01x09 - Hello, Camp Moosehead! Part 1

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Baby-Sitters Club" Aired: July 3, 2020 - October 11, 2021.*
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Five middle-school friends decide to launch their very own babysitting business.
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01x09 - Hello, Camp Moosehead! Part 1

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♪ Let me convince you to come away 
With me ♪

♪ You've never been somewhere so loud ♪

♪ I'd find another room
But I have to pay my rent ♪

♪ But the way I keep my promise 
Feels so confident... ♪

[Kristy] It was finally summer vacation.

The Baby-Sitters Club was finally going
into the eighth grade.

And we were all set for an epic adventure
of making new friends,

trying new things and most important,

being together for the best summer ever.

We made it. Camp Moosehead at last.

And just in time. [sighs]

If I was on that bus five more minutes,
my circulatory system would never recover.

-[laughs]
-Grounding breath. [exhales]

Summer look.

Thoughts?

Approve.

Adore.

You look like a bug.

Also, why are you wearing sunglasses
when it's raining?

But I'm so glad you skipped out
on fancy art camp

so we can all be together.

I can still have a summer of art.

The trees will be my inspiration,
and the sky will be my muse.

And it never rains at Camp Moosehead.

It's only a heavy dew.

[all] Moosehead!

Moose, Moosehead! Moosehead! Moosehead!

Moosehead!

Moose, Moosehead!

Moosehead! Moosehead!

[cheering]

You know the chant already.

Yeah, we practiced it on the bus.

We also know the camp song and some
of the lore from the welcome pamphlet.

Stoneybrook group, yeah?

-You know it!
-[laughing]

[woman] Cabin assignments.

Eighth grade girls, Kishi and Schafer,
Cardinal cabin.

McGill and Thomas, Bluebird.

Spier, Meadowlark.

Moving on, eighth grade boys,
we got Bruno.

I thought we were supposed to be together.

And I'm all alone.

Come on. We'll fix this.

Excuse me.

Hi. Kristy Thomas,
resident of Stoneybrook,

president of the Baby-Sitters Club.

Philomena Means. Kids call me Meany.

Resident of Passaic, New Jersey.

Director of Camp Moosehead
for the past years.

Impressive record of service.

But I think there's been a mistake.

See, my friends and I 
specifically requested

to all be in the same cabin.

We're the Baby-Sitters Club.

You mentioned that.

This whole camp thing was supposed to be

like a morale-building exercise
for the business.

-Sort of like a corporate retreat.
-Hmm.

And some serious bonding time.

Which some of us have made
some major sacrifices for.

So we'd really appreciate it
if you could move some things around.

Cardinal, Bluebird, Toucan,
wherever you have room.

I know it's hard to not be
in the same cabin as your friends,

but this change will be good for you.

Wait, what about the CIT program?

I know they're a little bit older than us,

but we have so much
baby-sitting experience,

we're actually overqualified.

And like I said,

I'm the president and founder 
of a very successful childcare enterprise.

CITs are and up. [sighs]

This isn't a business retreat.

[laughs] It's just summer.

Relax and enjoy yourself, Kristy Thomas.

Well, can I at least be president
of my cabin?

At least we'll all get to be together
at group activities, right?

You and I get to hang out all the time.

Just the two of us.

Um... which we literally never have.

That hadn't occurred to me.

It'll be fun to connect.

That's what camp's about, right?
[chuckles]

Right. [laughs]

Cool.

I think I'll sign up
for the morning announcements.

It's the supreme opportunity
to alert the camp

about important social justice issues.

Gotta love a free platform. [laughs]

Speaking of platform,

I think I really gotta rethink
my shoe game.

You're nervous because
you don't know anyone in your cabin.

-Karen!
-I don't know anyone in mine, either,

but Daddy told me all about this place

and how much I'd love it here.

Oh, really? What'd he say?

That there are snakes, 
mostly when it rains,

which is a lot.

And there are poisonous
brown-tailed moths.

But there's also a theater
where you can put on plays.

Really?

Yes.

Unfortunately,
it's cursed by a crazed hermit,

who was driven to madness
by the singing from rehearsals.

He kidnapped the entire cast.

And they were never seen again.

But the hermit's still out there.

In a cabin in Old Camp.

Some say, on quiet nights,

you can still hear the vanished campers
singing to him.

Okay. Bye, Mary Anne!

[girls chattering]

[girl] That's so weird. 
She's, like, taller.

-Yeah, she's totally copying me.
-[girl ] I know.

[girl] Did you see what that girl was 
wearing? The one next door?

-[girl ] You mean Veronica?
-[girl] Yeah, Veronica.

