02x01 - Sophomoric

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Felicity". Aired: September 29, 1998 –; May 22, 2002.*
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Follows Felicity to NYC after high school as she navigates life and discovers who she really is.
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02x01 - Sophomoric

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Felicity...

I'm leaving tonight. Are
you going to come with me?

It's not just us.

I mean, you know, there
are other people involved.

We have a chance to go on this
trip together, and I really want to do it.

Come with me.

To Berlin?

I'm a little ahead of myself. I
already ordered you a ticket.

I didn't have to make a
decision between Ben and Noel,

but I did.

So, where to?

It was the very end
of my freshman year,

and there I was,
sitting in the cab.

So, where to?

It was like a moment of truth.

Sorry.

sh**t. Um...

Well, Felicity, I'm going
crazy here. What happened?

This is Meghan. Our floor
meeting starts in 15 minutes.

As if I care two hoots.
What the hell did you do?

I want to tell you
the story, Javier,

but it's kind of a story.

Okay, so fine. Tell
it fast right now.

I'm not kidding! I'm serious!

Please just... Okay. I
can't deal with you, okay?

Okay, look. I know I don't always
say things that I mean, exactly.

But this is serious.

Tell me who the hell you
did go with, or I will k*ll you.

I'm gonna go to this meeting
right now, but I will come back

and I will tell you everything.

Now I'm all emotional.

I promise.

I will give you all
the details later.

And I'm so glad
you got your visa.

Can you believe that? My
life is so good now. Ha ha!

I'll come back later.
Thanks for my schedule.

You better come
back and tell me,

or you are fired.
I'm not kidding!

Oh, it is so unfair.

Dear Sally,

I'm sitting in my new room.

That squeak is my new bed.

God, is it weird being back.

I mean, for a million reasons, but
the first of which is my new roommate.

To be honest,
when I first got here,

all I was thinking
about was Ben and Noel

and what it was gonna
be like to see them again.

How I was gonna deal with the
consequences of what I did last year.

Things felt kind of chaotic.

The only comfort was knowing
that this year I'm an R.A.,

which meant I was going
to have a single room.

Excuse me. Hi.

I'm looking for the
resident advisor meeting.

Oh, God. This was
it. You missed it.

Oh. I missed my
first R.A. meeting.

I'm Nancy. I'm the
fourth floor advisor.

I'm Felicity.

Hi. Hi.

I, uh...

My flight was delayed
from San Francisco,

so, um...

Could you just give me
the CliffsNotes version?

Yeah. Over the summer they
discovered that Slater Hall had asbestos,

like more asbestos than oxygen,

so now they have to double
up on all the other dorms.

So now doubles are triples,

and singles are doubles,
and, ugh! It's just a disaster.

Well, I was supposed
to have a single this year.

That's what everybody
was saying at the meeting.

Nice work, missing
the first R.A. meeting.

We're roommates again?

That was kind of
my reaction, too,

except angrier and louder.

And in between "we're" and
"roommates," I added a word.

It's not gonna be
so bad, though,

living with Meghan
again, being co-R.A.'s.

We have 46 advisees,

which is a pretty
huge responsibility.

I'm a little nervous.

The dorm cafeteria is open

from 6:30 a.m. to 8:00 p.m.,

but the one in the student
union is open until 10:00.

And the food there sucks.

Well, it's not the best,

but it's not the worst.

Uh, yeah, it is.

Are there, uh, any other
questions before we wrap up?

Hi. Does health
services fill prescriptions?

Yes.

What kind of prescription?

What's wrong with you?

Birth control.

Oh. Health services will
fill that prescription just fine.

But I wouldn't necessarily take
birth control advice from her.

She's had sex once.

Meghan. Listen, just stay
away from health services.

Oh, and the guy she had
sex with she barely even knew.

I can't believe...

Last year, I needed a refill
on Zomig for a migraine,

'cause I was living with her,

and they gave me 20 Zyprexa,
which is an antipsychotic.

Which might not
have been an accident.

Um, if you go check it out for
yourself, I'm sure it'll be fine.

So, I think that's everything.

Welcome to your freshman
year and come talk to us

with any questions at any time.

