03x12 - Water on Water on Water

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Grown-ish". Aired: January 3, 2018 - present.*
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Zoey heads off to college and begins her hilarious journey to adulthood.
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03x12 - Water on Water on Water

Post by bunniefuu »

Zoey: We are living in a time
of infinite options.

A time when we want
to try everything,

but commit to nothing.

- Kanye west's "Jesus walks" plays...
- We have trouble

- committing to relationships...
- [ ding! ]

♪ We at w*r ♪

[ ding! ]

♪ We at w*r with terrorism ♪

...To lifestyles.

♪ Racism, and most of all... ♪

We even have trouble committig
to one profession.

♪ Jesus walk ♪

♪ God, show me the way ♪

♪ Because the devil's
tryna break me down ♪

♪ Jesus walk with me,
with me, with me ♪

♪ yeah ♪

♪ God, show me the way,
because the devil's... ♪

Pastor henry: We are here today
to accept ana torres

as part of our congregation.

She is here
to accept Jesus christ

as her lord and savior.

Are you ready to accept Jesus
into your heart?

Yes.

But for ana torres...

...when it came to commitment,

she was ready to go
all the way in. [ laughs ]

♪ ...that my feet
don't fail me now ♪

♪ Watch out, world,
I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪ Learn something new
every day ♪

♪ I don't know,
so I'm-a feel my way ♪

♪ Got the weight of the world
on me ♪

♪ But no regrets,
this is what I say ♪

♪ Watch out, world,
I'm grown now ♪

- ♪ I'm grown ♪
- ♪ You can tell me ♪

♪ My heart b*ating so loud ♪

♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

Over the next few weeks,

Ana got deeper into her new
faith with Javi by her side.

And as close
as they were feeling to God,

their connection to each other
was stronger than ever.

Alright. sh*ts.

To our first double date.

You and Rodney,
Heidi and me. Alright?

I want to get nice and buzzed,
but not too sloppy.

Just that perfect,
warm-faced smiley

for the party tonight.

Um... hello?

Hmm?

- Where's ours?
- Oh, you guys want in?

I thought you guys
weren't allowed to drink.

Of course we could drink.
We're Christians, not dead.

Exactly. Jesus turned water
into wine, heathen.

It was His first miracle.

And He used to roll
with gangsters and prostitutes.

Dude was out there
living His best life,

uh... until... well, you know.

But then He came back,

and we got salvation
and Cadbury Eggs.

VIVEK:
Okay, fine. Yeah.

Jazz, are you sure you don't
want to go out with us tonight?

I literally cannot even imagine

me and Rodney stomaching a night
with Vivek and Heidi alone.

- Hey.
- Nah.

I seriously don't feel like
being the third wheel.

Well, technically,
you'd be the fifth wheel.

Uh, two couples and you.
Alone.

Vivek, you never shut up,
do you?

Seriously, you will not even be
the third or fifth wheel.

I mean, I'm sure
there's plenty of guys

out there checking for you.

- Yeah, but Doug.
- No "but Doug."

I'm sorry.
You two are on a break.

That's why you should come out
and enjoy yourself.

I'm sure Doug's out there
enjoying himself.

I'm good. Really.

I'm just gonna do my own thing
tonight, okay?

Have fun.

Alright, fine.
But what about you guys?

I'm really in need
of a buffer tonight.

No, we're...
We're gonna hang back.

- [sighs]
- Alright. Enjoy.

- That did not sound fun.
- At all.

♪ I just be dripping, ya, ya ♪

Hey, Nomi, remember Indigo?
Joey's protégé?

NOMI: The one who convinced you
to go after Aaron

by being a "Boss Bitch"?

- Yeah. I remember.
- Yeah.

Well, now she's my boss,

and theoretically,
I am her bitch.

I had to pull, like, 23 looks

from four different
fashion houses

for the two shows
she has this weekend.

But at least you've officially
doubled your client list.

Yeah. No, I did, and actually,
I-I think I hear her coming.

- I love you. Bye.
- Yes, bitch.

I got you tickets to my show,
and they're front row.

[chuckles]
Hi!

No, look.

Mm! I like this one.

Yeah, no,
I really like that, too.

Ooh, but this one.

This is fire.

Yeah! Ablaze!

But this one.

Kinda feeling this one.

