01x17 - Sunday Night Slice

[bunniefuu]

(Bugs)
So, uh, did you have wonder
how Speedy got his pizza place?

- Not really.
- I wasn't talking to you.

(Bugs)
Well, it all started
at a baseball game.

- Then who are you talking to?
- Just watch.

[crowd cheering]

Strike one!

Oho! You choked!
You're the world's worst!

- I'd watch it if I were you.
- What? They love it!

Hey, Rodriguez!
You have a stupid face!

Strike two!

Break out the aloe vera.
This guy just got b*rned.

Daffy, come on.

I bet you're a terrible
husband and father!

Strike three!

[laughs]

crash

thud

And he's out!

[theme music]

Which hospital are we going to?

We're not going to a hospital.

We're going to Girardi's
for pizza.

But what if I have a concussion?

You know what they say.

Starve a cold,
feed a head injury.

(Porky)
'Besides, we go to Girardi's
every Sunday.'

I-it's tradition.

(Bugs)
'Closed?'

Ah, if it isn't
my favorite customers

Bugs, Porky and, uh, this guy.

I'm so glad I got to see you
before we left.

- Where you going?
- Back to Italy.

Mrs. Girardi and I,
we made out a fortune.

- It's time to retire.
- Oh, that's nice.

Nice? It's terrible!
We love this place.

Oh, isn't that sweet.

I'll miss making you
those carrot pizzas.

Arrivederci,Bugs.
Arrivederci,Porky.

See you later, buddy.

Now what are we gonna do?

- It's no Girardi's.
- You're too sentimental.

Mmm.
This stuff's delicious.

Here's some more pork ribs.

Y-you know, I-I find
that highly offensive.

Why? You eat pepperoni pizza.

- So?
- Pepperoni?

Uh, what?

Hmm. Urgh!

We need our old hangout back.

B-but Mr. Girardi's selling
the restaurant.

- Then I'll buy it.
- Phoo. That's brilliant!

I've always wanted
to own a restaurant.

You wouldn't own it.
I would.

- Hmm.
- You could work there.

[scoffs]
I don't do menial labor.

No, of course, not.

I was thinking you would be

commander-in-chief
of pizza operations.

Commander-in-chief
of pizza operations.

I'll require a uniform
with plenty of medals.

[stammering]
Bugs, as your friend

I think buying Girardi's
is a g-great idea.

Then it's settled.
I'm buying Girardi's pizza.

But as your financial advisor

I-I must warn you that
nine out of ten restaurants

fail in the first year.

You wanna keep coming here
on Sunday nights?

Here's your pulled pork
sandwich.

- Mmm.
- Buy the restaurant.

- I'm here to apply for the job.
- Oh, great. Take a seat.

- No. I mean, sit down.
- Oh, right.

Do you have
any waiting experience?

I wait for the bus every day.

Have you ever waited tables?

Why would I wait for a table?

We're asking the questions here.

Why do you want this job?

- I like pizza.
- That's not good enough.

When you're in the weeds
and the pizzas are flying

'and you're covered
in tomato sauce'

and you don't know
if it's yours or your buddy's

I like pizza will not cut it.

I like pizza
just might get you k*lled!

Any questions?

I thought you were asking
the questions.

Son, I like your moxie.
When can you start?

I'm dependable, hardworking
and a team player.

(Daffy)
How would you handle a robbery?

- Pardon?
- Hypothetical.

screech screech

You're working late, alone.

Suddenly, a masked intruder
bursts in the door

and shouts this is a
robbery.
What do you do?

Let's just say
I would handle the problem.

Excuse me.
I'm about to get a phone
call.

screech screech

Well, your resume seems fine,
but I don't see any references.

This is a robbery!

zap

You're hired.

sizzle

(Speedy)
'Where's all the mozzarella?'

Oh, sorry, Speedy,
I used it all. I'm making pizza.

Ever heard of delivery?

I'm practicing.
I bought Girardi's.

You bought a restaurant?
Why, because it's your dream?

'Because you want to be able
to make something with your'

'own two hands that gives
so much pleasure to so many?'

