01x05 - Dawn and the Impossible Three

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Baby-Sitters Club" Aired: July 3, 2020 - October 11, 2021.*
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Five middle-school friends decide to launch their very own babysitting business.
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01x05 - Dawn and the Impossible Three

Post by bunniefuu »

[rock music playing]

♪ I'm driving through a long day ♪

♪ Singing every song I know... ♪

[Dawn] Normal moms are supposed 
to wait up for their daughters

when they're out on first dates.

Normal moms also sometimes unpack boxes

within the calendar year of moving
across the country to a new town.

My mom is anything but normal.

[man and woman chattering and laughing]

♪ You make me wanna shake, shake
Shake, shake, shake, shake,shake ♪

♪ And shout it... ♪

[chattering and laughing continue]

-[woman] That was fantastic.
-Thank you.

♪ When the world gets down
All the love I've found ♪

♪ You make me wanna shake, shake
Shake, shake, shake, shake,shake ♪

♪ And shout it, ooh-ooh-ooh!
I wanna shake ♪

[woman] Hey, babe.

Hey, how was it?

Oh, he was so nice.

Were you cooking? [sniffs]
Smells delicious.

Let me.

Okay.

[sighs]

[yawns, groans]

[sighs]

[Dawn] I'm so excited.

I know! Long-lost high school sweethearts,
reunited.

It's like Romeo and Juliet,

but if Romeo grew up,
then went to law school

and then reconnected with Juliet
in middle age.

Do you think we'll have
matching bridesmaids' dresses?

Maybe, but I was actually talking
about this meeting of the Club.

Oh, right.

It means a lot that you're bringing me.

It'll be so nice to feel like a part
of something again.

Are you sure it's okay with Kristy?

I didn't tell her.

Oh, but, Mary Anne!

It's perfect timing. It's a new year.

Everyone's back from vacation.

Act first, then ask for forgiveness later.

But you know how weird she is around me.

She's gonna flip,

and then I'll never be able
to join the BSC.

She just needs to get to know you.

That's how she is.

You'll see.

As president,
all guests should be run by me.

It's in the bylaws.

[chuckles] We have bylaws now?

Yes, in the Club constitution
I wrote over break.

Do you ever check your email?

I brought Dawn with me today
because she's a great friend

and a great babysitter.

Things were quiet over the holidays,
but now our clients are back.

We're gonna need another sitter,
or else we'll get overstretched.

Well, as the last new girl in town,
I'm thrilled Dawn is here.

And about those bylaws,

anything about kicking jobs
to members who spent

way too much on holiday gifts/
new riding boots?

Second that. I have a roll of handmade
washi paper being held at d*ck Blick.

Oh, speaking of shopping,

I have some news.

My dad is finally letting me
redo my room a little bit.

Yes! New year, new you.

Nothing major.

I have some babysitting money saved,

so he said I could buy
a couple new things.

Some new pillows, maybe,

a cool new lamp?

Hot. Let's browse.

Okay, I'll pull up my Pinterest.

I still have some boards saved
from when I moved,

-sorted by color story.
-[laughs]

Navy blue is nice.

And it hides the dirt.

How about a theme?
Something personal that you love?

-Oh, yeah.
-Broadway musicals.

Or textiles.

What, like yarn?

[phone rings]

Thank God.

Hello, Baby-Sitters Club.

Hi, Natalie.

Mm-hmm. Okay, I'll check.

Remember how I said I needed a job?

Can I take the next one instead?

Yeah, I'm broke,
but not "sit for the Barretts" broke.

What's wrong with the Barretts?

The three kids are out of control,

and the mom is in a recently divorced
wrecking ball phase.

That's kind of reductive.

Excuse me.

I mean, newly divorced?
A mom of three kids?

Of course she's feeling overwhelmed.

Then why don't you take the job?

Does that mean I'm in the Club?

Possibly, on a probationary basis.

We'll see how she does...

and then we'll make a final decision.

So if she's great, which she will be,
she's in?

And if she tanks,

Natalie loses our number forever.

It's a win-win.

Good luck
and don't say you weren't warned.

[Stacey] Hi, Natalie.

[Dawn] Kristy wasn't gonna intimidate me.

