04x13 - OK Not to Be OK

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Grown-ish". Aired: January 3, 2018 - present.*
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Zoey heads off to college and begins her hilarious journey to adulthood.
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04x13 - OK Not to Be OK

Post by bunniefuu »

After a series of brutal disappointments,

starting from when her sister Sky
made the Olympics and she didn't,


to her breakup with Doug,

to her quitting track altogether,

and, finally, to her
short-lived romance with Des


coming to an abrupt end,

Jazz was left with an
overwhelming feeling of emptiness.


And that emptiness had given
way to a void inside of her


that sapped her of any
energy or enthusiasm,


until the only way that Jazz
could deal with this void


was to avoid it altogether.

♪ This way ♪

Okay, uh... Okay.

(gently) Hey, Jazz.

Sweetie.

You're really scaring us.

NOMI: Mm-hmm.

(Television playing faintly)

Okay. We need to talk.



♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪ Learn something new every day ♪

♪ I don't know, so I'mma feel my way ♪

♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪

♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

- ♪ I'm grown ♪
- ♪ You can tell me ♪

♪ My heart b*ating so loud ♪

♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

So, Jazz, buddy...

we can't help but notice

that you might have a slight
case of, um, the gloomies.

- You haven't come out with us lately.
- Mm.

You've been missing your classes.

And, hey, Jazz, you've been
sitting in the exact same place

for a few days now, and, honestly,

I haven't seen you use the bathroom.

Is this about your fallout with Des?

Nothing's about Des.

I just haven't been wanting to engage

with anyone in a minute, okay?

- Okay.
- Come on, Jazz, talk to us.

What's going on? Are you
still going to therapy?

Kind of. I overslept and missed
my session a few weeks ago

and I'm supposed to
reschedule, but, you know,

I'll get around to it in due time.

Okay, well, Jazz, we love you,

and we absolutely hate
seeing you in pain,

and it's clear that you're
struggling with something,

so you should make an appointment,

because sweeping your problems
under the rug is not healthy.

And, honestly, we're just
gonna keep hounding you

until you make that appointment, so...

Mm-hmm. And you know
how annoying I can be.

Oh, I do. We all do.

But if you promise to
leave me alone, fine.

I'll call.

(Cellphone rings and vibrates)

Um, excuse me. I thought

sweeping problems under
the rug was not healthy.

- Was that Aaron I just saw you sweep?
- Uh, no.

Because what I did was
direct his call to voicemail,

as the sound of his voice
still rips my heart out.

So, at a later date, in which
I'm in a less fragile state,

I'll read the transcript to his message,

which I already know is
about picking up my stuff,

'cause he's hit me like
five times about it.

So, as you can see, Ana,
this is not a problem.

This is a solution.

- Mm-hmm. Sweep, sweep.
- Mm-hmm.

(Scoffs) Well, what do you want from me?

This breakup has been hard.

We want you to stop hiding
behind these voicemails

and acknowledge the pain
you're in and push through it,

- because you did nothing wrong.
- Mm-hmm.

He's the one who should be
feeling awkward, not you.

So, come on, woman
up. Put on a perky bra.

Go get your stuff.

You're right. I mean,
what am I scared of?

- I... I can do this.
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you can absolutely do this.

Oh, you're going to do this.

I am going to do this!

(Knock on door)

I'm here to pick up Zoey's crap.

Right. Makes sense.

Um, well, come in.
I'll go grab the boxes.

Okay.

- (Clears throat)
- (Cellphone beeping)

So, this is your place, huh?

Yeah. Okay, well, this
is all her stuff, so...

You know, I've actually...
I've got some time, so, uh,

why don't you show me
around your little château?



Y... yeah.

(Sighs)

("Gotta Be" by APM playing)

Okay. You're dismissed.

Hold up. I didn't even
get to catch my breath yet.

- Are you seriously kicking me out?
- Respectfully.

I just have to prepare
for this BSU panel

I'm moderating tonight.

Oh. Look at you on your Ida B. Wells.

- That sounds dope, though.
- Thanks.

Tonight's the first time
Cal U's journalism school

is letting a freshman moderate
one of their alumni panels,

so I'm just kinda nervous.

Like really nervous.

