01x03 - Yasper

[bunniefuu]

[Yasper] Okay.
Just so we're on the same page,

whoever wrote that on your neck
also wrote the threatening note.

- But how do we know who it is?
- Okay, so here's the plan.

- Yeah.
- I'm gonna get everybody in this house

to write the word "diarrhea,"
like it's written here,

and then compare the handwriting style,
see if it matches.

I don't get it, but I'm gonna be the first
to do it. So come on, watch this.

This is what I'm gonna do. But why don't
you just have them write the capital E?

Well, because whoever did this used
the backwards E's and misspelled the word.

That's the k*ller.

One "diarrhea" coming up.

Cha-cha-cha! Did I k*ll him?

Well, you misspelled it.
But the wrong way.

It's really hard to spell.
What about those E's?

You knew about the backwards E's.
Not gonna work on you.

Unless I had a different sample
of my writing

to prove that that's how I do my E's.

- Whoo-pow!
- Ah, yeah.

Capital E, perfect way,
with an S to impress.

- Yeah. See? There you--
- [Culp] So Chelsea's a suspect then?

- It's Culp and Danner.
- [Danner] There's still a big old gap

between Brett and Aniq's story,
including Aniq's hazy period

before he passed out when he was drunk

and conveniently doesn't
remember anything.

[Culp] Well right now, he's conveniently
up to something in the bathroom.

Just saying.

Okay. We've got to get out of here.

I've got to get everybody's
writing samples.

If I'm gonna clear my name,
I need hard evidence.

Holy sh*t, dude. Holy sh*t.

I just saved your life. Say thank you now.

- Thank you.
- You want hard evidence?

There is a secret hidden camera
in Xavier's bedroom.

It is in Oates's eye in the Private Eyes
movie poster. Watching you.

Or maybe it was Hall.
I don't know which is which.

You installed cameras?

It wasn't me. It was a different company.
You should never use them.

You should come to me. But I noticed them
when I was installing my A/V equipment.

Do you know what that means?

- There's evidence that exonerates me.
- Yes!

- That shows the real k*ller!
- That shows that you are not the k*ller.

- Yasper, you're amazing.
- I am amazing.

- Have a dance, have a dance.
- Yeah.

Have a dance. [scats]

[Culp]
This really should be more intuitive.

Okay. Go ahead and just rewind it back
by three hours.

You know what? It looks like the laptop is
hooked up into the consoles. Not my system.

This does not look very user-friendly.
I would have nailed this out of the park,

but I think I can help you access
the footage if you want.

- We're good.
- Hey.

Just let the police do their thing.
All right, A/V guy? [clicks tongue]

It doesn't seem like this guy
knows what he's doing.

Suspects do not handle evidence!
'Kay? Thank you.

You're pressing the wrong buttons.

Please. Stand back. Thanks.

- I can't watch this.
- Okay. Literally called him "A/V guy."

Just click on this right here,
and then that one...

You know what I'm gonna do?
I am going to craft a meanly worded tweet.

And here it comes.

@marincountysheriffsdepartment,

add me to the long list of people
who have been oppressed by the police.

- Don't write that.
- Too much. I should think before I type.

- Okay. Well, double-click this.
- No. I've already done that, Danner.

- Well, let me try. Let me try.
- No. Oh, my God.

- Uh, what the...
- No, no, no.

- No.
- What, what, what?

- No, no.
- [Danner] What button did you just push?

- No.
- [Culp] What button did you just push?

See? You should've let me help you out.

There's gotta be a backup or something.
Call the security company.

It's a closed-circuit security system,
so everything is saved to exactly that.

If they erase it, it's gone forever.
They screwed up.

[groans] Damn it!

It's the only thing exonerating me.

We go on.

- Did you say, "We go on?"
- No.

Okay. How about this?
You get those handwriting samples.

I'll take care of this. Watch this.

Uh-oh. Listen, I'm not a
"I told you so" type guy,

so who cares about what just happened?
[mutters] I told you so.

But I'm gonna help you out, okay?

I knew Xavier probably better
than anybody else here,

and I was with Aniq
for almost the entire night,

so I can tell you details
of every second of his whereabouts.

Let me go next.

