01x09 - Winter Luau

[bunniefuu]

- [SIGHS] Morning, Mom.
- Hey.

So, remember how I was upset
about missing school

and having to FaceTime into my classes?

Do I remember you throwing yourself
on my bed and yelling,

"The doctors are ruining my life"?

Vaguely.

Well, Katie and I came up with
the perfect solution.

[TABLET CHIMES]

Bam! Portable Alexa.

Oh!

I like this!

See? Now when you go away to college,
we never have to be apart.

Yeah, too bad my college
has really bad reception.

[CHUCKLES] Bye.

Now Katie and I can still compete
to be chairs in the dance committee.

Mm. I love that they still let
the freshmen plan the Winter Formal.

Oh, I remember when I won
with the theme...

[BOTH]... "Winter Wonderland."

Well, I may have mentioned it.
I was hoping to inspire you.

Well, you did inspire me...

Ha! Surf's up!

...to go a totally different way!

Winter Luau!

It's a luau in the middle of winter.

Yeah, yeah. I got it.

Girls, selecting the Winter Formal theme

is a proud tradition at Kennedy High.

Which, again, I won.

Don't worry, Lori. We've been getting
ready for it since middle school.

We're gonna win it.

Yeah, well, we're not gonna win by using
the same old tired ideas.

[SCOFFS]

That were groundbreaking at the time.

Well, I hope you can do this from home.

We got this.

Yeah, Alexa will be on the iPad
and I'll be there.

By myself.

In front of everyone.

I hope this works
with you doing it at home.

Sure! We're partners.

It will be like we're there together.

Right.

Right!

B-But don't forget to take me.

Right.

[TABLET CHIMES]

- Did you miss me?
- Mm.

Mm-hm. You know, a little bit.

OK.

Take a big breath.

You're going in my backpack.

Oh, no! It's dark in there!

[SIGHS] I got your brother on the bus,

but we had to chase it for two blocks.

I swear that driver saw me.

But now I'm the bad guy
for throwing a rock at the back window.

Aw! You know, I remember
when we used to run after the bus.

Remember when I let you throw the rock?

Best birthday ever.

Oh, man! Jack never showed me this.

Today is Parent Career Day.

[SIGHS] If I miss another school event,

they're gonna take away
my "World's Best Mom" mug.

Hey, didn't you find that
on a soccer field?

I'd like to think that it found me.

Let's go, buddy.

♪ Ate my eggs, ate them good ♪

♪ Ate my eggs just like I should ♪

"The Breakfast Song"! You haven't
sung it since you were little.

I've got to record this.

♪ With a fork and a Kn*fe ♪

[BOTH] ♪ And a little piece of toast ♪

Honey, it's a solo.

♪ Breakfast's the meal I love most ♪

[LAUGHTER]

Yay!

Let's sing the "Getting in the Car"
song. Five, six, seven, eight.

♪ Getting in the car ♪
♪ Hit the road ♪

- We'll work on it.
- Yeah.

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ When I can't take it any longer ♪

♪ You make me feel stronger ♪

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ When I can't take it ♪

♪ You make it so much better ♪

♪ We'll do this together ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh, we'll do this together ♪

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ We'll do this together ♪

So, since we all have
classes with Alexa,

we'll take turns bringing her with us.

[ALEXA] I have to say,
I'm not hating this.

I can go online, paint my toenails...

[TOASTER DINGS]

...get my Pop-Tart.

[BELL RINGS]

[WHISTLE BLOWING]

Homeroom announcements.

Ah. Tomorrow, we select
dance committee chairs in the cafeteria.

[CHUCKLES] Now, when I was a freshman,

some lame-o won with Winter Wonderland.

Katie, we should go last and finish big.

[WHISPERS] Class started.

Homeroom isn't a real class. [SCOFFS]

I'm sorry, what was that, Mendoza?

Oh, uh...

No, I was just talking about
our presentation.

Oh, I-I'm sorry. I can't hear you.

- No!
- Could you speak up?

Coach, I love homeroom!

[MUTED]

Nice!

I wish all my students
had a volume button.

Thank you, Leila's mom,

Officer Karimi,

and her partner, Lego!

Foot.

[LAUGHS]

Dave, what are you doing here?

Jack asked me to come for Career Day.
I thought you knew.

Why would he do that?

Well... I'm a pilot.

[DAVE CHUCKLES]

Jack.

Oh, hey, Mom.

Why did you ask Dave to come?

He's a pilot.

Up next, we have Jack's neighbor,

Dave Mendoza.

He's a pilot!

Oh, no, no. Uh...

Well, I am and... it's exciting.

But uh Jack's mom
has a really cool job, too.

Hi, everybody!

[CHUCKLES] Um...

