02x11 - We're in Big Truffle

[bunniefuu]

[instrumental music]

V-valet.

We could p-probably find
free parking on the street.

Porky, you've gotta learn
to treat yourself right.

Enjoy the finer things in life.

Alright.

Payule.

- It's Paul.
- Paul.

I am guessing
you've never driven a
vehicle

quite like this one.

No, sir, I haven't.
Are those the... keys?

First of all, I could do
without the attitude.

Second of all,
these are obviously pliers.

'Because the ignition key
is obviously broken off'

'in the ignition itself.'

Obviously due to a fit I had
regarding a personal matter.

And don't get any ideas.
I locked the glove compartment.

Hey, sometimes
you've gotta treat people wrong

to treat yourself right.

[theme music]

I'll have the truffle risotto.

Everything's kind of expensive.

Porky, we'll split the bill.

Hmm.

He'll have what I'm having.

Porky, this is exactly
what I'm talking about.

You have to learn
to pamper yourself.

Valet parking, nice meals,
French manicures.

These are the things
that give you a sense of worth.

W-w-what about hard work?
F-f-friendship?

[laughs]

'Good one.'

[clears throat]

What's that?

Truffle. It's a delicacy.

Mm. Mm. Oh.

It's like eating gold.

Mm. Truffle,
where have you been all my life?

Oh, it is d-d-delicious.

To treating yourself right.

[doorbell ringing]

- What's up, neighbor?
- Hey, Bugs.

I was wonderin'
if Gossamer could stay

with you this weekend?

- Sure. Where you goin'?
- The fifth dimension.

Oh. Uh, is that
where you're from?

What?
Honey, I'm from Chicago.

The fifth dimension
is where they're holdin'

the witches convention.

They teach you all the new
spells and broom tricks.

Sounds great.
We'll take good care of him.

We? Oh.
I forgot about Daffy.

Any chance you
could babysit at my house?

Ooh. I've never stayed
at a haunted house before.

It's not haunted!
Mm-mm-mmm.

You make a lot of assumptions.

Mm.

Five hundred dollars?

- For risotto?
- For the truffle.

It should have been for free!
The menu said MP.

Yes, MP.
Market price.

Which, in this case
is 250 dollars a plate.

Market price?

MP stands for my pleasure!

Like, here, take it.
It's my pleasure.

W-w-what are we gonna do?

Pay the bill. Here.

T-t-this is 5 dollars.
You said we'd s-s-split it.

Right. We're splitting it.

Me, five dollars,
you rest of dollars.

Splitting means 50-50!

Oh! And MP
means market price?

What planet are we on?

I'll get the valet.

Humph!

Bye bye, baby.

Now you do
what Mr. Bunny tells you.

I'll be home Sunday night.

You take good care of my son.

We'll be great.
Don't worry.

You're gonna..

You can't see past
the witchiness, can you?

I'm takin' my minivan.

Unbelievable.

What does he think I'm gonna do
with all this luggage?

vroom

swoosh

[instrumental music]

Ugh! Hey, speedy?

You got any truffles back there?

Truffles? Who are you?
Little Lord Fauntleroy?

Do you know
how much truffles cost?

The big ones
go for like $350,000.

Three hundred
and fifty thousand dollars?

Where would someone
get a truffle?

They grow on the ground,
near oak trees.

But they're nearly
impossible to find.

Needs pigs to sniff them out.

Pigs, huh?

W-w-where are we going?

It's a surprise.
Alright, start sniffing.

W-w-where are we?

Randall McClintock
National Park.

- W-w-what are we doing here?
- Truffle hunting.

You're gonna sniff 'em out.

I'm gonna dig 'em up
and we're gonna be rich.

S-s-sniff 'em out?

D-Daffy, I am not
that k-kind of a pig.

I was b-b-born in the
suburbs!
I wear a blazer.

Will you please just try?
It's getting late!

[sighs]

Eh!

sniff sniff

Ugh! Your pig ancestors are
rollin' over in their graves.

Come on, Porky!
Sniff like you mean it!

[snorts]

There you go.
Find that truffle, piggy.

Okay, Gossamer.
Time for bed.

[doorbell ringing]

Who could that be?

Hey, bun bun.

Lola! I told you I can't do
anything this weekend.

I-I'm babysitting.

I know.
I thought I could help.

Well, that's very nice

but I-I think
I've got it covered.

Mr. Bunny, I think there's
a monster under my bed.

Are you kiddin'?
The monster's on the stairs!

- Huh? Where?
- Lemme handle this.

I put myself through
medical school babysitting.

Hey, Gossamer, how about
I read you a bedtime story?

- Yeah!
- Tchh.

(Daffy)
'Dig, pig, dig!'