You know what?
You better not be wasting my time.

- We're gonna just wrap you up.
- I'm telling you, you're gonna love this.

[Yasper] I'm a storyteller...

♪ With music ♪

Not so adorkable anymore, huh? [chuckles]

Did you call me adorkable?

What?

- [engine revs]
- [tires squeal]

[dissonant piano chords play]

[screams]

[chattering]

[bottles clink]

[film projector whirring]

[roars]

[siren wailing]

[police radio chatter]

Ripped and corrected by
- YoungJedi -

- Uh, get your hand off my recorder.
- You got it.

- And have a seat over here.
- Over there is fine.

- Thank you.
- See you in a bit.

All right. [sighs]
This one's gonna break me.

So tell me your story.
From the beginning. The whole night.

- You wanna hear it from the top?
- Yeah, from the tip-top.

Okay.

Mmm. Turn me up. Turn the snare up.

[beatboxing]

What are you doing? Why are you
nodding your head like that?

Feeling the b*at. Give me a second.

[beatboxing]

[music playing]

[engine revs]

[engine revs]

Yasper in the house! Let's go!

Whoa! Okay! Ned!

Hey!

[both] Oh!

Yasper! Looking hot!

- Chelsea! Mwah, mwah!
- Mwah, mwah!

[both laughing] Oh!

- Hey, Yasper. It's me. [laughs]
- Okay.

You guys wanna see me flip?
You wanna see me flip?

[all cheering]

Whoop.

[laughs]

- Hey, Yas!
- [chuckles] Oh!

♪ Bah, bah, don't do it to him
Bah, duh, duh ♪

How great is this party?

- It's okay.
- Oh, no.

How do I look? Have you seen Zoë?
Think this top button is too formal?

You're too nervous. You're thinking
about stuff too much, okay?

Tonight is a second chance for both of us.

You're gonna hook up with Zoë, and
I'm gonna get Xavier to bless my track.

Okay, uh, hold on a second.

Oh, sorry. I forgot.
You're a civilian, right?

Let me explain it to you.
Blessing a track, it works like this.

A huge artist, a real famous artist,
goes on an emerging artist's track, right?

It's like a musical cosign saying,
"This guy's incredible.

Listen to this guy. I'm about to rap next
to this guy 'cause he's so good," right?

Perfect example is Cent
appeared on the Game's first track.

Changed the game for the Game.

Why would a big star like Xavier
wanna help you?

- You're just a A/V guy.
- Xavier and I,

we were in a ska band together
in high school.

You should check it out.
Do you have a helmet?

If you put on the helmet, 'cause
it might blow your freaking mind.

- [chuckles] It's really good.
- Mmm.

But that's what it is for us, right?
We were in a band together,

so we are bonded by the b*at.

Let's just back it up for a second.
So, you-- you show up to the party.

- And you are just jumping and flipping.
- That's me, yeah.

You seem a little tall
to be in gymnastics.

Yeah, that's what my coach said.
But look at me now.

I got, like, ,
participation trophies at home.

And also, I was hype.
I was feeling incredible.

I was feeling good, 'cause I knew
tonight was my second sh*t to be a star.

But I also wanted to help Aniq
with his mission.

I don't know. Maybe I should just forget
about the whole Zoë thing.

I mean, I had my sh*t in high school,
and I didn't take it.

What? No, no, no.
See, that's the fear talking.

Now listen up close,
'cause this may sound shocking.

- You about to rap?
- Yep!