Yeah, well, I mean, it's
hard to sound reassuring

with my nipples out, but,
uh, you're gonna do great.

- What time's the panel?
- : .

All right, well, that's the time

I'll be there to watch you make history.

♪ That way I could learn ♪

♪ That way I could make it worth it ♪

Leave me your underwear so I can wear it

under my dress for good luck.

God, you're so weird.

But it's sexy as hell.

(Chuckles)

Take 'em.

Dr. Jenkins: So, it's
been a few weeks, Jazz.

I've been wondering about
you and how you were.

Well, uh, my friends
are worried about me.

- Why's that?
- (Sighs)

Because they're a
bunch of messy-ass girls

who constantly have to
be up everyone's butts

dissecting their issues,

and, apparently, I'm the
butt they're up this week

because they can't let it
go that I just want to chill,

watch TV, and eat
sweet and salty snacks.

Okay. Well, have you
tried some of the methods

we've discussed for shifting your mood?

Unplugging from social
media, meditating,

implementing a self-care
ritual before bed?

I've tried all that, and
none of it seems to work.

Well, in your case,

you've experienced a lot
of big changes recently,

not to mention that you're
now on the cusp of graduation,

which is yet another huge change.

Ah. And don't forget...

I have absolutely no idea what I
want to do with the rest of my life.

Look...

in light of everything you've told me,

I'm concerned that your ability
to cope with these stressors

isn't moving in the right direction.

I think it's time to consider
other alternatives.

(Chuckles)

Uh...

Other alternatives. Like... Like what?

I'm talking more like medication.



ZOEY: Um... Hey!

So... how was therapy?

Ugh. Fine. Dr. Jenkins
thinks I'm suffering

from some sort of situational
depression or whatever

called Adjustment
something. I don't know.

And she recommends I take some meds.

Oh. Wait. That's amazing.

I have the cutest pill organizer

that I found on Etsy, and
I'm gonna send you the link.

No, you won't, because
I'm not taking anything.

I don't want to depend on a
pill to make me feel better.

Okay, but, Jazz, if it's situational,

then it's not gonna be forever.

Okay? It's like... Remember
when I was taking meds

for my postpartum depression?

I just needed some temporary
help to ease my suffering.

The pills worked. That was that.

Uh, Nomi. Wait. Aren't
you still on them?

I saw you take a pill this morning.

No, no, no. That wasn't for postpartum.

That was just, like, something fun

that I found in an old gym bag.

See? And this is the exact reason

why I don't mess with medication.

It's a slippery slope.

Mnh. I respectfully disagree, all right?

Per my background in pharmacology...

- You mean drug dealing.
- Eh, Vicodin, Vicodan.

Anyways, antidepressants aren't
some type of party drug, all right?

Most of them you have
to take for a few weeks

before you even really
feel them working.

So it is totally safe to
begin your road to recovery,

in my professional opinion.

You're a college dropout
who has a misdemeanor

drug charge on his record
who's living a lie at work,

so I will respectfully decline
your professional opinion.

Okay. Fine. Be miserable. See if I care.

I care a lot.

Look, Jazz, I totally
get where you're coming from.

When I had my anxiety
att*cks a few years ago,

the doctors gave me a prescription

for some medication,
but I never filled it.

I... I don't know. I just...

I felt weird about taking
something every day.

But didn't you have, like, a
raging Addy habit freshman year?

- Yeah.
- Mm.

Honestly, none of you pill poppers

are making the case for going on meds,

but, most importantly, if I did,

I would feel like such a failure
for relying on such a crutch.

- Wh...
- No. Jazz, that stigma,

it's so outdated, it's so harmful.

There is nothing wrong

with taking advantage
of modern medicine.

No, you don't get it!

As an athlete, I train
to be in full control

of my mind and my body

and not to be mentally
or physically weak.

So if I can manipulate
my body to run faster

and to jump higher and to be stronger,

then, for sure, I can get
myself out of this, okay?

I just... I just need a bit more time.

I mean, if she can control
her body as well as she claims,

wouldn't she be in the Olympics?

Vivek.

Please. You were thinkin' it.



And so, my question is...

do you think the Civil Rights
Movement ever really ended?

Or is it just a continuation
of the same movement,

granted with some starts
and stops along the way?

