01x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

Do you mind if I have a quick check?

I'm a doctor.
Probably should have said.

This is obs and gynae,
also known as brats and twats.

My tongue is totally covered in
spots.

What you have is taste buds.

Send her home. So, who did you say
you were

when you called my mother?

I said I was your flatmate.

She knows we've only got one
bedroom.

A little bit less Alton Towers.
Do you think I'm rubbish?

How many babies have you delivered?

Erm... Remember when I asked you to
be an acting registrar?

Try acting like a bloody registrar.
I'm very worried about your baby.

I'm going to have to deliver
you immediately.

Turns out I probably
shouldn't have sent her home.

Hurry up.

Come on.

Oh, my God, come on!

OK, that's enough.

Let's open her up again.
OTHERS GROAN

I'm not gonna let you do that.

And how exactly are you gonna
stop me, Sister?

Swabs go missing all the time.

We'll find it.
I'm not telling you

how to do your job, Doctor,
but if we can't find the swab,

shouldn't you...? I'm sorry,

I thought you weren't telling me
how to do my job.

OK, everybody, can you just
check in your shoes

just in case it's fallen in there?

Um, hi. How are you doing?

Um, as you've probably gathered,

we can't find one of the swabs
that we used in the Caesarean,

so we're going to have to
check that it isn't...

..that we haven't left it
sort of inside you.

Sort of inside me?

Sort of totally inside you, yeah.

And it wouldn't dissolve?
It would, yes, slowly, though,

over the next 6,000 or 7,000 years.

Erm...

Yep. Sorry.

OK, erm, scissors.

SHE SIGHS

Blunt forceps.

Look what I found.

You thieving little fucker.

Apologies, Tracy.

And apologies, Dad.

♪ Trouble

♪ Oh, trouble, trouble,

♪ Trouble, trouble

♪ Feels like every time
I get back on my feet

♪ She come around
and knock me down again... ♪

Is everything OK?
What's going on?

Everything's fine, thanks,
random man with a rucksack.

No, I meant
with the baby in...in Five.

I'm the doctor who delivered him.
So is he, erm...? Is he OK?

No. If you remember,
you misdiagnosed his mother

so he was delivered
about 15 weeks too early.

No, I meant with the, um...

Was the lumbar puncture normal?
Did you repeat the bloods?

You've done your bit, mate.

We're doing ours now.

LIFT BELL DINGS
You still here?

I was just checking something.

Yeah. We all make mistakes.

Doesn't mean that we're bad
at our jobs.

If we learn from them,
they're what makes us better.

All right, Gandhi,
it was a f*cking lost swab.

No, not that! The mistake
you were visiting in there.

Anyway, get out of here.

You should've been home,
what, six hours ago?

Swab-ert De Niro.

What? Oh. I'd have
gone with Swab-ert Downey Jr.

Yeah, Julian said that one, so...

CLANG

GROANING

Harry?
What the f*ck are you doing?

The door's broken.

Won't open. Keys...

Key's broken. What?

For God's sake. Come on.
HE GRUNTS

You've got some, er,
food on your face.

That's probably placenta.

Harry...

Oh... Whoa, you fixed it.

How was work?

Fine, thanks. In. Now. Bed.

Uh... Uh-uh.

That's my wallet.

Harry...

Kiss me.

MUFFLED: Harry...

OK, OK, OK.

♪ Is it cruel or kind not to
speak my mind

♪ And to lie to you rather
than hurt you?

♪ Well, I'll confess all of my sins

♪ After several large gins

♪ But still I'll hide from you

♪ Hide what's inside from you

♪ And alarm bells ring

♪ When you say your heart
still sings

♪ When you're with me,

♪ Oh, won't you please forgive me?

♪ I no longer hear the music

♪ And all the memories

♪ Of the pubs and clubs

♪ And the dr*gs and the tubs... ♪

TOASTER POPS

♪ Oh, I no longer hear the music

♪ Oh, I no longer hear the music

sh*t, sorry. Did I wake you?

What are you doing? Knitting.

Shall I make you a cocoa
before you head off to bridge?

Harry...

Harry, stop.

You're gonna make me late for work.
So I am.

Is this shirt OK?

Assuming that's a jumper you were
knitting to wear over it.