♪ We all get a moment
Where the stars align ♪

♪ The universe gives us a verse
In the song of time ♪

♪ The spotlight swings our way
And it's our time to shine ♪

♪ We're handed a mic on the stage of life
Time to rhyme ♪

♪ But what happens if you choked
And you didn't catch a break? ♪

♪ If you fail, do you bail
With your tail between your legs? ♪

♪ What about those of us who missed
Our sh*t, didn't rise to the top ♪

♪ Never became the cream
And we just remained the crop? ♪

♪ I've heard it said before
That we get one sh*t in life ♪

♪ And even though that may be true
It's not exactly right ♪

♪ 'Cause here's a secret
Even though we get one sh*t in life ♪

♪ We all get that one sh*t twice ♪

♪ We all get one sh*t twice ♪

♪ We all get one sh*t twice ♪

♪ In other words
We get two sh*ts in life ♪

♪ That's right
We all get one sh*t twice ♪

♪ The way you're saying
It's confusing, but I think I understand ♪

♪ Everybody gets one sh*t
Times a second chance? ♪

♪ Exactly, somehow
I didn't make it with my ska band ♪

♪ Apparently pop, punk or brass
Doesn't win you fans ♪

♪ So do I hang up my suspenders
Porkpie and trombone? ♪

♪ Be content installing A/V equipment
In people's homes? ♪

♪ Hell no, because life's
Gonna throw you two bones ♪

♪ That's right
We get to k*ll one bird with two stones ♪

♪ Eric Stoltz couldn't go back in time
And get rehired ♪

♪ As Marty in Back to the Future
After he was fired ♪

♪ But then he got a cool supporting role
In Pulp Fiction ♪

♪ And now he's a sought-after director
Of television ♪

♪ We all get one sh*t twice ♪

♪ We all get one sh*t twice ♪

♪ In other words
We get two sh*ts at life ♪

♪ That's right
We all get one sh*t twice ♪

- ♪ Two sh*ts ♪
- ♪ To launch a second career ♪

- ♪ Two sh*ts ♪
- ♪ Like my Uncle Amir ♪

- ♪ Two sh*ts ♪
- ♪ He was a lawyer ♪

♪ Now he's kick-starting a microbrew ♪

♪ 'Cause you don't get one sh*t
You get two ♪

♪ I fell in love with Zoë
In Mr. Shapiro's class ♪

♪ Chemistry partners
Whose chemistry was unmatched ♪

♪ Maybe with the exception
Of hydrogen and oxygen ♪

- ♪ Water ♪
- ♪ But I never made a move ♪

♪ So she walked to the altar ♪

♪ With another dude
And I got so depressed ♪

♪ I fell apart like The West Wing
After Sorkin left ♪

♪ I was filled with regret
But if this song is correct ♪

♪ I missed my one sh*t at love ♪

♪ But I got one sh*t left ♪

♪ And now it's time for my verse ♪

♪ Tonight for me is gonna be-- ♪

♪ If your first movie bombs ♪

♪ Make a better sequel ♪

♪ You fail the bar exam ♪

♪ Become a paralegal ♪

♪ Your first band, the Quarrymen
Doesn't move the needle ♪

♪ Form a second band
And call it the f*cking Beatles ♪

- [snapping fingers]
- ♪ Oh ♪

♪ We all get one sh*t twice ♪

♪ We all get one sh*t twice ♪

♪ In other words
We get two sh*ts at life ♪

♪ That's right
We all get one sh*t twice ♪

- ♪ Two sh*ts ♪
- ♪ We all get one sh*t twice ♪

♪ We all get one sh*t twice ♪

♪ In other words
We get two sh*ts at life ♪

♪ That's right
We all get one sh*t twice ♪

♪ Two sh*ts ♪

[music ends]

[smacks lips]

You know, normally,
I would want to hear every single detail.

But with you, I would just love it
if you could just skip to the part

where Aniq gets drunk and what happened.

I can't skip ahead.
I'm telling you a story here.

I'm building character arcs,
dynamics, all these things.

A's, B's, whoo, whoo, whoo.
You gotta enjoy it, okay?

You're gonna--
It's gonna be worth it in the end.

And then you're gonna be like,
"I wish you did more of this," so...

[Australian woman on recording]
Inhale your love for the fetus

and exhale the toxins.

[clears throat] Somebody's in here.
There's a person in here.

- Hi.
- Oh, uh, yeah.

What is it that you're doing exactly?

I'm trying to meditate to stay calm.

Yeah, totally. Uh, could you write
on this piece of paper,

"I have diarrhea"
or "don't have diarrhea"?

I'm sorry. You interrupted
my sacred meditation for diarrhea?

No. Actually, I interrupted you
for a game about diarrhea.

See-- All right.
Imagine a town, all right?

With villagers.

With ghosts.

With a barrel of clams.

And one toilet.