Or because you want to be
surrounded by

all this cheese?

No, because I want a place
to hang out on Sunday nights.

Hang out? You want a place to
hang out, convert your garage.

Don't buy a restaurant.

Have you ever owned
a restaurant?

- Nope.
- But you worked in restaurant.

Well, surely you've done
a lot of research

about being a restaurateur.

Uh, not really.

Well, don't worry,
you'll be okay

as long as you have
a capable staff.

Which eye patch
do you like better?

This one?

Or this one?

Or both of them?

- 'Ugh.'
- Hope you got a backup plan.

We open the doors
in five minutes.

Porky will be cashier.

You and I will be out front
dealing with the customers.

And you two will be back here
making pizza.

- Any questions?
- How do you make pizza?

[sighs]

You just roll the dough.

Toss the dough.

Spread the sauce.

Sprinkle the cheese and voila!

- Got all that?
- Huh?

Oh, sorry, I was writing
down
a dream I had last night.

You were in it.
You were in it.

You were not in it.

You were in it,
but when you talked

you had a woman's voice.

Ooh! Did I sound pretty?

What do you think you're doing?

Making pizza.

Not anymore. I outrank you.
Step aside.

Ooh!

May I take your order?

Yeah, we'll have a large pizza
half mushroom, half pepperoni.

'And on the mushroom half,
can we get extra sauce'

'and on the pepperoni half,
can we go light on the cheese?'

You got it.

Uh, do you need to write
any of this down?

It's all up here.

- What's the order?
- I think pizza.

Table four still hasn't
gotten their pizza.

'What's going on back here?'

- We're out of pizza dough.
- What?

- 'Where is my pizza?'
- 'You asked for cheese.'

- 'I brought you cheese.'
- 'This is the worst... '

- What do we do?
- We improvise!

Cut those cardboard boxes
into the shape of pizzas!

I deserve another medal
for this.

[indistinct chattering]

What seems to be the problem?

I ordered a cheese pizza
and he gave me

a cup of cheese and an IOU.

We're having some problems
with the crust.

I'll take care of it.

- Ooh! I like the sound of that.
- Here's your refund.

Oh. Don't like the sound
of that.

(Daffy)
'Why didn't you tell me
that cardboard was flammable?'

You're drunk with power.

[gasps]

(Granny)
'Excuse me.'

I said excuse me.

I know. The pizza's awful.
I-I'll take care of it.

But I was just going to ask
for a napkin.

But the pizza is terrible.
Oh!

(Daffy)
'Insubordination!'

[both screaming]

[grunts]

I gave you a direct order!

You're not fit to lead!

[both grunting]

- He started it!
- He started it!

Are you all done
with your pizza?

We never got our pizza.

Thanks for coming!
Tell your friends.

Okay. Who's up for Chinese?

(all)
I am!

Hunan Palace.

Hunan Palace, Hunan Palace.

Party of three?
Right this way.

Ugh.

[stammering]
Do you want the good news
or the bad news?

Give me the bad news.

[stammering]
The restaurant's a disaster.

At this rate,
you'll be-be broke in a
week.

What's the good news?

Hunan Palace s-sent you
a gift basket.

Ooh! Real Italian pepperoni.

chomp chomp

What?

[instrumental music]

[thunder rumbling]

♪ Behold the wizard ♪

♪ Beware his powers ♪

♪ Unspeakable powers ♪

♪ Under the gaze
of the necromancer ♪

♪ A silver staircase
starts to rise ♪

♪ People stand on it
and marvel ♪

♪ At the power sh**ting
from his eyes ♪

♪ Cold food becomes hot again ♪

♪ When his spell ♪

♪ Unfolds ♪

♪ With a mere wave
of his hand ♪

♪ This hot dog will ♪

♪ Explode ♪

♪ In the presence
of the wizard ♪

♪ Traffic will stop
at his whim ♪

♪ He can cross the street
no problem ♪

♪ As the cars bow down
in front of him ♪

♪ Channels on the TV change ♪

♪ He's still in his chair ♪

♪ Then he pulls his magic wand ♪

♪ And reclines in the ♪

♪ Air ♪

(Daffy)
By the dim light
of the dream realm's black sun

the Wizard climbs the frozen
waterfall of Voldrini

in search of Celestia, the
guardian of infinite power.