I'm chill, but I don't back down
from a challenge.

Plus, if anyone knew how to deal
with a disorganized mom,

let's just say I learned from the master.

Ooh, I am feeling the spirit of a polenta
with the body of a risotto.

Mom, every time you talk about a spirit 
of a dish,

-we don't eat until ten o'clock.
-Aww, here. Have a purse snack.

[hums]

Excuse me, I'm looking
for the amaranth, and I--

[gasps] Mr. Thompson?

Little Sharon, is that you?

[Dawn]
This happens everywhere in Stoneybrook.

It's like she never left.

Me on the other hand,

I'm still waiting for the universe
to give me a sign that I belong here.

[gasps] Hi!

-Long time no see.
-[both laugh]

What are you doing here?

Shopping for dinner.

Oh. Us, too.

-[Dawn] Hi.
-Hi.

Richie! Hi.

Sharon. You're here, where I am.

At the store, the shopping store.

We're shopping for food for dinner.

Would you want to join us
for dinner tonight?

We'd love to.

They don't have any amaranth.

No amaranth? [scoffs]

What do they expect us to do, starve?
[laughs]

-Like, hello!
-[laughs]

"Attention, shoppers.

Stop looking for amaranth.
It doesn't exist." Right?

[laughing]

Right? I know.

[Dawn] Two things.

One, adults flirt
by talking about ancient grains.

And two, the universe may have wiretapped
my inner monologue.

-[silverware clatters]
-[Richard] Mm.

That was delicious.

And I don't think I've ever dated a man

that has such an extensive
apron collection.

Oh, well, if you found that impressive,
you're going to love my...

chef's coats.

-[cell phone chimes]
-Mary Anne, no phones at the table.

Oh, it's mine, actually. Hang on.

-Different families, different rules.
-Hmm.

Hmm. Claudia.
"More plans for Mary Anne's room."

And she sent some mood boards.

Mood boards. For your room.

You said I could change some things,
remember?

It's such a fun project for the girls,

and I'd be happy to help.

I have an attic full of stuff
I would love to find a new home for.

Hmm. Just don't go overboard.

Sharon, may I offer you some coffee?

-Oh, let me help.
-Oh.

Oh, and, girls, pick up the dishes.

He's sane!

-It's a miracle. 
-[both laugh]

Is this what having normal parents
is like?

[laughs]

[Dawn] It sure felt that way.

The next day at the Barretts,

I was totally unprepared
for what I was walking into.

[shrieking]

The floor is lava!

-Ugh. Lava.
-I'm safe. I'm on the chair.

[crying]

[laughs] I'm Dawn. Is your mom here?

I don't know.

[woman] Does this look read,

"Executive using a travel website
to book a last-minute getaway"?

Um, sure, I think?

Oh, great. 'Cause I have an audition
and I was worried

it was a little bit too "My ex has a jet."

Ugh! I wish.
Anyway, thank you so much, Dana.

-Oh, my baby's crying.
-Oh, it's Dawn, actually.

Oh, I know why. Uh-oh.

Someone needs a diaper change.
Here you go.

Um, is there anything I should know?

-Any house rules?
-Oh, I'm already late.

You're gonna do amazing.
I can already tell. [laughs]

[blows kisses]

Dawn, you're in lava!

Oh, right. Um... uh...

Maybe Kristy had a point.

Natalie was a little all over the place.

But my membership in the BSC was at stake.

If I could help this family,
I'd almost be getting one of my own.

-"He was missing his baseball hat,
-[gasps]

but he kept walking along."

-Dawn, how?
-I don't know that one.

I mean, how?

A little elbow grease.

The kids helped.

Wow. I'm very impressed.

[Dawn] She was so impressed,
she asked me back the next day.

-[shouts, grunting]
-And the next.

And the next.

-Put the scissors down!
-[laughing]

Dawn, can you find Buddy's sword?

Do you think I should grow out my bangs?

Sure, yeah.

Maybe I should get a perm.

[Dawn]
So, yeah, Natalie was a little forgetful.

So forgetful, she apparently forgot 
to come home that night.

Oh, no, you can't just take the kids
'cause your mother's in town.

Well, where was your mother last weekend
when I needed you to take the kids, huh?