Dig, pig, dig!

Dig, pig, dig!

T-t-that is not helping.

W-w-why aren't you digging?

My manicure.

T-t-that's it. I'm done.

L-l-let's go home.

W-where's the car?

Hmm. Hmm. Huh.

Y-you don't know
where the car is?

Well, you don't know
where the car is!

T-that's because
you b-blindfolded me!

Well, I thought if you knew
where we were going

you wouldn't have come!

- I w-wouldn't have!
- You just proved my point!

Ughh. F-forget it.

I'll f-find my own way home.

thud

- Huh.
- What is it?

I don't know.

It's a... giant truffle!

Porky! You did it!

We're rich, we're rich.

[laughs]

We're rich!

Um, D-D-Daffy?

We're still lost, you know.

Lost and... rich!

Aaow!

[laughs]

[laughing]

(Lola)
'Bugs!'

What? Is everything okay?

Everything's fine.
Nothin' to worry about.

Totally no big deal.

But... Gossamer kind of, um..

He turned into a frog.

What do you mean,
Gossamer turned into a frog?

What's this?

Well, I thought it was
a book of bedtime stories

but now I'm pretty sure
it's a book of spells.

Wait! Before you go in there,
you should know one more thing.

I think I might have also
turned Gossamer's alarm clock

into a great, big,
ferocious grizzly bear.

[roars]

Gossamer!

You poor thing.

Well, looks like
you got this covered.

So, you know,
I should probably head on home.

I mean, uh, to get a terrarium.

To put Gossamer
in until we can figure out

which one of these spells
will turn him back

is what I was saying.

Oh, you thought
I was gonna leave you.

[laughs]

[wolf howling]

I bet this baby
weighs three pounds.

We're probably looking
at a half a million dollars.

What are you gonna do
with your ten percent?

D-D-Daffy, we've been
through this.

If you say split, it means half.

Fine! So what are you
gonna do with yourhalf?

I d-don't know.

I've always been someone who
s-saves their money

for a rainy day.

Come on. This is your chance
to treat yourself right.

I guess I could buy a shirt.

I mean, I never felt
like I needed a shirt.

Considering I already
had a jacket and tie.

It seems so extravagant.

That's why
you don't wear a shirt?

Because you're cheap?

Well, w-why don't you
wear clothes?

Because I love my body.

'Check out my pecs, Porky.
Check 'em.'

- Look at 'em... '
- Shh!

- What?
- Shh, shh.

- What?
- I think I hear something.

What do you think it is?

- A b-b-bear?
- Porky!

There hasn't been a bear
in these woods for a 1000 years!

[growls]

[both screaming]

Quick, f-fly us outta here!

What? I can't fly!

- B-but you're a duck!
- I'm not that kind of duck.

[growls]

[screams]

I always knew
I'd d-die this way.

(Bugs)
'Hi, yes.'

I-I called 911 last night

but I think the dispatcher
thought I was crazy.

Oh, okay.

Uh, well, I-I was babysitting
this monster, see

and my girlfriend accidentally
turned his alarm clock

into a grizzly bear
and he escaped and ran away.

Hello?

I think I found the spell
I did last night.

You think or you know?

I know.
I mean, I, I think I know.

Well, that's great.

But we need the spell
that reverses the spell.

It's this one.
It's definitely this one.

I think.
No, I mean, I know.

I mean, I think, I know.

Just read it.

[casting a spell]

[croaking]

What?

Uh, nothing.

Psst.
I think the b-bear's gone.

Y-you okay?

I'm fine.

Is the truffle okay?

I mean, are you okay?

W-w-we've been walking
for hours.

D-does any of this
look familiar?

It all looks familiar.
Everything looks the same!

I'm s-starving.

I'm gonna eat
i-into my half of the truffle.

Are you crazy?
That's like eating money.

This is our future.

No one's gonna give us
a half a million dollars

for a truffle
with a giant bite out of it!

If you're hungry,
eat some berries.

But what if they're poisonous?

Then I'll know not to eat 'em.

[screaming]

W-we have to jump!

[gasps]
But I can't swim!

Y-you can't fly,
you c-can't swim!

Are you even a d-duck at all?

I'm not sure.

This comes off very easily.

[growls]

[screams]

splash

- Porky!
- I-I'm here!

I lost the truffle!

T-there it is.

I've got it! Ah!

I don't got it!

I see it.

Whoa!

splash

[gasps]

I g-got it!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!
I love you, Porky Pig!

Lola, none of these spells
are working.

What?

Nothing.
Maybe we should call the witch.

Oh, no.
She entrusted me with Gossamer.

We gotta fix this on our own.
Let's not panic.