I'd like to take this one.

I think the answer is
there in your question.

- (Cellphone vibrates)
- I believe that the fight for civil rights has been

and will always be a constant struggle.

The specifics of what
we're fighting for...

("Inside" by Dumbfoundead
ft. Satica playing)

♪ Ohh ♪

I-I just... I never expected
to feel so torn about my future.

I mean, you know what
a decisive person I am.

I see something that I
want, and I go for it.

Yeah, no, I remember. (Chuckles)

Yeah, I guess between the protests

and my breakup with Javi

and that scooter accident, just my...

I guess my view of
the world just changed.

I never thought that would happen.

Just like I never
thought you'd still have

that hideous cowhide
rug from your dorm room!

Hideous? (Scoffs) Come on.

You never complained about it
before. That rug is amazing.

Uh, yeah, well, clearly, my
judgment used to be a lot worse.

Wow.

(Sipping)

Whoa. You, uh... You want another one?

Yep. And giddy up, cowboy.

I have not heard from
Ana in over an hour.

Detective Torres must
be really searching

every inch of that place.

- Yeah. All nine inches.
- What? What?

I don't like this,
Zoey, okay? Not. At. All.

Do you think something could
be going on between them?

- You know, nakedly?
- Mnh-mnh.

- Maybe even digitally?
- Ick!

And, no, because that is my best friend

and my very newly ex-boyfriend.

Yeah, who used to smash
behind your back. Okay?

And let's not forget she let me
hop aboard the Ana choo-choo,

so there's no telling what my
little bomboncita might do.

Bomboncita?

It means "little candy"
in her native tongue.

Being with him is my punishment

for not picking up my own damn stuff.



(Knock on door)



Hey. What are you doing here?

I got a text from your
friends saying it looked like

you could really use Sky right now,

but since she's not around,

I thought I'd bring you
the next best thing, so...

here I am.

Let's see. All right. How about this?

Have you tried going to church?

Have you tried taking
a scalding-hot bath?

And my... this is my
personal favorite...

Have you tried using the bathroom?

(Chuckles) Oh, my God. You
sound exactly like my dad.

How did you know?

Because that's exactly my dad, too.

You know all Black
dads say the same stuff.

(Chuckles)

- Okay. Yeah.
- Uh...

(Sighs) So...

what do you think they'd
say about... antidepressants?

I don't know, man. We...

We wasn't really raised to,
you know, reach for a pill

when something was wrong.

- You know?
- Exactly.

And I think that's why
this whole medication thing

just isn't sitting right with me.

Okay, but... but look
at it this way, right?

Would it sit right with you
if you needed it for a migraine

or, uh, high blood pressure or... gas?

Yeah, but, Doug, this is different.


I'm not sick or gassy.

I'm just sad.



Jazz, you're one of the
strongest people I know.

So whether or not you
choose to take some pills,

it isn't gonna change that, you know?

I just... I'd hate to
see you be closed off

to something that can actually help you.

This is coming from a dude

who messed up things
with a really great person

'cause of closed-minded thinking.

(Cellphone vibrates)

Oh. I'm sorry.

_

(Chuckles softly) If you
have to go, you totally can.

I'm good just where I'm at.



(Rapid clicking)

Do... you... mind?

I said you could be out here
if you were normal!

How could either of us be
normal when, right this minute,

the two loves of our lives are
intertwining their genitals?

- (Cellphone ringing)
- Wow. Look.

Here's one pair of the innocent
genitals calling right now.

- (Ringing stops)
- Hey, hey.

ANA: (Giggles)

Oh, my gosh! This feels amazing!

- AARON: Told you.
- (Giggles
)

- Ana?
- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, my God!
- See? What'd I tell you?


I don't remember it feeling this g...

(Click)

Oh, my God.

And thank you again.

(Indistinct conversations)

Hey! What happened?

I didn't see you in the
audience when we finished.

I'm so sorry. I-I got a text

that a friend was in
a-a really bad place,

and I had to go over there.

Oh, my God. Are they gonna be okay?

I think so. How was
the rest of the panel?

Not to brag, but, um, hugely successful.

- Nice.
- (Chuckles)

But, uh, you know, once I realized

you weren't here to share
it with me, I just...