I mean, really, though,
how could you not?

It's just so like... feely.

[sighs]

Okay, let's talk.

Uh-oh. This feely bad.

Okay, so, I know we kind of
got off to a rocky start...

- Mm-hmm.
- ...which is probably

why you're saying yes to everything.

But as my stylist,
I don't need you to do that.

Yeah. I mean, no, of course.

- No, but see, not "of course."
- No.

Do you not understand

how important
these next two shows are?

This is my first time
ever headlining in LA.

This is a chance for me

to grow out my fanbase
on the West Coast.

Yes, and trust me,
I actually totally understand.

Good.
Then moving forward,

I need you to
be brutally honest with me...

- Mm-hmm
- and not just some bobblehead "yes chick."

Aight.

♪♪

- Did you just bow to me?
- No.

♪ Yo, hey ♪

Hell. Yeah.

- Enjoy.
- Ooh-wee!

- Yeah.
- That right there how we do.

That is your, uh, seventh
birthday here this semester.

I'm surprised that lady doesn't

- think you're 40 years old.
- No, no, no.

Today, it is your birthday.

Oh, oh, no, no.

I am more of a Bavarian
Cream Cake kind of guy.

- That's a little...
- Bro, suit yourself.

I just wanted
to commemorate this moment

'cause we ain't been able
to get up in a minute.

- I know.
- But here we are...

You, me, and this free piece
of red velvet.

This is a beautiful situation.

Yep.

- Just to chill.
- Yeah.

[clears throat]

Wow!

What?

I get you a sparkly piece
of red velvet cake,

you surprise-third-wheel me?

- What?
- Mm-hmm.

What are you talking about?
It's not like that, dude.

We're just... We're...

She's here 'cause we're all
rolling together.

We're...

We're a tricycle tonight.

I'm no man's tricycle, okay?

- [clicks tongue]
- Come...

- Come on don't be like that. Man
- It's fine.

You two enjoy your little date,

and I'm-a go find me a nice
little thick wheel myself.

Alright.

- [m*ssile whistling]
- MAN: Watch your right flank!

- [expl*si*n]
- Moving in, moving in!

We got a breach!

- Incoming! Coming in!
[yawns]

Oh, wow.

Those sh*ts
really knocked me out.

- Wow.
- What time is it?

I should go.

Javi, you obviously
shouldn't be driving.

Just crash here.

You can make me breakfast
in the morning.

- [shuts laptop]
- Are you sure?

Yes. I'm positive.
I like pancakes.

Okay.

♪♪
[both sigh]

- Okay.
- Alright.

- Good night.
- Good night.

♪ I'm like whatever ♪
[sighs]

♪ We could be ♪

- Okay.
- ♪ We could be something ♪

♪ But I don't know
just where we're going ♪

♪ Take me in circles ♪

♪ But I like it ♪

♪ I like it, yeah ♪

♪ Take me, take me,
take me to some place ♪

- ♪ That I never been ♪
- ♪ Oh, no ♪

- ♪ That I never been ♪
- ♪ No, no ♪

♪ But I'm feeling it ♪

♪ The way you do this ♪

♪ The way you do that ♪

♪ Boy, you giving me something,
something more ♪

You awake?

Nah.

I can't believe we did that.

I know.

I'm navigating some serious
feelings of guilt right now.

- Javi, I am so, so, so sorry.
- Come on. Don't apologize.

Honestly, if anyone should be
apologizing, it should be me.

But, um, guilt aside, uh...

I kind of got
the feeling that

maybe you didn't
enjoy that so much.

What?

No. No, no, it was...

It was really great.

Ana, it's okay. I'm aware
of when it's not great.

I mean, okay, look,

sex between two people
for the first time

is never great, right?

Yeah. There were
so many factors against us,

like the guilt, which is

obviously the biggest one.

And then there's the pressure,
the tequila.

What is this? It's memory foam?

- There's no bounce to this.
- Yeah, no, it's...

It's all of that stuff.

Javi, it's obviously
not our chemistry.

- Kissing you is perfect.
- I feel the same way.

Okay, so

just out of curiosity,
since we've already, like

- done it...
- Mm-hmm.

Would it... would it be crazy
if we just, like...

did it one more time?

♪♪

No, just to prove that that
horrible one... no offense...

