01x04 - Mary Anne Saves The Day

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Baby-Sitters Club" Aired: July 3, 2020 - October 11, 2021.*
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Five middle-school friends decide to launch their very own babysitting business.
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01x04 - Mary Anne Saves The Day

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[Mary Anne] I'm very aware
that I'm the least cool member

of The Baby-Sitters Club.

Claudia is a style icon.

Kristy totally rocks the normcore look,

and Stacey is so chic,
she's practically French.

Meanwhile...

Make it fashion!

Yep.

Every day, I leave the house looking like
either the world's oldest toddler

or maybe its youngest senior citizen.

I guess I act like one, too,

because other than the BSC,

the majority of my social life involves
an -year-old woman

who's been helping me master
a twisted cable rib stitch.

Look what I got us!

Funky yarn! [laughs]

Oh, how we rage.

Wait, my mom chased an entire
water polo team out of a public pool?

Never again will a bunch
of high school boys

be so afraid of a pregnant woman
and an old lady. [laughs]

She wasn't afraid?

Your mother always spoke her mind,

especially on behalf of those
who can't stand up for themselves.

It's what made her
such a brilliant lawyer.

It doesn't sound like
I'm anything like her.

Why would you say that?

Talking to people I don't know
makes my stomach fall out of my nose.

So does talking to people
I do know sometimes.

I think I'm just bad at talking.

Your mother didn't become
who she was overnight.

Mary Anne,
everyone's waiting for you upstairs.

Oh. Sorry.

-Bye, Mimi.
-Bye.

[phone rings]

Hello, Baby-Sitters Club.

[Mary Anne] I have a recurring bad dream.

I'm in Claudia's room,

and there's a ringing phone
with no caller ID, and--

She wants to talk to you, Mary Anne.

[Mary Anne] This is not a dream.

This is really happening.

Hello.

Mary Anne Spier,
this is Francine Delvecchio.

I work with your dad, and he says
you are an excellent babysitter.

Would you be free to watch my Bailey
for a couple of hours?

I don't--

This isn't Mary Anne Spier?

No, I mean, yes. I'm free.

Oh, that's great.Thanks for helping.

I think.

[mouths] What are you doing?

But the thing is,
I belong to a club of babysitters.

So I'd have to check if any of them--

No, I'm really only interested in you
at the moment,

since I know your dad.

[Mary Anne] 
The other thing I'm afraid of...

Saying no.

What's your address?

Wow.

-Thank you.
-[hangs up phone]

I shouldn't have done that.

Clients aren't supposed
to pick their sitters, Mary Anne.

That goes against the club's
entire mission statement.

I'm sorry.

You don't have to apologize.

Just try to be more assertive.

Stand up for yourself.

Sorry.

You don't have to keep saying
you're sorry.

-Sorry.
-[all] Mary Anne!

You have to learn how to advocate better
for yourself.

Don't be such a pushover.

Do you just want people
to ignore you your whole life?

[Mary Anne] Uh-oh. Here it comes.

[sniffles, crying]

Just leave me alone!

I wish my dad was the kind of dad
that I could talk to when I'm upset,

but he's more of the kind of dad
who has to write things like,

"Leisure time at four p.m."
on the calendar.

This is a Jerusalem artichoke.

Now, it may seem like an exotic ingredient
for a Thanksgiving side dish,

but they were, in fact,
named by the Puritans

in reference to the utopia they hoped
to create in the New World...

[huffs] Sorry...

Uh, just wanted to do a test run
before the big night.

Oh, well, is there something
you'd like to discuss with...

me?

[Mary Anne] I was playing a dangerous 
game, but I couldn't help myself.

[sighs] The whole club thinks
I'm a pathetic crybaby.

[inhales] And I'm really starting
to think they're right

because just look at me.

Of course they think I'm a baby.
I am a baby.

My stupid baby hair
and my stupid baby overalls.

Not to mention my room.

And Kristy called me unprofessional.

Claudia said I was a pushover,
and Stacey...

She treats me like the kid that
her parents told her to hang out with.

They think I'm pathetic.

[sighs] Which I am...

because I can't say anything
without starting to cry.

So the other girls have been
calling you names,

-bullying you?
-No, Dad.

I've told Liz Thomas once,
and I'll tell her again--

Stop!

Pretend I never said anything.

I read somewhere that
women want to express emotions,

and men want to find solutions for them.

As I found out the next day,

Dad's solution made everything worse.

Hey, guys.

Sorry, did you want to sit
with bullies like us?