I am the director of human resources

for a big insurance firm!

I-I sit at a desk on
a fun exercise ball,

and I solve people problems.

Ooh, I already have a question. Yes?

Have you ever flown through lightning?

All the time.

Once, we lost power in two engines...

[CHILDREN GASP]

But uh... this is Jack's mom's time.

Uh... An amazing thing about HR...

- How fast does your plane go?
- Have you ever flown upside down?

Can you land on the ocean?

- Yeah, just...
- Well, I-if you're sure.

Yeah. [SIGHS]

I guess I could uh...

Picture it.

You're on the runway.

Five hundred tons of
metal underneath you.

The engine screams,

the wheels lift off the tarmac,

and that big bird
goes hurtling into the sky.

[CHUCKLES]

- Who wants their wings?
- [CHILDREN] Me!

- [BOY] I do! I do!
- That's my neighbor!

How hard can it be to fly a plane?

- [LEGO BARKS]
- Lego gets it.

Reagan, I cannot believe you did that.

How could you just leave me in there?

She's all yours. She had her
lunch but she's still cranky.

She forgot me in the bathroom.

I've seen things.

Don't worry.
I won't put you down for a second.

[KATIE GRUNTS]

Katie, I heard about
your Winter Luau theme.

That's perfect.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Someone has to get last place.

My theme is Enchanted Ice Castle.

It's a winner.

[STAMMERS] M-More like a wiener!

[CHUCKLES]

That did not work.

Was that Gwenny? What's her idea?

Oh, Ice Castle.

[ALEXA LAUGHS]

That's perfect, since
she's the Ice Queen.

[LAUGHS]

[GROANS] Oh, see, I
should have said that.

You should be here.

I can never think on the fly.

What if something goes wrong
when we present tomorrow?

Hey, we'll be fine.

Just don't stick me
under your armpit again.

It's scary in there.

Hey! What's up? It's Breakfast Boy!

Word on the street
is that you ate your eggs good.

I mean, just like you should.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[FEIGNS LAUGHTER]
How do you know about that?

My mom saw it on your mom's Instagram.

[ALEXA] But what am I supposed to do?

The same thing's gonna happen to me.

Alexa, I need to talk to Mom right now!

No, Mom's busy. But let's talk about
what she's been posting.

Adorable!

Thanks, Katie.

OK, OK.

So, try to think of the equation
like a story.

Like, if LeBron scored
twice as many jump

sh*ts as Steph Curry, then how many...

Wait. Who's home court?

And who's guarding him?

Is it giveaway day at the arena?

OK, now you're just trying
to get out of studying.

You are smart.

Speaking of basketball,

I got you this
when I heard you were in the hospital.

Oh. That was nice.

Now you can sh**t hoops from your bed.

- I felt bad you couldn't go to school.
- Don't feel sorry for me.

I don't feel sorry for you.
I just got you a basketball hoop, so...

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

- Hey.
- I stopped by Wired to get us mochas.

And I put your iPad down for, like,
two seconds and now it's gone.

Everything's on that iPad.

You're on that iPad!

Also, I drank two mochas.

OK, calm down. Someone probably
just took it by mistake.

Um... Who's there?

- Sherry, Michael, Todd, Gwenny, Erin...
- Wait, wait! Go back.

[SCOFFS] Oh!

[CHUCKLES] Of course! Classic Todd.

No!

Gwenny!

Oh, yeah, yeah.
She's working on her Ice Castle plans.

She definitely took the iPad.
You have to confront her.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm not...
I'm not historically good at that. Um...

But I am, and this will be great
practice for our presentation.

Put your earbud in, go over to her
and just say exactly what I say.

We're getting that iPad back.

OK. Let's do it!

Let's do it!

- Gwenny.
- What do you want?

Listen to me.

Listen to me.

I know you have my iPad.

I know you have my iPad.

- Alexa...
- Not now, Dylan.

Not now, Dylan!

Dylan?

D-Don't think you can pull one over on

me just because Alexa's not around.

[STAMMERS]
I don't have time for algebra right now!

I think your wig's on too tight.

Return it to me or you'll regret it.

Now, crumple up her paper!

Wait, crumple up her paper? No!

Yes! Do it! No!

Do it!

[GRUNTS]

[BARRY] Did someone lose an iPad?

Oh, no.

[STAMMERS]

You can still use it. Yeah.

Ooh!

There's the Ice Castle!

[GASPS] Here you go.

Also, I had two mochas.

Um...

Apparently with two pumps of crazy.

Katie, what happened?

Yeah, we need more practice. Um...

Bye.

OK, I'm back.

Dylan?

You were amazing in that video.

I put it up because I was proud of you.

People are making fun of me.

Fine. I'll take it down.

