02x07 - Getting Lucky

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Felicity". Aired: September 29, 1998 –; May 22, 2002.*
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Follows Felicity to NYC after high school as she navigates life and discovers who she really is.
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02x07 - Getting Lucky

Post by bunniefuu »

ANNOUNCER:
Previously on Felicity...

Let's go away for the weekend.

Ben, I can't.

Is it work?

Maggie, your
husband's on line one.

ELENA: What's up with new guy?

David?

I'm calling him "new guy."

I'm actually really confused

about things with new guy.

I probably should
have told you, too.

That Noel and I...
Well, we used to go out.

My big concern

has been that I'm just not ready

to trust someone again.

Dear Sally...

So I've met someone.

Someone who's had
a real effect on my life.

He's mysterious.

I don't know where he's
from or what his name is, but...

I'm calling him Lucky.

The whole thing
started with David.

Since our first kiss, things
between us have been great.

I'll see you later?

Definitely.

Anyway, that morning,

I was on my way back
from David's when I saw him.

He was absolutely the
saddest thing I'd ever seen.

But he was friendly and sweet,
and he didn't have a collar.

So I took him. I didn't
know what else to do.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

What the hell is that?

I was walking back from
David's and I found him.

Isn't he so cute?

Cute for a what?

Can we come in?

I don't know.

What kind of diseases are
you gonna track in here?

I'm sure he doesn't
have any diseases.

Not him, you.

I told you,

it wasn't mono. I had the flu.

You're not gonna catch anything.

And what do you mean,

walking back from David's?

Are you spending
the night there?

Last night, first time.

Look, he feels at
home here. He likes it.

Okay, I already know
what you're thinking,

and let me preempt your plan.

There's not a
chance in the world

that I'm adopting a Ret*rded
dog. Get down from there!

Wait. Here, I'll get him.

Come here, Lucky.

Get down, you sweetie.

So, did you score?

No, I didn't score.

We're just, I don't know...
We're not in a hurry.

Like tonight, he just wants to
stay home and rent a movie.

Oh, that's it.

That's what? Sex!

FELICITY: You think?

It's code. Universal code.

I mean, you go out for a while,

a dinner, a movie, and then...

The rental.

Hey.

Oh, my God!

Felicity claims it's a dog.

FELICITY: I just
found him today,

and he's got the
sweetest disposition.

I mean, he just
needs a little love.

Oh, it's amazing. He looks,
he looks just like Woofie,

my neighbor's dog in Boston.

I loved Woofie.

I mean, I was allergic as hell.

Two minutes with
Woofie, and... (SNIFFS)

My eyes would puff up,
my face would break out,

my windpipe would
just, like, shut down.

(BARKS)

Oh, I guess he wants the tour.

I love this. You know, they
say you outgrow your allergies,

and I have.

I finally get to play
with Woofie. (BARKING)

Oh!

Come here, Woofie.
Come on. Oh, you like...

Look, I'm going to
put up a few signs,

make sure no
one's looking for him.

But could he stay here until
I find a place for him to live?

He can't stay at the dorm.

How come your good deed
turns into my good deed?

It'll just be for a few days.

It's up to Noel.

Noel, is it okay if the dog
stays here for a few days?

I'm not... I'm not sure.

(SNIFFLES)

You know, I think I still
might be a little allergic.

(DOG BARKING) (BOTH LAUGHING)

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

Okay, Lucky,
this is your doctor,

and she's gonna clean you up.

Come on, fella. Let's go.

Let's go.

So, you excited?

No, I'm nervous. I don't
know what to do with him.

Well, you can always
get another sex book.

I was talking about the dog.

So was I.

No, I'm just kidding.

Tonight's the night.
You're gonna score.

Why is it that all you ever
think about is my sex life?

Because I don't have one.

And because
it's your first time.

Excuse me... Second time.

Yeah, but it's your first time
with a guy you actually know.