I guess this is me.

[chattering continuing]

Hamilton! I love that show.

I watched it three times
with the original cast,

not including the public workshop.

-How'd you get tickets?
-My dad. He's a Broadway producer.

I know how that sounds.

I'm from New York.

Everyone there is either a producer

or a bartender.

One of my best friends is from New York.
Maybe you know her.

Or maybe it's a massive city
which millions of people are from,

and they obviously don't
all know each other.

[sighs] I'm sorry. I'm nervous.

It's okay.

Streisand couldn't perform live
for years because of nerves.

I can't believe you like theater.

You seem so cool.

I usually go to theater camp every summer,

but my mom was so busy
planning her Como trip this year

that they gave my spot away,
so I'm here instead.

Maybe we could get permission
to do a show of our own.

There's a theater here,

and there was supposed 
to be a theater program,

at least,

before the curse.

Wait, what curse?

The hermit,

in the woods,

and how the sound of musical theater
drove him crazy,

and he's still out there somewhere?

What score? Because if it was Cats,
I can't say I blame him.

[both laugh]

Karen and David Michael will be fine.

They're relatively social

and emotionally intelligent for their age.

But I am worried about Mary Anne.

She's gonna have a hard time
being all by herself.

At least we're together.

Yeah. I'm glad. [laughs]

So what are your summer goals?

Anything in particular you want
to accomplish?

Maybe some survival skills?

Right now, I really just want to sleep.

Good night, Kristy.

Night, Stace.

Good morning, camp director.

I'm Dawn Schafer
of Stoneybrook, Connecticut,

the best little town
in the tri-state area.

That's just some of the enthusiasm
you can expect

if you let me do
the morning announcements.

You volunteered and you can speak
in complete sentences. You're hired.

-Yes!
-Just say what we tell you to say.

It's gonna be weather,

calendar news, that kind of stuff.

With my own twist, of course.

More news than twist.

[Mary Anne] Hey, guys.

Oh, I'm gonna say Stoneybrook, right?

And New York City.

-West nd in da house.
-Great.

We're here to formally request access
to the theater to put on a musical.

I don't have a long resumé in theater,

-but my producer here does.
-[girl] Ah!

The sign-up sheets are
in the file cabinet.

Break a leg. Not literally.

I cannot afford another lawsuit.

Oh, my God!

[sighs] Why are we doing this?

'Cause archery is a survival skill!

[whistles] Campers! Make two lines.

You'll go one by one

and when someone hits the board,
you hiss like a snake,

but if they don't, roar like a lion.

Let me hear you practice. Hiss!

-[Meany] Hey, Kristy.
-Yes.

[Meany] You're not a counselor.

What are you talking about?

Just go inside and watch TV
like a normal kid.

Look, there's gonna come a time
when you're gonna look back on your life

and just regret
all the TV you didn't watch, okay?

-Let's go.
-I'll have you know that I'm very vigilant

with teaching myself these skills...

[Meany] You, too, counselors.

Wait.

This yarn is poorly behaved.

[sighs]
Well-behaved yarns rarely make history.

[laughs]
Isn't that the saying on your tote bag?

The focus on your God's eye is next-level.

Tomorrow, we tie-dye.

If you want to participate,

stop by the commissary 
to purchase your shirts to dye.

It's $ for a crew neck tee,

for a sweatshirt.

Super high-quality cotton, guys.

Holds color well.

My parents didn't give me
commissary money.

They said camp was already so expensive.

Then you can't do the tie-dye.

I'm sorry,

but you can assist or draw or something.

[sighs]

-[gasps]
-Wow, this is...

This is a great space.

I need to feel the energy.

So, you have a script.

I want to do the first show I ever saw
on Broadway.

Paris Magic.

I love that show.

A young woman time-traveling her way
through the French Revolution?

It's a great female role.

Campers are going to die to be in this.

-Uh...
-Just a coincidence.

Definitely not the curse.

Just maybe don't say
the word "die" next time.

[Dawn over PA]
Moosehead! Good morning, campers.

Here's The News at Dawn.

Audition for the camp musical,
and you can be part of saving the arts.

Not just here at Camp Moosehead,
but in the world,

which is due for a dose of radical empathy
that only the arts can provide.

Um, but it's gonna be a chilly one,

so don't forget your sweatshirts.

[Mary Anne]
All right, everyone, listen up.

I'm Mary Anne, director and writer,
and this is my producer--

Laine Cummings.
Thank you all for being here.

[Mary Anne] We're looking for excellence.

Star quality.

And we'll know it when we see it.

Okay, first up.

Where's my clipboard?