Okay, you know what? I'm gonna do it.

And that way, you could probably
just leave me alone afterwards.

- All right.
- Yeah. Okay.

Thinking about calling it
"Spooky Dookies."

- Okay. There you go.
- Thank you.

All right. Whoa.
What is this? Like, the British spelling?

Oh, Australian actually.

Uh, my recent trip to Melbourne
is where my baby was conceived.

- Yeah, that's enough. I appreciate that.
- Okay.

And so the villagers are kind of just
deciding amongst themselves, like,

- whether they do or don't have it.
- Aniq.

Why would you think it's appropriate
to play a game right now?

- And it's about diarrhea?
- Somebody say diarrhea game?

Uh...

- I'm in.
- Oh, okay. Uh, yeah.

So you're just gonna write
whether you do or don't have diarrhea.

And then you initial right there.

Uh, an H in the middle. That's new.

- Diarhrea!
- [both chuckle]

- I love this game.
- [both chuckle]

Yes!

- Okay. I know it sounds weird.
- Yeah. [sighs]

So Aniq was just obsessed
with being alone with Zoë.

So while he was pursuing that,
I went to find Xavier

to reconnect our bond so I can
ask him to... Hit me with it!

- Bless your track?
- That's it!

Xavier. My God, I didn't know
you were going to be here.

Yeah. No, I'm just trying to
keep a low profile tonight.

- Just blend in, you know?
- But you came in on a helicopter, right?

Yeah, right. But we came in real low.
Under-the-radar type of deal, you know.

Ah. You, baby.

- You know it.
- Dude, you know what?

We gotta catch up.

What do you say, you and me
by the bar? I'll get you a drink.

Yeah. You know what, I could use
another drink. You want one?

- Mmm. I'm good, thanks.
- Okay, yeah. BRB.

- Be around, baby. BRB. [chuckles]
- Uh, it means "be right back."

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Hey, two sh*ts. [chuckles]

Man, we have been through
some unbelievable stuff.

Unforgettable, you and me.
Can you believe it?

And here we are.
The two-man band reunites.

Are you talking about
Ska-pe Diem reuniting?

Ska. [laughing] So f*cking dumb.

So dumb.

But also, like, I guess, super important
and dedicated to ending racism, right?

I guess we weren't all that bad
for lame-ass teenagers.

We had our moments.

Hey, you know what? To moments.

- What do you think?
- That's good.

Ready? Oh.

[both groaning]

- Oh!
- Whoo!

- You were still going by Eugene back then.
- Oh.

Do you remember that? Until I was like,
"Man, you gotta go by your middle name.

You gotta go by Xavier."

- That's right. That was you.
- You're the one with the middle name.

- I was just like, "Use it."
- You changed my life, man.

Yes.

♪ 'Cause the party's never ending ♪

[both] And we're skanking till it's late!

Ooh, that song was fire, man.

Yeah, I know. I know.

You know, I'm-- I'm-- I'm actually, uh,

- making my own music right now.
- Are you?

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Good for you, man. That's great.

- Thanks.
- Whoa. Hey, where did Zoë go?

Hey, actually, you know what? Um...

sh*t. I'm sure people ask you
this stuff all the time,

but, um, man, I'd really love it
if you could bless one of my tracks.

Oh.

Just like an intro, or, "Here comes
Yasper," or something like that.

- Something classic you.
- Yeah.

It doesn't have to be a big thing.

- Maybe one day. [chuckles]
- What about tonight at the after-party?

We can go to your place, and we can just
record it in the studio that I installed.

What-- What do you say?

Yeah, sure. Whatever.

[laughs] Yeah!

- [crowd cheers]
- ♪ He said, "Yeah, sure, whatever" ♪

♪ Three words and letters ♪

♪ That mean, "I unambiguously agree
To bless your track" ♪

♪ And there's no way
That I'm misinterpreting that ♪

Here we go!