[Mary Anne] Oh, Dad, what have you done?

I can't believe that
you went home last night

and tattled to your dad
that we were being mean to you.

I didn't.

-Not on purpose.
-Tell that to our parents.

Your dad called them, and now,
thanks to you, we're all grounded.

I'm so, so sorry.

We need some space.

[laughing]

-That is so funny.
-[Mary Anne] The Shillaber twins.

If she's sitting with them,
she must be really mad.

Hi. Can I join you?

Sure.

What's your name?

Mary Anne.

Nice to meet you, Mary Anne.

I'm Dawn. I just moved here from LA.

I know, I wish
the stereotypes weren't true, but...

we do eat differently out there. [laughs]

You don't say much, do you?

What brings you to Stoneybrook?

Good question.

Uh, my parents finally got divorced.

It's no big deal.

My dad is gay, which they both always knew
on some level,

but were trapped in such a cycle
of codependency. You know?

Yeah, totally.

Anyways, my mom grew up here

and felt a spiritual pull
to reconnect to her roots

during the healing process.

But also, she barely knows how
to use a washing machine,

so I didn't want her
to move up here alone.

What about you?

Are you new, too?

No.

-All my friends are dead.
-Hmm.

Kidding!

Oh. [laughs]

They're absent.

You're funny. Dark, but funny. [chuckles]

Wanna hear a joke?

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

You-nique up on it.

Oh. [laughs]

That has to be the worst joke
I've ever heard.

I got it from a Popsicle stick.

I have a whole box at home.

Of Popsicles, not just the sticks.

You could come over if you wanted to,

like, later today,if you want.

Yeah, I'd like to.

[Mary Anne] I couldn't believe how fast
Dawn said yes to hanging out with me.

She must have really been lonely.

But first I had to babysit
for Bailey Delvecchio.

This was the job that destroyed
all my friendships,

but I vowed not to let my personal tragedy
interfere with my ability to do good care.

Pinkies out!

We must show the new Royal Highness how
to comport oneself.

Shouldn't we, my queen?

I'm the Princess, not the Queen.

The Queen wears dresses
that look like boxes.

[laughs] I stand corrected. Now, sip.

-Oops.
-Splendid, Your Highness.

You've given us the perfect reason
to go pick out a new dress.

[both laugh]

Well, these won't do.

Where are your clothes, Princess Bailey?

Those are my old clothes.

Over here are my new clothes!

This one's very, very beautiful.

Ooh! This one's my favorite.

Mommy!

Princess!

You having a good time?

I'm so sorry, were we too loud?

Are you kidding?

I'm just glad
you two are getting along so well.

Mommy, look what Mary Anne showed me.

-[Francine gasps] Wow!
-[Mary Anne] That's when I understood.

Bailey was a little girl,

and her new clothes
helped people see that.

It's like this.
Are you right-handed or left-handed?

Right.

And you've known this
since you were little?

Pretty much.

And if someone tried to make you
do everything with your left hand,

it would be super weird, right?

If I tried to use scissors,
I'd definitely s*ab myself. [laughs]

Well, that's how Bailey feels.

The same way that you know
that you're right-handed,

Bailey knows she's a girl.

And we all want our outsides
to match our inside, right?

Yeah, and it's rad to have parents
and a babysitter who get it.

She's really lucky.

You seem to know a lot about this stuff.

Well, I am from California.

[laughs]

I realized in that moment

that I never made a new friend
without Kristy before

and right in the nick of time,

because if the club meeting the next day
was any sign,

-I may have lost all my friends for good.
-[laughs]

[rings]

Hello, Baby-Sitters Club.

This is President Kristy Thomas speaking.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Delvecchio.

This Sunday?

Nice, a matinee in the city.

I'll see who's available--

Right.

I'm sure she'd be more than happy to.

After all, Mary Anne is the best.

Thank you.

So, special requests for Mary Anne
are standard now?

None of us are allowed to leave the house
this week, remember?

Except for Club meetings.

[Mary Anne] They were still mad at me.

Maybe they deserved to be,

but at least I got to hang out
that weekend with my new friend Dawn.

Sorry, I have to work on
sounding less obsessed.

She invited me to come
with her and her mom

to some kind of all-female cookout
her aunt Esme was hosting.

She is a little on the zany side,

but she throws a great gathering.

As long as you're not bothered
by a little light neo-shamanism.

Oh, sh**t.

-Dawn, did we remember--
-The sage?

You're perfect.

Just a little more left-brained than you,
that's all.

I'm sure that's exactly what you call it
when you talk to your therapist, too.