I shouldn't be back too late
tonight.

Good. Greg and Emma will be
here at seven,

so make sure you're back by then.

Having said that, these things
are fluid, aren't they?

You never know when you'll be
called for an emergency.

She's not that bad.

Compared to who, Idi Amin?

You know, it's probably
about time you stop telling him

how much you hate her.

They're getting married.

She's having his baby.

It'll be nice.

I'm doing fajitas.

DOOR CLOSES

Doesn't have to be fajitas.

You look like you haven't slept.

No, I've had to cut sleeping out.

It's an unnecessary distraction
from these exams.

When are they? A few weeks.

And I have done
a quarter of anatomy,

so that's, what, a leg?

I've not even started on
embryology or biochemistry,

and I'm on call with Adam
in ten minutes.

I don't wanna sound like your mum...
But I should be married by now?

Look, tell Adam he can do it
on his own for once.

And he's taking all day the way
he's acting at the moment.

He's doing biopsies on every
freckle on a patient's arse

just in case it's some rare
case of Japanese melanocytic.

And, er, just one more night
and I've got a few days off.

Um, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
It'll be nice for AJ

to see her mum for a change.

Tracy!

Come on, put your GCSE biology down.

We've got work to do.
SHE SIGHS

Look, why don't you be a brave boy
and go there on your own?

Excuse me? I'm sure Shruti would
like a little bit more time

with her textbooks.

Yeah. And I'd like £85 million
and a ten-inch cock

but, you know, can't win 'em all.

Come on...Swab Marley.

OK, fine.

Come up to gynae in two hours.

But I'm gonna test you
afterwards and I want you

to know all of Heads, Shoulders,
Knees And Toes.

Verse and chorus.

Look, honestly, I'm sure it's
nothing. She's always

playing things down. You think
I'm dying every time I fart.

Her head could be hanging off
and she'd refuse an aspirin.

Maybe we should listen to what
the doctor thinks.

Can I put a hand on your tummy?
How cold are they?

A bit. That's good.

It means they ain't just been
inside another patient, then.

SHE LAUGHS

Means they haven't been
inside a living patient.

Right. How bad's the pain
on a scale of zero to ten,

where zero is no pain at all and ten
is sawing your own leg off

while listening to Michael Buble?

Let's say...three.

Chopping chillies
and rubbing your eyes.

This is what I mean,
that's clearly an eight.

May I lift your top up?

Oh, f*cking Christ.

I'm fine.

Right, I do think there might
be something going on here.

Tell you what it is.
I had a kebab last night.

It literally looked like Hagrid's
cock.

And there's a condition called
ovarian torsion,

where the ovary gets twisted
around on itself.

I want to admit you to the ward,

get you round to theatre as soon
as we can

and have a look inside.
An operation?

Are you serious? It's nothing.

I don't think it's nothing.
Listen to the doctor.

He wouldn't operate
if he wasn't certain.

Are you certain, then? Like, 100%?

Well... Oh, look, he ain't.
Come on, let's go.

Nothing in medicine is 100%,

but if you go home, that would
be against my firm advice,

and you risk making this
a lot worse and losing an ovary.

Or...worse.

Ruth.
If you need an overnight bag,

maybe your friend can pop home
and get some stuff for you?

Oh, not friends. Enemies?

Civil partners. Oh, um, goodness.

I didn't mean... Sorry.

I presume you don't have
a problem with that?

No. No, no, no.
Maybe don't pick a fight

with the person who's trying
to save your life.

Hmm. So he claims.

Um...

Good. Um, OK,
I'll see you up on the ward.

Let's get her up to gynae.

Oi, this is total bullshit.
He's taking the piss.

Is that a mattress suture,
Mr Lockhart?

Yes. It's very elegant.

My rectum is clean enough already,
thank you, Julian.

Um, Mr Lockhart,
there's a patient on the ward

I think we should operate on
smart-ish,

if you don't mind ticking
the old box.

Let's hear it, then. I never knew
you were such a good ventriloquist,

Mr Lockhart. Boys.
Um, patient's 26 years old,

I've just admitted her from A&E with
acute abdominal pain and nausea.

Negative pregnancy test.

She's in significant pain
when I examine her,

all pointing to ovarian torsion.
Ultrasound?