When suddenly,
a terrible Garlon appears

and att*cks with ice

but the Wizard is undeterred.

The Garlon roars and unleashes
a most sinister wind

but the Wizard is undeterred.

The Garlon summons
the stones of Prophynia

but the Wizard is undeterred.

Calling upon the powers
of the ancients

the Wizard conjures
a sacred fire

and casts his foe
into the molten maw

of an insatiable Gort.

Thanks, Gort.

Ah, Celestia.

I think you're going
to enjoy this.

The Wizard stands on the
precipice of ultimate power.

The gates open to reveal..

Ooh! How long was I asleep?

Three days.
You have a bed, you know.

I'm starving.
I got to get something to eat.

♪ Famished from
his latest quest ♪

♪ The wizard seeks a snack ♪

♪ He sets sail for ecstasy ♪

♪ At the Quesadilla Shack ♪

♪ He is the wizard ♪

♪ The mystical wizard ♪♪

What was I thinking?

I don't know
how to run a restaurant.

Girardi's needs a miracle, fast.

whirr

- Hey, Speedy?
- Que paso?

I have a favor to ask you.

(Bugs)
'Yesterday was a little shaky.'

We lost a lot of customers
and we lost a lot of morale.

But we're gonna
turn it around today.

(all)
Yeah!

Because we're not in
the loser business.

We're in the pizza business.

- Oh, yeah!
- Pizza!

And like pizza dough

we'll rise to the occasion.

[all cheering]

We're gonna work fast.

We're gonna work smart.

And we're gonna put
each of you in a position

where it will be impossible
for you to fail.

Now who's with me?

(all)
We are!

Then get in this pantry!

What are we supposed
to do in here?

(Bugs)
'You're doing it!'

I think that went pretty well.

Welcome to Girardi's.
May I take your order?

There's so many choices.
What would you recommend?

You, you look feisty.

Like a beautiful tiger
waiting to pounce.

You need a cheese
with some bite.

- Ooh?
- Asagio.

And, you,
you have a wisdom about you

a wisdom that whispers
mushrooms.

Enjoy.

[instrumental music]

Turns out the secret
to a successful restaurant

a mouse.

Tell that
to the health department.

[laughing]

(Daffy)
'Hello?'

creak

'Hello?'

'Hello? Hello?'

Do you want the good news
or the bad news?

- The good news.
- G-Girardi's pizza is a hit.

Looks like y-you're gonna be
busy running a restaurant

for y-years to come.

What's the matter?

I didn't wanna be busy
owning a restaurant.

I didn't wanna be busy
doing anything.

I just wanted a place
to hang out.

So what's the bad news?

This whole time
I've been eating pepperoni

I've been eating m-m-meat!

[sobs]

chomp chomp

- Speedy.
- Ai.

You know, there's
such a thing as knocking.

Come on.
I wanna show you something.

(Speedy)
What are we doing here?

Remember when you asked
if it was my dream

to own a restaurant?

- Yes.
- Well, it's not.

But I had a hunch
it might be yours.

'Pizzarriba!'

Senor Bunny,
I don't know what to say.

Just say you'll hold a table
for us on Sunday nights.

[instrumental music]

whoosh

hiss

thud

creak

thud

hiss

thud

thud thud thud

[rumbling]

[bell dings]

[rattling]

swoosh

thud

whirr whirr

boom

[indistinct chatter]

Now, this is more like it.

Hanging out at Girardi's.
I-I mean Pizzarriba.

Carrot for you

and plain cheese for you.

[stammering]
It's not easy being a pig.

Hmm.

Where's Daffy?

Speedy put him in charge
of deliveries.

[rumbling]

- What's the address?
- 816 Beach Street.

whirr

- What's the order?
- 'One large pepperoni pizza.'

Deliver the pizza.

boom

[woman gasps]

Roll out!

[theme music]

Hasta luego, amigos.