[laughing]

At last. Our goddesses of honor.

Would it have k*lled you to be on time
for your own welcome ritual?

Hi, Esme.

Your aunt is Morbidda Destiny?

What?

That's what the little girl next door
calls her.

[laughs]
Esme wishes that was her witch name.

-So she is a witch.
-Yes.

More like a spiritual healer.

Ladies, our tarot card reader
has a hard out in minutes.

Come on. Let's do this thing.

Join hands, moon sisters.

Gather around the decorative stump.
[laughs]

As you all know,

there's a new moon in Scorpio this month,

so many of us may be feeling a great deal
of upheaval this week.

So, come forward.

Share in this time of great transition.

The universe is listening.

I want to go first.

Oh! My darling Dawn.

Come!

The talking stick is yours.

I just want to say thanks
to my Aunt Esme...

and to all of you for welcoming us.

Moving across the country is about
as big a change as you can make.

I feel you there.

Last week, 
my ex-husband was trying to tell me--

It's not about you right now, Barb.

But there's great things
about change, too,

like my new friend,
who I brought with me today.

Mary Anne.

Welcome, Mary Anne.

Come, share with us.

[Mary Anne] Oh, no.

Public speaking,
another recurring nightmare.

Go on.

Don't be shy.

Bare your soul. Let us in.

[Mary Anne] Bare my soul? Let them in?

It wasn't that I didn't want to.

[pants] I can't. I'm sorry. Ugh!

[Dawn] Mary Anne!

-Mary Anne!
-Now that is a Scorpio if I ever saw one.

Mary Anne, wait!

What?

I'm sorry, okay?

I'm sorry I'm so shy.
I'm sorry I'm not cool and funny,

and I'm sorry I'm so scared of everyone
and everything, and I'm sorry!

I'm sorry I can't even stop
saying I'm sorry. [whimpers]

Okay.

"Okay"?

Yeah.

I mean, a new moon sharemony
is not everyone's cup of tea.

But...

didn't I embarrass you?

[sighs]
Don't you think I'm a pathetic crybaby

who's constantly making a total fool
of herself?

No, I think you were
understandably freaked out,

but it doesn't really matter what I think.

If you believe you're a pathetic crybaby,

well, who am I to tell you otherwise?

[Mary Anne] 
Sometimes I felt strong and fearless.

Come on.We don't have to go back there.

-We can go sit over there. We can talk.
-[laughing]

[Mary Anne] And other times,

-I felt like a little baby.
-We could play Uno.

I wish I had someone to talk to
about this stuff,

someone who would understand.

I want my mommy.

[Mary Anne] Exactly.

She'll be back in a couple of hours.

We can act out the royal wedding
at least five times before then.

My head hurts.

[Mary Anne] Oh, no.

Bailey was burning up.

Francine, you're probably not picking up

because My Fair Lady has a long first act,
but Bailey has a fever.

It's degrees.
[sighs] I don't know what to do.

Call me back as soon as you get this.

I thought about calling the other members
of The Baby-Sitters Club,

but they were probablystill too mad at me
to answer.

I called my dad,
but he didn't answer, either.

There wasn't anyone else coming
to save the day.

There was only me.

[rings]

-Hello.
-[woman] .

Hi.I have an emergency.

[Mary Anne] I was terrified,

but looking at Bailey's face,
I knew I had to be brave.

Hey.

-[laughing]
-Ready? Fish face.

Okay, took a while, but we finally found
a file for a Bailey Delvecchio.

Is  Burnhill Road
still the current address?

-Yeah.
-Have you been giving him fluids?

If he's dehydrated,
we'll need to place an IV.

Have him change into this.

I don't want the blue one.

Oh, well--

I hear someone's not feeling well.

Let's take a look at the little man.

Can I please talk to you two outside?

I know that you guys are busy.

But as you would see, 
if you looked at her and not her chart,

Bailey is not a boy.

And by treating her like one,
you are completely ignoring who she is.

You're making her feel insignificant
and humiliated.

And that's not gonna help her feel good 
or safe or calm.

So, from here on out,
please recognize her for who she is.

And if at all possible, could you find me
a non-blue hospital gown?

Our apologies.

Mary Anne.

Dad.

Oh, Mary Anne. Thank God for you.

Where's my baby?

Over there.

[Francine] Oh, honey. Oh...

[Mary Anne] Bailey had her parents
to protect her now.

And I had to deal with mine.

[sighs]

Dad, I'm sorry.

I know I should've waited for you to call
back before I went to the hospital.

