01x04 - Ungroundable

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Alexa & Katie". Aired: March 23, 2018 – June 13, 2020.*
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Lifelong best friends Alexa and Katie try to navigate through all the troubles high school seems to bring while Alexa is dealing with cancer.
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01x04 - Ungroundable

Post by bunniefuu »

[KATIE] Oh, hey, karaoke tonight.

Not gonna happen after my mom sees this.

[YELLS] You got a D
on your algebra test?

Louder, Katie. Don't think they heard
you over the cappuccino machine.

You got a D on your algebra test.

[ALEXA SIGHS]

How did this happen? I'm great at math.

This is high school math, OK?
Everyone's struggling.

- What did you get?
- An A, but it was a struggle.

Look, we'll go to karaoke another night.

[SIGHS] Not in this decade.

When Lucas got a D,
he was grounded forever.

So take a good look at this face.

Who knows when you'll see it again?

Well, I'll see you at school and through

your bedroom window.
Oh, we can FaceTime.

I'm making a point, Katie!

Do you want me to remember that face?

How about this face? [GRUNTS]

Yeah. Yeah, that's better.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ When I can't take it any longer ♪

♪ You make me feel stronger ♪

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ When I can't take it ♪

♪ You make it so much better ♪

♪ We'll do this together ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh, we'll do this together ♪

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ We'll do this together ♪

OK, I need a plan
to ease her into the D.

I'll tell her how pretty she is.

No, too obvious.
I'll ask her how her day was.

Oh, yeah. Asking about their days,
that's like mom Christmas.

Oh, hey, honey. Hi, Katie.

Hi, Mom! How was your day?

Me?

My day?

Oh, well, let's see. Um...

Well, our printer ran out of ink, so I

had to go to the office supply store.

But when I got there,
I forgot what cartridge we use,

so then I called your father.

He was no help because
he was landing the

plane and "couldn't be interrupted."

- [ALEXA SCOFFS]
- Wow.

So, uh, I printed the
file at the library.

[GASPS] The library? No way!

Oh, my gosh! Great twist!

It wasn't that great.

You look so pretty. [CHUCKLES]

- Alexa?
- How was your day yesterday?

OK, what's up?

I got my first math
test back today and...

well...

here.

A D?

[SIGHS] What happened?

Even when you're mad, you look pretty.

Yeah? Well I'm about to get
a whole lot prettier.

[SIGHS] Honey, you're
in high school now.

You can't...

[LORI SIGHS]

What I'm trying to say is...

try harder next time.

So that's it?

Well, can I go to karaoke tonight?

Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

[SILENTLY MOUTHS]

Wait.

[SIGHS] Yeah,
I figured that you would change your...

Just take a nap first.

And wear a sweater,
because it's chilly out.

And do a Beyoncé song. Works every time.

[LORI GRUNTS]

[KATIE GROANS]

[KATIE GAGS]

- So no Beyoncé.
- Uh-uh.

Like, ever.

- Oh, my God!
- I know!

- Why was she so cool about it?
- I don't know!

- Hey.
- Oh, hey, Lucas. You were...

[LAUGHS] ...so funny at lunch today!

We didn't have lunch together.

That wasn't me?

Huh. Huh.

Alexa, you look great.
How are you feeling?

You told him?

We were on a long car ride.

We ran out of things to talk about.

You better not tell anyone.

My lips are sealed.

[MUMBLES] See? Sealed!

Yeah, I like you better that way.

You got a D on your algebra test?

I thought you were smart.

Well, I thought you were funny, but,

hey, life is full of disappointments.

He's really smart, Lex. He's in AP Calc.

Wow. A dweeb who's good at math.
I bet the girls are all over that.

Well, guess what this "dweeb" is doing

Saturday night? It's gonna be epic.

Midnight mathlete meeting?

That's Tuesday.

We're gonna hit the Wellard sign.

No way!

You're going to change the letters
on the town sign?

Wait, can't you get in trouble for that?

Yup. I heard a guy went to jail.

He did six months... hard time.

I heard a guy got struck by lightning.
Now all he can say is...

[MIMICS ELECTROCUTION]

Yeah, I heard his garage door opens
every time he walks by.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, hey, Dad.

We're not doing anything.
How was your day?

Do I look like your mother?

Of course I can't know about it,
but are you guys thinking of, uh...

going up to the town sign
and rearranging the letters?

No.

Because when I was in high school,

a couple of kids, that may or may not

have included your
dad, changed the sign.