You know, I just... I
have to be honest with you.

Um, it made me feel
a certain type of way.

- Oh, word?
- What type of way is that?

A way that made me think that...

I want to be more than just casual.

Kiela, you... you know
I really like you a lot.

- Yeah.
- I do.

But... But things have been
going so good the way they are.

You know, why... why switch
it up and ruin that, you know?

Y-yeah. No, you're...
you're totally right.

Let's just, um, you
know, keep it as it is.

- All right.
- Yeah.



It was actually, oddly, really
nice catching up with you.

Yeah, it was, Torres. So, goodnight.

- Goodnight.
- Separate your genitals right now.

What the hell? What are you doing here?

I am so sorry.

I'm pretty sure he
has mercury poisoning.

We heard you having sex without us.

- Wh...
- You heard nothing like that.

- You know that, right?
- Wait, of course I do.

I mean, Vivek practically
dragged me here.

VIVEK: You butt-dialed Zoey.

What the hell felt so amazing if
you weren't having amazing sex?

Okay, not that I owe
you any explanation,

but I was touching his
ugly dead animal rug, Vivek.

And you? Zoey, seriously?

I came here to do you a favor,

'cause you were too much of
a scaredy-cat to face Aaron.

- Gosh, you... you all have issues.
- Well...

- Yeah...
- Bomboncita,
wait!

- Bombon-what?
- It means "little candy."

So...

- (Sighs)
- So...

You were really scared to face me?

Okay, well, not scared
scared, like "ahhh."

More... scared like,

this breakup's been really hard,

and I thought seeing you
was gonna make it harder.

And I was right.

Um...

it is.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, I get it.

It's...

It's kind of why I wanted
you to come get your stuff.

I mean, seeing your
tiny-ass socks every day

kind of put me in my feelings sometimes.

All the time.

It just kind of sucks, you know?

(Clears throat)

So, how's the "working
on yourself" stuff going?

You feel like you're in a better place?

Starting to. Yeah.

- Uh, turns out I really like teaching.
- Mm.

You know, kinda feels like
I'm making a difference,

- so that's good.
- Right. Right.

And... Right. Vivek told me
about your little Afro-Salon,

- which sounds amazing.
- Thank you.

Yeah, and Ana told me about
Anti-Muse starting to pop,

so that's... that's pretty tight, right?

Yeah, it is. It is.

Uh, and I'm starting to design again,

which feels really good.

- (Sighs)
- Uh...

So, I guess our breakup
was the best thing

for both of us, huh?

Yeah.

I guess so.



Like Jazz, I had been
attempting to avoid my own pain


by putting off seeing Aaron.

Um...

you know, I would say "see you around,"

but let's not.

I don't think I could handle it.

I get it.

- Okay.
- I have to go.

But now that I had,

I realized there was
just no side-stepping


the fact that we were over.

And my heart was broken.



Des!

- Hey!
- Jazz.

What up?

You running again?

Yeah.

My therapist thinks it's good for me,

so I'm doing everything I can
to make myself feel better.

Glad to hear it.

Yeah.

I'm really glad I ran into you,

because I've been meaning to apologize.

I was being such an
assh*le for thinking I could

pick and choose parts of you
that I was comfortable with.

Every part of you is amazing,

and I'm so sorry that
I didn't accept you

for everything that you are.

I, um...

I really appreciate hearing that.

I just wish it hadn't
taken me so long to say it.

Well, I-I don't want to hold you up.

I should let you get back to your run.

Maybe I'll see you around?

I hope so.



They say running away from your problems

only increases the
distance from the solution.


So, rather that continuing
to avoid those problems,


Jazz had finally decided to
run straight toward them.


And in doing so, she made peace

with the things that
were causing her stress,


and ensured that she'd never fall into

a void like that again.

Even if that meant being open

to some new alternatives for help.

- (Knock on door)
- Yeah?

Hey.

- Nomi said you wanted to talk.
- What's up?

"What's up?"

Vivek, today was insane.

We are not together.

Yeah, I know, Ana. I know. I'm sorry.

Look, there's nothing between us,

and you need to accept that.

(Speaking Spanish) _



(Grunts)

(Music stops suddenly)

(Exhales sharply)



(Gasps)

Oh (bleep)!
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