01x07 - Boy-Crazy Stacey

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Baby-Sitters Club" Aired: July 3, 2020 - October 11, 2021.*
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Five middle-school friends decide to launch their very own babysitting business.
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01x07 - Boy-Crazy Stacey

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[Stacey]
It was the first week of spring break,

and Mary Anne and I were
about to leave Stoneybrook

for our first out of town
babysitting job in...

Sea City!

One week, eight Pikes, two baby-sitters.

I can't believe you guys are going.

I can't believe your dad
is letting you go.

Yeah, how is Richard taking it?

[sobbing]

Pretty good...

considering.

He did make me only get one-pieces,

which made him feel like he was, again,
exerting some measure of control.

We'll go bikini shopping on our night off.

-It'll be our chance to bond.
-Really?

Yeah! [laughs]

I'm so jealous.

You guys get to go 
on a glamorous business trip,

while I'll be dying of boredom in Vermont.

You'll be with Mimi.

She'll be bored, too.

Speaking of boring,
this whole wedding stuff

has turned my mother into
the most basic person to ever live.

"Flutes or saucers? Roses or orchids?"

It's like talking to a Brides magazine
from the s.

At least she's not obsessively looking
for dates on Tinder. [laughs]

Sharon swipes right on everyone.

-[laughs]
-It's why I can't leave her alone.

Well, my dad will be
at home and vulnerable...

Say no more. The game is afoot.

Project Parent Trap begins now.

[Stacey] Mary Anne and Dawn were hoping

their parents would get back together
on their own,

but after months of waiting, they decided
to take a more active approach.

Okay, before we get into all of that,

-let's lay out some ground rules.
-[laughs]

The BSC code of conduct.

Oh, brother.

No texting during sitting hours.

We can't afford any distractions.

And be hyper-vigilant
with sunscreen application.

And most importantly...

Oh, don't worry. I can disconnect my pump
for up to an hour if I want to swim.

No. I mean, good,

but most importantly...

I'm gonna miss you guys.

Kristy, you're gonna make me cry.

[sobbing]

Guys.

Guys, come on,
we're only leaving for a week.

-Okay.
-[all laugh]

[Stacey] Which was about 
how longa car ride

with eight kids
with almost no behavioral boundaries felt.

-[chattering]
-[laughing]

[Stacey] But finally, 
after three vomiting incidents

and million are-we-there-yets,

Mary Anne, the Pike family and I
finally made it to Sea City.

[father] Pikes, sound off!

-Mallory!
-Jordan.

Adam.

-Dude.
-Oh. Byron.

[father] Nicky, Margo and Claire.

Daddy, I'm not Claire. I'm Fido. [barks]

[laughing]

Vanessa, come on, let's go.

My darkened soul is broken and in pain.

I hope at the beach
we get nothing but rain. [sighs]

She's going through a poetry phase.

[Vanessa] No, I'm not!

[laughs] It's very annoying,

but we encourage our children
to follow their bliss.

[Stacey] Meanwhile, back in Stoneybrook,

Dawn was implementing part one
of a multi-step plan.

Still no murders.

[cell phone ringing]

[clears throat]

Sharon, what a pleasant surprise.

Richie.

Hello, darling.

I was just calling to say
you should come over for dinner.

Maybe we could share a wine?

Okay.

On the rocks.

Nobody drinks wine on the rocks.

Dawn, return your mother's phone.

Richard, come on, man.

Give love a chance.

Remember when you used 
to be her little turtle?

What did you just say...

Why do you... Did she tell you--

No, I found her yearbook,
and I started reading it.

-Don't.
-She was so in love.

-Okay.
-Now she's so lonely.

I'm hanging up now.

-Oh, no, don't, don't...
-[beeps]

Oh, no.

Welcome to the yellow room.

This is probably my favorite bedroom.

You can hear the ocean.

It's so romantic.

I'm right next door in the pink room
if you need anything.

Mallory, why don't you go
help your sisters get changed?

And then we'll go down to the beach.

On it.

Oh, my God.