Really, Dad? What did you make it say?

[CHUCKLES]

[LAUGHS]

"Welcome to Wellnerd."

[LAUGHS]

Again, I may or may not
have been involved, so...

this conversation never happened.

But make it count.

Did your dad just make it uncool?

We're still doing it. We staked it out

last night and we put the ladder up.

- Mm. Then you chickened out?
- No!

It was dewy outside.

But we're going tomorrow night
and it's going to be epic!

[CHUCKLES] Totally!

Sick!

Die, zombie! Die!

Fine, die again.

I can do this all day.

Hey, Jack, bad news.

Looking at our calendar, we're not gonna

have time for our
camping trip this fall.

I'm so sorry, buddy.

OK.

Gosh, I know. It's disappointing, huh?

What?

- The camping trip.
- Oh, yeah, we're not going.

There's an asteroid headed for Earth.
We're all gonna die.

- Sounds good, Mom.
- Yeah.

♪ The love shack is a little old place ♪

♪ Where we can get together ♪

♪ Love shack, baby ♪

♪ Love shack, baby ♪

♪ Love shack, that's where it's at ♪

♪ Love shack, that's where it's at ♪

♪ Love shack, baby! ♪

[ALEXA EXHALES]

Oh, there's more people here
than usual. [CHUCKLES]

I was nervous.

Soy latte for Kimberly.

And stay in school, girls.

You know, I can't believe your mom
let you come out tonight,

and let you wear her favorite sweater.

Oh, she let me come out tonight, but

she'll never know I wore her sweater.

Yeah, it's like I'm like a closet ninja.

You know, I sneak in, I sneak out and...

[ALEXA GASPS]

- Oh, sorry!
- Oh, no!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

My mom's gonna freak out!

That's cashmere! Do you know how hard

it is to get coffee out of cashmere?

That's why I leave my cashmere at home,
and my soul.

Jack, I have a surprise.

Cool.

That you have to come outside to see.

Oh. OK, never mind.

You haven't put Zombiegeddon down
since you got it.

Come outside and get some fresh air.

What's wrong with house air?

We're going.

Surprise!

Where is it? In the tent?

The surprise is the tent.

Is there a puppy in there?

- There's nothing in there.
- There's nothing in here!

Since we can't get to the campground,
I brought the campground to us.

We'll play games, we'll make s'mores.

Come on, let's sit in the tent.

Why are you doing this to me?
I've been good.

This isn't a punishment. This is fun!

We're gonna make a fire
and I'll teach you bird calls.

I eat my vegetables,

I keep my room clean,
I flush the toilet.

We both know that's not true.

You're gonna love this!

Come on, let's do some bird calls, hmm?

[CLEARS THROAT]

[IN DEEP VOICE] Hey, boys! Over here!

[BOTH LAUGH]

That was awesome!

Bye, Mom.

[IN DEEP VOICE] Hey,
kid, come back here!

Mom?

Say something.

I loved this sweater.

Hey, you looked great in it.

No, you did, too.

[SIGHS] Mom, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what I was thinking.

You weren't. You know you're supposed

to ask me before you borrow my clothes!

I know.

Hey, you could still wear it
if you held your arms like this. Yeah.

You know what, Alexa?

[LORI STAMMERS]

I'm gonna go soak it in cold water.

Just ask next time.

Whoa.

She just let that go?

Does that seem normal?

I don't know.
My mother doesn't have cashmere.

First she let me slide for the D,
and now this?

Oh, my God! You know what this means?

She's going to buy another one, yeah.
So could I have the old one?

Because, see, if you just soak
the whole thing in coffee...

No.

It means she's going easy on me
because of my cancer.

I can't believe my mom, of all people,
would do that to me.

Oh, how dare she love you!

It's weird not getting in trouble for

things. It's like I'm ungroundable.

I'm ungroundable.

No one's ungroundable.

I am, and I'll prove it to you.

[ALEXA CHUCKLES]

This is gonna be fun.

Why do I think
this is not going to be fun?

Who's ready for a campfire song?

You are.

All right.

How about this one?

I think I know these chords.

Here's a G.

Sweet.

♪ Oh, give me a home ♪

♪ Where the... ♪ Stand by.

♪ Buffalo roam, and the... ♪

Back to G? Why not?

♪ Deer and the antelope... ♪

Oh, boy. A7, tricky city.

[DISCORDANT STRUMMING]

No. Let's skip to the chorus.