♪ "Yeah, sure, whatever" ♪

♪ Means we're gonna work together ♪

♪ And turn Yasper into a household name ♪

♪ He wants to do for me
What did for the Game ♪

♪ Minus their ensuing beef ♪

♪ That exchange
Could not have gone better ♪

♪ I can't believe he said ♪

♪ "Yeah, sure, whatever" ♪

♪ "Yeah" is just a cool guy's way
Of saying yes ♪

♪ "Sure" means he's absolutely positive
He wants to bless ♪

♪ But of the three words
The third is the best ♪

♪ "Whatever" means
The possibilities are endless ♪

♪ The music-streaming apps
Are all gonna crash ♪

♪ Too many people
Will be listening to my track ♪

♪ I'll hang with Meghan, Harry
Jay-Z and Bey ♪

♪ 'Cause they're the only ones
Who will be able to relate ♪

♪ To the pressures of my level of fame ♪

♪ I'll develop a drug problem
Probably cocaine ♪

♪ He said, "Yeah, sure, whatever" ♪

♪ Yasper featuring Xavier ♪

♪ We'll be number one in countries ♪

♪ They'll make a sequel to A Star is Born
Starring me ♪

These balloons can support my weight.

- [crashing, clattering]
- Whoa.

♪ "Yeah, sure, whatever" ♪

♪ Let's celebrate my success together ♪

♪ This dance is spontaneous
It's totally not choreographed ♪

♪ And I will stand up on this table
And tap-dance ♪

Everybody, now!

♪ Whatever, whatever ♪

Uh, guys. Hey. Hey, guys?

♪ Don't just sing "whatever" ♪

♪ It sounds much worse
When you leave out "yeah" and "sure" ♪

- ♪ Whatever ♪
- Okay.

♪ That's really mature ♪

Are we back in high school?

♪ I'm gonna be a national treasure ♪

- [all] Yeah, sure!
- [Yasper] Okay, you know what?

♪ Whatever ♪

Chelsea?

Just get in.

Uh, that's my car.

This is my car, everybody.

What's happening? Hey. Hey.

Those aren't keys. That's your lipstick,
and you've ruined it.

[laughing]
Yeah, I should not-- I'm not-- It's-- Oh!

[laughs]

And, you know, it's...
[inhales deeply] ...anger, you know?

And-- And Saint Patrick's Day party.

He's gonna be sorry.

Wait. Stop, stop. Who's gonna be sorry?

- Oh.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa. I gotta get to the after-party.

You can't drive, all right?
How about this? I can give you a ride.

Yeah, sure. Whatever.

I'm touched you asked me
to play your game.

[chuckles] Yeah. Well, everybody
is, uh, participating, so it's not--

- It means a lot.
- Mm-hmm.

- [Walt] Sorry. Oh. Uh, Walt.
- That's enough.

Oh.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Uh, Zoë. I'm s-sorry I was--
I was so pushy earlier.

No, no, no. I'm sorry.

I didn't consider this is probably
really hard for you too.

And I'm worried about you.
Everyone seems to think you did it.

Everyone. It's all anyone's talking about.
[laughs]

Sorry, you're you. That's not funny.

The real reason
I'm getting everybody to do this

is so I can find out who k*lled Xavier.

What?

Well, it's complicated.

But whoever writes "diarrhea"
the same way it's written on my neck

may be the k*ller.

Plus, I think I created
a pretty-- pretty fun game.

- There's three rounds, so each tier--
- What does it look like on your neck?

Uh, you know,
I'll-- I'll-- I'll show you after.

Are you being serious?

I don't think you could've k*lled anyone,

let alone draw on me
when I was passed out.

Well, I wouldn't be too sure...

about that last part.

You drew on me?

What-- Well, what did you draw?

Guess you'll have to find out.

- You've got to wonder...
- Oh!

...if she changed her handwriting
because she knew it was a test.

[chuckles] Is that smart?

It's amazing you're still here.

Thank you. [chuckles]

So we rolled into the after-party.
And I texted Xavier.

[Chelsea]
What an impressive, fabulous ride, Yasper.

Well, thank you very much. And it's mine.

That's perc-- He's texting.
He's texting back right now.

Oh, I hate this perfectly beautiful,
amazing house.

He's still texting. Still texting.
Do you guys see Xavier anywhere?

Uh, Xavier Schmavier.

Still texting.

Maybe he's probably thinking
about the perfect way to bless my track.

