01x10 - Thanksgiving

[bunniefuu]

[ALEXA] For the past six months,
everyone had been taking care of me,

so Thanksgiving was my
chance to thank them...

by cooking dinner all by myself.

Which, of course, includes Katie.

Happy Thanksgiving, Tom.

Dinner is gonna be perfect.

I know he doesn't have a head,
but I think he heard me.

Hm.

OK, let's do this, Tom.

That's his butt.

I think he still heard me.

My schedule is going perfectly.

Dinner is at four o'clock, sharp.

Hey, any time on your schedule

to finally answer my question
about why you said no to Dylan?

Hm. Let's see.

"Green beans, pumpkin pie, stuffing."

No "Dylan." Sorry.

Hey, I respect your privacy,

but Tom needs answers.

OK, Tom. I'll say it just this once.

Dylan only asked me to the dance
because he feels sorry for me.

- I don't think...
- This is a private conversation, Katie.

Hey, guys.

You're up early.

I went to get coffee.

Oh, another coffee in the trash.

Looks like another fail with the new
barista who's way too cool for you.

Th-The who? The what?

I don't know what you're talking about.

You really think she's too cool for me?

[STAMMERS] Of course not!

But also yes.

What happened?

I ordered my drink and
she gave it to me.

And then she said, "Next."

She's horrible!

Whoa! Katie, your hair's
really coming in.

Looks good.

Thanks!

- I'll never be too cool, just FYI.
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]

Ooh, my dad's on his way!
I can't wait. It's been so long.

[SIGHS] I wonder what he'll think of me.

Ah, what am I saying?
He'll be so impressed.

I mean, I'm making Thanksgiving dinner!

Are you?

Oh, yes, I am.
Peel, peel, and now I have to go.

But I'll be back
to help you do this all by yourself.

All right, are we ready
to do this thing?

Nope. You said you would let me
do all the cooking.

Oh. I thought "me" meant "we."

I want to make sure
you're not taking on too much, honey.

Right.

Not because you hate the idea of someone

else cooking Thanksgiving dinner?

No! No!

Don't be ridiculous. No. Here.

Thanks.

- Mom, you have to let go.
- I-I want to, I just don't want to.

I'm trying to do a nice thing
for everybody.

[SIGHS] And that's so
sweet of you and...

you are so strong!

J-Just let go!

OK, fine!

Fine.

I'm just gonna let you know
that when Grandma gets here

she's gonna come in and try to
tell you how to do everything.

One year, I had her
wallpaper the bathroom

just to keep her out of the kitchen.

Yeah, Grandma and I aren't like that.

OK. Just let me know
if you need anything.

Do you need anything?

I've got this.

- [CAR DOOR CLOSES]
- All right. Oh, that's your dad.

He went back to the store
to get a few extra things.

- Fine. All right.
- Yeah.

- Dad?
- Yeah?

Dad, you know
there are only ten of us, right?

Right, ten of us.

Well, and a week of leftovers.

Leftovers don't just happen.

How do you not know...

How does she not know that?

- I always triple the recipes.
- Triple?

You know how your dad is
about Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving!

Wow.

- I'll go get the rest.
- The rest?

[ALEXA SIGHS]

OK. I'll just multiply by three
and push back dinner 30 minutes.

Dinner is now at 4:30.

[DAVE] Four-thirty?

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ When I can't take it any longer ♪

♪ You make me feel stronger ♪

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ When I can't take it ♪

♪ You make it so much better ♪

♪ We'll do this together ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh, we'll do this together ♪

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ We'll do this together ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

Dad's life is so exciting.

Last month he was in the Congo,
saving elephants,

and now he's in Mexico,
saving leatherback turtles.

Well, I saved that hamster
from behind the dryer.

I'm more of a quiet hero.

So much has happened
over the last two years.

Our phone calls are so short.

I just can't wait
to have a real conversation with him.

You know,
your dad's not gonna be here that long.

Don't put too much
pressure on the visit.

I gave your brother the same speech.

This is going to be the best visit
with Dad ever!

May not have sunk in.

Dad always brings a surprise.
Do you think it will be a snake?

Oh, I bet it's a snake.