'Gossamer!'

We're saved!

Argh!

Help! Whoa!

Porky!

Hold on.

I can't!

Let go of the truffle!

- A-are you sure?
- I'm not gonna say it twice!

I can't believe I said it once.

O-okay.

You s-saved my life.

It was MP.

My pleasure.

Turns out, treating others right

feels better than
treating yourself right.

I just worry that this feeling

won't last as long
as a half million dollars.

Here.

I got a truffle to catch.

[screams]

[instrumental music]

[telephone ringing]

- This is Speedy.
- Speedy, listen to me.

Gossamer went inside
your mouse hole.

You gotta come home
and get him out.

Wait a second.
How could Gossamer get in there?

- He's giant!
- Lola turned him into a frog.

Okay. Something I don't
appreciate is practical jokes.

The kind of people
that like pulling pranks

has something seriously
wrong with them.

I'm at work!
Get help, man.

No, no, no!
He hung up.

Now what are we gonna do?

Hmm.

You don't believe me, do you?

Oh, no, we believe you.

So, um, Gossamer's
in here, you say?

[screams]

What is it?
What's wrong?

Just, um, give us a moment.

- We'll fix everything.
- Oh, where do we begin?

Well, for starters

'why is all the furniture
crammed against the walls?'

'There's no flow,
there's no balance.'

One never places
two large pieces of furniture

side by side!

And if you're going
to have an area rug

it needs to be anchored
by something.

It's just floating
in the middle of the room!

Let's stop talking
and start decorating!

- We did it.
- Where's Gossamer?

- Who is Gossamer?
- The frog!

Oh. There wasn't
a frog in there.

But the back door was open.

Back door?

He could be anywhere!

[croaking]

Now, boy.
That's our neighbor.

[instrumental music]

bash

whirr

[music continues]

[cellphone ringing]

Oh, boy.

How's the convention?

Dull as usual.

I'm calling
to check on Gossamer.

He givin' you any trouble?

No, not really.

I may have accidentally
turned Gossamer into a frog

and have no idea
of how to turn him back.

But guess who just saved him
from getting eaten

by a Tasmanian devil?

- Ahh!
- Mm-mm-mm.

Where's the spell book?

[casting a spell]

Wait a second.
The alarm clock was the
frog.

We should've been
chasing the bear!

'What are you so mad about?
You're back to normal.'

- What?
- Oh, uh, nothing.

Huh!

My truffle!

This ends now.

Mother!

You're not understanding me.

It's not just a bear,
i-it's a little boy!

'Well, actually,
he's a big orange monster.'

But he's a boy
that looks like a monster

that's trapped in a bear's body.

- I'll just hang up on myself.
- D-Daffy's in trouble!

I don't have time
to worry about Daffy right now.

J-just listen!

Daffy blindfolded me
and took me into the woods

because he thought
since I was a pig

I would be able
to find him a truffle.

But then he got lost
and a bear chased us

and I almost went over
a waterfall but Daffy saved me...

- Porky. Porky.
- But then he jumped over...

Oh, man, I wanted to do it.

- Did you say a bear?
- Yes.

There hasn't been a bear in
those woods for a 1000 years!

That's because
that bear is Gossamer!

G-G-Gossamer?

[gasps]

Y-you k*lled him?

What, this?

No, this is synthetic.

I bought it at the park
gift shop on the way out.

Here.
I got you a keychain.

Daffy, where's the bear?

Oh, uh, he's on the front porch.

I bet he's an escaped
circus bear or something.

He's completely harmless.

He's the one who led me
out of the woods.

I'm thinking about keeping him.

Making him
my personal assistant.

[casting a spell]

Gossamer!

- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.

I mean, I was scared at first

but then I found
Mr. Pig and Mr. Duck

and I knew I was safe.

Well, it's getting late.
Why don't we get you home.

If you want,
I can read you a bedtime story.

Mm, mmm.

I-it is s-so good
to be back in
c-civilization.

Hey, Speedy.

How about some more
cinnamon breadsticks?

How can you afford all this?

Oh, oh, oh.
We can afford it.

What are you talking about?

How much do you think
this baby's worth?

I don't know, it's pretty big.

A dime, maybe?

A dime?
For a truffle this size?

That's not a truffle!

That's an old, dirty potato!

You thought it was a truffle?

They only got those
in Italy and France, man.

[speaking in foreign language]

There goes my self worth.

You still have me.

You feel like taking a trip
to Italy or France?

I-it would be MP.

That means you're payin',
you know.

I know.

What the..

Am I on some kind
of reality show?

Hello?

[theme music]

[casting a spell]

Oh, dear.

Um, now, maybe just don't look
in the mirror for a while..

...or ever.