Have a great year.

Thanks.

What the hell was that?

Thought the meeting
went pretty well.

You just announced my sexual
history to a group of strangers.

Is one a history?

Hey, and I have news
for you... No one cares.

Excuse me.

Uh, I just wanted to
state, for the record,

that we all know how lame it is

that you two had to explain
to us where the library is

as if were a gaggle of morons,

but despite the assignment, you
two run an exceptional meeting.

You should know that.

I'm Brian Burke.

Hi.

So, is it true what she said,
that you only had sex one time?

That is none of your business.

Hey, hey, I'm not the one who
brought it up. I'm just intrigued.

So, are advisees allowed to, uh,

get involved with
their advisors?

Uh, no.

Well, you know, it
didn't stop her last year.

Damn it! This is not gonna work,

us living together
again, being co-R.A.'s.

I'm going to the housing
office. I'm gonna transfer.

No! Then I'm gonna
have to transfer!

Think of how your
actions affect me for once.

Who are you?

People call me Burkey.

Excuse me.

Is she always this moody?

Freshman packet!
$15! Down from 20!

Excuse me, sir, care to
buy a freshman packet?

No, thanks. You sure?

I'll take one.

Hey!

Hi.

How you doing?

Oh, man. You look
great. You do, too.

What are you selling? Oh, this
is genius. The freshman packet.

I've been wanting to do
this for years. It's amazing.

It's all the essentials
preassembled.

Totally practical
and convenient.

You got aspirin, maps,
pepper spray, condoms.

I mean, not pepper
spray condoms, but, um...

Energy bars, NoDoz, 15 bucks.

How many have you sold?

I've only been out here a couple
hours. What's going on with you?

Have you talked to Ben?

No, no. Not since May.

Yeah. He's supposed
to get in today,

but I haven't
heard from him yet.

Anyway, I am so
psyched to be back.

Yeah? Yeah.

I'm just gonna
have fun this year.

I have a new
outlook, a single room.

I'm gonna make up for last
year, which was a real dark patch.

That's impossible. That's
the year you met me.

Will you come by and say hello?

Unless it's gonna
be awkward with Ben.

No. That was a long time
ago. I'll definitely come by.

I hope so. Yeah.

Five bucks. No more.

Five? Are you nuts? Yes.

Freshman packet. Five bucks.

Oh, my God! Are you Julie?

Hi. I'm Stacy. This is Penny.

I'm Penny. This is Stacy.

Hi.

Um, is this my room?

Julie, right? Julie, isn't it?

Yeah. I'm supposed
to have a single.

Wow.

So I'm back in
New York, except...

It doesn't feel the same,

and maybe it's just because I
haven't really seen anyone yet,

like Elena or Julie,
Ben, or Noel...

Or maybe Meghan put a hex on
me, which wouldn't surprise me one bit.

I've been roomed with
Meghan Rotundi, another R.A.,

and here's the problem, I
can't live with Meghan Rotundi.

We lived together last year,
and it's just real contentious.

It's not good for me
or her or the advisees,

and, I was just curious
if I could be reassigned.

I just need another
place to live.

Uh-huh. Well,
since you're an R.A.,

you can apply to switch
to live with another R.A.,

but it's very unlikely
you'll get a room change.

Okay. Thanks.

May I help you? Um, no thanks.

I was gonna ask
the same question.

One year ago today,

I was becoming
friends with people.

Now I'm becoming enemies.

It's good to see you. You, too.

So, where to?

Kennedy Airport, please.

International terminal.

Okay.

Wait a minute. You
said you went with Ben.

I know, but when the driver asked
"where to?" That's what came out.

I was just sitting there
in the car, you know.

It felt... It felt
right. It felt safe.

Which made me
realize if I went with Noel,

I mean, I know we
would have a great time.

I knew what that trip would be.

But...

We're not going to the airport.

170 Wooster Street, please.

I knew the question
would haunt me.

What would've happened
had I gone with Ben?

How could you not go with Noel?

So cute with the pinky ring.

You ever seen his
smile? It's so electric.

Javier, yes, I know.

Ah, but Ben with
his new haircut...