Was just a fluke?

It feels like we should.

God's probably already mad
about the first one.

- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- And maybe it is like double jeopardy.

And you can't get tried
for the same crime twice.

Mmh-mmh.

Oh-hoo.
Hey.

So, did I not put out the pants
that go with that?

Because that's actually,
fun fact, a shirt, not a dress.

Hmm. No. I know.

Well, maybe you want some other
pants to go with it?

[scoffs]
No, I'm good.

What?

I just...
You know, I really feel like

you should put on the pants
that I pulled for you.

I don't want to.

Well, when you see how high
the shirt is, you may want to.

I disagree.

Okay.

Look, um, in all honesty,

this look...
It feels a little desperate.

And I think that that would be
bad for your brand.

Alright.

- Mmh.
- Cool.

- Hmm! Hmm.
- That makes sense.

I'll go put those pants on.

Okay.
[laughs]

But one thing...

If you ever
talk to me like that again,

I'll fire your bitch-ass.

♪♪

♪ I'm-a go cop me a Rari ♪

♪ Then I'm-a drive it to Saks ♪

♪ Spend about 8 or 9 racks ♪

- Hey, excuse me.
- Hey, girl.

Let me help you out
and buy you a drink.

[chuckles]
Sorry, um, I actually don't drink.

Do you have any cocaine?

But you out here
being a great human,

bathing elephants in
sanctuaries and sh*t. [chuckles]

You have to go.
It'll change your life.

Wow.
[chuckles]

That's sick.

You want to max out
this dude's credit card?

Uh, I'm good.

Yo, I'm Doug.

We [bleep] freshman year.

You right.

[sighs]

Bro, you've been gone
a minute, man.

Where's your wheel?

The wheels are off.
I'm officially the new Vivek.

ZOEY: So, while Doug was
adjusting to being the new Vivek

and Sky and the old Vivek
were at the party of the year,

Jazz was adjusting
to single life with a piece of pie.

Key lime.

- What?
- The key lime pie.

It's the only way to go.
I promise.

Mm, I was thinking
the chocolate mousse.

Oh. How about I get
a piece of key lime,

you get a piece
of chocolate mousse,

and we split it?

Nah, I'm okay.
Thank you, though.

Alright. Have a good night.

You know what?

On second thought, sure.
Why not?

So, while Jazz was slowly
getting her rhythm back,

Ana and Javi were trying to
find theirs in the bedroom

again...

- Mm. Okay, hold up. I gotta stop.
- What? What?

Uh. [exhales sharply]
Head rush.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

Okay. Where were we?

- Okay. Okay.
- ...and again...

Oh! Ow! Oh! Ow, ow, ow!


- Cramp! Foot cramp!
- Okay.

Foot cramp! Ow.
Yeah, no, right there.

And, believe it or not,
again...

- Oh! Ah.
- I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry
I head-butted you.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah.

- Are you bleeding?
- I don't know.

♪♪

...to less-than-stellar results.

Maybe it is the memory foam.

Or maybe it's the fact

that we weren't supposed
to be doing this at all.

Kind of feels like our guilt's

outweighing our chemistry
right now, you know?

[sighs]
Yeah.

I do.

[sighs]

[sighs]

Sky, I'm obviously
trying to get your attention.

Yeah, and I'm obviously trying
to ignore you.

I just... I need to talk
to a fellow believer in the house.

- Lemme grab Jazz.
- Sky, please.

- I did something last night
- [sighs]

Something that I'm having
so many feelings about.

I slept with Javi.

Yeah. And, um

now I'm feeling really guilty
about the whole thing.

Oof.
Guilty sex.

That was me and Rodney right
after I found out he was white.

Also, it wasn't exactly
the best sex in the world.

Damn.

The guilt you can pray on.
Bad sex?

I'm not sure you can pray
bad smashing away.

No, no. It's... It's not even
about the bad smashing.

Really,
it's mostly my own guilt.

Guilt is a wasted emotion.

Just like crying at 4:00 a.m.

- Or just crying.
- I literally just got baptized.

I made this huge commitment
to Jesus

in front of all of these people,

and now I feel like

I've already
turned my back on God,

like I cheated on Him.

Trust, you are not the first
sinner to cheat on God.

God has been cheated on
a lot, okay?

He's used to being
the side piece.