♪ Home ♪

♪ Home on the... ♪

♪ Ra... Range ♪

♪ Where the G-chord deer ♪

♪ And the antelope D7 play ♪

Hey! I'm getting it, Jack!

Jack?

[VIDEO GAME MUSIC]

Jack?

I'm in the bathroom.

Make sure you flush.

Oh! Hey, Mom!

Why did we see Saw 12?

Because it's an R-rated movie, and I'm

gonna prove to you I'm ungroundable.

[KATIE GROANS]

So, so much sawing.

I know. Who puts a power tool store
next to an insane asylum?

And who names their kid Jigsaw?

I mean, those parents
were asking for it.

And they got it.

Oh, and they got it again.

Hey. How was the movie?
What did you end up seeing?

- Uh... It was um...
- An R-rated movie.

Saw 12. Extremely violent.
How was your night, Mom?

You two snuck into an R-rated movie?

Sure did.

I don't think that was
a very good choice.

It was not.

Hold me?

Are you OK?

Yeah, I feel a little better.

I'm fine.

OK. I'm gonna go take a bath.

[LORI CHUCKLES]

By myself.

Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's probably for the best.

See? Ungroundable.

I can drive a car.

I can steal a car and drive
100 miles an hour while swearing.

Don't swear.

All right. So, what's next?

It's got to be something really bad.

Uh... How about something nice?

You know, mix it up a little.

What is going on, Alexa?

So, your mom's not punishing you.

Why does that bother you so much?

I don't know, it just does.

So we agree.

The sign will say, "Lucas rocks."

But I rock, too.

But if we say "Lucas and Dylan rock,"
it will look like we're a couple.

True.

And I could do a lot better.

Could you?

I know what we're gonna do.

We're gonna hit the Wellard sign
before they get to it.

No, thank you.

Look, you may be ungroundable,
but I'm not.

So, what, you're not going?

Uh... No, and neither are you.

Yes, I am.

Fine. If you want to go by yourself

and climb a 50-foot ladder in the middle
of the woods all by yourself,

then go, all by yourself.

Ah, she'll be back.

[CHUCKLES]

She'll be back.

[CHUCKLES]

[GROANS]

I knew you would be back! Uh...

Yeah, I live here.

Wow! Amazing!

How fun is this?

This is the coolest thing ever!

OK, get your butt out here!

I want to show you something.

- Is it a puppy?
- It's not a puppy.

Whoa! Mom!

[JENNIFER CHUCKLES]

Who did this?

Me! I did this.

The thing that I love about
our camping trips is our time together.

So now you can play your game
and we can be outside.

Come play with me, Mom!

OK, but I don't know how.

It's easy. I'll show you.

Oh, deal. And later,
maybe there could be more singing.

If there's time.

OK, so, basically,

you hit everything that moves
with a shovel.

Are we the zombies?

[GROANS] Mom.

All right.

It's time.

It's time.

Ready to make a little Wellard history?

I'm ready.

- Let's go.
- Let's go.

- So why aren't you moving?
- Why aren't you moving?

Are you scared?

Are you scared?

I hit it with a shovel,
so why is it still moving?

It's a zombie. They don't need a reason!

- Is that Zombiegeddon?
- Oh, man! I love video games.

Video games are fun.

I guess it wouldn't
hurt to check it out.

- Yeah, it would loosen us up.
- Yeah.

Plus, Jack will love it
if we play with him.

You know, it costs us so little
to make one child feel important.

- Then we'll do the sign.
- Yeah, we've got all night to be epic.

[LADDER BANGING]

Jigsaw?

[KATIE] Oh, no! Where?

Katie? What are you doing here?

WHAT I'M ALWAYS DOING:

making sure
you don't do something too stupid

while you're doing something stupid.

- Thanks!
- Whoa!

[KATIE SCREAMS]

What?

Truck! Coming right at us!

Because it's a highway.

Oh, right, right. Highway. [CHUCKLES]

Right, let's do this
before Lucas and Dylan get here.

Uh... Ooh! Hand me a W.

[GRUNTS] Yeah, too far away.

Uh... Make a word with an A.

- [SCREAMS]
- What now?

It's a dead...

garbage bag.

[SIGHS]

What do we want to say to Wellard?

It's got to be something really good.

OK, OK. Uh...

Uh... [CHUCKLES]

How about...

- [ANIMAL SCREECHES]
- [SCREAMS]

- What is it? A tree branch? A shadow?
- Look!

