things better.

But that's my ankh to bear,
you know? So...

Yeah.

Wow. Uh...

I... I... Thank you, Luca.

You know, that really means a lot to me.

And trust me, I know there's a whole lot

we both could have handled differently.

Like me ghosting you internationally...

for sure, not my best look.

Hey, the cosmos course-corrected.

I actually ended up doing

some of the best work of my life
this summer.

Oh, my goodness!

So I guess you could kind of say, like,

I was, like, your... your muse.

- Ooh.
- Mm...

More like anti-muse.

Wow, that's a sick name for my brand.

Oh, okay.

Well, I'm just... glad you're not mad.

Hmm?

Well, I mean, don't get me wrong.

At first, I was big mad.

Big, big mad, you know?

I just kept replaying the day you left.

- You know, sending all the texts.
- Mm.

Chasing you to the airport.

Chasing you to the airport...

Chasing you to the airport...

Chasing you to the airport...

Airport, you know?

Guys...

Luca chased me to the airport.

It's really kicking in.

It really is, man.

And this is my last first party,
you know?

You guys have another year,
but for me...

this is it.

Yo, check this out.

Yeah?

I forgot what I was about to say.

Can I be real with you?

Yeah.

Zoey kissed me
before she got on the plane.

Oh! What'd you just say?

Yeah.

I barely have a nail on my pinkie toe.

Damn it.

Hey, I'm so sorry, guys,

but I think I need to leave my party.

- Bye.
- Deuces.

Why does the burden of concern
always fall on me?

No! You can't leave!

No, but Joey needs me to pull some looks

for this on-camera thing tomorrow,

and he just sent me
the Black chef emoji,

which means he's starting
to lose his patience,

since it goes
Black detective, Black chef,

and then Black fireman.

And let's just say

I replaced the last girl
that got the Black fireman.

Oh, I know that order.

Girl, you need to go.

I know, but...

Okay.

Okay, I found out that Luca followed me

to the airport the day I left,

and I need a moment
to unpack that with you all.

- Wait a minute... Luca did what?
- I know.

- To say what?
- I don't know.

Well, does he want to get back together?

I don't know.

How are all these guys so into you?

I do not...

I'm baffled, quite honestly.
I don't know.

I don't know anything,
hence the unpacking.

Well, in here with us is
the wrong place to unpack it.

She's right. Get... those... answers.

You're right.

I am going to go handle this

like the mature, global citizen
that I am.

'Cause that's what I am.

London...

Whew!

Is this what it's like living with her?

Sadly, yeah.

Nah, man. This is not an inside party.

All right? Bushes to the right.

Hey, yo, can you please
not encourage people

to pee in our plants?

And also, have you seen Luca?

Uh, yeah. He just left.

Yeah, he said something about
needing to find a pay phone?

Yeah, asked me for change for a $2 bill.

Thought that was super weird.

Uh, you could probably
still catch him, though.

All right.

Oh, no.

Fu...

Check, check, check. Testing, 1, 2, 3.

It was only Day 1 back at Cal U,

and I had already gone

from being the focused,
accomplished adult

who didn't think about boys all summer

to the spun-out, immature girl

- Hey.
- who couldn't stop obsessing over Luca.

What do you say?

I say the same thing
I said two minutes ago, Zo.

I told you I want a turtleneck.

What's... Where your mind at
today? Like...

What's up with that outfit?

I was at a party where I had
a weird run-in thing

with, uh, Luca.

Oh, he keyed your car?

- No.
- Oh.

Well, if he did, I'd want to know.

Not that I'd be mad or anything,

but maybe just a little disappointed.

Uh... yeah, no, he actually told me

that he chased me to the airport
the day I left for London.

To k*ll you?

- No.
- Oh.

'Cause then I'd be mad.

- Good to know.
- Mm-hmm.

Try this one on. Nice turtleneck.

Okay.

Now, that's beautiful.

- Yeah, sure.
- I like this.

But it's also a wool/cashmere blend.

And what if it's really hot
under those studio lights?

Or what if they go to mic you
and they, like,

stretch out the neck
and make it all droopy?

Zoey, why are you giving me
things I can't wear?

I'm not. No, you totally can wear it.

It's just... I don't want you
to have any regrets.

You know what... do me a favor

and stop turning my turtleneck
into your dude.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about you
second-guessing yourself

and projecting your doubts
about your dude

onto my very clear vision
of looking like

a Black Steve Jobs
on television tomorrow.

Okay. I am not second-guessing
my decision with Luca.

Mnh.

Okay.

Maybe a little.

But I don't know... it's just,
like, I keep thinking about,

what if he did catch me
that day at the airport

and said something amazing and...

- Mm-hmm.
- ...we got back together?

He could've come to London.

Or what if he caught you,
said something amazing,

and you never made the plane at all?

No, that would have never happened,

because nothing was gonna stop me

from getting on that plane
and taking this job.

Then there it is.

Stop second-guessing yourself,

'cause it's really messing
with your focus.

N... I'm here.

I'm focused. I'm focused.

Not today you're not.

You made me "Black fire marshal" you.

Good God.

That was the fire marshal?

Look, I am so, so sorry.

And, admittedly,
I have been a little distracted.

Look, word to the wise?

Don't distract yourself
out of a job, Zo.

Don't let that stuff cloud
what you know is right.

You got k*ller instinct.

Just go for it.

Right. You're right. You're right.

And... thank you.

Yo, think about it.

After this year...

it's over for me.

- See?
- Yeah.

You have to live every last first moment

like it's your last first moment.

You're absolutely right.

From this moment on,

I'm gonna enjoy
my final college moments.

Yeah.

Hey!

I thought I politely asked you to leave.

No. You were actually hella rude
and kicked me out.

But yet here you are.

Do you happen to have a 20
to put in my hand?

Okay, look... how about I take you out

for 40 bucks' worth of drinks
this week to make up for it?

Why 40? It's only a $20 cover charge.

Yeah, but what kind of a place
can I take someone like you

for only 20?

Someone like me?

Yeah.

Someone super cute...

...a little terrifying.

Fine.

But make it 60.

Hey!

- Hey.
- So...?

Did you talk to Luca?

No. Didn't catch him.

Aw, sweetie. I'm so sorry.

I know you really wanted those answers.

Actually, though, it's okay.

I really don't need to know
what he was gonna do

or what he was gonna say
at that airport.

That stuff is...

It's just so last year.

So why don't we...
get started on this one?

Yes, ma'am! Let's do it.

Take it down like!

Ooh!

Through Joey's undying love
for turtlenecks,

I realized I had to stop
my second-guessing.

Allowing the "what ifs"
to creep into my headspace

was creating unnecessary doubt.

The reality was,
the only things that mattered

were the "right nows."

And anything other than
my girls, school, and my career

was just a distraction.

So, as I danced my way into junior year,

I promised myself
that I would stay focused

on the pre-game to adulthood

and deal with the rest as it came.

But as it turned out...

some of us skipped the pre-game

and went right into the party.

Whoo!

Senior year, b*tches!

Sounds like London was a good time.

Yeah. So, um, you know, London was dope.

They were, uh, super receptive to...

you know, to me out there, and, um...

Yo, is it hot in here?

Um...

Just one second. I'm sorry.

You guys got a bigger version of these?

Or can you bring me, like, seven more?

Yeah, so, London was dope.

It was...

It was, uh... How can I say?
It was, uh...

I-It was like a whole different
country, you know?

Zoey was right.

I'm sorry. I can't do this.