A&E did an ultrasound,
which was normal,

but obviously that doesn't
exclude...

Do you normally operate
on patients with period pains?

It's really not period pains.

Look, we're pleased
you're being cautious.

I'd be cautious too if I'd nearly
k*lled one of my patients

at your stage.
We're at the same stage, Julian.

Sorry. Is that a typo
where it says acting registrar?

I think what Julian is trying to say
in his own special way

is that we leave surgery
as a last resort.

Operative risks.

I know what operative risks are.
Can we just CT her?

We could just CT every patient
in the hospital

if you're totally determined
to bankrupt the place.

Common things are common, Adam.

If you hear hooves clip-clopping

outside of your bedroom window,
it could be a zebra,

but, realistically,
it's gonna be a horse.

LOCKHART CHUCKLES

Home. Now!

But if it is ovarian torsion?
Send her home, there's a good boy.

Oi, Doctor! Don't rush
or anything, fella, I'm fine.

What time you cutting me open,
then?

We've decided in fact
to not operate but to send you...

SHE GROANS

..here.

To send you here and see
how you get on overnight.

Luckily, my female sexual partner

is just fetching some stuff for me.

I didn't mean to be insensitive
before.

I'm...gay too, actually. Really?

Cos it sounds like you've never
said that before.

Uh, well, I will, erm,
pop back in the morning

and see how you're doing.

Who's up first, then? Um...

The MOB in bed 17.

MOB? Miserable Old Bat.

Is that a good one?

You can't just make them up.

Can I see Mrs Winnicka's bloods?

But they were normal.

Yeah.

Yeah, one sec.

Yeah, she had a bit
of a night of it.

Episode of chest pain.

The SHO did blood and an ECG.

I've had a look and they're all
normal. Why have you done this?

What?
Welded a laptop to a Zimmer frame.

No, they've replaced
all the ward computers

with computers on wheels.
Of course they f*cking have.

Turn it on, then.

I'm gonna have to plug it in.

Battery only lasts about a minute.

COMPUTER BEEPS

If this thing was any more
useless, you'd be out of a job.

Yeah, look there. Normal. Hang on.

Yeah. Yeah, it's normal.
OK, let's go and see her.

And bring your new toy.

SHE SIGHS

Ohh!

Christ alive.

It can be a lonely place
in hospital

if you've got no friends
or family visiting...

Morning, Mrs Winnicka.

Why you brought me this one?

I prefer Dr Julian. Lovely and tall.

..or if you're a total bitch.

Well, you're stuck with me,
I'm afraid, horrible and short.

So, any more of that pain
in the chest since last night?

Why do you care? Because it reflects
very badly on me if you die.

SHE SCOFFS
Nobody cares if I die.

Oh, I dunno.

The lion and the wardrobe
would probably miss you.

Any more of that
pain in the chest, then?

No, no more of that. That's good.

Let's get the cardiology doctors
to review you,

just to be on the safe side. Shruti,
can you arrange that, please?

Really? But we've had
no positive test results.

I don't think...

I mean, yeah, of course.

That...that's fine. Yes.

LAUGHTER

Uh...

How are you doing?

You're a doctor.

Not doing bloody job for you.

Who's this handsome man?

Can we expect a visit?

Hell of a job digging him up.

Oh, God, sorry.

What about the lovely strapping
boys next to him?

If they're dead as well,
it'll be easier if I just join them.

This one busy with work.

That one
hasn't thought of excuse yet.

Well, hopefully you'll be
out of here before too long.

It's already too long.

It's so loud in here.

The woman in that bed stinks.

Can't even get a whisky at night.

I'm sorry. Very good at being sorry,
aren't you?

OK. Well, uh, it's lovely
talking to you, Mrs W.

We'll see you tomorrow.

You OK?

My SHO's pretty insubordinate,
but other than that...

They're gonna stop accepting
your referrals

if I keep crying wolf
with the unnecessary ones.

Ah, you see,
this is a necessary one,

because I asked for it.
LID SLAMS

Hey, do me a favour.

Get me a bottle of whisky.

For Mrs Winnicka.
Can she go home today?

Well, not alive.

And that patient
you've admitted from A&E.

How long's she likely
to be here?