You just got to figure out
how to make Him your main again.

♪♪

♪ Reach out to me ♪

After her heart-to-heart
with Sky,

Ana was even more confused.

Was the bad smashing
a sign from God,

telling her that she shouldn't
be smashing at all?

So, she decided to talk directly

with the one
she should have gone to first.

♪ Reach out to me ♪

[cellphone chimes]
♪ Paint an "X" ♪

♪ Over where it hurts the most ♪

♪ I'll do my very best ♪

♪ To see you back to whole ♪

[sighs]

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Reach out to me ♪

Oh. That looks
really, really good.

Thank you.

Mm.

That beanie looks ridiculous.

It looks like she's going to
some, like, rave in a log cabin.

But that would be
too brutally honest

for Indigo's fragile ego,

so for the sake
of protecting my job,

I'm-a keep my comments
to myself.

[chuckles]

That beanie
looks absolutely ridiculous.

What'd you say?

I I couldn't help myself.

Well, um, I am sorry,
and I know I'm about to be fired, but

come on, Indigo.

You know, we're obviously
just not a fit,

because at first,
you say that you want brutal honesty,

and then you say that
you don't want brutal honesty.

And honestly,
I'm a little confused, but,

the one thing that I'm
actually not confused on

is the fact that that beanie
does not at all

go with this outfit
that we agreed upon.

And so you can wear it.
Sure. I-It's fine and all.

But, I know that I wouldn't be
doing my job as a stylist

if I didn't at least voice my

honest and professional opinion.

So...

There it is.

- There what is?
- That.

That "Eye of the Tiger"
I was looking for.

It was a test.
I do it to all my stylists.

- Mm-hmm.
- Some of them shrink.

Some of them
rise to the occasion.

And you rose.

I did? I rose?

I rose.

You'd be surprised
how many people

let me go onstage
looking so crazy.

Mm. And I'm surprised
I didn't break you

with that "bitch-ass" comment.
[chuckles]

And I'm glad I didn't because
your bitch-ass is talented.

Thank you.

- Hmm. You're welcome.
- Hmm.

So, as a result of doubling down

on my professional commitment
I had earned Indigo's very odd

and slightly disrespectful
respect.

But for Ana, her struggle
with her spiritual commitment

was proving
to be much more challenging.

- Thanks for coming over.
- Yeah.

I'm sorry.

- I bounced so fast yesterday.
- No, no. I-It's fine.

It was, whatever, weird.

- Um...
- Yeah.

[sighs]

I was thinking about
the other week, when, uh...

Pastor Babyboy gave that sermon

about how God wants us to focus
more on our lasting holiness

instead of
our fleeting happiness, and

right now,
where I'm at in my life

I think I need to focus more
on my lasting holiness.

[sighs]

Yeah. Right.

I understand.

You know, I've been doing
this celibacy thing

for a little while, and it was
going pretty well until I met you.

I didn't expect to feel
how I feel about you

as fast as I've been feeling it.

I wish it was different,
but I...

I get it. I do.

I just hope you know
that I'm... I'm doing this

because...

I love you.

I love you, too.

I'm just low-key mad
you said it first.

Guess I'll see you around?

Yeah.

[chuckles]

- Wow.
- Phew!

Maybe we should have started
on the couch.

Definitely.

Definitely
should've started here.

[both sigh]

What do we do now?

♪ Make your way... ♪

So, Ana and Javi decided
to renew their vow of celibacy,

recommitting to God
and their relationship

by asking their fellow believers
to lay hands on them for strength

so they wouldn't lay hands
on each other.

♪ ...to the river ♪

[clears throat]
I need to use the bathroom.

No. Sit!

- I am scared, man.
- Listen to me.

You're ready,
and she's coming.

We're gonna do this,
just like we rehearsed.

I got it. No tripping.

[clears throat]
Come on, bro.

Can I get you anything
for dessert?

Happy birthday.

It's... happy bir... It's, um...
To me, to me.

- Today is my birthday.
- Oh.

- So...
- Happy birthday.

- Thank you.
- How old are you?

Well... what?

[smacks lips]

You got me. You got me, okay?

I-I-I-I wasn't built for this.

I'm not a liar.
He told me to do it.

Okay,
so, it's not your birthday?

Bitch-ass.
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