03x04 - Thinkin Bout You

[bunniefuu]

Backslides... sex with an ex,

a familiar, clothing-optional
walk down memory lane

that somehow always manages
to take you by surprise.

And while the aftermath
of the unplanned get-together

is immediately punctuated

with the intoxicating feeling
of riding high,

it's only a matter of time
before the thrill fades

and the sex hangover kicks in,

sending all other emotions
crashing down on you.

Aww. Looks like
someone's trying awfully hard

to find the right words for
his backslide with Big Zo-Zo.

What the hell are you talking about?

Bro, it's a crib full of five girls.

They talk.

And, you know, contrary to
what Zoey says,

you are not a quiet lover.

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪ Learn something new every day ♪

♪ I don't know, so I'm-a feel my way ♪

♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪

♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

- ♪ I'm grown ♪
- ♪ You can tell me ♪

♪ My heart b*ating so loud ♪

♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

Honestly, your font is gigantic.

That's the same size
my Grandma Ruth uses

to read David Alan Grier's Twitter feed.

You really need a privacy screen.

Would you then respect my privacy?

No, but it'd make
a really nice challenge.

Doug, get your girl, bro.

Can't. Too busy overachieving
for you slouches.

Can we get to work or what?

I don't know why you're
throwing so much shade.

I am 1,000% Team Zuca.

I want to see you two kids win.

And I want to win in this Econ class.

And we will.

But next time please do not win
on our kitchen counter

at the expense of my toaster
that my baby got me for Kwanzaa.

The one I got you for Kujichagulia?

Mm-hmm.

Tsk. Not cool, B.

Look, maybe just send Zoey
a smiley-face emoji.

It comes in light-skinned.

Jazz, no disrespect,

but you're gonna have to fall
all the way back, all right?

It's starting to feel like your presence

is crowding every single inch
of my higher spirit.

- Oh.
- I am good.

Zoey is good. We are all good.

Okay.

Can we please get to our project

so I can be good?

Because I'm not no track star,
and I'm not no rich SoHo kid.

I'm actually gonna need a career
when I graduate from here.

All right, let's go.

Let's do it.

You know what they say about three days?

It's a really long time
to go with no communication

after a backslide.

So call Zoey, bro.

"Yo"?

That's it?

Like, not even, like,
a "Yo, how's it going?"

"Yo, what's good?"
or, like, "Yo... semite?

Wanna go on a road trip?"

I think I preferred
three days of silence

over this confusing text.

What in the world am I supposed
to be doing with a "Yo"?

- "Yo," period. "Yo," period.
- Yeah.

- Zoey? Zoey?
- Hmm?

I brought you here to help me

with this voter-registration push,

not to obsess over a text from your ex.

We've got a House to flip back.

You promised that this
"Dorm Storm" was bipartisan.

It is. But I'm not,
and that's why I brought you.

- I don't...
- Okay, it's like, I spoke "friends" Luca.

I even mostly spoke "dating" Luca.

But I just do not understand this whole

"spontaneous situation
on a kitchen counter" Luca.

Ugh. The thought of Luca
and Zoey's bare ass cheeks

where we make our sandwiches...

Yeah, I think my baby
just threw up inside of me.

And, dudes, my whole plan this year

was to not be distracted by guys,

but here I am obsessing

over Luca's one-syllable "Yo" text.

- Points for seeing yourself.
- Ah.

Now we just have to tackle
your other flaws.

Right. I just thought
the other night was gonna be,

like, something fun
that kind of happened,

but it feels like a huge mistake.

Hey, you know, look on the bright side.

Sleeping with your ex is a great
way to keep your numbers down.

Remember... under seven,
straight to Heaven.

Over eight, period's late.

Only two. What do I do?

Ooh. There he is.

There who is?

Javi, the grad student
I was telling you guys about.

He's also kind of the boss
for my internship.

I so just want to make
a good impression.

Yeah, you do.

Okay, fine.

Yes, he's attractive, and he...
he checks all of my boxes.

But this internship is my ticket

to a law school
that's not in a strip mall.

And I'm not gonna screw it up
by screwing Javier.

I'm... I'm just gonna
go check in with him.

Do I have any lipstick on my teeth?

No. But that shade
of "Thirst Bucket Pink"

- looks amazing on you.
- Mm-hmm.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Zo, are you really obsessing
over a little booty-call text?

A what?

You think that this is
a booty-call text?

- Mm.
- Sweetie, any text

coming from your ex
that starts with "Yo"

after you've had
no communication with him

since your backslide
only means one thing...

he wants to smash again.

All right, look, just trust me
from experience.

Unless you want to set
a precedent with Luca,

you have to set things
straight with him.

Really, SoHo?

Now you just not showing up
for study sessions?

We were supposed to do this Econ
project over an acai bowl, man.

Apologies, but I actually
already ate one.

The bowl was calling my name.

Damn.

This spot is fire.

If I wasn't so secure, this
might shake up my confidence.

You know what?