[BOTH SCREAM]

- What is that?
- I think it's a possum!

[BOTH SCREAM]

- Do something!
- [GROANS]

No more possum!

And no more ladder. Alexa!

You said, "Do something!"

We're gonna be up here forever

and we're never gonna sleep
or get married!

And I wanted to go to Europe!

- What are you doing?
- Calling my mom.

It's not like she's gonna
do anything to me.

[JENNIFER] Oh, yeah!

Zombie mantis level!

And you said it couldn't be done, Jack.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

What?

Oh. Oh, hey, Lori.

- What?
- [VIDEO GAME PAUSES]

Oh, my gosh! Uh...
Yeah, yeah, I'll be right there.

[SIGHS]

[GROANS]

Come on, come on.

All right, zombie mantis,
it's either you or me.

And me has got an apoca-laser.

Ka-and-boom!

[LAUGHS]

Mama took care of business.

What? There's a zombie mountain level?

[SIGHS]

[GROANS]

What if Jigsaw gets here first?

I didn't call Jigsaw.

No one calls Jigsaw!

OK? He just comes.

Wait, you're really still doing that?

It's what I came up here for.

Is it?

[CAR DOORS OPEN]

[KATIE PANTING]

If you're a serial k*ller,
there's an angry possum down there!

- [JENNIFER] Katie?
- Mommy!

Alexa, what were you thinking?

You told Lucas to do it!

She's traumatized. I don't think
we can trust anything she says.

- Hey.
- Alexa?

- I'm gonna go up.
- [DAVE] All right.

Oh, I'm sorry!

Thank God you're safe.

You had no idea how worried I was,

or how close I was
to conquering zombie mountain.

[GRUNTS] OK. Yeah.

Alexa, why would you
do something this dangerous?

Why not?
It's not like you're gonna do anything.

What are you talking about?

You haven't been punishing me
for anything.

Obviously, nothing I do matters.

Is that what you think?

Mom, I got a D.

And you practically
put it on the fridge.

You always talk about how important my

grades are for my future, but now...

it's like you think I don't have one?

Alexa.

[SIGHS] Honey, listen to me.

Of course you have a future.

I have never doubted
that for one second.

You are the strongest person I know.

So what's the deal?

It's weird.

Yeah, honey. It's...

It's weird for me, too.

For you?

Listen, I will always stay on you
about your health.

But I just can't get upset
about a D any more.

Things are different
since you got diagnosed.

So when I saw your test,

punishing you didn't
seem that important.

The doctors told us that you would be
unfocused at certain times,

and your math class
being at the end of the day,

it made sense that you would struggle.

And after letting you slide for that,

the movie didn't seem
that big of a deal, either.

So what about your sweater?

Well, I'm keeping a list
until you get healthy.

So what are you gonna do about this?

What, you mean sneaking out,

trespassing, vandalism?

Yeah.

I don't know, sweetie.

No!

Be normal! Be mean!

OK. Um...

All right.
Well, you're grounded for a week.

More.

- No more movies for a month.
- Not enough.

- No TV.
- OK.

- I'll take your cell phone.
- You made your point.

And until your math grade goes up,
you're getting a tutor.

Ha!

It's good to have my mom back.

- [POSSUM SCREECHES]
- The possum's back!

[KATIE GROANS]

And he brought his friends.

And they're coming up the ladder.

Everybody, back. I got this.

[LEAVES RUSTLE]

[CHUCKLES]

Right.

Don't worry, ladies.

[RINGING]

[SNORING]

Hey, look!

Orion's Belt.

[DAVE CHUCKLES]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[LORI] Alexa, that should be your tutor.

Please tell me there's
a tutor behind you.

Nope, just me.

I thought you had to be smart
to be a tutor.

Not really.

I just have to be smarter than you.

Done and done.

You know what? Maybe there is a problem
that you can help me with.

That's what I'm here for.

[CLEARS THROAT] OK.

So, "If a 22-foot ladder
is leaning against a 19-foot sign,

how long will it take
two 16-year-old boys to climb it?"

I'm guessing never,

because they don't have the guts
a couple of 14-year-old girls have.

[DYLAN SCOFFS]

Well, you're missing
one important variable in that equation.

It was dewy out!

[ALEXA] When I got sick,
I realized how important it was

for me to leave some kind of mark.

To let people know that I was here.

[UPBEAT THEME MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ We'll do this together ♪
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