- It's got to be a snake!
- It's not going to be a snake.

It better not be a snake.

[KNOCKING]

I'll get it!

[WHIRRING]

That's so cool!

- Ahh!
- Lower bridge!

- Hi, guys!
- Dad!

[ROBBIE GRUNTS]

Wait a minute.

Excuse me, sir, have you seen my son,

Jack? A little squirt, about this big.

It's me! I've grown!

[CLEARS THROAT]

[DEEP VOICE] My voice is getting deeper

and I can fit four fish sticks
in my mouth at once!

Sounds like a challenge to me.

- Hi, Dad!
- Hi, Booger.

[BOTH GRUNT]

Wow, you did shave your head.

Yeah, yeah,
but it's really coming back in.

But Alexa doesn't have any yet,
because of the chemo.

That's rough. You're a
really good friend.

- Can I make a wish?
- Oh, that's not really a th...

My wish came true!
I have two amazing kids!

Poof! Here we are!

- Hey, Jennifer. You look good.
- Thanks. You've really let yourself go.

So, tell me something, short stack, do

you still like really awesome gifts?

The drone, the drone, the drone...

Because I got you...

underwear!

Underwear?

Unless you would rather have the drone?

Oh, yes!

Take it out back.
I'll be out there in a minute.

OK, I've got to get next door.

Cowboys game is about to start.

They've lost every time
I've missed opening kick-off.

Ah, you're the reason
they're having a good year.

Let's just say I'm a
piece of the puzzle.

[KATIE CHUCKLES]

So, what's been going on, Booger?

Oh, uh... Well, school's good.

Uh... Oh, I tried out for basketball.
And I was Juliet!

- I sent you the link last week.
- That's awesome!

I've been so busy,
but I can't wait to check it out.

Oh.

Oh, um, that's OK.
You can watch it on my laptop.

Just like Shakespeare intended.

I can't wait to see it.

Hey, don't you like presents, too?

- You remembered!
- Close your eyes.

[GRUNTS]

Surprise!

Oh!

I-Is that a Barbie Dreamhouse?

Yes! You asked me for one.

Yeah, I-I did, but a while back.

It has an elevator

and...

[FLUSHING]

...a toilet.

Take it easy in there, Ken.

Whoa!

Oh, um...

- Thanks, Dad.
- You're welcome, Booger.

No one really calls me that any more.

I mean, I am in high school now.

Well, you'll always be Booger to me.

I should help Jack with the drone.
I still owe a couple of payments.

- You want to come?
- Oh, maybe later.

I'm helping make Thanksgiving dinner.

Oh, sounds nice.

OK, got the turkey buttered.

How is it going, sweetie?

- You may want to...
- Head chef.

I love how we banter.

OK.

Got enough chairs for everybody.

There's ten of us, right?

Well, 11 if your parents
bring your brother, Corey.

He's not coming, and
he's not my brother.

He's a 50-year-old parrot
who they once took to Europe.

And when your mom
introduced me to your grandparents,

I had to get Corey's approval,
which was a slam dunk.

First thing he said to me was,
"Squawk! Hello, handsome!"

It's the first thing
Corey and I agreed on.

OK, yeah.

[LORI SIGHS]

Um...

- Jen, we've got to move the couch.
- Oh, here, let me... let me help.

[JENNIFER CLEARS THROAT]

[LORI GRUNTS]

Can you get the TV?

Oh, great, you're back!

How is your dad?

He bought me a Barbie Dreamhouse.

Oh, that's...

random.

Yeah. Yeah, but you know what?
Let's just... Let's just do this.

I am here to help.

Ah. Well, we're right on schedule.

Dinner is at five o'clock.

Five o'clock?

[WHISPERS] There were promises made.

Maybe I should go in there.

[KNOCKING]

- Well, that's your mother.
- I am not my mother.

No, your mom's at the door.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Oh, there's my sweet Lucas. You get more
handsome every time I see you.

That seems to be the way it's going.

- Mom, Dad, Happy Thanksgiving.
- Oh, you, too.

I'm only sorry
we weren't allowed to bring Corey.

I always hoped you and your brother
would be closer one day.