Where was she then? Oh, no--

-Natalie, I have to go.
-Hi.

[girl] Mommy, can I have some water?

Oh, no, you're pathetic.

-Your check came one week late this month.
-[Dawn sighs]

And what does that really say
about you as a dad, hmm?

[snores lightly]

[Claudia] So, acid yellow or dove gray?

Dawn. Dawn!

[grunts] Huh? I'm fine, I just dozed off.

You fell asleep in biology class today.
Mrs. Fairmont definitely noticed.

It's just...

[sighs] The Barretts.

Knew it.

It's not your fault.

They're impossible.

Natalie leaves the house
looking like an earthquake hit it.

I mean, 
I started straightening up to help,

but now she expects it,

and she's bad about coming back on time,

and the kids have no discipline.

Sounds horrible.

It'll be okay, you know? I'll just...

have some sleep, and...

I'll be fine.

[Claudia] Cancel. Now.

Seriously, Dawn.
You can't keep living like this,

falling asleep in corners
and during frog dissections.

[Dawn] But the kids need me.

Bailing on them with everything going on

would just make everything worse.

And I'm still on probation, right?

Maybe you can talk to Natalie.

Discuss what's okay and what's not
to ask of a babysitter.

Or maybe the family just needs
someone a little more experienced,

someone who can set boundaries.

[Dawn] Of course! That was the answer.

Allow the divine spark in myself

to recognize the divine spark
within Kristy Thomas.

Namaste her into submission.

Kristy, you know how much I want
to join the club.

I don't want to fail these kids.

You are the most experienced sitter
I know.

What if you came over to my house tomorrow

and gave me some tips?

[doorbell rings]

-Hi!
-Hi! Kristy! Oh, come here. [grunts]

So nice to meet you.

-Welcome to the neighborhood.
-[gasps, laughs]

-Here you go. I'm Liz Thomas.
-Thank you.

Nice to meet you. Sharon Porter.

I've been meaning to stop by
and say hello.

I actually tried to get this listing
for months.

Oh, well, come in.

The house was empty for quite a while.

My parents have a lot of property
that we don't know what to do with.

I had no idea.

Sorry, my mom networks
like most people breathe.

How about you give me a tour?

Oh, I would love to. Come down, come down.

Oh, Kristy, Dawn's upstairs.
Shut the door, will you?

So down here, I'm going to brew
my own kombucha.

[Liz] Kombucha!

[Sharon] For adults only.

What temperature is officially a fever?

. Fahrenheit under the tongue,

and . Fahrenheit in the behind.

Right, and what makes the perfect crust
on a grilled cheese?

A hot pan?

Mayonnaise or Nayonaise if you must,

but always ask the client if they're okay
with you using the stove.

And about any food allergies.

You never know,
and a parent may forget to tell you.

I mean, it's a small town,
so there's not a ton of options,

but Watson, my fiancé,
does have a few decent friends,

and they're not all bald.

-[both laugh]
-Well, actually, I'm seeing someone.

-Oh!
-Or seeing again, that is.

We knew each other in high school.

We're taking it slow, but...

Sounds romantic.

Would I know who this person is?

-Richard Spier.
-[exclaims]

[whistling]

What is that?

That's just Kristy, I'm sure.

Richard, huh?

-Yeah, you know him?
-I do.

-[laughing]
-I do.

I'm sorry. He's not quite...

the person that I would picture you with.
Do you know what I mean?

Oh, what makes you say that?

Uh, he means well.

You just seem so lovely and free,

and he just tucks that shirt in so tight.

-You know what I'm saying?
-He does.

But, you know, he's been through a lot,

and actually,
he's really easygoing and sweet.

-Aww.
-Just like when we were kids, so...

Well, I'm glad to hear he's coming out
of his shell.

-[whistling]
-All right!

-God!
-[yawns]

[continues whistling]

The whistle shocked him enough
to drop the baguette.

You have to get them calm so they can
tell you what's really the matter.

David Michael wasn't really upset
that the cheese was too yellow.

He felt ignored,
so he wielded bread as his w*apon.

Totally.

How do you whistle like that?

It's a family secret.

Oh, come on.

