11x08 - May Cause Numb Butthole

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Robot Chicken". Aired: February 20, 2005 –present.*
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American adult animated comedy with a series of pop-culture parodies about everything.
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11x08 - May Cause Numb Butthole

Post by bunniefuu »

[Theme music plays]

[Cackles]

♪♪

♪♪

MAN: It's alive!

♪♪

[Cackles]

♪♪

[Cackles]

Stay in the middle.

- Don't get too close to the water.
- Why not?

[Roar!]

[Scream!]

- My arm!
- That's why.

Ha! Ha!

- Huaahh-ha!
- Hi-ya!

Airbending!

[Grunting]

- Ha! Ha!
- Hi-ya!

Watch me bend the air.

Ha!

[Grunting]

Ha!

- My cabbages!
- Whoops, sorry, cabbage man.

This happens every damn day!

Whew! See you later!
Bending air!

Ow, my head!
You mean...

[Scuffling]
Bending air!

Oof!

- What the heck?
- Cabbage force field!

Too long I have allowed
you and your foes

to tarnish
the humble cabbage empire.

No more!
Cabbage bending!

I guess I deserve this.
Thank you, cabbage man!

I'm finally able to capture Aang

and hand him over to my father
in exchange for his love.

Don't think you're off the hook!

I hope you like
your vegetables sautéed!

Cabbage throw!
Cabbage throw!

Oof!

Finally, time for the Cabatar to rise!

Long have I waited for my
grandchild to come home.

Your grandchild?

Technically, the
daughter of my own clone.

A perfect replica of me, except
nothing like me in any way.

Think he worked
at a shoe store.

Anyway, you got lost in
the desert for years

and somehow got trained
by Luke Skywalker.

- All part of my plan.
- Sounds like you were winging it.

I think you'll find
I leave nothing to chance.

Ahh!

Are you okay?

Not to worry.
Also part of the plan.

What was I saying?
Ah, yes.

That's when I buried ,
Star Destroyers under the ice.

Who built them?
Better yet, who will fly them?

Ice zombies?

That's when we started
mass-producing ice zombies

who staffed the ice zombie machines.

That's for another trilogy.

I was also Snoke.
Ahh!

Is there someone we can talk
to about turning that thing off?

There was a system upgrade.
They told me it would be fine!

Now, back to the plan.

You despise me, and with
your hatred...

Despise you?
We have no relationship whatsoever.

For the plan to work,
you really need to hate me.

Yeah, I can't hear him anymore.

[Spluttering]

- What now...? [grunts]
- Oh, sh*t. Sorry!

- Just hit reset!
- It's way more complicated...

- Just restart the board.
- Okay, okay, fine!

All I had to do was restart it!
Ahh, nice one, Rey.

You really are the chosen one.

Can I start again, please?

- Yes.
- [Sigh!] I... ahh!

Ahh! Ahh!

[Thud! Thunk!]

Ahh!

Good job k*lling
your grandpa, Rey.

The queen will lay her eggs
in a dark cave,

the egg will wait for an unsuspecting
lifeform to happen upon it.

Then it'll hatch
and a face hugger will mount

the other lifeform's face
and impregnate it.

That's what's up.
[Laughter]

I don't know what's so funny.

You all came from face huggers.

Teach, I didn't hug
some dude's face to get here.

I've always been Chad!

- Yeah, go Chad!
- Fist bump!

After impregnation, the fetus
will develop in the host's body.

This is a baby being born.
[Students scream]

This is our life cycle,
and you need to know it.

Why do you care
if we do well in school?

- I'm Chad!
- Because I used to be just like you.

No way. That would mean
you were once cool.

[Laughs]

Oh, let me guess, g*ng,
you think it's cool

to jump on spaceships
and k*ll everyone on board?

[Students agreeing]
Keep heading down that path.

You might wind up
getting trapped in an airlock

and pushed into outer space.

Does that sound cool?
Now pay attention!

Have you heard about the secret
menu here at In-N-Out?

[Gasps]
They have a secret menu?

Yeah, I'll show you.

Hey, fidelio.

♪♪

[Moaning, giggling]

♪♪

You know, I'm good
with the regular menu.

Just a little off the top.

Thanks.

Okay, What's Her Face dolls,
it's your day

and we can be anything we want.

So let's put on our faces!

♪♪

[Gasps]
I feel so glam!

- I look super hip!
- I'm so cool!

Hey, where's Sweet?

She put on a sexy face
and went out.

[Gasps]
Last night.

Sorry I'm late.
Guess I overslept.

Where, in a frat house?

Look, if I want to
dress up and willingly

have sex with a bunch
of brain-dead bros,

that's my choice, and...
Oh, no, my face!

Oh, permanent ink?!

[Bleep]
[Bleep] re-farted dipshits!

Yo, did you just say "re-farted"?

And I thought I was the hip one.

[Laughter]
You were laughing.

Oh, yeah!
I want to [bleep] my mother!

♪ We're lost in the forest,
skipping, skipping ♪

Yes, that's it, my pretties.

Come have a taste
of my candy confections

so I can have a taste of you.

[Laughs evilly]

[Gasps]
Look at all the candy!