Can we just pick this up tomorrow?

I'm not feeling it, all right?
Got a lot on my mind.

No. Absolutely not.

We're not doing this tomorrow

because tomorrow turns into
the day after tomorrow,

and then that turns into
a whole-other-ass week from now,

and we have to get this done.

Bro, I take my future serious, man.

You know what generational wealth is?

No.

I'm not religious. No offense.

Yo, I'm not trying to work
at no Cal U store

for the rest of my life.

I'm trying to build an empire like Jay,

like Buffett, or old-school Carnegie

or them dudes that own NBA teams
or... or... or ketchup.

And all of that starts
right here for me.

So, if you got to burn your little sage

or smoke a blunt
or get in that bubble bath

you probably got going back there

or even sh**t another text
to homegirl, then you do that.

What text?

Stop. I saw you sh**t off
that baby text back in class.

And, yes, your font is
disgustingly large.

I had juvenile cataracts, all right?

So, I'm gonna ask you this once
so we can get to work, man.

Are you good?

No, I'm not good, all right?

I messed up. I shouldn't have
sent that text to Zoey.

All right, fine. Let's chop it up.

You got anything to drink?

Well, Mr. Jackson,

it looks like you are right
in the pocket here.

Your GPA is solid.
Your credits are on track.

So, with all this,
I think that you'll be walking

down that commencement aisle
in June, my friend.

Awesome.

Doesn't seem like
the right song, but okay.

Great. So, we're all set here?

Yup. I just need
a simple signature from you

on this promissory note
for your repayment plan...

...for your student loans,
and I'll make it all official.

Super simple. Super simple. Gotcha.

Right. Okay, so, this here...

is this supposed to be
my Social Security number?

'Cause that's not it.

Uh, you are correct.

No. That's actually the amount you owe

for your four years here at Cal U.

Seriously?

Well, how... how can that be?

I had the... the government money,

and then I did the, um...
the Pell thing.

Yeah, Pell Grants aside, you
still have to pay back the rest.

So, your signature here
just confirms your commitment

to pay this number monthly for
the next 25 or 30 years or so.

Unless you hit it big,

in which case
you will still owe that amount,

but, uh, I'll have your
autograph, so that's cool.

And you go right next
to Sisqó of Dru Hill fame.

Okay.

Look, this is a lot of money, man.

You know, I just... I don't
feel comfortable signing this.

I feel like I maybe need some
sort of representative present,

like... like a lawyer
or something, you know?

Did Sisqó have a lawyer?

I-I... You know, I don't recall.

Maybe.

I just... I just really love Sisqó.

Okay, well, I'm... I'm not signing this.

I... I just can't.

Look, Mr. Jackson,
I know it's overwhelming

when you see that number
in black and white.

Yeah.

But regardless, you will
have to pay this back,

and the longer you put it off,

you're just making it
harder on yourself.

Damn.

I can't believe I put myself
out there with that text.

I wish your girl hadn't gotten
in my head like that.

Come on. In all fairness,

you was gonna sh**t
that text off regardless.

Exactly. sh**t it off,
then forget about it.

But then Jazz hit me with the
"three days, no communication"

bullshit in my head, and now I'm like,

"Why hasn't Zoey hit me back?"

What was she supposed to do...
blow you up over a "Yo" text?

By sending those two
stupid little letters,

I just transferred all the power
back to her.

Damn. Is everything about you relaxing?

Oh, wow.

What?

Uh, she hit me back.

Well, look. Looks like you got
your power back now, bro.

No.

She said, "We need to talk."

Ohh, she hit you with
the "We need to talk"?

Damn, son, that's all bad.

Nothing good ever came out of
two people having to talk.

Thank you for your dedication
to democracy.

Wow.

Uncircumcised? Who draws those?

There you guys are. Hey.

I thought you were working with Douglas.

He asked if I could sit this one out

'cause our boy Luca

is in his feelings so hard

over his backslide with Big Zo-Zo.

What do you mean,
Luca's in his feelings?

When we were in class this morning,

the man was not himself.

He was struggling
to figure out what to text you

and using this crazy big font.

He's riding an emotional
roller coaster, Zoey,

and possibly losing his vision.

Wait. So, he was struggling to text me?

Of course. You haven't hit him
up in like three days.

Well, that's just because
I didn't want to seem thirsty,

but, you know, now I feel awful.

Why? You broke up with him.

Yeah. Who cares if he's tripping?

I care, Sky, because I'm
an empathetic human being.

All right, no one could have
predicted that Luca

would have come out of this
more butt-hurt than you, but...

- Yeah, that's true.
- ...he did, so you won.

But I didn't want to win, you know?

I wanted us to be on the same page

about this adult, very fun,
very casual thing

- we did on the kitchen counter.
- Mnh.

The last thing I'd want to do
is hurt someone I love.

Wait. So, you love him?

Of course I do.

You don't just stop loving someone

that you were with
pretty intensely for a year.

And we had a very, very intense year.

Honey, it was intense for everyone.