So that was the plan, I guess.

David and I were going
to rent a movie and...

You know, score.

The one thing
standing in the way,

I had to find a place for Lucky.

Elena's was out,
the dorm was out,

but I had an idea.

Javier was great.

He said yes. With one catch...

Lucky had to meet Mami.

(LATIN MUSIC PLAYING)

So, does she...

Shh!

Mami's mulling it over.

She needs time to adjust.

Hey! What are you doing here?

I went over to Tower and
rented us some movies.

Shh! Keep your voices down.

Mami's concentrating.

So, how's this going?
Is he going to take him?

The verdict's still out.

Oh. Good luck.

I'm gonna get some work done.

Okay. See you later.

All right.

Oh...

Look at Mami.
She's upset with me.

What?

She's insulted that I
would even consider this.

She doesn't look insulted.

She's pissed now! Look!

So you don't want Lucky.

I do.

But Mami doesn't, okay?

(MEOWS)

JAVIER: Look at me
when you talk to me.

What am I gonna
do with you, Lucky?

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Hey! Oh, wow.

He's a stray,

and he needs a place to
stay for a couple of days.

Would you take him?

(LAUGHS)

Yeah, sure, I'll take him.

Seriously? Yeah!

Because it's only
for a couple of days.

Oh, yeah, why not? I haven't
had a dog since I was 10.

Hokey, a cockapoo.

Oh, man, that was a dog.

Unbelievable. It
was a great little dog.

(YIPPING)

Hey!

FELICITY: Oh!
Lucky, don't do that.

Put that down, Lucky.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No...

(FELICITY LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

Whoa!

(BARKING)

No, uh...

Ok, I don't think
this is going to work.

Got it.

I feel so guilty. She's
so mad with me.

She'll be fine. Felicity
doesn't hold grudges.

No, not her. Mami.

Mami? Yes!

She hates me now.

I'm very psychical
with animals, Ben.

Really?

I know what they're feeling
sometimes, you know.

I can't go to the zoo.
You know, it's horrible.

Like that Dr. Eliza Doolittle.

No, that's My Fair
Lady. I love that.

♪ Just you wait and you'll see ♪

Will you excuse me
for a second, Javier?

Benjamin.

What's going on?

Can I get you anything?

No. I wanted to see you.

Well, I'm working,

so if you want a
coffee or something...

What if I told you I
was still interested?

I don't understand.

Yes, you do.

Maggie, come on.

Ben, if you're not interested,
just tell me to go away.

JAVIER: Benjamin.

Coming.

Have you seen my pink shirt?

I swear I put it in the wash.

It's not a cheap shirt, either.

Oh, my God. Uh...

The... The dog ate it.

What?

You've lived here this long,
never knew we had a dog?

What? I'm kidding.

Um, Felicity brought
over a stray dog and...

And he was just
really attracted, um,

to your shirt. It was weird.

I haven't even worn this yet.

Got a special occasion tonight?

I have a date. A
guy named Seven.

Seven?

Seven's his name?

I know.

What is he, a Borg?

He's cute. I don't know. I
met him at the Cafe Habana.

He's a poet.

Oh, well, have fun.

I'm gonna have sex, Jack.

What?

(LAUGHS)

Me and my friend
used to say that.

It's from a movie.
Somebody says, "Have fun,"

and somebody else says,
"I'm gonna have sex, Jack."

Oh, yeah. What
movie... Wait, wait... Um...

Oh, God, it's familiar. Oh, God.

Yeah, it's the...

"I'm gonna have sex, Jack."

Wait, you know it.

Yeah, it's, um... Oh, come on.

Wait a second. Wait a second.

"I'm gonna have sex, Jack."
"Gonna have sex, Jack."

Oh, this is gonna
drive me crazy.

FELICITY: So things
were looking desperate.

Lucky was homeless,
and it was already dark out.

But then someone
came to the rescue.