We're monitoring her overnight with
a view to operating in the morning.

And you've discussed this with your
consultant?

Obviously, otherwise she wouldn't be
here, would she?

Hi, Mum. Listen,
can I call you tomorrow?

No, I can't tonight. I'm having
dinner with Greg and Emma.

Yeah, just the three of us.

I know you hoped
I'd marry Helen, Mum,

you've mentioned it every 40 minutes
for the last five years.

Can we talk about something else?

Not that. Right, look,
I'm going. Bye.

PAGER BEEPS

So sorry.

Oh, no, no. This isn't for me.
It's for my boss.

SHE SIGHS

No, he's gonna give it
to one of the patients.

SHE SIGHS

So that's the antibiotic

to sort the infection that got
everyone so worried before.

And that one is...

No, don't know
what that one is, sorry.

No, that one's the...

Yes, that one's the antibiotic.

HE CHUCKLES SOFTLY

I'm more of a Caesarean section
kind of guy, to be honest.

I really did try my best for you.

You believe me, right?

♪ This is gonna bruise

♪ Bruise you and confuse you

♪ This is really gonna smart

♪ This is gonna break your heart

♪ But you got to keep going

♪ Ignore the cracks that are showing

♪ Cos some things you can't... ♪

Bollocks.
HORN BLARES

DOG BARKS
DOOR OPENS

sh*t.

Just shush. Come on now.

sh*t.

Um...

f*ck!
HORN CONTINUES BLARING

HORN STOPS
Greg!

You coming in, or are you just
practising your beeping?

Hey. Hello, mate.

I'll see you inside.

Just gonna lock up.

I've missed watching you
lock up Betsy.

It's like watching
Tower Bridge open up.

Oh, and he's off. Dr Kay
representing Great Britain.

Oh, the window wedge
came out in one.

Well, he's lost valuable
seconds on the walkaround

but can he make it up
on the inside door knob?

Yeah, well, now it's all to
play for on the window shuffle.

And now Kay has opted for
a right-hand shuffle.

That's beautiful.

How was work?

Same sh*t, different vag*na.

You know, Emma was saying she hasn't
seen you for ages. Yeah.

It's been lovely.

Behave.

You do know no-one's gonna
steal that, right?

What were you thinking?

How did this patient possibly
warrant a cardiology referral?

I'm really sorry, I didn't mean
to waste your time.

Do you really think that's good
enough?

I've got a ward full of patients
with actual heart issues,

and her pain was clearly
non-cardiac.

She had a normal ECG
and normal bloods.

My ten-year-old could have
told you that.

I'm so sorry.

What would your registrar say
if they knew you'd done this?

Well, actually... Um...I...

All I can do is apologise.

What's your name? Shruti.

Acharya. I'll be writing
to your consultant,

Shruti...Acharya.

Oh, I just need a holiday.

I can't remember the last time
we've been in the country

for two months straight,
let alone three.

We all need a hit of sun, don't we?

Greg wants us to go back
to Barbados,

but I'm worried that's what
everyone does at Christmas.

Oh, God, yeah. If I have to spend
one more Christmas in Barbados,

I'm just gonna... Have you guys
heard Adam's degloving story?

No, I don't think so.
Oh, you will love it.

Go on.

So, degloving's when the skin

gets torn from
the underlying structures,

like when a motorcyclist
flies off his bike

and his hand goes...

Do we have to? We certainly do.

So, there's
this 18-year-old guy,

he's out celebrating his
A-level results

and he finds himself dancing
on the roof of a bus shelter.

And to get down to ground level,

he slides down a lamppost,
koala-bear-style.

Unfortunately, he's misjudged
the texture of the lamppost

and he finds himself in A&E

with severe grazing
to both hands...

..and a complete degloving
of his penis.

OTHERS GASP AND LAUGH

Ohh!

God. So what did it look like?

It was far and away
the worst penis I've ever seen.

And he's seen a lot of penises.

Professionally, of course.
So, what did it look like?

It's like a bit of spaghetti.
Can we stop?

Smeared in tomato sauce.

We are eating. Will it grow back?

What, like an octopus? Gregory...

Well, maybe. Gregory, enough!

Please.

So...um, how are the renovations
coming on?

