01x05 - C.R.E.A.M. (Cash Rules Everything Around Me)

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Grown-ish". Aired: January 3, 2018 - present.*
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Zoey heads off to college and begins her hilarious journey to adulthood.
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01x05 - C.R.E.A.M. (Cash Rules Everything Around Me)

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ZOEY: There's nothing like watching

the meteoric rise of
a superstar college athlete.


ANNOUNCER: Kansas is up by
with seconds remaining.


Cal U has the ball.

Pass to Mooney just over half court.

Pulls up and hoists a .

- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- It's good! Cal U wins!

[RAPPING] ♪ Cash rules
everything around me ♪


♪ C.R.E.A.M., get the money ♪

♪ Dolla, dolla bill, y'all ♪

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoa! Yes!

Cash Mooney! Cash Mooney!

- JULIE: Dean Parker eats wieners!
- Who said that?

Julie, was that you?

[CROWD CHANTING "MOONEY"]

ZOEY: There's also nothing like watching

the meteoric rise of a true romance.

That is your bae!

♪♪

Cash and I had been together

for that perfect amount of time

for everyone on campus
to get wonderfully jealous.


Things were going amazingly.

That is until he put
my virginity on blast.


I'm gonna be famous for this.

And also for his m*rder.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪ Learn something new every day ♪

♪ I don't know, so I'ma feel my way ♪

♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪

♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪

♪ Watch out world, I'm grown now ♪

- ♪ I'm grown ♪
- ♪ You can tell me ♪

♪ My heart b*ating so loud ♪

♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

Cash, what the hell?

How could you put my business
out there like that?

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.

I screwed up,

but I immediately deleted it.

It had , views.

Look, it was stupid, and I overreacted,

but they were coming at you.

So what?

I told you something between you and I,

and now I'm a hashtag.

♪♪

I feel awful.

You should.

You know what? I can't even
look at you right now.

I got to go. Zoey, hold up.

MAN: Yo, Cash, what's up, my boy?

- What's up, man?
- What's good, yo?

Ha, my boy.

♪♪

Oh, hey.

- Any chance Zoey's around?
- No.

She's where she always is...
on the Mooney train!

Damn it, I worked on that all day.
It's still not great.

Okay, well, I'm just gonna
head back to my dorm

and take a pill I found
in the armrest of a Lyft.

- Nomi.
- Yeah?

Okay, look, I know I'm not
all emotionally available

or able to experience empathy like Zoey,

but I can pretend to give a sh*t
for a few minutes.

Well...

Okay.

You know that guy David I was dating?

Uh-huh.

I finally broke it off with him.

Why?

Well, everything was going fine,

but once I found out
he was bisexual like me,

Bro!

I don't know. Something just changed.

I started to see him differently.

♪♪

No matter how hard I tried
to get it out of my head...

I just couldn't.

♪♪

[CLEARS THROAT]

Yeah.

It was all me.

He totally didn't do anything wrong.

Ana, are you listening to me?

No.

Not even a little bit.

[SIGHS] Really, dude?

♪♪

[SNIFFS]

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

Words.

They mean stuff.

But in digital marketing,

they can be the difference of

whether or not your message
connects to your audience.

Like connecting with a bitchy client,

a deaf upstairs neighbor,

or even a beloved stepbrother

who's doing a dime up in Pelican Bay

for trying to abduct Robert Downey Jr.

I was still pretty upset,

and not just about what passed
for education at this school.


I wasn't sure
what I should do about Cash.


Cut that [Bleep] loose.

SKY: Boy, bye.

What he did to you was inexcusable.

Do you really want to be with some dude

who goes off on Instagram like that

when he gets all in his little feelings.

That's some Blac Chyna
and Rob Kardashian sh*t.

- Mm.
- Right?

I tell him about my virginity,
and he blasts it?

I'm like, "Dude, are you slow?"

Well, I mean, he is an athlete, so...

No offense, guys.

Nothing but offense taken.

I don't know why you guys

are going in on my boy so hard.

Cash is your boy?

You know he's not.

But I need him to come
to my birthday party.

Oh, so you're just trying
to smash some Cash groupies

at my expense?

Zoey, I'm telling you this as a friend.

You should absolutely bounce this dude.

After my party.

Dude can't even handle
some random Instagram trolls,

and if he gets to the NBA,

it's only gonna get worse.

Cut that [Bleep] loose!

Damn.

♪♪

_

My friends are right.

Cash violated my trust

and played me in front of the world.

I need to cash out.

♪♪

[CELLPHONE CHIMES]

♪♪

LUCA: Dude, who are you texting?

It's Jazz.

Everyone's blowing me up

about this stupid virgin thing Cash did.

I mean, Vivek's got an over/under

on who's gonna be my first.

Ana's trying to get me

to start a promise keeper circle
with her.

And Sky and Jazz,

they're gonna sign me up
for Sugar Babies.

And why do you care
what everyone else thinks?

Oh, I don't know,
because it's embarrassing.

That's... Most chicks dating athletes

have to worry about STDs,

side chicks, paternity tests,

and you're worrying about him
calling you a virgin?

Irrelevant.