Well, we uh live different lives,

and um I've got my work and my family,

and he's a bird.

Oh, and there's Jennifer!

Hey, Loretta, Sam. Cowboys game.

Ah, yes. We know better, Jen.

- We'll hug you at half-time, huh?
- Yep.

And look, there's my
lovely granddaughter!

Hi, Grandma. Hi, Grandpa.

And I know wherever Alexa is,
there's Katie!

Aw!

Be careful with the rosemary.
Nobody wants to eat stems.

Hey, Grandma Loretta.

Wait. No.

They're making you do the cooking?

You should be resting.

Oh, do you think so, Loretta?

Well, I guess Lori could take over.

[SIGHS] Mom, please, OK?

- I could do the green beans.
- Mom, please, OK?

I'm in maintenance now, Grandma.
Feeling good, feeling strong!

Katie and I got this.
Now, everybody out.

[LORETTA] All right.

Barbie Dreamhouse?

- Katie!
- Whoa!

Sorry!

OK, time to get Tom in the oven.
Can you bring me the pan, please?

[GRUNTS] Tom is heavy.

[ALEXA GRUNTS]

Can't he see that I'm
not a kid any more?

Katie! [YELPS]

[KATIE] Oh, I got it!
I got it! Oh, no, no, no!

[ALEXA GROANS]

[KATIE GROANS]

[WHISPERS] OK.

[KATIE YELLS]

- Oh! No, I got it. I got it. I got it.
- Oh, Katie!

[KATIE GROANS]

OK.

Just um... a quick wash

and re-butter and season.

OK, EVERYONE, UPDATE:

dinner's at 5:30.

- I got those little...
- Tell that to my stomach.

[SIGHS]

Um...

Dad?

- Hey.
- Ah!

Didn't mean to scare you.

I'm in the middle
of an intense game of hide-and-seek.

Oh, still uh playing with Jack.

I better be, or I'm just crammed
in the closet like an idiot.

Uh... Well, while I've got you here,
maybe... maybe we could catch up?

Sure.

So, you know about my play.

You know, that was great.
Started out a little bumpy.

Yeah?

Yeah, all the theater kids ignored me
in the beginning.

I know what that feels like.

You do?

Well, some of my co-workers
have been ignoring me.

But maybe it's because
all my co-workers are turtles.

Dad, I was trying to have
a real conversation.

I was just having fun.

Not everything has to
be fun all the time.

Not with that attitude, Booger.

[JACK] Dad, I'm gonna find you!

I cannot let that happen. Got to hide.

Of course you do.

You've always been great at hiding.

[JACK] Ready or not, here I come!

Dad?

Dad?

Oh, I know where you are.

I am really good at this!

You're having a good game.

It's all about the can placement.

- I'll take that.
- Wait!

- [COMMENTATOR] The kick is up...
- Yes, it's good!

OK, go ahead, Loretta.

How's it going, sweetie?

I'm good, Grandma.

OK, I'm just going to check the turkey.

Do you think the oven is warm enough?

It cools down
when people keep opening the oven.

Oh.

Has your mother been in here?

[WHISPERS] She's such a meddler.

You need to tell her
that this is your kitchen.

- How's it going, sweetie?
- Oh, k*lling it! Yeah.

You know, right on schedule for 6:45.

Six forty-five?

I know. And she's using
the grapefruit Kn*fe to cut an apple.

I haven't eaten since Tuesday
to make room for today.

But the main thing is
Alexa's happy and hungry.

- Happy and healthy.
- That's what I said.

Hey, Lucas.

Hey, Grandpa.

- So, girl problems?
- How did you know?

[SAM CHUCKLES]

It's always girl problems.

You feel like talking about it?

She works at Wired.

I get all tongue-tied
when I try to talk to her.

Yesterday, I ordered a la-la-la-latte.

That makes me think of the first time
I saw your grandma.

The most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
She was getting on a bus.

I knew if I didn't do something,
I'd never see her again.

What did you do?

So, I'm standing there like an idiot,

when the door closes
and the driver starts taking off.

So what else could I do?

I threw myself in front of the bus.

Whoa.

- That's insane.
- Oh, yes, it was.