You have, like, an
incredible buffet of men.

The best thing was, it
was a chance to get to know

what Ben was really like.

It was...

Sex?

No.

Good for you.

Do you want me to put these out?

What?

Oh... Are you
telling him the story?

Yeah.

I wish I'd been there.

Yeah, yeah. That would've been
interesting if you'd come with us.

A different kind of trip.

Yes. Yeah.

Yes, why don't
you put those out?

They're delicious. Okay.

So what about Noel? And
Julie, who hates you now, right?

Neither of them returned
my phone calls this summer.

I called Noel once in Berlin,

and some girl answered.

Well, you know, good
for him, you know?

I'm sure he didn't spend all
summer long pining over you.

Forget you. You broke his heart.

Javier.

No, no! Well, that's why you love
me. I'm sorry. You know, brutal honesty.

Noel walked right
by me yesterday.

Which I deserve.

I mean, I deserve
whatever I get.

You know what? I'm sure,
once you finally talk to Noel,

everything is going to be fine.

I've sold almost 30
packets since I ran into you.

I don't know what the hell I was
thinking about... $15, you know?

I mean, five bucks, it isn't
threatening. It's a good lesson.

Uh, oh. What's wrong?

I'm living with
two cheerleaders.

They spent all morning doing
herkies in their underwear.

I don't know what that means,

but cheerleaders in their
underwear sounds fantastic.

I'm supposed to have a single
and I am living in a locker room.

Well, if you need to, you
can stay at the loft for a while.

No. I can't do that. Why not?

What, because of Ben?

Like you said, what happened
with you guys was a long time ago.

Seriously, stay as
long as you want.

Look, you're the greatest.
Thank you so much,

but I think I am
going to tough it out.

You sure?

Gimme a Y! Gimme
an E! Gimme an S!

Oh, boy. All right.

Well, if there's any more underwear
activity, give me a call, all right?

All right.

So I hope things
are going well for you,

a little less hectic
than they are here.

Someone's at the door. Come in.

It's Ben.

Say hi.

Hi.

Who is that? Sally?
Still making those?

Um, so I will talk back
soon. Love, Felicity.

So, uh, what did you say?

On the tape? Yeah.

Uh, nothing. It's private.

Really?

I asked her if, um...

She thought Noel or
Julie would ever forgive us.

Oh.

Yeah.

So are you sorry that
you went with me?

I'm sorry that you spent the
rest of the summer in Mexico.

I'm serious. Do you
think it was a mistake?

I think...

I wish it weren't
so complicated.

Yeah. Me too.

So Julie moving in here...

So you wouldn't be comfortable.

No. I don't care.

I'm not sure if she's
gonna be comfortable,

you know, considering
the circumstances.

Well... What circumstances?

Just the fact, you
know, that Felicity and I,

well, we might start dating.

What the hell is
that expression?

Well...

Felicity is not exactly
the girl you date.

Oh, she's not?

No. She's the girl you marry.

Ben, I swear to God, I'm
eight years older than you.

When you were born, I was
already in little league, okay?

That's a lifetime of experience.

What did you play? First base.

Were you any good?
Yeah. I was pretty good.

Ben, listen to me,
okay? I like Felicity,

but, I mean, you're
not ready for that.

You know, she is this thoughtful,
challenging, complicated girl

who examines the world
she sees, and you're...

You're, like...
You're, like, this idiot.

I mean, it's not your fault.

I mean, you're a young guy.

I'm telling you, man,

you get caught up in this,
and it's drama, and it's pain,

and then you've blown the
relationship for the rest of your life.

Well, I'll tell you what.

You do what you
want about Julie,

and I'll do what I
want about Felicity.

All right? I like
her. I can't help it.

We idiots like
Felicity, all right?

I can't believe it. I used to
just hope I'd run into him,

and now here we are kissing in
the back room and making plans.

Elena says she saw it coming.

Did I tell you this part?

That when Noel
got back from Berlin,

he found a two-bedroom
sublet right above Epstein Bar.

He called Elena to ask if she knew
anyone looking for an apartment.

She said, "Uh, yeah, me."

Elena was the greatest.

She called me to
make sure I didn't mind.