The man I was
about to score with.

(WHIMPERING)

He can stay here.

Really?

Sure, until you find a
permanent place for him.

That is so amazing of you.

Finally, I'm getting lucky.

Is that the only reason
you're taking him?

So I can make
that bad joke? Yes.

I ordered dinner from Bouley.

Wow!

And we can watch
whichever movie you want.

(WHIMPERS)

♪ Can't even be real

(LUCKY WHIMPERS)

♪ It's so real ♪

(MOANS)

I have a condom.

Wait, wait.

I'm sorry. We hadn't talked
about this. Is it too soon?

No, no, no. It's...

It's Lucky.

To have a condom?

Lucky, the dog. He's...

He's staring at us, and
it's just freaking me out.

Really?

Yeah. I'm sorry. I just...

I just can't have sex
with him watching us.

Done.

What are you going to do?

Okay, just stay there. Good dog.

There.

You can't just
leave him in there.

It's comfortable. Like
his own little condo.

He'll be fine.

(LUCKY WHIMPERING)

(BARKING)

You okay? Uh-huh.

(LUCKY CONTINUES WHIMPERING)

(LUCKY BARKS AND WHIMPERS)

Do you hear that?

(LUCKY WHINES)

That whining?

No.

(LUCKY BARKS)

(LUCKY BARKS)

Yeah, that really sounds like
he needs to go out for a walk.

Something like that.

(LUCKY BARKS)

Do you want to come with me?

Sure. (LUCKY BARKS)

Some air would be nice.

FELICITY: So we didn't
have sex that night because...

Well, because of the dog,

which was actually okay with me.

And that night...

All of us slept really soundly.

ELENA: You didn't have
sex because of the dog?

He was, uh, he was watching us.

He's a dog.

Then put him somewhere
where he can't see.

He was whining.

Look, there are a zillion
dog owners in this country,

and they all manage... To score.

I know, I know.

Can we just not talk about this?

You don't want to have
sex with him, do you?

No, I... Of course I do.

And you're using this mutt
as an excuse to avoid it.

No, I'm not.

It makes perfect sense,

given your issues with sex.

Oh, my God.

I do not have issues with sex.

Okay.

I don't!

Then why didn't you
ever do it with Noel?

You dated him for almost a year.

Because I wasn't ready.

Interesting.

And what about Ben?

And with Ben, I...

Didn't have sex because I also

wasn't fully prepared.

Exactly.

(WHISPERING) Sean?

(SNORES) Turkey.

What?

What?

48 Hours.

What? "Have fun."

And then Eddie Murphy says,
"I'm gonna have sex, Jack."

(LAUGHS)

Oh, yeah, 48 Hours.

I just remembered
that in my dream.

Has that ever happened to you?

So is your date here?

No! Oh, my God.

So, it was... Your
date, it wasn't good?

No, it was good. It was okay.

Oh, good.

Hey. Hey.

What are you doing up so early?

I just went for a run.

BEN: You got a second?

Yeah.

Do you mind giving
us a couple minutes?

No. I'm going to go back to bed.

(DOOR CLOSES)

It turns out Maggie...
Maggie's married.

Huh.

Which is crazy, I mean,

what am I gonna do,
break up a marriage?

You know, but she must
be really unhappy, though,

so part of me feels
like, who cares? Right?

And then I can't believe
I'm thinking like that.

You know?

Hey, Sean.

Sean!

Sean! I need some advice here.

Oh, dude, I'm sorry.
I'm a little, I'm like,

I'm preoccupied right now.

What's going on?
No, I'm just distracted.

(STAMMERING) Can we talk
about this when I'm... Okay?

Sean, I'm just
freaking out here.

Okay, we'll talk about it.

Okay. All right.

Sorry.

FELICITY: How I became an R.A.

who breaks the rules she's
supposed to be enforcing,

I don't know.