It still doesn't make what he did okay.

And there we go...

perfect Zoey running around

worrying about what makes
everything "okay."

Fall back. Get over yourself, bro.

I don't know why I deal with you.

Well, I don't know why I deal with you.

You're stressing out over some BS

on this little campus.

Meanwhile, your man is having
a full family crisis,

and the whole world's talking about it.

What in the world are you talking about?

You don't know about his pops?

Wow, that's crazy.

I don't even follow sports,
and I know about that.

- Just tell me.
- Okay.

His dad is all over the news

because he was auctioning off

all of his old high school swag.

♪♪

[SIGHS]

I had every right to be pissed at Cash.

ZOEY: Cash!

But there's nothing worse
than being mad at a person


who's in a bad place.

What was I supposed to do?

Dude, I just heard. Are you okay?

Never been better.

Cash, I'm sorry
that we've been arguing...

Look, Zoey, I just can't
deal with this right now.

I've got to go handle this.

Okay, look, I'm going with you.

You don't even know where I'm going.

Look, Cash, I'm not doing this

because I'm not still mad at you,
which I am.

I'm doing this

because it's the right thing to do.

[SIGHS]

♪♪

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

♪♪

I hate awkward silence,

but I'm great at it.

Maybe the best that ever did it.

DRE: So you want to be grown

and miss your curfew, huh, little girl?

Well, this is it!

No computer, no cellphone, no nothing!

Oh, you're not gonna blink?

You not gonna blink when I yell at you?!

Okay.

_

Hey, Zo-Zo.

You want something from the kitchen?

Snacks? La Croix?

We got some edamame.

Okay.

Love you.

Your hair smells good.

♪♪

I, uh...

Just, uh... Just take it all.

You know, Daddy's baby girl

could always use some pocket change.

[CHUCKLES]

Okay.

It's not a game I like,

but when I play it, I play to win.

So, you're just not gonna talk?

Cool.

This feelin' that I'm feelin'
is the realest sensation

This love we make

I don't wanna wait too long

Wake me up, ready for love

Can't hide how you're cravin' me

- Oh.
- ♪ Not quite love

- He's good.
- ♪ We'll get there soon enough

Some secrets I wanna keep

But I know we're right
in the sweet spot

I didn't do it by accident.

But I know I don't
wanna show my cards

What?

Baby, it's just me but I don't think ♪

The virgin thing.

I didn't do it by accident.

I'm the only one
with a skip in my heart

Don't get me wrong,

you're my girl and dude got me hot.

I knew what I was typing.

You being a virgin is good for my brand.

♪ Ooh, and I love right where we are ♪

[SCOFFS]

Hold on. Did you just say your brand?

I... You know what, stop the car.

What?

Stop the g*dd*mn car and let me out,

or I'm calling the police!

See how good that is for your brand.

Zoey, can you just wai...

[SIGHS]

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

CASH: Zoey.

- Zoey, look.
- I'm calling a Lyft.

Zoey, look.

I know this is something
you don't want to hear,

but you fit inside what I want to be.

Yes, you're amazing,

and you believed in me
before all this started.

But you're also good on paper.

Oh, wow, so you want me
to get you b*at up.

I'm serious.

You're pretty, you're smart.

- [SIGHS]
- You come from a good family.

But then you add the virgin thing.

Oh, my God.

Look, I come from nowhere.

The bottom.

You want to know where we're going?

We're going to buy my state
champion ring back from my father

before he sell it for dope

or whatever the hell
he's doing these days.

♪♪

You got to understand.

I never thought I'd have a sh*t
with someone like you.

♪♪

♪ I've been tryin' hard to be someone ♪

♪ Even though
there's no need to pretend ♪

It's even harder
when you need the one

To open up and make amends

I like that you said it.

You've been tryin'
not to need someone

What?

But you'll always be alone
in the end

About my virginity.

It wasn't your business
to put out there,

but... I like that you stood up for me.

- So, I did a good thing?
- No.

I'll find a way
to make you understand

But if I'm being honest,

it made me feel special.

Being with you makes me feel special.

But you are special.

Yeah, I know,
and I've always been popular,

but come on, Cash,
you're a whole other level.

I mean, you may end up
being the number-one pick,

and... and the fact that
you chose me to be your girl

when you probably could've
chosen anybody else

even though it would've been
a mistake, you know?

- [SCOFFS]
- ♪ Just say it again


Hold on, I-I have a question.

Would you want to be with me
if I wasn't a virgin?

♪♪

Honestly?

Yes, honestly, Cash.

Would you want to be with me

if I didn't fit into your brand?

I-I-I don't know.

- Wow.
- What?

You said be honest.

♪♪

Would you want to be with me

if I wasn't gonna be
the number-one pick?

♪♪

I like you,

but would I want to put up

with all the rumors I have to hear

about you with other girls?

Would I want to put up

with you needing a tutor
in every single class

and only seeing you an hour a day?

I don't know.

You being the man

is, I guess, part of
what I like about you.

Yeah.

I bet it is.

♪♪

♪ Booty, booty, booty,
booty, booty poppin' ♪


Why didn't I just do Macaroni Grill?