Wait. Zoey, do you want
to get back with Luca?

What? No.

No. I mean, I-I don't know.

Listen, sweetie, if I were
an empathetic human being,

I would tell you that
maybe you need to try

and figure out your feelings
and see what you really want

because until you do,

neither you nor Luca will be
able to move on, okay?

But I'm dead inside,
so can you figure it out

so we can go back to
this voter-registration hell

that Ana's thirsty ass has roped us into

before Nomi drops her illegitimate child

on this scratchy crab grass?

Hmm.

Sheesh. "Luca, we need to talk."

Hey, she hit you
with your government name.

That's some cold assassin sh*t.

And I [bleep] did it to myself.

I mean, it took me all summer
to get over the embarrassment

of running after her
when she got on that plane.

Okay, but you're already
in this situation.

Look, there's three reasons
why people backslide.

They're either drunk,
desperate, or still in love.

Well, I wasn't drunk,
and I'm never desperate.

So then you still love her.

Of course I still love her.

Okay. So, you all really do have
something to talk about then.

Man.

Maybe I just need to get some fresh air

and figure out what's what.

And circle and circle
and circle and join.

All right, dude,
why do you have to disrespect me

and sit on my dead face?
I'm already dead.

How else am I supposed to
show dominance?

You know what? How about
next time you try winning

against an opponent that doesn't
have a-a janky controller, man?

My squares and X's aren't working.

I got you. Okay, I've been waiting

for the right opportunity
to bring out Goldilocks.

Oh, yeah.

Wow. How much did this thing cost?

I don't know. Half a stack. Who cares?

Half a stack. Right.

Can I ask you a question?
Do you have any debt at all?

I think I'm floating like $12.98
on my Yogurtland Visa.

Anyway, let's rock-'n'-roll, man.

Right, right, right.
Come on. Come on. Come on.

All right. Ohh. Ohh.

Dude, I just sh*t you in the face,

and I'm tea-bagging the hole.

Look alive. Where's your head at?

You know, let's take a rain check.

Um... I'm not really feeling
the game right now.

I'll rain-check all over your face!

Wait. What am I saying?

Okay, so, we only have

a few more voter-registration
forms left.

It's time to divide and conquer.

Who's fired up?

No. I'm dividing myself from this group

and conquering my bed.

We're gonna go register people
at the athletes' dorms.

- Yes!
- She means we're going to Del Taco.

What?

Guys!

Yeah, Ana, I think
I'm gonna head out, too.

I better call Luca
and figure this whole thing out.

No, Big Zo-Zo. Please?

Why do you all keep calling me that?

Like, when did this become a thing?

Come on. I am so close to
hitting my goal today,

and I really want to impress Javi...

on a purely professional basis.

Sure.

Zoey, please just hit up
a few more people,

and then I promise you can go
and get your love life straight.

Fine.

Thank you.

And remember... you'll get more
signatures if you smile.

Smile.

With your eyes, too, please.

No? Okay.

Perfect. Thank you,
Grandma Ruby Johnson.

- Jillian?
- Zoey.

Hey. I had no clue
that you lived in Hawkins.

Yeah. I love it here so far. What's up?

Oh, I'm here reluctantly helping
a friend register voters

to impress some guy she swears
she's not trying to impress.

Wow. You're a great friend, man,

because I would have forged all these.

Mm. Trust me, I registered
the entire cast

of "Teen Mom OG."

Fun fact... they're voting age now.

- Nice.
- Yeah.

All right, here you go.

Okay. Thanks. Bye!

You're [bleep] kidding me.

Got it. So, while I've been stressing

about how Luca feels over
our backslide situation,

he's apparently slipped
right into another one.

Hi.

Yo.

I'm really sorry about last night.

I hope you know that I never
meant for you to see that.

Well, I did.

I think I really just don't
want us to hate each other,

and I kind of feel like that's
what's happening right now.

I mean, I don't want that, either.

Mm.

Look, Luca, the other night
between us was fun,

but it clearly made everything
super confusing.

And, sure, you know what?

We obviously are gonna see each other

between school and friends, but...

Yeah.

Yeah.

I guess we should just call this
what it is, huh?

The end...

...again.

Looks like it.

When it comes to a backslide,
after the initial high,

after you've ridden
the emotional roller coaster,

in the end, all you're left
with is the pain.

Yo.

I figured we could bowl in.

Sure.

So, how'd it go yesterday?

I thought about going to Zoey

for this whole complicated conversation,

but it felt so... complicated.

And the truth is, no matter what
was said, there's just no point.

I already know how that story ends.

Word.

And ultimately, the only way
to fix that pain

is to walk away
from the roller coaster...

or person who caused it... for good.

So, now what?

So, now we work.

There we go.

- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, God.

You guys hungry?
I can make one for you, too.

Hard pass.

Vivek, do you have any idea
what happened on t...

No, no. Let's let this play out.

Suit yourself.

Mmm.

This sandwich is delicious.

What?