I told her I was jealous.

Getting your own apartment
sounds so amazing.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. It's heavy.

This is amazing.

Uh, well, I should go.

No way! I'm getting you a drink.

T this.

A real fridge.

No more of that
two-foot square crap.

Thanks.

Nice, huh?

Living room, kitchen,

Noel's room, my room, bathroom.

I can give a tour
without even moving.

All right.

To your great new place.

Congratulations. Thanks.

I know just being here is
making you uncomfortable.

No. It's fine.

Whatever.

Has he, uh...

Mentioned anything about me?

No.

Which worries me.

Well, dish on Ben.
What's the latest?

Uh... I don't... Things are...

Things are good. They're good?

Are they good or are they good?

I mean, how good?

They're good. They're not good.

So when are they gonna get good?

Ha ha! I don't...

Hey.

Um, I bought a new table.

Cool.

How's it going?

Good. Thanks.

I gotta go back to the store.

Uh, there's a chair
I might wanna get.

That's a great...
I like your place.

I'm glad.

Being an R.A. is a
lot harder than it looks.

I'm pretty sure I've
given horrible advice

at least a dozen
times already, so...

You'll get the hang of it.

If I can do it, anybody can.

No. You were actually
really good at it.

Thank you.

I called you in Berlin.
Someone answered.

Oh, yeah? Hmm.

Must have been Beth.

Beth? Was she, uh,
was she in the program?

No.

Oh.

Berlin turned out
to be wonderful.

It was the best three
months of my life.

I mean, I was a
little annoyed at first,

wondering what you
were doing with Ben,

whether you were
staying in motels

or just camping out, you know?

Wondering what
positions you guys were in,

whether he was on
top or you were on top.

Noel.

I'm just being honest. I was wondering
the same things about you and Ben

that you were just
thinking about me and Beth.

This is so horrible...

The way we're talking
to each other right now.

You think so? I don't know.

I think it's kind of liberating,
saying exactly what you feel.

I mean, somehow, it
makes me feel better,

telling you that I slept with
Beth and that she was great.

So what is this, a revenge?

I don't think so.

I think it just feels
good to settle the score.

Make sure you know
there's some parity.

It's not a competition.

Well, whatever it is, it's over.

I can honestly say,

without any sense
of uncertainty,

that I never want
to see you again.

I know we will. We
go to the same college.

I just don't want to.

But I'm glad you
like the apartment.

We're not here! Leave a
message or just hang up!

What are you doing?

Last year, we used your outgoing
message. This year, it's mine.

What's the bug up your
butt? Just lay off, okay?

What?

Just tell me. Come
on. Just lay off.

Look, if you're still mad

because I told everyone
you only had sex once...

I'm not in the mood for another
one of your sarcastic remarks, okay?

Well, you're right.

I thought about it and
that was really screwed up.

And like they said at Wicca camp, everything
you put out, you get back times three,

so... See what I'm doing here?

I'm trying to be a
good roommate.

Well, that's...

Really weird.

I know. So...

Come on. Just, uh...

Just tell me. What's going on?

When I chose Ben,

it's just... It's had a
really horrible ripple effect

on everything.

I mean, I knew that
I would hurt Noel

and Julie, but knowing
that intellectually

and then having to
live that... I'm sorry.

Uh... I can't do this.

Ah, you're just gonna
pour your heart out

and I'm gonna say
something sarcastic.

I just know I will,
so we should stop.

Okay. Okay.

Okay! We're the
Hartford Dingoes,

and we're stepping in style.

We know we're number
one. We're gonna stay awhile.

We're the Hartford Dingoes
and we always keep our cool.


We'll always conquer your
team when they take us in a duel.

I say, hey, we got the power.

It's boiling hot.

We're gonna rock
steady till we almost drop.

That was great.

Excuse me. I'm moving out.

Hey! Hi.

The front door was
open. Come on in.

How was your
summer? Hot as hell.

I just got the air conditioning
fixed. You looking for Ben?

Yeah, yeah. Is he here?

No.

Uh, Javier called. He
had to go to work. So...

Oh.

Hey, what's going on?

I'm moving in for a while.