Aw, too bad we are doing
Whole s this month.

Oh, you're right.

♪ Skipping away into the day ♪

I should really move out of
California.

I have all the keys, Sora.
All but yours.

Hand it over so I can get this
Kingdom Hearts party started.

I faced too much loss and too many

convoluted gameplay rules, Xehanort.

You want my Keyblade,
take it from my cold dead hands.

Uh, that's not how key parties work.

- Gorsh, he's right, Sora.
- What is this key party?

Perhaps I can explain.

Hey, it's Sigourney Weaver
from "The Ice Storm."

- Hubba-hubba!
- Gorsh!

You might be wondering why I'm here.

"The Ice Storm" was produced
by Fox Searchlight Pictures.

Which was acquired by Disney,
so now it's canon! [Laughs]

What?
I read the trades.

Which makes her
an official Disney princess.

Exactly.
So at a key party,

everyone puts their keys
into a bowl.

You draw a key at random
and then go to Pound Town

with whoever that
particular key belongs to.

SORA: Uh...

We're gonna have an orgy!
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!

Uh, guys,
this feels inappropriate.

Sora, you've been
in this game for years.

That makes you, like, .

I'm the sexless face
of a corporate monolith,

and I still get laid more than you.

- [Laughs]
- [Groans]

SIGOURNEY: Ooh, that feels good.

[Giggles]

I got Sora!
[Laughs]

Let's see if you can seal
my keyhole, big boy.

Ooh, suck these udders, Sora.


This game might be
the living embodiment of hell.

Ooh! Come on, Don
man, wag that tail.

Boy, oh, boy.

Less talking, more beaking,
you imbecile!

[Quacking, warbling]

[Moaning]

I need the big-screen TV.

HBO is airing the Snyder Snyder cut...

the re-edit of Zack Snyder's
"Justice League"

sponsored by Snyder's Pretzels!

It's Thursday, sweetie.
That's my Bravo night.

I need my "Housewives" time
so I don't go insane

and try to Munchausen by proxy
you more than I already am.

Uh, what was that last part?

Nothing!
Okay, take your pills.

You can have your TV back in an hour.

- These are my superheroes.
- [Sighs] Fine.

You've equated it
with a pop culture term

I can identify with,
so I suppose I can wait.

You know, if the people on Bravo
were like superheroes,

that would be so...
[yawning] so cool.

Aah! What?

Leave my husband out of this!

I will bash your skull in with
my "Dancing with the Stars"

- participation trophy!
- Oh, my God.

It's Lisa Rinna
from David Hasselhoff's

long lost "Nick Fury" movie!

[Gasps] I must have gotten
transported into the Bravo-verse.

[Gasps] Captain Carmen Ibanez
from Starship Troopers!

It's Denise. We all got to
pay the bills somehow, kid.

Try having an ex-husband
who spends his alimony

on bacon-wrapped meth
and tiger blood.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
incoming!

Aah!
[expl*si*n]

Thank you, mysterious cloaked figure.

Andy Cohen, host of
"All Things Bravo"?

Come with me if you want
to watch what happens... live!

Here we go!

You have a multiverse transporter?

You need one to travel
from franchise to franchise.

What started out as a small show
about a bunch of rich women

with nothing to do
but drink rose and fight

has turned into an intricate,
action-packed multi-series

universe of characters
far beyond my control!

Wow, "Real Housewives"
is just like Marvel.

We should be safe here
in the New York-verse for now.

- Aah!
- Andy!

The only thing that is fake
about me is this leg, bitch.

What about your fake apologies?!
Raah!

- Leg lock!
- Your other leg is fake, too?

I always keep a spare handy

in case someone tries to
s*ab me in the back.

Let's settle this so I can finish
my Pinot Grigio!

- Let's go!
- But I got to see who wins.

These women will fight
and insufficiently apologize

to each other for all eternity.

Whoa!

MONSTROUS VOICE:
You have no idea what it's like!


What the heck was that?

Oh, no, we ended up in Orange
County, where it all began.

That's Vicki Gunvalson,
the O.G. of "The O.C."

Her ego's gotten too great
and now we're doomed!

And let me guess,
now she's trying to

destroy the very institution
she helped begin.

- Whoa, how did you know?
- Classic hero-to-villain backstory.

It's just like in "Green Lantern"
Volume , Issue

when Hal Jordan
becomes Parallax,

- but with more Juicy Couture.
- That's my opinion.

It's her ex-best friend Tamra Judge,

who used to be the voice of reason,

but has morphed into a Bible-b*ating,
gym-owning monster.

- Tentacle att*ck!
- Watch out.

Aah!

Andy, no!

And I was just getting into
the lore of the Bravo-verse.

What can I do?

Go to... BravoCon!
[Groans]

There's a convention?
Oh, my God, oh, my God!

How have I been
missing out on this fandom...?

Honey!
You can have the TV now.

- Forget that. What's on Bravo?
- "Vanderpump Rules."

It's a show about a group of
servers engaging in endless battle

between each other
and their own egos!

You mean Lisa Vanderpump's
"Justice League"?

Say no more.
I'm in.

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪


♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪


♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪


Ba-gawk!
Bawk.
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