But I got your grandma's phone number.

And a couple of broken ribs.

Best moment of my life.

I tell you, I would have fought an army
for one smile from her.

What's stopping you?

My mom won't let me
have caffeine after two.

We're going for coffee.

But it's 4:15.

Sometimes a man has to step up
and drink caffeine after two, Mom.

OK, let's go.

Oh, no!

- Problem with the turkey?
- No!

No problem. We're...
We're right on track for...

seven o'clock.

[DAVE AND LORI CHUCKLE]

I have had one Tic Tac today. One!

I should go in there.

Just promise me there will be gravy.
I love gravy.

Don't be jealous. I can love you both.

[ALEXA HUMMING]

Gah! Grandma!

Sweetie, did you blanche
the Brussels sprouts?

Oh, you know,
I actually don't need to, Grandma.

But you don't want them to burn.

Oh, I'm just following the recipe.

And I'm following 50
years in the kitchen.

Do I... Do I look like that?

Uh...

Um... Uh...

Oh, God!

- Oh! I should go in there.
- Wait, you're going to cook?

No, I'm going to rescue our daughter.

You know, we're all gonna go for a walk.

That is a good idea. I'm going to stay

here with Alexa and help her cook.

Actually, Mom, you know, I was thinking,

you know, it would give me a great
opportunity to FaceTime with Corey.

Really? Oh, I can't tell you
how happy that makes me!

He's staying with my friend, Rita.

[MOUTHS] Thank you.

[TV BLARES]

We're all going for a walk, Jennifer.

That sounds like a family thing.

- We're all going for a walk, Jennifer!
- OK, let's walk.

Rita, can you put Corey on?

Corey, have I got a surprise for you!

Hi, Corey!

It's me... your sister.

[COREY SQUAWKS]

Hey, Corey.

[COREY] Hello, handsome!

Honey, the house is all yours.

Gravy!

[DOOR CLOSES]

Oh, no! I forgot about the green beans!

[GROANS]

OK.

[CLICKING]

OK.

Stay calm.

Stay calm.

[YELLS] Where have you been?

I'm just realizing I've outgrown my dad.

Katie.

Do you want to talk about it?

- No.
- Good.

Wait. No, not good.

I'm sorry about your dad.
You're awesome.

- His loss.
- Thank you.

- So, talk tonight?
- Mm-hm.

I'm definitely not panicking.

I need help!

W-What can I do?

I-I don't know.

Half the side dishes are overcooked,
the others are undercooked,

the turkey's not even close.

What do you want from me?

OK, OK, OK.

Let's take a big chef breath. Yes.

- [RATTLING]
- Whoa! What is that noise?

Oh, that's the pressure cooker.

We need to concentrate
on getting the stuffing ready.

Are you sure that thing's OK?

No!

Oh...

Why did I think I was ready to do this?

OK. OK. OK.

OK, it's bad.

But the good news -

it can't get any worse.

I blew up Thanksgiving.

I have an idea.

Start scraping.

[ALEXA GROANS]

Oh.

There she is. Isn't she amazing?

OK, then.

Here's your moment, son.

Go jump in front of that bus.

- Yes?
- Hi.

Can I have two la-la-la-la...

iced coffees?

Coming right up.

Uh...

Working on Thanksgiving, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, so, did you know they k*lled
45 million turkeys just for today?

I'm a vegan.

Me, too!

Except for hamburgers.

You want her to like you, right?

I just want to make sure
we're on the same page here.

- Let's just get out of here.
- Hey, we paid. I'd like my coffee.

- Here we go. Thank you, dear.
- Mm-hm.

OK, can we just go now?

OK.

Oh, just one more thing.

Hey! What was that for?

I'm so...

Oh, look what I've done to this shirt.

I... How are we gonna get this... Oh!

Wow. You got really soaked, huh?

Yeah, I did.

I think you can handle the rest.

Cool sneakers.

Thanks.

Hey, any chance I can get your number?

Sure.

"Try again in three years."

She likes me!

- Thanks, Gramps.
- Hey, I've still got some moves.

Whoa.

Uh... You got a little something
right... everywhere.

Yeah.