[Laine] Oh, um...

[sighs] Stay close, Mallory.
I'll need an assistant.

Karen Brewer.

[Karen] Whether 'tis nobler in the mind

to suffer the slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune

or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

and by opposing,

end them:

to die. To sleep.

Perchance, to dream.

[Mary Anne] Whoo!

Okay, so,

this is me getting hit by lightning.

Uh, we need boys.

Next up, Logan Bruno.

So should I start?

Yeah. Yeah, begin, yep.

Who is she?

Jessi Ramsey, my very best friend.
[laughs]

She's starting at Stoneybrook
Middle School next year.

She's hired.

And she's choreographing.

[Laine] Anybody else?

Did I miss it?

Stacey.

Laine.

It's...

It's good to see you, Stacey.

[huffs]

Stacey.

[sighs]

Stacey, what's the matter?

Mary Anne, that's Laine.

Like, Laine-Laine.

Your friend,

from the video at your old school.

Ex-friend.

Very ex.

I haven't spoken to her
since I left New York.

Stace, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know.

It's okay, how could you?

I'll tell her we can't
keep working together.

I can find a new producer.

Karen's young, but she is confident
and has access to investors--

No, Mary Anne, it's okay.

I just...

I was surprised to see her.

My life has been going so great.
Who cares about Laine?

The past is the past.

I'm still gonna audition,
and we'll find a way to make it work.

Okay.

But if you do have any residual feelings
of anger or sorrow

about Laine and what happened in New York,

-use it.
-[laughs]

[Claudia] I can't stop thinking
about the tie-dye thing.

It's super messed up that only kids
with money get to do the cool projects.

Art should be for everybody.

It's not just the art stuff.

Horseback riding costs extra,

and there are special day trips
that not everybody can afford.

It's so unfair.

It's socioeconomic stratification.

It's creating haves and have-nots

in what's supposed 
to be a utopian environment.

-You're agreeing with me, right?
-Absolutely.

[laughs]

What are we gonna do about it?

Yes!

[sighs]

Congratulations.

Um...

Uh, Stace,

maybe it was supposed to be this way.

Maybe we were destined 
to be at camp together.

Or maybe our moms
get the same Facebook ads.

But if you can be professional, so can I.

Okay.

See you at rehearsal.

Those colors are perfect.
It's gonna look so good.

You can just give yours a hang up there.
Yeah. It's great.

Wow, really good job. I love your choices.

Okay, and you can hang yours to dry. Yes.

Crushed it.

That looks so great.

Friday, three o'clock.

Follow the arrows and tell your friends.

Another beautiful day for Camp Moosehead.

But an abysmal one for the men, women
and children in Central America,

seeing their way of life destroyed
by climate change.

And the metaphorical climate
is changing at camp as well,

because the scourge of income inequality
is rearing its ugly head...

[clears throat]

It's meatloaf night.

Be forewarned. [chuckles]

-["Reveille" playing]
-[Meany] Ah.

That was great. Let's see the next move.

Okay, so you spin her around
and then boom.

You kiss.

Just pretend for now.

Keep it...

fresh.

Let's take five.

How's it looking?

Am I doing okay?

It's coming along.

You have some raw talent
that I think I can mold.

That means so much coming from you.

Your tea, chief.

You should stretch.
We're gonna go again right away.

Mary Anne...

Dude, it is on.

-What?
-Logan. He likes you.

-Go get him, girl.
-I could set something up,

ask him to join us for a "working dinner."

The curse!

The hermit has come for us all.

-[Laine] Um...
-And we're back, people.

Dude, your sister's weird.

She's my stepsister.

♪ You gonna know my name ♪

♪ I ain't playing no games ♪

♪ Don't try to tell me what to do ♪

♪ I do whatever I want to... ♪

I hope you read the water safety manual.

Kristy.

Go get some meatloaf from the mess hall
before it's gone.

And try to relax.

[Dawn over PA] Happy Friday, campers.

Summer is trucking right along.

Totally normal.

Everything is % fine

and great and equitable.

So have a great day
and don't forget to hydrate.

♪ Watch me, watch me ♪

♪ One, two, one, two, three, four
I'm shining... ♪

There's this artist
named Andy Goldsworthy.

He makes these amazing, large-scale
art pieces of nature, using nature.

His work is beautiful, but it's also free.

So that's what we're gonna be doing today.

Because art shouldn't be
only the province of the privileged.

So true.

This is what I've been working on,

but we can make something even better,
together.

Let's start by gathering
some natural supplies.

Leaves, sticks, stones, flowers, feathers.