(WHIMPERS)

Okay, I'm going to sit you
down right there, all right?

Okay.

Hey, that is a
pathetic looking dog.

Listen, I have a
favor to ask you.

Me, too. You go first.

I have a date
tonight with David.

It's very important to me,

and it absolutely can't
be interrupted by this dog,

and there's nowhere
else for him to stay.

Could you please, and I
would owe you enormously,

watch him for a half-hour now
so I can go get him some food

and then dog-sit him tonight?

I'm begging you.

Sure.

What? Really?

Yeah, no problem.

Seriously?

Wait, what's your favor?

Can I borrow your computer?

Uh, apparently. Thanks.

I've got, uh, "homework."

Okay, Lucky, I'm going to go,

but Meghan's going to
take care of you, okay?

And I'll be right
back. You just relax.

His name's Lucky. I don't care.

Okay.

FELICITY: Bye.

(WHIMPERS)

Hey.

Hi.

Uh, if my being here gives
you the impression of stalking,

I apologize.

I, uh, just want to cut
to the chase, if possible.

I don't want to play games. I don't
feel like going back to high school.

I just want to, uh... I just
want to be clear about this.

What do you mean?

I, um...

I want to have
an affair with you.

I'm an adult. I understand and
accept the implications of that.

The real risk is mine.

I won't bore you or involve you

with the details of my
marriage. I promise you that.

You're giving me a credit card?

Uh, no.

That's the key to room 1125.

The Dakota Hotel.

And if I don't see you tonight,

I will never ask you out again.

But, uh...

I do hope to see you.

Where's Lucky?

I don't know.

I think he went for
a walk or something.

He went for a walk?

I think he had to go pee.

What is he supposed
to do, pee in the hallway?

He's not peeing in here.

(LAUGHTER)

Lucky?

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

Lucky?

Lucky?

(LAUGHTER)

What are you guys doing?

We're feeding it beer.

What?

You can't give a dog beer!

Do you know how sick he'll get?

Come here, honey. No.

(SEXY ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

(HEAVY BREATHING)

I like your butterfly tattoo.

BEN: What?

It's not my only one.

FELICITY: So I couldn't
find a place for Lucky,

which I figured was an omen.

I wasn't supposed to have sex.

Of course, Elena
thought I was avoiding,

so she insisted on keeping
the dog for the night.

With one condition,

that I actually have sex.

(GROWLING)

Hey, he's back! Elena! What?

(GROWLING)

What?

Well, look what
he's doing! Lucky!

Lucky.

Ah!

NOEL: So we agreed
to watch this dog why?

Uh, Felicity had
to go to the library.

Oh, great. She's going out.

Does she have a
short-term memory problem?

Look, have you
ever heard of dander?

My trachea is in the
process of closing.

(LIQUID FLOWING)

Oh, my God!

Get away from there!

(WHIMPERS)

Did you want that
house to have a pool?

(BEEPER GOES OFF)

(LAUGHS)

This condom has an alarm on it.

That's my beeper.

Do you really
need to look at it?

I'm sorry. It's just
for emergencies.

It's Elena.


The thing is, uh, she has Lucky.

Do you mind if I use your phone?

Sorry. It'll just be a second.

Please, take your time.

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

Hello? Hi. Yeah, I
hate to bother you,

but your dog just bit me!

Lucky bit you?

Oh. Great.

I would really appreciate it
if you could come take away

this potentially
rabies-infected freak of nature.

I'll be, I'll be right over.

You're not at the
library, are you?

Um... no.

Uh, you're at David's?

Yeah, but I'll be right over.

No, no, um...

Forget it.

No, no, no. I'll come get him.

No, no, no. Just stay, okay?

He bit your finger.

It's fine. It's...

It's just a little flesh wound.

Noel, I'm... I'm coming over.

No. Look, I don't want you to.

Look, just give me
20 minutes, okay?

All right.

He wants me to come get the dog.