Okay, fine,
so you put your hand like this,

and then you... tightly behind your teeth.

[cell phone ringing]

[chuckles] Sorry, my dad always 
Facetimes me around this time.

-Like, every day?
-Almost.

We try and catch up more on the weekends.

Hi, Daddy.

Hey, baby! Say hi to Gus!

She was about to say hi.

Hi, Gus. What are you guys making?

[dad] Frittatas with pea sh**t.

Are you being insane
about the size of the chopped vegetables?

Um, I should go.

Oh, wait. Daddy, can I call you back?

No, it's fine. Talk to your dad.

[Dawn] Maybe taking a call
was against babysitting protocol,

but it wasn't the only one
she pulled a disappearing act on.

I don't know.

She booked it out of my house like
I told her I had leprosy or something.

Maybe she didn't feel good.

Yeah.

You know what would really pop?
A statement wall.

But the wallpaper border,
we can't just paint over that.

Well, it's starting to peel
in the corner over here.

Let's see. [grunts]

-Ahh!
-[laughing]

[Sharon] Here.

Get up here.

[Claudia] Oh, my God.

-[Sharon] There we go!
-[laughing]

-What's going on?
-[gasps] Richie! There you are.

We're trying to see
if we can paint over the border.

By ripping paper
off the walls of my house?

Dad, it was already peeling.

I just wanted to make sure
that it wouldn't pull off the plaster.

My daughter and I talked about pillows
and a lamp.

[sighs]

Richard, I just thought it'd be fun
for us all to have a little, you know,

girls' time in here

-and paint it bright colors--
-You should go.

All of you.

Well, maybe if we just talk about this--

I'm sorry, I think it's just too late.

Uh, girls.

Let's go.

Come on, sweetie.

[exhales]

[Dawn] My mom didn't say another word
for the rest of the night.

[Natalie sobbing] I'm so sorry.

I know it hasn't been easy. [sniffles]

But if you could see inside my heart,

you would see...

Oh, sh**t. Line!

"You would see how much
I need this kidney, Dr. Blatchton."

Why do I keep tripping on that line?

-Can I go play with David Michael?
-You're grounded for flooding my bathroom.

I was being Aquaman!

Natalie, um... 
I've been meaning to talk to you.

He's just like his father.

He wants what he wants when he wants it.

Yeah, but--

So you give it
and then you give up on yourself.

And then one day you're alone,
starting over,

one yogurt commercial audition at a time.

But I have to make it work.

I have to prove to my kids
that I can make something of myself.

Of course you do.

Dawn. [sniffles, sighs]

You're the best.

I'll be back after
my cryogenic freeze facial.

Wait, I thought you had an audition.

Monday. I have to look my best.

Toodle-oo!

[sighs]

Hey, Buddy.

Want to have a "Great British Snack Off"?

Buddy!

Buddy?

Bu--

Buddy!

Buddy!

Okay. Okay.
He wanted to play with David Michael,

[panting] so he must have gone there.

I knew calling Kristy meant
I would never be in The Baby-Sitters Club,

but finding Buddy was more important.

[rings]

Speaking.

-Is Buddy Barrett at your house?
-Aren't you watching him?

He left the back door open,
and he's not here.

And he said he wanted to go to your house.

I'm on my way.

Hi, uh, this is Kristy.

Dawn and I were sitting for Buddy Barrett.

-Buddy, he's gone and...
-[Dawn] Natalie's phone was off,

and naturally, she left no other numbers.

So Kristy found the school directory

and called everywhere
she thought Buddy could be.

Nobody'd seen him.

I was afraid he had run away
or been taken.

So Kristy called the cops,
and I called my mom.

-They're gonna find him, baby.
-[whimpers]

-What if they don't?
-They will.

[kisses]

[man] Hello.

What's going on?

Sir, I need you to identify yourself.

-Okay.
-Daddy! I love you!

[dad] I love you, too, munchkin.

Dawn, you should have seen me today
at swim class.

-I held my breath for one whole lap.
-[exhales]

Officers, I'm Hamilton Barrett.
I'm Buddy's father.

I picked Buddy up a couple hours ago
for swimming lessons, like I always do.

Didn't Natalie tell you about that?

What?