♪ One, two three, four, I'm shining
Watch me, I'm shining ♪

♪ Just getting started
I'm just getting started, watch me... ♪

That's awesome, you guys.

Breathtaking.

And our masterpiece will disappear
when the wind blows.

Making our art just as ephemeral
as the organic materials that made it.

Hey, what's going on here?

It's art class.

The only sanctioned arts and crafts
at Camp Moosehead is my class,

where most of you are supposed to be
right now.

Well, most of us don't have hundreds
of extra dollars

for you to show us how 
to inexpertly tie-dye,

so we're doing our own class.

Power to the people.

You can't have an unsanctioned class
out here in the middle of nowhere.

It's a liability to have
all these unsupervised kids.

There are bears.

They're not unsupervised.

Claudia and I are here.

Back in Stoneybrook--

You baby-sit. I've heard.

This is over.

Everybody, back to arts and crafts.

Philomena, it's not fair.

The T-shirts are too expensive
for most kids,

and they shouldn't feel left out
just because they can't afford it.

It's a social economic stratosphere thing.

Camp is supposed 
to be a "utopious" environment,

which means fair.

It actually means ideal.

Go to arts and crafts.

No.

Then you're remanded.

I don't know what that it means.

It means I'm ordering you back
to your cabin until further notice.

Starting now.

Claudia, be strong.
You're doing the right thing.

Now what?

Now...

we fight.

Leave it, Thomas.

What's the matter with Claudia?
She's not feeling well?

You're a Bluebird.
This is Cardinal business.

Now get back to mess,

unless you want the same thing
to happen to you.

[sighs]

The bells, mademoiselle,
they toll for the end of the world.

Indeed, petit Gaston.

Uh, Stacey, further stage left.

And when they ring no more--

Further left.

And when they ring no more...

Line.

"And when they ring no more,
the world we seek..."

And when they ring no more,
the world we seek has come.

You have more lines.

Uh, Stacey, do you need a break?

Excuse me.

[scoffs] You keep forgetting your lines,
and your blocking, it's...

it's all over the place.

Are you feeling okay?

Do you need some juice or something?

Are you kidding me?

You keep interrupting me
for your stupid light cues,

and you're blaming this on my diabetes?

-I was just trying to help.
-Yeah.

Just like you were trying 
to help me last year

when I lost all of my friends
and you ruined my life.

-[Laine] I didn't.
-You did!

And I'm done. [scoffs]

Stacey, wait.

Take five, everyone.

It's the curse.

The hermit has failed
to destroy us physically,

so he's attacking us psychologically.

He has to be stopped.

You know what they say.

Bad dress rehearsal, great opening night.

That's a myth.

[panting] Stacey! Stacey, wait.

Just listen to what I have to say.

Why, so you can lie about not forwarding
that video of me in the cafeteria?

I didn't, I swear.

You know what? It doesn't matter.

You were supposed to be my best friend,
and you didn't stop it,

didn't stand up for me.

-I didn't know what was going on.
-You never asked.

You just treated me like a leper
and never spoke to me again.

But I have real friends now,

friends who would never
treat me like that.

I don't need you. Ever.

-Stacey, just wait.
-Get away from me! Oh!

Gosh, Stacey, here.

-You want to help? Here.
-[grunts]

I said leave me alone!

[gasps]

[panting]

Stace.

[Stacey] Yeah.

This was supposed to be
the best summer ever...

and it's just not.

[Stacey moans]

I thought we were all gonna be
together having a blast,

but now we're all separated...

it just feels wrong.

Claudia's in trouble,

Mary Anne's like
a completely different person, and I...

It's like I don't even feel
like myself anymore, you know?

Stace...

You awake?

[screams]

Oh, my God, what happened to your face?

♪ Sugar in my hair, meltin' everywhere 
In the sunshine ♪

♪ Watch the sun go down 
While my face starts to crystallize ♪

♪ You could be the one ♪

♪ You could be the one 
Who'll make me feel all right ♪

♪ Take me anywhere, take me anywhere
I wanna be your guy ♪

♪ I can't go through without you ♪

♪ Well, I'm glazin', glazin', glazin'
For you ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm glazin', glazin', glazin'
For you ♪

♪ Well, I'm glazin', glazin', glazin'
Glazin' ♪

♪ Glazin', glazin', glazin' for you ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm glazin', glazin', glazin'
Glazin' ♪

♪ Glazin', glazin', glazin' for you ♪

♪ Well, I'm glazin', glazin', glazin'
Glazin' ♪

♪ Glazin', glazin', glazin' for you ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm glazin', glazin', glazin'
Glazin' ♪

♪ Glazin', glazin', glazin' for you ♪
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