Oh, my God, you know what it's like,
digging a basement.

Not really. I think our landlord
might complain.

And the downstairs neighbours.

Loads of mess, loads of stress,
loads of noise.

If we get let down
by one more marbler,

I think I'm gonna go spare.

EMMA LAUGHS
Oh...

Oh, I saw your mum
in John Lewis last week.

Oh, God, I'm sorry.
It was all right.

I hid behind a mannequin.

I wouldn't recognise your mum if
I bumped into her in John Lewis.

Yeah, you would. Room gets
about ten degrees colder.

Um...

Margaritas. Yes, please. Thank you.

Whoopsie! No. Oh, go on.

It'll loosen...
HE TAPS TABLE

..you up. Sorry, of course.
More lemonade?

That would be lovely.
Yeah, there's no champagne for me

at the wedding, alas.

Such a shame.

Our little munchkin's causing us
trouble already.

No champagne for Mummy.

So, how many weeks are you now?

21. Exciting. Um...

I'm gonna say, what, halfway there?

HE SCOFFS
You do listen.

And is it a boy or a girl?

Um... Yeah.

We chose not to find out.

Yeah. There are just
so few surprises left in life.

Wouldn't it be funny if
Adam ended up delivering you?

Over my dead body!

Statistically, at least half
my patients live, actually.

We're gonna play it safe
and go private.

And is everything going well so far?

Yep, we had the 22-week scan
last week. All seemed good.

We had the 5D scan.

Wow! So when you go private,

they discover two extra dimensions?

Have a look. So...?

How does it look to you?

Aww. Yeah.

She looks perfect.

She?

EMMA SIGHS

What the f*ck's gotten into you?

What's that supposed to mean?

You do know you really upset them?

Oh, yeah.

I feel really terrible for Greg

with his perfect little life.

You're jealous of him?
Is that what this is about?

Adam, he's cosplaying
as a 50-year-old.

Rubbing my face in it
with their big house

and their fancy wedding,
and car that works.

Go get a job in the City, then.
That's not what I mean.

They're just so...

..settled and...

..normal.

If normal's so important to you,

why have you ruined the first
evening

we've had together in a fortnight?

Haven't normal couples
met each other's parents?

Fine - next time
we're in Transylvania.

Adam...

What's going on?

Nothing.

I'm going to bed.
I've an early start.

DOOR CLOSES

I'll be back seven-ish.
I'm going out tonight.

I don't mean to load this
all on you,

but can you hurry up
and get better, please?

I think it'd be good
for both of us.

I'm actually good at my job.

Most of the time.

Anyway,
you don't want to hear all this.

It's just...

You just focus on learning
how to blink.

Ah, Dr Adam!

Oh, I don't think you've met
my sister, Paula.

Oh, no. Hello. Lovely to meet you.

Mm-hm. Hello, darling.

I missed you so much.

And the, uh, antibiotic's
starting to work,

so that's a bit of good news. Yes.

And they weighed him again
last night

and he's nearly two stone, so...

Two pounds.

I think...I think it was stone.

Oh, look!

Look how big you're getting.

Oh, I've actually
got something for him.

Oh, that's so kind of you.

They must have cost you a fortune.

I...

I knitted them.

That's something for him
to grow into.

Hopefully.

Look what Dr Adam made.
I love you so much.

Mummy loves you so, so much.

I don't know how it's got
so stuck up there.

It must have turned around
on itself

or must be sitting on some kind
of ledge, or something.

And there's no way you can tell me
what it is? Oh, no, no,

I want it to be a surprise for Carl.
We're always surprising each other.

Yeah, he'd have got it out himself

if he didn't have such stubby
fingers.

It's the same with
me whole family, you know?

Practically toes.

Right, let's, uh, have a look,
shall we?

What do you reckon?

A bottle of Pernod?

The gear stick
from a Vauxhall Corsa?

A selection of baklava?

That's ten points to anyone
who guessed Kinder Egg.

Right. Hey, no, no, no, no.

Don't throw it away. Carl, open it.

Oh... Oh! Oh, God.
METAL CLATTERS

Carl Morcom...

..will you marry me?

Say yes, mate. If that's what
she does with a Kinder Egg,

God knows what she'd do
to you if you say no.