What's going on with you?

Uh, nothing.

Okay.

She's moving in?

She said she was
moving in for a while.

Sean didn't mention that?

No. He asked me
what I thought about it,

but he didn't say
he was gonna do it.

What do you think about it?

I don't care.

Well, of course you care.

I swear to God, I don't care.

I really don't.
Hello, lovebirds.

Hi. Um, I need you at the
register. That's why I pay you.

All right. I'll be
there in one second.

Okay.

Don't worry about Julie
moving in, 'cause it's fine.

It really doesn't matter.

Yeah. I'm sure
you're right. I'm sure.

It's... It's just
a little weird.

Yes. I know.

Listen. I want to
tell you something.

Yeah. What?

Guess what?

Love is blind, but
my customers are not.

Well, most of them.

So I need you to maybe
earn your wage, please, okay?

Okay.

Nice top. I like that. Thanks.

We can't talk here. Do
you want to go out tonight?

Are you free? Sure.

Okay. I'll pick you
up around 8:00.

Okay. All right.

Benjamin! All right.

He wants to tell me something.
That's classic code, isn't it?

He's about to break up with me.

Unless it's nothing.

Whatever. I'm not
gonna over-think this.

I'm just gonna go out, and
I'm gonna have a good time.

God, this first
week is exhausting.

The way it looks to me,
you're playing with fire.

I could not take
those cheerleaders.

You know this has nothing
to do with those cheerleaders.

You living with Ben
is just gonna get ugly.

Trust me. I'm living with Noel,

and I already see it happening.

Oh, it's not the same thing.
No. It's not the same thing,

because Noel and
Felicity broke up.

Felicity and Ben
are just starting out.

Yeah, well, there's not a
chance that they're gonna last.

No, not with you
living in the loft.

Okay. The Blair Witch
Project goes on at 10:15.

I'm not seeing that movie.

Oh, it's scary! It's good.

All right, well, the Film
Forum has Spinal Tap.

I've never seen that.

You never saw Spinal Tap?

Oh, my God.

Hi. Hi.

Well, this isn't awkward.

No. We're all adults.
We can handle this.

I haven't seen you
yet. How you doing?

Hi. You haven't seen me, either.

How come you don't
say hi to me, Ben?

Hi, Noel.

Hi, Ben.

All right, so what
movie are we seeing?

Let's go see whatever
starts in the next two minutes.

We should probably go.

No! You guys
stay. We're leaving.

Unless you wanna come
see the movie with us.

Noel...

What? I'm allowed
to invite Felicity,

and the guy that she chose
over me, to the movies.

You don't have to be
such a d*ck about this.

I think this is exactly the
amount of d*ck that I need to be.

Is this an example
of the new Noel?

Shut up, okay? You shut up!

Don't tell me to shut
up. Be nice to Elena.

You talk to me again,
I will kick your ass.

You're gonna kick my ass? How?

Using a computer?
Noel, just relax!

No, this is me relaxed!

I'm sorry. Is that
what you want?

All right, let's go.
Come on, let's go.

No! No! I'm not going.
I'm not going anywhere.

Let's just... Guys, let's go
see The Blair Witch Project.

I told you I'm not
going to see that movie.

What... What did you
want to talk to me about?

Probably how things are
getting too serious, right, Ben?

You know what?
I can't take this.

I'm gonna go. You coming?

No. I'm not leaving
just because of this.

Well, then you're either stronger
than I am or you're a masochist.

Are you gonna come with me?

No.

All right.

Gets up and goes
pretty well, doesn't he?

Noel, I need to
borrow some money.

Oh! Who knew that was coming?

What is that supposed to mean?

Nothing, Elena. It
doesn't mean anything.

This blows.

Is this what the rest of
the year's gonna be like?

Who is it?

It's me.

Come in.

Hey.

Hey.

We, uh, we never got to talk.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

I was just thinking that.

It's kind of driving me crazy.

Can I say something first?

Sure. You usually do.

Um...

If this is a breakup...

Not that we were
ever even really dating,

but, um, could
you just do it fast?

I mean, you know,

don't stammer and
talk searchingly.

Just, you know, say it.