Right now?

Yeah. I guess the
bite's pretty bad.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

Cujo here?

He's at David's. Good.

You know, it's so nice to
come home to your own house

and not be att*cked by a dog.

Ask Noel. Ask Noel what?

I'm not talking
to him about this.

Why? He's got firsthand
experience with it.

Felicity's sex issues.

Oh.

Don't say "Oh"
like you understand.

Oh, I understand. No, you don't.

I'll leave you two alone.

I'm not talking
to you about this.

Elena's, you know, making a
much bigger deal of it than it really is.

Is this about last night?

It's complicated.

So you and, uh,

David haven't, you know...

Have you and Ruby?

Uh-huh.

(FELICITY LAUGHS QUIETLY)

So my advisee's
healthier than I am.

You're not unhealthy.

You're a romantic.

You know, which is what
I love most about you.

Look, you want sex to
mean something, and...

It should.

Yeah, something.

I put so much importance on it,

that it never ends up happening.

As you know.

Look, I'm actually...

I'm actually glad that it
never happened between us.

What?

Well, for example, Ruby.

Um, I like her a lot.

But...

And I don't want to go
into detail, but it was nice.

But afterwards...

I knew.

Knew what?

What it was like...

To be with her.

Not that I like her any less.

It's just that...

I don't know. The
mystery's gone.

But with you and me...
(TELEPHONE RINGS)

ELENA: It's David.

Hey. What's up?

He is?

Oh, my God. No, I'll
come get him right now.

Lucky's sick.

Really? Yeah, he's
not eating anything.

MAGGIE: For how many people?

Yes, we're definitely available.

(LOUD KISSES)

I do everything.

Flowers, food, rentals, bar.

Uh, do you have our
price sheet in front of you?

Uh, how much do you
want to spend per plate?

That's nice. It's really nice.

Uh, the pepper-seared Ahi
Tuna with crispy baby spinach.

Yes, that's fantastic.

All right.

Uh, in a ponzu sauce.

Okay, thanks.

♪ Between good and good we sweat

♪ And they call their own,
just wanna make this... ♪

ELENA: You like
being with him, right?

FELICITY: Yeah, of
course. David... He's great.

Well, then just be with him.

Don't put so much
pressure on yourself.

I can't help it. I mean...

Especially now that I know
I'm secretly avoiding sex.

Well, it's all my fault.

No, it's not.

I'm the one who pointed
it out in the first place.

Ok, you're right.
It is your fault.

But only partly. I'm still
the one with the problem.

(DOOR OPENS)

Lucky! How is he?

I'm afraid I have some bad news.

Your dog has distemper.

What?

It's a viral infection
of the brain.

Uh, how expensive
is the treatment?

Unfortunately, there is none.

It just continues to worsen.

Your choices are either

to let the disease
run its course,

which is very
painful for the animal,

or to put him down.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Okay, close your eyes.

Close your eyes. Okay.

All right. Just a little more.

Okay, look.

That's the largest one they had.

It's big enough for 10 Luckys,

so he'll be extra comfortable.

And more
importantly, so will we.

That's... That's great.

What's wrong?

Um...

I'm just, uh, not
in the best mood.

Okay... Forget about it, though.

Am I doing something wrong?

No. Because I'm
getting the distinct feeling

you don't want to be here.

David, it's not... No, I do.

I just... Uh, Lucky...

You know, first it's
that he watches us.

Then he makes too much noise.

Then he bites your
ex-boyfriend's finger.

Felicity, how many more times
are you going to turn me down

because of this dog?

If it's that you don't want
to be here, then just say it,

because this
excuse is getting old.

It's not an excuse.

It sure feels like it.

What do you want me to do,
put the dog back out on the street?

DAVID: I offered
to keep it here.

I feed it, I take it on walks.

I spent $90 on that crate.

So, what, I owe you?

No. My point is that I'm making
every effort to make this work,

and you're not.