Course I will, Tez. Come here.

Congratulations. Mmm...

Ah, this is so... This is
so her, Doc. This is so you.

Doc, before you go, will you...will
you take a picture of us, please?

I can't. My thumbs won't
reach the buttons.

Of course.

There you go.

Thank you so much.

I'm the luckiest man in the world.

Congratulations again.

BOTH: Thank you.

Always with your nose in a book.

Oh, you probably haven't
got there yet.

Your nose is the pointy bit
on the front of your face.

Did cardiology see Mrs Winnicka?
Mm-hm.

They were satisfied that nothing was
going on. Great.

See, no-one minds being asked.

Come on.

What do you want?

We're the doctors.
I know who you are.

That's not what I asked.
Any more of that chest pain?

No. That's good.

PAGER BEEPS AND BUZZES

Um... You didn't fancy
a nightcap?

Of course not. Jack Daniel's
tastes like cat's piss.

Well, they were fresh out of
eye of newt.

Piss off.

See you tomorrow, Mrs W.

Anything you'd like to tell me?

Um... f*ck off.
Imagine my surprise

when Benilda informed me that the
patient with period pains

was still on the ward this morning.

I instructed you to send her home.

I really don't think you should
be ignoring her symptoms.

I really don't think you should
be ignoring me and Mr Lockhart.

Who isn't pleased about this,
by the way.

HE LAUGHS
Did he tell you that

when you put an apple
on his desk this morning?

Grow up, Adam.
Can't we just leave her in

another night for observation?
Trust me, she's really...

No-one trusts you. I sent her home.

You discharged one patient
when you shouldn't have.

That doesn't mean you should keep
every other patient

in here for ever.

You're lucky to have Adam
to learn from.

Don't do what he does.

Hi, it's Adam.

Well, give her bloody paracetamol,
then.

♪ Wake up

♪ Wake up, find someone to help

♪ Come out

♪ Come out as yourself

♪ Wipe the sleep from your eyes... ♪

Hey, mate, do me a favour.

Gimme one of those.

Oi, don't touch me!

f*ck!

f*ck off.

Ruth! Ruth, wait.

Shruti, get me a spot
in emergency theatres now.

Ovarian torsion, starved and ready.

SHE GROANS
Uh-huh, yep, that's the one.

What?

I don't give a sh*t
what Julian said.

Yep. In.

100% sure. Mm-hm.

Or 50% sure.

And if it's not
an ovarian torsion,

while I'm in theatres,
I can always perform

an emergency cutting
my own head off.

Hospital number 8744352.

Yeah, great. Thank you so much.

Thank you, bye.

♪ Wake up

♪ Something is burning

♪ Wake up

♪ There's a lesson that you're not
learning... ♪

Grasper.

Please.

Right, place your bets.

Oh, sh*t.

It's bloody normal.

Isn't that good?

Oh, it's all right for her.

f*ck! If you wouldn't mind

watching your language
in theatre, please, Doctor.

Sorry, Sister. f*ck.

Jesus f*cking H Christ.

Right, well, here's
some revision for you.

This is what perfectly normal
pelvic anatomy looks like.

Oh, and here they are.

Great, right on cue.

Get out of theatre, Adam. Shruti,
you did the right thing calling me.

Right, scrub in, get this closed up.
Camera off, bugger off.

I'll deal with you afterwards.

Oh, hold on.

There's some free fluid
in the abdomen,

something's going on.

Julian, grab me
a pair of size eights.

Thank you, God
that I don't believe in.

I'm sorry about
the mild blasphemy just before.

Out the way.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

Ah, well, there's your answer.

Look how pedunculated that ovary is

and see how vascular it is
on the surface.

It's been twisting backwards
and forwards on itself.

She must've been in a right state.

Good spot, young man.

Thank you. I think we can have
a decent swing at saving this.

You ever done an oophoropexy before?
Not yet, no.

I've done a few if you want me to
walk him through it.

Thank you very much, Julian, but
I suspect we'll be fine without you.

Thank you, Julian.

Adam. Yes, Mr Lockhart.

So put another port in.

Um...

ADAM CLEARS HIS THROAT

Right. Try not to get the bowel.

That right? Yes, you don't want to
go the other way, do you?