Hey, buddy. If you need it,
I'll bless your track, 'kay?

[scats]

[sighs]

Why is this taking so long?

Yes. Yasper. How's it going, man?

I don't know yet.

♪ This is my second sh*t ♪

♪ The last one I got ♪

♪ My whole future's in his fingertips ♪

♪ Will I be a superstar? ♪

♪ Or will I remain
A four-and-a-half star ♪

♪ A/V installation guy on Angie's List? ♪

♪ Am I destined for glory or not? ♪

♪ I can't stand this purgatory ♪

♪ Of the dot ♪

♪ Dot ♪

♪ Dot ♪

♪ I'm three dots ♪

♪ From stardom ♪

♪ All of my dreams may come true ♪

♪ When his text finally comes through ♪

♪ Three dots ♪

♪ From stardom ♪

♪ Is this a new beginning for me
Or the end? ♪

♪ Come on, bro, just f*cking press send ♪

Come on, man. Just one text. Please.

♪ Who knows, tomorrow
I could be partying with supermodels ♪

♪ Drinking champagne by the bottle ♪

♪ Is this guy writing me a novel? ♪

♪ I'm here
Are you DTB? ♪

♪ Doesn't merit
A very lengthy response ♪

♪ You can make it brief ♪

♪ A simple Y meaning yes is all I need ♪

♪ Who the hell types for this long? ♪

♪ The entire duration of a song ♪

Aniq.

[Zoë] I mean, it's just a dress.

[Xavier] Just a dress? Nah, nah.

That's a statement
with an exclamation point.

- Yeah?
- Yeah. You know it.

[Zoë, Xavier laughing]

What's up, man?

- Hey, Brett.
- Yeah.

[clattering]

- Brett? What the hell?
- Whoops.

Are you okay?

Oh, I'm aces, baby.

- You're very drunk. Aniq. Aniq.
- You're so talented.

Hey, Xavier. Xavier.
I'm still waiting for that text.

[Xavier, Zoë sighing]

- Remember me, bro?
- I remember, bitch.

- Oh, I remember you.
- Oh, yeah? What do you remember?

It's all falling apart.

Flaming Jell-O sh*ts!

- No. No, no, no, no, no, no. No. No.
- Oh, that's terrible.

- No, no.
- One more.

No, that's a candle. That's a candle.

- You're a candle.
- Whoops, here you go.

- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.

♪ I'm three dots ♪

♪ From stardom ♪

♪ To deny the world of this voice
Would be a shame ♪

♪ I'm so talented ♪

♪ Check out my vocal range ♪

♪ Three dots ♪

♪ From stardom ♪

♪ I could have a song
At the top of the charts ♪

♪ If Xavier would just sing
An itty-bitty part ♪

♪ Will I be famous? ♪

♪ Will I be rich? ♪

♪ The only thing standing in my way ♪

- ♪ Is this ♪
- ♪ Dot, dot, dot ♪

♪ Ellipsis ♪

Two verses, three choruses,
one bridge and a broken heart.

What? Did you see anything else?
Did you see what happened?

I was lost in / time.

But-- But when I did see Aniq,
I came to his rescue again.

Could you close your legs, please?

Thank you.

[chuckling]
I'm so pumped I brought my pranking pen.

Ned, what is wrong with you?

- That's not funny. Get off of him.
- It's pranks. I put a mustache--

You didn't think of it.

- It's very original.
- Why is that funny? It's a mustache.

It's not funny now. It'll be funny
when he wakes up. [chuckles]

Aniq, you okay, buddy? Can you hear me?

What happened with your pants?
How is that even possible?

By the way, the mustache looks good.
A little Lando.

I'm gonna get you some pants, okay?

- [man grunting]
- [woman moaning]

Could be me one day.

Oh, Mr. Shapiro! What's going on, dude?
I didn't know you were gonna--

It's a bad time. It's a bad time?
Okay. Oh. Hi, Heather.

A hero has come. Yeah, now your
penis won't be out to the world.

Do you know what I mean? Listen to me.

- I will always be by your side.
- [phone buzzes]

No matter what happens, I'm here for you.
We've been through so much--

Oh, baby! It's back on, baby! Let's go!