AARON: Yo, what is happening here?

I've never seen this place so empty.

And I know it's Vivek's birthday,

but it's still open
to the public, right?

[CHUCKLES]

What's wrong with you? Hmm?

Big Dave and I broke up.

Oh!

'Cause he's gay?

No, he's bi.

Look, in my opinion,

if a guy's willing to go
that far with another guy,

that means something in him

really wants to go that far with a guy.

What?

No, no, no. Okay, look.

Sexuality is a spectrum.

Right. That's what I'm telling you.

In which, the penis is
at one end of the spectrum.

Whatever.

How is it that a black dude
who wears crocs

can be this closed-minded?

Okay, whatever.

You're the... the bi girl

who decided to break up
with Big bi Dave.

Is that your dad?

CASH: Yeah.

Where... Where'd you get the money from?

I'll be right back.

Oh, my God.

♪♪

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

♪♪

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

♪♪

♪ Have you ever felt it ♪

♪ When you broke a loved one? ♪

♪ She only cried a whisper ♪

♪♪

[ENGINE STARTS]

♪♪

Hey.

You got a second?

Okay.

So, things were going good
between us, and then...

Why do I feel like you're re-dumping me?

No, I feel like you deserve
to know the truth.

♪♪

It kind of freaked me out
that you've been with guys.

Hold on, what?

Didn't I meet you

while you were on a date with a girl?

- I know.
- Yeah.

Okay, I know that
I'm supposed to be, like,

a part of the movement...

- Yeah...
- but I can't help feeling like

it's different for guys and girls.

Like, okay, if you see two girls in bed,

- it's not a big deal.
- Mm.

But if you see two guys in bed,

it's weird, you know?

It's like, "Where's the other bed?"

- Yeah.
- Two guys kissing is not hot.

I disagree. I think it's very hot.

Yes, but it's comments like that
that got us here, Dave.

Look, I know that I'm a hypocrite,

but I can't help how I feel.

I just feel like
if you're into guys, too,

then how can I ever be enough for you?

[SIGHS]

That's not about me being bisexual.

That's about you being insecure.

♪♪

Oh, now you show up.

You missed the whole party.

I'm so sorry.

I had the craziest day today.

ANA: Let me guess... it involved Cash.

Yeah.

It did, actually.

SKY: We weren't guessing.

We knew it involved Cash.

Everything with you involves Cash.

Guys, I said I was sorry.

It's not like I meant to miss this.

To be clear, just a minute ago,

this place was jumping.

Okay, so, what's your guys' problem?

Our problem is that your boy is a clown.

I think he's more like a bum.

Your dude's probably not
gonna make it to the league.

And if he does, you know
he's just gonna drop you.

That is without a doubt.
That's, like, a fact.

No offense.

He probably dropped you already,

- and you don't even know it.
- Yeah.

- I know he got hos.
- Whoa!

Zoey, we're just tired of you
being all up under this dude

like you're some weak-ass
little pata sucia.

Okay, excuse me?

So, right about here,

well, this is where I blacked out.

ZOEY: I'm not quite sure what I said,

but I think I told Jazz and Sky

there were only three people
making a living off track


on the entire planet,

and they're all Usain Bolt.

This bitch.

And I might have called out Ana

about her fake accent

and asked her if she was in
the witness protection program.


Her response made me think she might be.

And where do you think you're going?

Look, I said no offense, okay?

Aren't you older than us?

Like, w-where are your friends?

Because you always come around us

and act like you know everything,

but if you know everything,

get out of my freshman math class.

Apparently, I really took
my time on Aaron.


I won't get into the specifics,

but I did later
have to buy him a spa day.


[SIGHS]

JAZZ: Sorry.

ANA: Sorry, Zoey, it's just
we're your friends.

We're just trying to look out for you.

Yeah. I got it.

But you guys don't know Cash,

and until tonight, neither did I.

Oh, um, and Vivek.

Oh, please, I can't handle it.

I've had a devastating night.

I was just gonna say happy birthday.

I have a shirt for you in my room.

It's a size you should be wearing.

- What's wrong with my shirt?
- Mm.

Hey, you.

Where are you going?

Yo. Uh, I was going to look for you.

I want to talk to you.

Look, uh, I feel like

a lot of things were said tonight,

and I don't want you
to walk away thinking

that all I'm into
is just you being a virgin.

Oh, God, I'm so glad you said something,

because I don't want you to think

that the only reason I'm into you

is because you're a basketball player.

♪♪

Zoey...

if you ask me to give you

all the reasons why I like you,

I don't know that I'd have enough
time in my life to tell you.

But what I can tell you is,

when I'm with you,

I feel more like me
than when I'm anywhere else.

I feel the exact same way.

I mean, there's something about you

that just feels so right.

Even the things I hate about you,

I still kind of like.

Well, then, it's me and you
versus everybody else.

Deal.

Deal.

And as much as I hated you
being honest with me...

♪ That look you give just sets me off ♪

I need you to keep doing it.

I will, and I need you, too.

♪ I still kiss you and say ♪

♪ We're fine ♪

♪ We're fine ♪

♪ Tell me everything's okay ♪
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