02x14 - Spread Those Wings and Fly

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Looney Tunes Show". Aired: May 3, 2011 - November 2, 2013.*
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Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and the rest of the `Looney Tunes' characters are back with new adventures.
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02x14 - Spread Those Wings and Fly

Post by bunniefuu »

[indistinct TV chatter]

[door opens]

[whistle blows on TV]

- Unh.
- What's up, doc?

I need to borrow your TV.

Beg your pardon?

I got a date
with a cute little filly

and she's comin' over
for movie night.

What's wrong with your TV?

It's a 1952 black and white set.

Ain't got no surround sound.
Ain't got no high-definition.





I'm tryin' to impress her.

Sam, I'm not gonna
help you lie to some girl

so you can trick her
into dating you.

Fine.

Ooh, what about
your Nobel Prize?

- That'd seal the deal.
- No.

What kind of weirdo
would pretend

to have won the Nobel Prize?

[camera shutter clicks]

Pretty good status update, huh?

'Oh, yeah. I'm gonna get
a lot of likes on this one.'

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

I can't believe it. Zero likes.





Ooh, one comment.

"Isn't that Bugs' Nobel Prize?"

Consider yourself de-amigo'd,
Speedy Gonzales.

We're here.

- Where?
- The seminar.

You said you'd go with me.

Wieb Lunk, renowned
motivational speaker.

His first book,
"Walking Through Fire"

kept me goin'
when I lost my accountin'
job.

It's what motivated me
to take up catering.

You're saying you need
someone else to motivate you?

Pfft! That is so weak.

We parked so far away.

I don't think I can
make it to the entrance. Hmm.

- Of course, you can.
- You really think so?

- I believe in you.
- Alright.

But just keep motivating me.

- You can do it.
- Oh.

- You can do it.
- 'Ohh. Ahh.'

- 'Almost there.'
- 'Ahh.'

Are you ready
to change your life?

Let's get one thing
straight, bub.

I'm only here for free coffee.

This hokum only works
on weak-minded suckers like you.

Whoa-ho-ho! That was
amazing!

I'm a changed man.

I can't believe it took
so long to see the light.

I'm excited to read his new book

"Spread Those Wings and Fly."

I can't wait to fly.

I mean, I've always been
a little afraid of it

but like Wieb says,
"It's now or never."

- I'm gonna sign up today.
- Eh, for what?

- Flying lessons.
- Daffy?

I think you're taking the title
of the book too literally.

What are you talking about?

He must have said the word fly

about 100 times in there.

Fly means fly.

Which is exactly
what I'm going to do.

You mean like..

Porky, I've told you
I'm not that kind of duck.

I'm going to get
my pilot's license.

I've already got
a driver's license

and a cosmetology license.

That's two
of the big five licenses.

The big five licenses?

Driver's license,
cosmetology license

pilot's license, fishing license
and license to k*ll.

I can't wait to get that
one.
Now, get out of my way.

- I never wanna see you again.
- Eh, what?

Well, at least, for a while.

Wieb said to get rid
of any friends or family

who don't support you.

Those people are toxic,
like mold. You're mold, Porky.

You've been here this whole time
slowly k*lling me.

I do support you.

I just think "Spread Those Wings
and Fly" is a metaphor.

Really, for what?

For finding the courage
to pursue your dreams

listening to your inner voice
having the confidence

to try somethin' new
and take risks.

Live boldly.

You are so dumb.

Dumb and toxic.

[instrumental music]

- Flying lessons?
- It's in my genes, my blood.

I'm meant to fly. I'm a
duck.

Birds are angels on earth.

You don't understand
because you're a rabbit

a rodent, vermin.
You're a garbage eater.

[whirring]

- What is that?
- Lunk formula.

It's a mixture
of synthetic carbs

and branch chain amino acids.

Wieb says it increases
brain function.

gulp gulp gulp

Might wanna put
another scoop in there.

I already cut Porky
out of my life.

I can do the same to you.

I don't want to, I mean,
you're the one with the
house

and all the cool stuff,
but I will.

[automated message]
DVD 4.

"How high can you fly?"

Very high!

Right now, I want you to tell me

if you're satisfied
with your life.

No!

Are you satisfied
with your career?

No!

Satisfied in your relationships?

No. All no!

Then I want you to stand up
and say it with me.