I didn't mean to make you worry.

I just really wanted to make sure
that Bailey was okay.

Wait.

You think I'm upset with you?

I'm overwhelmed by you.

Hearing you talk to those doctors
that way...

you reminded me so much of your mother.

I did?

Yes.

This may come as a surprise to you, but...

it hasn't been easy...

raising you alone.

Most of the time I feel as though
I have no idea what I'm doing.

But seeing you now,

standing up for that little girl...

I thought to myself, "If she can do that,

then maybe I haven't screwed up
after all."

That maybe your mom would be
a little bit proud of me.

I think she would be.

[sighs] Thank you.

[sighs]

Can I ask you something?

Of course, sweetheart, anything.

Can I change my hair?

I want to feel more confident,

more grown-up...

but it's hard
when I look like such a baby.

Mary Anne, you can do
whatever you want to your hair.

Really?

I always put your hair in braids

because it's the only thing
your mother taught me how to do. [laughs]

Well, what about these clothes?

What about your clothes?

-Kitten overalls?
-Well.

Wheelie bags?

Okay, stop right there.

-A wheeled bag is orthopedically sound.
-[laughs]

If you want to condemn yourself
to a life of chronic middle back pain,

-be my guest.
-[both laugh]

Thank you, Dad.

I'm so proud of you.

[Mary Anne] You can't always tell
from someone's outside

who they are on the inside.

Ice cream?

Definitely.

[Mary Anne] But if you never ask them,
they never get a chance to surprise you.

I went to the BSC meeting on Monday,
braced for conflict.

But speaking of surprises...

Oh, my God, we heard everything!

Your dad called all of our parents again
and told them what happened.

Mary Anne, you're a hero.

Plus, we're ungrounded now.

Your dad said he's glad you're in a club
with other young women

-who are such great influences.
-That's us!

Yeah!

What was it like riding in an ambulance?

I would have had a literal panic att*ck.

Not Mary Anne.

-Fearless under pressure.
-[laughing]

You made the whole club look awesome, too.

Right, Kristy?

Yeah. She did.

We have to celebrate.
There are gummy worms in the chair,

and for those of you who prefer
non-gelatin-based candy,

M&Ms.

Sorry for being such a jerk to you
in the cafeteria.

To make up for it,

I made a playlist called
"Mary Anne Is Boss" because you are.

-♪ Mary Anne, Mary Anne, Mary Anne... ♪
-[laughing]

So...

can we be friends again, too?

Yeah, as long as your new best friend
doesn't mind.

Oh, Kristy.

Don't be such a baby.

[laughs]

[Mary Anne] 
I don't really believe in Morbidda...

I mean, Aunt Esme's "moon of the Scorpio"
type stuff,

but there certainly have been a lot
of changes this month.

A fantastic new friend...

and some new, shall we say, swagger.

♪ Mary Anne, Mary Anne
Mary Anne, Mary Anne... ♪

I felt my outside was finally starting
to match my inside:

grown-up and sparkly.

My dad even let me invite Dawn and her mom
for family Thanksgiving...

You look terrific.

...without stalking them online
and asking for Social Security numbers.

A small step for man,
a giant leap for my dad.

[doorbell rings]

[laughs]

Hi, you're here!

Hi, oh, my gosh!

You look amazing.

[laughing]

[both] Snail!

Dad, this is my friend Dawn and her mom.

Sharon.

Richard.

[laughs]

Do you guys know each other?

-A long time ago.
-We went to high school together.

They dated. In a big way.

Hope you're not the kind of family
who doesn't do stuffing.

[Richard laughs] Well.

Aunt Esme hasn't changed a bit.

-Nope.
-[Richard] Yeah.

-Well, please come in.
-Thank you.

[Mary Anne] I knew this Thanksgiving
was gonna be special.

-[both] Oh, my gosh.
-But I had no idea

-that it would be this special.
-[both gasp]

♪ Mary Anne, Mary Anne
Mary Anne, Mary Anne... ♪

♪ You know you got me feeling cool ♪

♪ Like summer dew, I wake with you
Mary Anne, Mary Anne ♪

♪ You go north
And I get down, down, down, down ♪

♪ You are only ten-day deep ♪

♪ But now I'm back
And you're not around ♪

♪ I get down, down, down, down
Down, down ♪

♪ Mary Anne, Mary Anne
Mary Anne, Mary Anne ♪

♪ You know you got me feeling cool ♪

♪ Like summer dew, I wake with you
Mary Anne, Mary Anne ♪
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