"This isn't gonna work out."

That way, it's
not water t*rture.

I wanted to make
sure that you know,

that you really understand

that Julie moving in
doesn't mean anything.

I don't want you to
be worried about that.

I wanted to say that I'm
happy we're doing this.

I'm so happy we're doing this.

I wanted to say
that I missed you

when I was in Mexico.

Just so you know, I didn't
mean what I said last night.

What, calling me cheapo?

No. I didn't call
you cheapo. I just...

Look, I felt I'd been spending
a lot of money recently,

but I know... I know
that you have, too.

Damn right. That
table cost me 90 bucks.

I know, so I'm sorry.

Okay?

I know things are not
easy for you right now,

between you and Felicity,

but we're living together,

and if things are gonna work
out, we've gotta trust each other.

Well, that's kind
of hard, you know?

You guys are
really good friends.

I know that,

but if there's something going
on that you want to talk about,

I won't say anything if
you don't want me to.

I... I had an affair
with Dr. McGrath.

What?

I asked him out,
and he said yes,

and we started
sleeping together.

He even gave me a better grade,

even though I didn't ask.

But I...

I didn't turn it down, either.

You slept with that guy?

"What I Did On My Summer
Vacation," by Elena Tyler.

Whew.

He called a few weeks ago

and said it wasn't gonna work
out, and he hasn't called again.

Oh, my God. You
slept with that guy?

No one knows. No one but you.

Ohh! Ugh!

So now you have something on me.

Yeah. So from now on,

I want you to be honest with me.

All right?

Okay.

That...

Is the ugliest table
I've ever seen.

Really? Oh, yeah.

Ugh! No!

No! Look at it! Ninety bucks?

You know, I meant
what I said last night.

If you're gonna be mad
at someone, be mad at me.

Are you giving me
permission to be mad at you?

Oh, boy.

No. I'm just saying don't
take it all out on Felicity.

It's my fault, too.

I know whose fault it was.

After this summer, after
everything I've gone through,

I realized who I trust and
give my heart to is my choice,

and last year, I
just chose badly.

Oh.

And I was mad at you last night,

but I'm not consumed by this.

My life is a lot more
than you and Felicity.

Did you break it
off with Felicity yet?

Sean, can you lay off, please?

I'm not paying rent so I can
get att*cked by everybody.

I'm just thinking about it, though.
She came to New York because of you.

Yes. Think about
what that means for her.

What if she's

in love with you?

In love? Yeah.

Sean, what's your problem?

I'm just asking 'cause I don't
want you to get broadsided

by this emotional Mack Truck.

Would you still want to date her
if you knew that she loved you?

Yes. I like her.

No. You're not listening
to my question, okay?

This isn't about you,
Ben. This is about her.

Look me in the eyes and tell me,

"If I knew Felicity loved me,
I wouldn't get freaked out."

No. I'm not gonna do that. Okay,
then you gotta end this thing.

If I knew Felicity loved me,
I wouldn't get freaked out.

Say it again.

If I knew Felicity loved me...

I wouldn't get freaked out.

You're not ready for this.

You know, you are the
most annoying landlord.

End it.

Okay? Trust me.

I know what I'm talking about.
Before it kills you. This like a melanoma.

Is there any way
you can move out?

How could you tell him
he could have a ferret?

The freak said he wanted one.

The freak? Why did you
become an R.A. to begin with?

Hi.

Hi.

You have to come
help me with this.

No. I'm going out.
You deal with it.

She told one of our advisees
he could have a ferret.

Will you just help me?

This guy, his roommate's
allergic. It's gross.

Do you mind just
waiting a little bit?

No. Sure.

I have to go deal with...

Some ferrets. Yeah.

So, you and Ben, huh?

Sort of.

You guys doing it yet?

No.

So when do you think you will?

Do it?

Are you trying to be annoying?

Kind of.

He's cute, I guess.

Yeah, he is.

I can't believe it.

I used to just hope
I'd run into him,

and now here we are kissing in
the back room and making plans.

All I know is, I want this
feeling to last the rest of my life.

God, Sally, I don't
know what this is,

but I think...

I mean...

Maybe it's love.
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