I'm gonna spread
my wings and fly!

I'm gonna spread
my wings and what?

Fly!

- What?
- Fly!

- 'I-I can't hear you.'
- 'Fly!'

- 'What?'
- 'Fly!'

- What?
- Fly!

Do you really need to be
doing this right now?

Good point. I should get to bed.

Listen to my night time nuggets.

- Your what?
- Night time nuggets.

They're little
inspirational b*llet points

that subliminally
sink in while I sleep.

If you wanna watch
the DVDs, go ahead.

- They'll change your life.
- No, thanks.

Suit yourself. But you'll never
soar my ground-bound friend.

You'll never be a lunkhead.

I don't wanna be a lunkhead.

Who wouldn't
wanna be a lunkhead?

[instrumental music]

Wow. I feel so rested.

So invigorated.

Looks like
a beautiful day to fly.

[door opens]

What are you wearing?

Dress for the job you want,
not the job you have.

- You don't have a job.
- That's why I'm usually nude.

- Why is the front door open?
- I don't know.

I think someone
broke into the house.

[dramatic music]

- Is anything missing?
- 'I don't think so.'

[gasps]
My Nobel Prize!

- Unbelievable.
- What?

That hillbilly leprechaun
stole my Nobel Prize.

You know a hillbilly leprechaun?

Yosemite!

Yosemite knows
a hillbilly leprechaun?

[pounding on door]

- Give it back.
- Give what back?

My Nobel Prize.

Uh, I don't got
your Nobel Prize.

- Sure, you don't.
- Why do ya think I took it?

'Cause I came there
yesterday
and said I wanted it?

And you said, no,
and I left angrily?

Or 'cause of my vast
criminal record

which includes
breakin' and enterin'?

Yep, either of those.

Well, I didn't steal
your stupid prize.

Now, get off of my property

before I call the cops
on ya for trespassin'.

thud

Which is also
on my criminal record.

[instrumental music]

Okay. Mm-hmm.
Thank you very much.

I really appreciate it.

They're sending me
a replacement Nobel Prize.

I don't know why
you want it back so bad.

As Wieb says
"Clinging to past success

guarantees future failure."

Is that a night time nugget?

No, it's a daytime doodler.
Very different.

How was your first day
of flying?

I didn't even get in the plane.
I failed the physical.

They said I had too many
branch chain amino acids

in my bloodstream. I have to
take it again tomorrow morning.

I'm going to bed.

Be sure and lock
your bedroom window.

[instrumental music]

click

[music continues]

You're not gettin' my TV.

You know, paranoia
is the opposite of power.

No, it's not.

All I'm saying is you need

to activate your trust magnets.

Just watch the DVDs.

[instrumental music]

My TV! Oh, that is it.

[knocking on door]

Oh, good. The cops.

Someone broke
into my house last night

and stole my cowboy boots.

What are you talking about,
where's my TV?

Oh, now, you're sayin'
I stole your TV?

- You know you did.
- Oh, I get it.

- You stole my cowboy boots.
- What?

You stole from me, 'cause
you
think I stole from you.

Arrest him, officers.
He stole my boots.

Tit for tat.

Well, I never titted,
so you shouldn't have
tatted.

Arrest him, I tells you!

Dispatch, it's just
a neighborhood dispute

between a rabbit and a, uh..

...sort of like
a hillbilly leprechaun.
Over.

[engine revving]

I'm gonna keep my eye on you.

I'm a-gonna keep my eye on you.

Good, because I'm gonna
keep my eye on you.

Not good.

'Cause while your eye's on me

my eyes are gonna be on you.

Well, great.

Because while
your eyes are on me

and my eyes are on you,
there's no way

with both of our eyes
on each other's eyes

that you can steal
any more of my stuff!

- Wait. What?
- Just stay out of my house!

(man on radio)
'Alright, Daffy, you're clear
for final approach.'

Check.

'Why'd you just open
the cargo doors?'

Oh, is that what that does?

'Your nose is too far down,
bring it up.'

The nose of the plane.

Oh, right.

You're too far east.
Come west five degrees.

- Which way is west?
- Your left.

Your other left.

You're comin' in too fast.
Reduce your air speed.

What's my air speed?

It's on your
air speed indicator.

- Can you be more specific?
- You're headed for the trees.

Pull up. Pull up.

crash

Well, I think
that went pretty well.