Can you believe they're paying us
to stay here?

[Stacey] No.

This is gonna be the best trip
of our entire lives.

Well, at least, of my life.

You've probably been
to a million glamorous places.

Not with one of my best friends.

Okay, so Deirdre said
we get Saturday night off.

So we have to go bikini shopping
and ride the Ferris wheel at sunset.

And we have to get those
old-fashioned airbrushed t-shirts.

One hundred percent.

[both laugh]

[Stacey] Mary Anne 
and I were officially obsessed

-with Sea City and our new room.
-[both laugh]

But Kristy...

Well, what do you think?

[Stacey] Kristy was having a bit 
of trouble getting used to hers.

It's...

big.

Big, yeah.

Big.

Oh, Kristy, 
your mom and I have our menu tasting

for the wedding on Saturday.

Do you think you could watch Karen
and Andrew for us? Well, for me.

Well, for us.

Um... sure.

Ah, great! Thank you so ver--

Thank you very much.

Okay, I'll let you enjoy the space.

Just feel it out.

It's all yours. Bye.

Oh, I'm going that way.

[Stacey] Our first full day in Sea City.

Mary Anne and I were a perfect team.

While Mr. and Mrs. Pike slept in
for the first time in years,

we were wide awake.

Stacey, come check this out!

Yeah.

We're digging a hole to China.

Can I help?

No, get lost, puke-head.

Adam, be kind to Nicky, please.

We don't have to do what you say.
You're not our mom.

Don't talk to Stacey like that!

[Stacey] The Pikes have lost control.

Okay, just be nice
and let Nicky play, okay?

And suddenly...

so had I.

Mary Anne, I just saw my husband.

I thought my rug was your husband.

Also, we're on the clock.

We locked eyes and time stopped.

Look at him! Lifeguard, three o'clock.

What's up, buddy?

Stacey, that man is way too old for you.

He's at least .

I've got to get his attention.

How do I look?

You look and sound insane.

Get his attention?

What are you gonna do, pretend to drown?

Do you think that would work?

I'm gonna go talk to him.

[gasps]

-And, like, cleared it.
-Yeah.

Um, hey, I'm Stacey.

Stacey McGill.

Formerly of Manhattan,
currently of Stoneybrook, Connecticut.

I'm working here on the beach, too.

So if you need any help,
just holla at moi.

"Holla at moi"?

Maybe I should have pretended
to drown after all.

[laughs] Okay, cool.I'm Scott.

Yo, Scott. We're all out of soda.

-Wanna make a store run?
-Yeah.

I gotta go. See you around?

Yeah. Of course.

Oh, um, you dropped this.

Keep it. My gift to you, cutie.

[Stacey] Cutie.

A pet name and a romantic gift.

This was just the beginning.

♪ You know I liked you right from... ♪

[Stacey] I brought you some soda.

No way. [gasps] Thanks, kiddo.

Yo, bro, can I have one?

♪ I'd give you my heart ♪

♪ But you never gave me the time of day
You never... ♪

At least we're giving the seagulls food,
right?

-[laughing]
-[shouting]

Don't throw it at me!

[Mary Anne] Guys!

[shouting]

[Stacey] Ow!

Somewhere in the recesses
of my boy-crazed brain,

I knew it was wrong
to leave Mary Anne with all the work.

[coughs]

-[Stacey] But this was destiny...
-[children shouting]

and destiny waits for no baby-sitter.

What are you thinking about?

Thinking about how many burgers
I'm gonna slam at Burger Garden later.

Oh, my God.

Wait you're going to Burger Garden later?

That's insane! Guess where I'm gonna be.

Burger Garden!

Rad. See you there, then.

Jordan! Adam! Nicky! Come on!

My God.

Do you want us to dig you out
or are you doing this for the 'gram?

Dig me out, please.

[huffs]
As you can see, I'm literally in too deep,

given the fact that one of my alleged
best friends/co-baby-sitters has left me

to be eaten alive by seagulls,

while she tries to marry
an inappropriately old lifeguard.

Sorry, hi.