No. She must have--

Forgotten. Yeah.

Of course. It's not surprising.

Buddy was outside.
I thought he was waiting for me.

She does that sometimes,
so we don't have to see each other.

I didn't know she had a sitter today.
I'm so sorry.

-You must have had quite a scare.
-[baby wailing]

That's Marnie, I'll--

[Hamilton] No, I'll grab her.

Sir, we just have a few more questions,

and we should probably
talk to your ex-wife.

Of course, whatever you need.

All right, I'll be right back.

All right, let's go check on your sister.

[Suzi and Buddy] Check on my sister.

Can you believe this?

Natalie not telling me about Buddy's dad
taking him swimming?

So I was supposed to hand over a kid
to a strange man,

while she's off having her face frozen off
or something?

[Sharon] Girls!

-Are you okay?
-Yeah.

[Dawn] I didn't know what was wrong.

And then,

I remembered something a very wise,
very experienced babysitter told me.

[shouts]

I'm-- I'm sorry.

I wanted you to calm down
and tell me what was wrong.

[stammers]
Like David Michael and the bread.

[Dawn sighs]

[laughs] His dad.

He was with his dad all the time.

Everyone's dad is just so desperate
to hang out with them.

Mr. Barrett takes Buddy to swimming.

Mary Anne's dad wants her home with him
every second of every day,

and your dad Facetimes you constantly,
but my dad...

My dad left me.

I don't know where he is.

[sighs]
He hasn't called me in a year and a half.

[exhales]

[sobbing]

[Dawn]
Behind every tantrum is something else.

Kristy, look at me.

You have many, many people
who want to be in your life.

Your mom and your brothers,

the Club, Mary Anne.

My mom has Watson.

My brothers have each other.

Mary Anne has you.

That doesn't mean she loves you any less.

She's still your friend.

So am I.

But...

I've been so mean to you. [sniffles]

It's okay.

We're both strong women
with big personalities.

[laughs]

And you can't just let anyone
into the BSC.

I think I should probably let you in.

No more probation?

You'll need a title.

Alternate officer.
It means you'll do it all.

Because you can.

You are kind of alternative,

in a ' s sense.

I should probably clean this up.

Oh, Natalie won't even notice.

[laughing]

Thank you.

You're welcome.

[sighs]

[Dawn] We don't have a choice
in who our parents are.

-You get who you get.
-[knock on door]

Hey. It's time for dinner.

Go away.

[Dawn] If you're lucky enough
to have them at all.

There are no bylaws of being a mom or dad.

No rules.

No written constitution
you can read over winter break.

[shudders]

-Try the eggplant. It sings.
-Hmm.

-[cell phone ringing]
-[groans]

"Natalie Barrett." Oh, no.

This is Dawn's phone. This is her mother.

Mom.

I'm sorry, Dawn cannot come to the phone
right now.

She's a kid who has her own life to live.

Sort out yours and then
you can apologize to my daughter.

I could have told her that myself.

I know, baby, but I'm your mom,

and once in a while,
I want to take care of you.

[Dawn] Parents are just older weirdos
doing the best they can.

Now try the eggplant.

[Dawn] Just like the rest of us.

Okay.

[both laughing] Three, two, one.

Eat it!

♪ ...it'll be a great day-aye ♪

♪ Long week, but it's done now ♪

♪ We about to have some fun now ♪

♪ Call my friends, yeah, it's going down
Until we say-aye-aye ♪

♪ You knew that every chance that I get ♪

♪ I'm gonna dance, you know it ♪

♪ Clap my hands
Whether we go on and on and on ♪

♪ You only get one life
So make sure do it right ♪

♪ Going big every time ♪

-♪ I'm not gonna let you get to me
-♪ No! ♪

♪ When I feel like I'm falling down ♪

♪ I gotta put my feet back
On the ground ♪

♪ And I turn my frown upside down
Like aye-aye-aye ♪

♪ When I'm about to lose my mind
I just turn that dial way up to nine ♪

♪ And I throw my hands up every time
Like aye-aye-aye ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ On the beach getting b*rned out ♪

♪ School's out, about to turn up ♪

♪ All we ever really learned was
Do it our way-aye-aye ♪
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