You ready for a hit track, Zoë?

Whoo! All for one and f*ck 'em all!

What a twist! What happened?

- Chels, ready for some music magic?
- Nah. I think I'm gonna go home.

No, you can't. There's gonna
be a listening party.

What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong.

I was gonna do a thing tonight,
and it just didn't work out.

Can I tell you something that
I think is gonna blow your brains?

I'm about to record a track with Xavier.
It's the first time since Ska-pe Diem.

Ska-pe Diem, the premier East Bay Area
high school ska band from the mid- s?

Oh, my God. You know all about us
because we were incredible in high school.

Yeah, my head exploded off my body,
and I had no head for a week.

That's not the point, I'm so sorry.
The point is, take your sh*t now.

It is never too late to ska-pe diem.
Do you understand what I'm saying?

I'm living proof. Look at this.
From this side now. And this.

You are the most inspiring
individual I've ever met.

- Thank you, Yasper.
- What a great conversation. Thank you.

Wait, wait, wait. Hold up, hold up.
This is serious, okay?

Does everybody know what time it is?

- It's time to party.
- [all cheering]

[laughing]

Oh, okay. She's going over there too.
I guess her thing involves him.

That's cool. Oh.

Bringing him over here.
My man, to the recording studio.

It is time for us to--
Okay, they're going up there.

It's this way. Ah, X. Okay, you know what?

I'll see you in the recording studio
in ten minutes. Not a big deal.

Take your time. Don't rush.

Good for her. That's fine.
I can wait it out. No problem.

In the meantime, though... [inhales deeply]

[Yasper] Obviously, I had to take a selfie
to memorialize the historic moment.

- [shutter clicking]
- What, this thing?

That's good.

- [typing]
- [phone chirps]

Xavier's text said Track in the Work in
Progress folder would work for our collab.

So I opened it up.

[electronic dance music playing]

[chuckles]

[woman vocalizing]

[Xavier] ♪ How great is this party ♪

Ooh! No! No!
[chuckles] How great is this party?

- [chuckles]
- I don't get it. What's so funny?

You may wanna write this down
to remember it later,

just so you can talk about it yourself.

So, right when Xavier and I transitioned
from Sublime covers to originals,

I came up with the
perfect musical philosophy.

- The four categories of songs.
- Please do not list them.

Category one: "I love you, or I hate you,
but I secretly love you."

- Okay, those I like.
- Right?

- That's a great type of song.
- Uh-huh.

Two: "I'm so great,"
or "My hometown's so great."

Category three: "Come on, everybody.
Listen up, this is important."

See, those are your issues songs.
Those are your Bono's,

- your Macklemore's, know what I'm saying?
- Mm-hmm.

People that have something to say.
To give something to society.

And then number four... [rolls tongue]
Drumroll, please. Hit me with a drumroll.

You're not doing it.
Hit me with a drumroll. I'll do it.

Do it with me.
You don't have to. That's fine.

Number four: "How great is this party?"

That's the party anthem, because every
single time Xavier and I played together,

I would grab the microphone and yell,
"How great is this party?"

And people would go nuts.

That's why Xavier said that I inspired it.

Wow. Congratulations, man.

It sounds like to me you got one rosebush

just growing on a big ol' pile of sh*t.

From you, it means so much.
Thank you very much.

- [music playing]
- [Yasper] So, Xav's track was good,

but it lacked hype. The secret ingredient.

Luckily, I had the perfect source.
Our MLK Day concert.

[Yasper on speakers]
How great is this party?

[Yasper]
So I sampled the audio of myself shouting…

[Yasper on speakers]
"How great is this party?"

[Yasper] ...and put it on the track.

[Yasper on speakers]
How great is this party?

♪ How great is this party? ♪

In the back now.

- ♪ How-- How-- How-- ♪
- [Xavier] ♪ She don't wanna leave ♪

- ♪ But she leaving with me ♪
- ♪ How-- How-- ♪

♪ f*ck around and sip Bacardí ♪

[Yasper]
But nine minutes had already gone by,

and Xav still wasn't done with Chelsea.

I couldn't risk it.

♪ How-- How great is this party? ♪

So I ideated an idea.