It's a great honour, Mr Lockhart.

Oh, please! Right, you're done,
I think.

You're happy? Are you?

Well, I'm happy, but it's not
my ovary.

ADAM LAUGHS

Thank you for taking the time,
Mr Lockhart.

It's deeply appreciated.
Right, come on.

We don't want to be here all day.

There we are. Pop by my office
in half an hour, will you?

I've got a little something
I'd like to talk to you about.

OK, thank you, Mr Lock...

Thank you.

DOOR CLOSES

99p.

There you go.

What are you staring at?

Adam, I'm really sorry. What about?

That you grassed me up?
That you didn't trust me?

Or that you were wrong?
It wasn't like that.

You don't understand.
I was completely...

I know exactly what you were doing.
Looking after number one.

I was looking out for the patient

while you were on your mad,
paranoid fishing trip.

It's been like that ever since
you missed that pre-eclamptic.

You got one thing right today, sure,

but I've got a black mark
on my record now

because of you
and your crazy referrals.

Sorry, I'm just tired.

I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have said that.

Friends?

Colleagues.

Friends.

I'm actually free tonight

if you want someone to test you
on all of that stuff.

Seriously, would you mind?

It's just none of it's going in.

Sure, I forget that there was a time

when I didn't know
all of this stuff, either.

I think I was seven.

Mr Lockhart wants to give me
a pat on the back,

um, so I'll come and grab you
when I'm done.

Got a ten-year-old bottle
of cat piss we can cr*ck open.

Come.

Hey.

Lovely work there, Kay.

You're a good little doctor,
aren't you?

Sounds a bit like
I'm an Enid Blyton character,

but I'll take it.

Well, I've, erm...

I've been trained by the very best.

Did you study in London?

Er, sure did, yeah.

Um, third generation. Ah!

You got any kids? Er, no. Married?

No. Mmm.

I'm in a long-term relationship.
Oh, what does your girlfriend do?

Actually, erm, graphic design.

That's sweet.
Do you know what these are?

I'm gonna go with babies.

I ask every mum I deliver
to give me a picture.

That's the first case
of twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome

I looked after.

Internal podalic version.

That's really wonderful.

Oh, and this one's outside a fondue
station in Val-d'Isere.

Lot of crap in this job, so, er,

it's nice holding on to the good
things when they happen.

Hmm. Van Hegan.

The pre-eclamptic 25-weeker
from a couple of weeks back.

Yeah, bit of bad news, I'm afraid.

The mum's lodged a complaint.

You'll be getting
the paperwork through in a bit.

I just wanted to give you
the heads-up,

so you can start writing
your statement, all that business.

Oh, cheer up,
you're not gonna lose your job.

Just might make it harder
to get the next one.

Well, don't let me stop you
from pissing off

so I can go home.

Um... Shut the door.

Bye.

♪ I am just a man

♪ Tipping on a wire

♪ Tight rope walking fool

♪ Balanced on desire

♪ I cannot control

♪ These ever changing ways

♪ So how can I be sure

♪ The feeling will remain?

♪ It'll always change

♪ But everything I am

♪ Is yours

♪ Everything I am

♪ Is yours

♪ Find it hard to say

♪ What's going on inside. ♪

HE PLAYS SINGLE NOTE

HE SIGHS

HE EXHALES

DOOR OPENS

Thought you said you
were gonna be out tonight.

Then I realised I'd rather be in.

TV: If I was Preston's girlfriend,

I'd chore the face off you
when you came at me.

Pulling my arms. Pulling his arms.

I'd cut his cock off.

HARRY: All this is teaching me
is that famous people

are the same as normal people,
just much more boring.

Could hardly describe half
these people as famous.

TV CONTINUES

How was work?

It's fine, yeah.

You know we've been going out
for two years?

Really? Mmm.

God, feels like longer.

Feels like ten.

Maybe it is ten in straight years,
do you think?

I know when something's up.
HE SIGHS

There is something, right?

Harry?

Yeah?

Will you marry me?

No.

♪ This is gonna bruise

♪ Bruise you and confuse you

♪ This is really gonna smart

♪ This is gonna break your heart

♪ Cos some things you can't fix

♪ No matter how hard
you work at it. ♪