-I'm Mary Anne.
-Hi. I'm Alex.

And don't be sorry.

I'm a local, and I can't begin to tell you
how many people I've had to dig out

-of this beach over the years.
-[Mary Anne laughs]

How can I repay you?

Ice cream? Henna tattoos?

-An almost dead pet crab?
-[laughs] You're hilarious.

People who barely know me always say that.

Oh, this is my cousin Toby.

He's visiting from Canada.

-Hi.
-Want to hang out with us later?

I can't.

My co-babysitter and I need to have
some one-on-one time,

if she has time for me.

She seems pretty busy.

Here, I'll give you my number.

Text me if you change your mind.

[Stacey] Scott said he's gonna be
at Burger Garden later slamming burgers,

so let's keep our eyes peeled.

So much for bikini shopping.

We should probably put a pin
in the bikini shopping.

It's freezing anyways.

So much for fun in the sun.

Well, I'm inviting my new friend Alex
and his cousin to join us.

Do you think Scott will like them?

Stacey,

why are you turning yourself inside out
for this completely average guy

who you barely know?

I'm sorry to say it, Mary Anne,

-but you're just not as--
-What?

As mature as you?

Well, at least I'm mature enough
to do the job I was hired to do.

[Stacey] I knew Mary Anne was right.

I hadn't been a great baby-sitter,

or a great friend,

but Scott was worth it.

Wasn't he?

Car wash! Car wash! Daddy gets a car wash!

[Stacey] While Watson and Liz were
at their menu tasting,

Kristy had what she thought
was another one of her great ideas.

Keep the kids busy and get chores done.

What could go wrong?

Do you guys have any of those big sponges?

[Karen] In the garage.

Just make sure you don't go
into the little room with the blue door.

That's where my dad keepsall
of his secrets.

[doorknob rattles]

Hey, Andrew!

Andrew, buddy!

No. [pounds on door]

No, no, no, no, no, that's steel wool!

You're gonna scratch the paint!

[banging door] No!

No!

Did you hear about the hungry clock?

No.

It went back for seconds.

[laughing]

Get it, Stacey?

Time's measured in seconds, and...

Don't bother.

Looking for someone, Stacey?

Sorry, what?

She's looking for a gorgeous hunk,

tall, tan, slamming burgers.

I'm a hunk slamming burgers.

[laughing]

Okay, what if we put the car in neutral

and pushed it into the road

and hope someone hits it,
and when Watson comes home,

we'll say someone tried to steal the car,
but they crashed it and fled the scene.

Or you could just push it into the garage.

Daddy hardly ever drives this car anyways.

It's really old,

and fewer than were ever made.

Oh.

Oh, my God, he's here. What do I do?

Get him a gift.

That's a great idea.

He got me a gift, after all.

What? No, Stacey, I was joking.

He gave you a whistle, on accident.

You, you're a boy. Come with me.

See what I've been dealing with?

I can relate.

I had a crush on this guy at theater camp,

and things really escalated when I was
cast as his father in The Fantasticks.

What about you?

What about me?

Have you ever been in love?

Well, there is this one guy.

Logan.

I wouldn't call it love,

but whenever I see him,
my legs feel like Jell-O.

But we've barely even talked.

Mary Anne, talk to him

or else you're gonna spend
the rest of your life

wondering if his legs feel like Jell-O
when he sees you.

Okay, as a boy,
is this something you'd like?

It depends.

As this boy,
am I very interested in mollusks?

Forget it.

No, what I meant to say is,

anything can be special
if it comes from someone special.

Oh, my God, there he is.

[Stacey sighs]

Wow. Hey, cutie.

What's with the chocolates?
You selling these?

Babe, I think they're for you.

Another little girl from the beach 
that's in love with you.

Um, no, I-- they're--

[Toby] Mine.

Thanks for holding them for me,
beloved girlfriend.

Sorry, I gotta go.

[Stacey] As a wise poet once put it,

my darkened soul was broken and in pain.

I hoped at the beach
we got nothing but rain.

Are you gonna be okay?