♪ How great is this-- ♪
[echoes]

[beeping]

How great is this party? Five, six, seven…

- [Ned laughing]
- ♪ 'Cause the party's never ending ♪

What on earth?

♪ Now we're picking up the rhythm
But also erasing hate ♪

Solo!

- [Aniq] Hey.
- [Ned chuckling] Oh, my God.

- What happened to me?
- Wait a second. Are you okay?

- Are you all right?
- Who did this to me?

- It was Xavier, wasn't it?
- I really don't think it was Xavier.

Don't worry. I'm not gonna, like,
freak out or anything, you know?

I'm not gonna, like, hurt him.

- [chuckles] Could you imagine?
- No.

I'm just gonna explain to Xavier
that his pranks aren't okay.

They weren't in high school,

- and they're not now. All right?
- Aniq.

- I'll be right back, okay?
- Okay.

If you see him, could you tell him
to meet me in the recording studio?

[Xavier] One, two...

♪ A lot of people think
That having fun is bad ♪

♪ 'Cause if you are having fun
That means someone else is sad, but if-- ♪

[video stops]

- [Aniq screams] Oh!
- [Yasper] That's when I heard the scream.

Can I see the text messages
you were talking about?

Of course. I mean, these could be
the very last words he ever texted.

Um, "Track in WIP folder
should work for our collab.

You inspired it.

Be there in-- Be there in ten minutes."

This definitely narrows down
the time of death.

There you go.

I was so close to my dreams.

And-- And now they're gone.
And so is Xavier.

You know what? I understand
what you're going through.

You've got dreams. You're a hustler.

We're both alike in a lot of ways.

Are you hitting on me?

Hell no.

Often. Stress.

And I know how to spell it, by the way.

Besides, I've never had it before.
My stools are rock-hard. Always.

Oh. Cool.

- Healthy.
- Okay.

Hey, Chelsea. How's it going?

Hey, Aniq.

You can come closer. I'm-- I'm not crazy.

No, I know. Yeah. Here I come.

Ooh. Hey, Chelsea.

- Uh...
- That's better.

So, a bunch of us are playing
this fun game where you--

Kind of, you-- you write down,
like, a-- a sentence.

That's the game? You write a sentence?

There's three rounds to it,

and so in the first round, uh,
it's-- it's called the villager round,

so everybody's a villager,
so everybody writes down--

You know, I just... [sighs] I-- I don't
really feel like playing any games.

Well, the only way the game works
is if everybody kind of plays,

and you're the only one
who hasn't done it.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah. I'm pretty sure.

I got Ned, I got-- I got Brett,
I got Jenn , I...

Oh, my God.

Hey, can I say one more thing?

There's no way Aniq could have done this.

I'm telling you, the last person
to have seen Xavier was Chelsea, right?

They were in the room together.

And I can't speak on her mental state,
but I can speak to Aniq's, and he's just--

He's too good of a guy.
He's like a real kind human being.

His heart is made of cotton candy
and gummy bears and jollies

that you just want to pop into your mouth
and go... [imitates munching]

I am glad that we are done here.

Jenn .

- [woman] Exhale the toxins.
- I'm calm.

I'm not raising my voice.

I am inviting you to stop barging in
on me like a giant assh*le.

Yeah. This-- This is important.

[exhales deeply]

Oh! Detective Danner?

I crushed it. She loved my--

My BFF, Jennifer ...

What about her?

She's missing.

[stammers] She was here when I woke up,
and now she's not.

Yeah. And she's nowhere in the house.
I keep calling and calling.

There's a chance we may have
a second victim on our hands.

Okay, Angela Lansbury.
This is our case. So...

No. You know what? He might be right.

Why don't you recheck every room
in the house and outside?

Absolutely. [whispers] f*ck you.

- Detective, you said outside?
- Mm-hmm.

That has to be your number one priority.
She will not fare well in the wild.

Wait a second. Who could possibly
have it out for Jennifer ?

- I don't know.
- Detective.

We found something wedged
between the rocks near Xavier's body.

Is it Jennifer ? It's Jennifer . I know.

I knew it. She's dead. Oh.

Chelsea.

[sighs]

Yeah. It's mine.