But you can't let a few silly kids
make you feel bad about it.

You wouldn't be embarrassed
if that happened?

No, not at all.
You have to learn to laugh at yourself.

[LUCAS FEIGNS LAUGHTER]

Now, take it down.

♪ Thanks, random surfer dude ♪

♪ For turning winter ♪

♪ Into summer ♪

♪ This will be your best
Winter Formal ever ♪

Mahalo!

SPF me, bro!

[CAN HISSING]

Gnarly!

Aloha nui loa!

[LAUGHTER]

[SIGHS] So, what do you guys think?

- That was wonderful!
- So great! Cowabunga, girls!

[LAUGHTER]

You know, at first I didn't see it,
you know?

I actually thought
it was gonna be horrible.

Dave, didn't I say
how bad it was gonna be?

Oh, yeah, yeah. She did not like it
at all. Yeah, she thought it was...

- Yeah, we get it.
- [LORI] That was fun.

You guys are gonna win this thing.

[ALEXA AND DAVE CHUCKLE]

You know, the Winter Formal
has chaperones. You know, I'd be fun...

- You're not coming, Mom.
- [MOUTHS] Thank you.

[LORI HUMMING "THE BREAKFAST SONG"]

♪ Ate my eggs ♪

♪ Ate them good ♪

♪ Ate my eggs just like I should ♪

♪ With a fork and a Kn*fe
And a little bit of toast ♪

♪ Breakfast's the meal I love most ♪

Oh, yeah. Bye, babe.

Bye, Mom!

Yes!

And posted.

[CHUCKLES]

[HUMMING "THE BREAKFAST SONG"]

Thank you so much
for giving me another sh*t.

It seemed really important to you.

Hi, everyone!

I'm back!

[JENNIFER CHUCKLES]

I don't think you guys got to see
the cool, fun side of human resources.

Oh, boy.

HR is a people job.

For example, if there's a problem
at work between two people,

I help them work it out.

So you're like a referee?

Exactly!

Yes!

Why don't you guys share some issues

that come up for you at school,
and I'll show you how I resolve them?

Come on! Doesn't anything happen
that makes you mad?

Becca always cuts me in line.

Great! Let's start with that.

Justine farts on my food during lunch!

You chew with your mouth open!

- [CHILDREN YELLING]
- Class, please!

Recess is way too short!

I don't cheat at dodgeball!

You move your lips
when you read to yourself!

Everyone, sit!

Heather, put those scissors down!

And that is what HR is all about.

[YELLING CONTINUES]

You've got this, right?

OK, bye!

Sorry!

[TEACHER] Come on, pay attention to me!

[BELL RINGS]

Oh, Alexa has to go to bio.

OK. See you at lunch.

- We're gonna crush it, bro!
- Yeah, we are!

Boom!

We just have to make a quick pit stop
to the bathroom.

Oh, no. Not the bathroom!

- Reagan, can you take her to class?
- I'm not going that way.

Oh, hey, Vanessa.
You're going to bio, right?

Uh... Oh, it's you.
No, I don't have bio.

No, no, no. Vanessa, wait.

Hold on. Uh... Excuse me?

- Yeah, hi. That's not the way to bio.
- Oh, hey!

Hello? Hi! Hey, Jennie. It's me, Alexa.

- I need to get to bio...
- Oh, hey, Alexa!

What are you doing?
Well, actually, see you.

Wait! Stop! Hello? Where am I?

What? No! Stop! Wait! Hello?

- [GASPS]
- [LAUGHS]

Gwenny!

Oh, Alexa!

What a fun turn of events.

Yeah. Um...

So, I really need to get to bio, so
can you just help me out, you know?

Wait. What... W-What are you doing?

No! No, no, no! No, Gwenny!

Gwenny, stop! The contest!

[GROANS]

Too much Gwenny!

Help!

[YELLS] Mom!

I'm trapped in a locker!

I'm stuck under a car?

I don't always know how to talk to you.

No. You have to drive me to school.
I really want to win this thing.

Honey, you know the doctor said
you cannot leave the house.

That school is a cesspool of bacteria...

with some very fine teachers.

Why do you have to be such a good mom?

[TYPING]

Don't even think about it.

[ALEXA GASPS]

[SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES]

[GROANS]

How many of you are there?

As many as it takes.

Oh, you made it! OK, where's Alexa?

All I know is you told me to take her
to bio... and I did not do that.

Um... Do you remember
the last time you saw her?

She was on the iPad.

She looked good.

[WHISTLE BLOWING]

OK, people.

It's time for our
Winter Formal Competition.

And, remember, if anyone gets glitter
on me, they're disqualified.

First up,
Gwenny Thompson and Nelly Nozzawitz.

Nelly!