Uh... I know you've been busy.
Have you had a chance to see your dad?

Uh...

Not really.

I always thought he was so much fun.

I didn't realize that's all he was.

Yeah.

He can be a big kid.

But there is more to him than that.

Like what?

He's brave and he's a risk-taker.

- Reminds me of somebody else I know.
- Who?

Somebody who shaved her head
for her best friend.

Who went out for the basketball team

when she didn't even know how to play.

Who snuck out in the middle of the night
and climbed the town sign.

Wow! I am out of control.

[JENNIFER LAUGHS]

And you get that from your dad.

Try and keep the door open a little.

Not for him, for... for you.

- Thanks, Mom.
- [CHUCKLES]

OK, I'm gonna go take a shower.

[GROANS] I think I have potato
in my belly button.

Well, don't take long. I'm starving.

Lori took us on a two-hour walk.

It felt like a hostage situation.

Except there was singing,

and we saw a deer.

Hm.

[RYAN AS ROMEO] ...grant thou,
lest faith turn to despair.

Dad?

Is that my play?

I'm sitting here watching this poised,
amazing, beautiful young woman...

and I realize that's who you are now.

You were right.

I am good at hiding.

My whole life,
I've been looking for adventure,

but maybe I've also been running away.

You're not setting me up
with another turtle joke, are you?

No. No.

This is real.

It's just when I hear about things
I've missed, like your play,

I feel terrible for not being around,

which, I guess,
makes me not be around more.

And that's so unfair to you.

Yeah, it is.

I'm sorry.

If it's OK with you,
I'd like to work on this - us.

I'd like that.

You know what I hope?

I hope someday I grow up
to be just like you.

Thanks, Dad.

And in the meantime...

you can have my Barbie Dreamhouse.

Wow. Dinner smells good.

- Where are the mashed potatoes?
- Jack!

And the stuffing!

- And the Brussels sprouts.
- And the gravy.

- I don't understand.
- [SAM] Oh, oh!

Dinner is served!

- Finally!
- All right! Whoo!

I could cry.

But I'm too weak
to push the tears out of my eyes.

Well, don't get your hopes up.

I'm sure it's terrific.

And so what it took a little longer?
It gave us all time to chat.

Well, that just looks fantastic!

We haven't taken the lid off, Mom.

I'm trying to create a buzz.

Here goes.

What the heck is that?

I-I mean, what the heck is that?

Y-You made it, so I love it.

Oh!

Oh, look!

I see green stuff

and uh... red stuff.

Ooh.

Hey!

Uh... I see some turkey in there.

I recognize turkey.

Really, nobody has to eat this.

I ate a worm once, so I'll eat anything.

Awesome!

In the Kalahari,
I had to drink my own pee.

I'll switch to red wine.

I really wanted to do this for you guys.

To show how far I've come, you know?

Honey, you being healthy automatically

makes this the best Thanksgiving ever.

- Hear, hear.
- Yes, it does.

Yeah, I guess.

Hey.

No way!

Yes!

I feel hair!

K-Katie, look! Can you see hair?

- Oh, my gosh! I see it!
- I have hair!

Welcome back, guys!

[LORI] Let me see! Let me see!

Honey! Oh, it's beautiful!

[LUCAS] Lex, which side
are you gonna part it on?

Oh, sweetie.

Oh, it's soft, like a peach.
Sorry, I'm hungry.

[SAM LAUGHS]

We're proud of you, kid.

Look, your Uncle Corey's
all excited, too!

- [COREY SQUAWKING]
- Corey, isn't it wonderful?

OK, now I'm ready to eat.

[DAVE] All right.

OK.

Wow.

It's great. [SIGHS]

Thanksgiving!

Really?

It's delicious. What recipe did you use?

Oh, we improvised.

I'd say it's pretty off-the-wall.

[DAVE GASPS]

Gravy!

It was hidden inside!

To hair and gravy.

To hair and gravy!

[LORETTA] There we go.

[ALEXA] It was one of the
oddest toasts ever...

but it summed up the day pretty nicely.

It wasn't the perfect
Thanksgiving, but...

maybe that's what was
so perfect about it.

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ We'll do this together ♪