You know what?
You're right. I'm not.

I obviously shouldn't be here.

Good morning.

Morning.

Thanks for letting me
stay here last night.

No problem. I'm
getting used to it.

How's he doing?

He was in pain all last night.

He wouldn't even
play with Mr. Gorilla.

So I think I'm gonna do it.

I'll go with you if you want.

That'd be good.

I'll get everything ready

and give you some
time alone with him.

Thank you.

You're such a good boy, Lucky,

a good, good boy.

He wasn't that good.

(SNIFFLES) He must
have had a tough life.

Being alone.

Nobody to love you.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

DAVID: May I come in?

Yeah. Hey.

NOEL: David.

Hi, Noel.

I'm gonna go. My, uh...

My respiratory system's
about to shut down, so...

I'll, uh, I'll call you later.

Thanks, for everything.

I spoke with Elena, and
she told me you were here.

Yeah, unfortunately.

(SNIFFLES)

I wish you had told
me about this last night.

Are you ready?

I guess so.

You're a good boy.

Good, good boy.

Good boy.

Good boy.

Good boy.

(MOUTHING SILENTLY)

That poor dog. I'm going to cry.

Javier, come on.
Please, don't cry, okay?

I'm sorry, you know.
I'm very emotional.

Not like you, I'm not this brute,
you know. I have emotions.

Right. You're an animal psychic.

I forgot about that.

You know, Mami didn't like him,

but he was a sweetie
pie, you know?

Yeah, I could tell that
from our first meeting.

I knew, I knew Mami wouldn't
like him. Javier, it's okay.

Excuse me? Hey, guys.

I'd like to order a cake.

Uh, Javier, Javier. I'm
going to go in the back, okay?

No, no, I'm going to the back.

I'm going to compose myself...

Javier. Javier.

Why don't you take care
of this customer, all right?

It'll take your mind
off things, okay?

No, I can't deal with
people now, okay?

Look at me. I'm all
flushing. I'm all emotional.

I'm crimson.

So, uh, what is it you wanted?

A cake.

A cake. Mm-hmm.

Well, what kind of cake?

Well, uh, my wife, Maggie
Sherwood, she's a caterer.

She uses you guys
all the time. Yeah.

She says you make an
amazing berry cake. Yes. Yeah.

I figure since it's
for our anniversary,

she should have some say in it.

It's your anniversary.

Yeah, and can you
decorate it for me?

You want me to decorate it?

Well, someone. Because I'd
like to have a butterfly put on it.

You know, in frosting.

A butterfly. Yeah,
yeah, she loves them.

Okay, sure. We can do that.

All right, terrific.

It's so quiet.

Yeah.

Kind of lonely.

You were right.

I was using the
dog as an excuse.

I've...

Slept with, uh...

One other person before, and...

It was only one time.

I mean, I barely even knew him.

I've never done it with someone

I cared about.

So anyway,

it would have been

my first time.

If we would have...

Before I met you,

I didn't even want to
get involved with anyone.

And now I'm spending time
with someone I really care about.

I don't know how this is
going to go between us.

Neither of us does.

But right now, we
have a very good thing,

and I don't want
to screw that up.

Neither do I.

So if you're not ready,
then we shouldn't do it.

Really? Really.

Thank you.

(LAUGHS)

This is better. We can just...

Enjoy ourselves.

Yeah.

Just without all the pressure.

Just let things happen
when they happen.

Sounds good.

What about now?

Now?

Yeah. Now.

FELICITY: Like I said,

Lucky had a
profound effect on me

and on my
relationship with David.

Here you go.

So how'd it go last night?

I mean, aside from the dog?

You mean me and David?

Uh-huh.

It was good.

Good.

Is it gone?

What?

The mystery?

Noel, come on.

What? What's that smile?

Nothing. Uh...

It's just that...

Now you and I have something

that you and David don't.

Can you... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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