I completely embarrassed myself.

Just like you said I would.

Hey, Byron,
I need a little space here, buddy.

Should we tell her what you told us,
buddy?

-Don't you dare!
-Tell me what.

-Byron has a big, fat--
-Shut up!

Okay, everybody out.

Byron, come here.

You know you shouldn't
shove your brother, right?

Jordan's a butthead.

But he's right.

I love you.

Byron, I'm way too old for you.

But that doesn't mean I don't think
you're a wonderful person,

and I value you as a friend.

I can live with that.

Hug?

[Stacey] In mending Byron's broken heart,

I was starting to feel mine heal, too.

How much?

[Stacey] But back in Stoneybrook...

Just to paint the wheel well?

No, I need it done in secret and onsite,

because I cannot drive.

[Stacey] ...there were somethings that
were simply too expensive to fix.

Hold on, I'm getting a call
from a blocked number.

Hello, Kristy Thomas,
president of the Baby-Sitters Club.

Hello, Kristy.

You seem to be ignoring my calls.

What?

No way.

I just get so many robocalls.

Okay, I gotta go. Bye.

Yeah, is there something you want
to tell me about my car?

Oh, um...

I pushed it into the garage.

It looked like rain. You're welcome.

And the scratches all over the back of it?

Karen said you had hidden secrets,

so I went into the room
with the blue door,

and then I got trapped in there,
and they steel-wooled your car.

And now you're gonna m*rder me,
and that's gonna be your hidden secret,

and I am so, so, so sorry.

Look, I get it. Karen is a lot.

But listen to me.

I don't have any hidden secrets.

Okay? I'm a normal person.

I promise.

Copy.

And do we have to be honest
with my mom about this, or...

[laughs] Oh, God, no. No way.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

And...

I really like my new room.

You do?

-Oh. Well, good--
-[clicks]

-[beeps]
-Oh.

[all] One, two, three. Go, team!

[Claire] I'm it!

[Stacey] Our last day in Sea City, 
and I was finally letting myself have fun.

I didn't care how I looked
or if some boy knew who I was.

I knew who I was.

[blows whistle]

What do you say, buddy?

Mary Anne, I'll be right back.

Oh, hey, cutie.

I came to return something to you.

Oh, did you find my flip-flop?

[Stacey] The thing about love is...

Actually, I don't think I really know
that much about love yet.

But one thing I do know is that
the people who deserve your love...

Look!

...are the people
who have always loved you.

[Dawn] "Sorry I went back into my shell."

Richard?

I wonder what it eats.

We'll have to find out.

[Stacey]
And the people who deserve your love

are the people who stand by you
through thick and thin.

Mary Anne, I owe you a formal apology.

I left you totally high and dry
in more ways than one.

I'm really sorry.

You know what's funny?

I've always thought you were so cool,

and I was terrified going into the trip

that you'd see me as the emotional,
overreacting dork that I am.

But now I realize that we're both complete
and total dorks.

[laughing]

I got us a little something.

-Stacey McGill, you did not!
-[laughing]

Oh, my gosh!

[gasps] I love it. When did you even
fit the time in to do this?

-It's a secret.
-[laughing]

-[glass shatters]
-[sighs]

There goes my Airbnb rating.

The beach was a blast.

I pray this trip was not my last.

Hey, Byron.
You want your regular seat next to me?

I think... I think I need some space.

[Toby] Stacey.

I wrote something inside.

"To Stacey, a very special mollusk."

It's true.

-The special part, not the mollusk part.
-[laughs]

[horn honks]

Goodbye, Toby.

Um, spill.

I just had my first kiss!

-What? Oh, my gosh!
-[laughs]

I wonder how it'll work out between us.

Maybe he can come
and visit Stoneybrook on holidays.

Maybe he'll get a dual citizenship.

I miss him already.

[Mary Anne] Oh, God.

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe we could meet
Somewhere in the moment ♪

♪ Somewhere we could go just 
To talk for a while ♪

♪ All the little things that I try 
To forget ♪

♪ But I remember, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
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