[ALEXA] Hello!

Anyone in this hallway? No one?

Really? No one skipped a class?

[ALEXA GROANS]

And if you vote for me,

you will all be guests
in my winter fantasy.

I will be available for pictures
throughout the evening.

[CHUCKLES] Thank you.

You got snow in my eyes, Nelly!

[GWENNY LAUGHS]

I'm talking bottomless cocoa,

tunes in the lodge,

party all night!

Nailed it!

[MOUTHS] Thank you.

Last up, Katie Cooper and Alexa Mendoza.

Where's Alexa?

[GROANS] Does anyone answer their phone?

[SIGHS] I've tried everyone.

Well, it's...
it's another winter in Wellard,

and it's too cold to have any fun.

[AS SURFER DUDE]
Hey, frozen Wellard teens!

Whoa! [STAMMERS]

I-It's a... It's a beach paradise!

[GRUNTS]

I'm transformed!

[GRUNTS]

I'm transfor...

OK, th-there's a grass skirt under here,

I swear.

Thirteen, 27, 44.

- How do you have Gwenny's combination?

- No time! Get me to the cafeteria!

Got it. Oh, Alexa,
while I have you here,

there's something I wanted to ask.

Run! Run! Run!

You run like a math tutor.

I also throw iPads in the garbage
like a math tutor.

Mahalo!

[AS SURFER DUDE] SPF me, bro!

- [CAN HISSING]
- Ow!

[KATIE] Oh!

Oh! Whoa!

Take me to Katie!

[KATIE GROANS]

[ALEXA CHUCKLES] So uh... pick
Alexa and Katie as your co-chairs

if you want a Winter Formal
you'll never forget.

Alexa?

[WHISPERS] It's me. Let's finish
this and get the heck out of here.

Oh, OK.

[BOTH] Aloha nui loa!

Left. Left.

The sign! That's a sign! A sign!

[ALEXA GROANS]

You're fine. Good. You're fine.

Yeah, you're good.

Wow. That was weird.

[GROANS] I just, I really wanted
our Winter Luau to win.

I know. Me, too.

- Sorry I blew it.
- You didn't.

- Really?
- No, we both blew it.

Once I had to stay home it was a long
sh*t, but... I like that we tried.

Yeah, me, too.

And I'd rather fail with you
than win with anyone else.

Good news!

We won?

[CHUCKLES] Oh.

No. Suzie Applebaum did
with "Winter Wonderland."

Are you kidding me?

Do not tell my mother!

[ALEXA SIGHS]

We were ahead of our time.

So, wait, what was the good news?

Gwenny Thompson lost and got detention
for tackling Nelly Nozzawitz!

Whoo!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

I've heard the four of you
have been tardy to class all day.

[TALKING OVER ONE ANOTHER]

Yeah, yeah. I'll make it easy.
You all have detention after school.

I enjoyed your presentation, Hoops.

You thought it was good?

Oh, God, no. But I really enjoyed it.

♪ Stir the pot like a boss ♪

♪ I love marinara sauce ♪

[CHUCKLES]

There's your solo.

Can I hang out over here?

I guess that's a yes.

Mom talked to my class again.

- How did it go?
- Not good. There was some biting.

OK.

I wish she had a cool job like yours.

Are you kidding me?
Your mom has one of the coolest jobs.

She doesn't get hit by lightning.

No.

But if a person
did get struck by lightning at work,

they would have to talk to your mom.

So she talks to cool people?

No.

Cool people talk to her.

And that's not her only job.

She's a mom, a chef,

a chauffeur, a personal shopper.

She's in charge of everything.

Wow.

She's like the president of your family.

[KNOCKING]

There you are.

About this afternoon,
I just wanted to say...

Thank you.

For what?

Everything.

Wow.

I don't know what this is about,
but I will take it.

[JENNIFER CHUCKLES]

Another perfect landing.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Mom!

[DOOR SLAMS]

Hey, babe.

All of your friends
love the video of you I posted.

What's wrong with them?

Yeah, I've been getting texts
all afternoon.

Honey, that was so sweet of you.

I think everybody's jealous
that I'm so close to my boy.

Mwah!

It's supposed to be embarrassing!

Not at all!
I was thinking we could do one together.

No.

♪ I love Lucas, he's my boy ♪

♪ He's our little pride and joy ♪

[LORI LAUGHS]

♪ With his decked-out hair ♪

♪ And his cool, skinny jeans ♪

♪ Mom and Dad made one cool teen ♪

- Yeah!
- What? What?

Lucas, we love you. We love you.

Mommy and Daddy love you!

All day, Lucas!

- Always be my baby boy.
- Always!

- Always!
- Mwah!

Posted!

No.

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ We'll do this together ♪