What do you say
we do it for real?

You've had 19 crashes in a row.

Simulated crashes.

Look, I'm gonna be
straight with you.

I don't think
you're meant to fly.

[instrumental music]

I guess sometimes
when you spread your wings

they get broken.

Wait a second.

Wieb says,
"The only thing separating

I can't from I can is a T."

And that little thing
before the T

that looks like a comma,
but it's up instead of down.

I can fly.
I don't need a teacher.

I don't need a license.
I've got it all in here.

[instrumental music]

[whirring]

Nope, not that one.

[grunting]
Oops.

What's this guy do?

Hey! Hey! Aah!

[whirring continues]

crash

Not bad
for my first flight, huh?

[dramatic music]

I don't know why you're watching
me, you're the thief!

You brought this on yourself.

You got trust issues!


Oh, I've got
trust issues, alright.

Yeah. I trust you about
as far as I can throw you.

Well, actually, I bet
I could throw you pretty far.

So, let's just say, I don't
trust you and leave it at that!

[grunts]

[glass shatters]

(Wieb on TV)
'The success pentagram.'

'The five points
of the pentagram'

'are visualization,
strategization'

'realization, execution
and diet.'

What are you doing in here?

The TV in the living room
was stolen

and I need to watch my DVDs.

Well, you don't need
to be under the covers.

Wieb says information
retention increases

the more comfortable you are.

And right now, I need
to retain as much as possible.

(Wieb on TV)
'Does anyone here
know anything'

'about branch chain
amino acids?'

I was expelled
from flight school.

Daffy, when are you gonna
give up on all this nonsense?

Never. Just like
the title of this DVD.

"Winners never quit
and quitters always quit."

I am not giving upon my dream.

One way or another, I will fly.

Congratulations,
flight attendants.

You know there are male
flight attendants?

I like the height
that the heels give me.

[instrumental music]

(woman on radio)
'Please pay close attention'

to the following important
safety information.

To fasten your seatbelt,
place the flat metal end

into the buckle and tighten
by pulling on the strap.

Your seatbelt should be fastened
low and tight across your hips.

Ugh!

[instrumental music]

[crying]

[sizzling]

[laughing]

(Daffy on PA)
'Welcome to New Orleans
where it's a cool 65 degrees.'

'We know you have
a choice when flying'

'and so, on behalf
of our flight crew'

'we'd like to thank you
for flying with us today.'

'And hope to see you again
on your next journey.'

Oops. Don't forget your
coat.

Hope you got a good rest.

Okay, ladies.
We're in New Orleans.

- What do we do first?
- What are you talking about?

What do you mean?
Bourbon Street, girl.

Let's ditch these heels
and have some fun.

Daffy, we have to fly
back to California.

We have 20 minutes to clean
and prep the cabin for takeoff.

But it took six hours
to get here.

It'll take another
six to get back.

That's the whole day.

That's the life
of a flight attendant.

[door opens]

Where have you been?

- New Orleans.
- Are you wearing a skirt?

Yeah, but it's the heels
that'll k*ll you.

I'm going to bed.

We're supposed to fly
to Boston in the morning.

Well, Phoenix, then Boston.

This girdle
doesn't help, either.

[instrumental music]

clatter clatter

thud thud

Yosemite.

He took my laptop?

Yosemite.

(Yosemite)
'What were you
doin' in my house?'

I wasn't in your house,
but you were in mine.

What? No, I wasn't.

I was sound asleep
when I heard a noise

and saw my record player
was stolen.

I went outside
to see what's what

and I sees you sneakin' around.

This is ridiculous.
Just give me my stuff back.

I told you
I ain't got your stuff.

Now, stay out
of my house, rabbit.

thud

Oh, this means w*r.

[instrumental music]

[snoring]

[snoring]

(Wieb over headphone)
'You deserve to have
everything you've ever wanted.'

'Just get up right now
and go take it.'

'It's yours. It's all yours.'

'All you have to do
is take it.'

'Take what you want.
Take it! It's yours.'

[grunts]

[snoring]

Aah! Ohh! Ooh!

Boy, you wouldn't believe
the dream I had last night.

'You were trying to k*ll me.'

Well, I'm off to Phoenix.

No, you're off to our neighbors

to return their stuff you stole.

blink blink

Huh. That's another dream I had.

It wasn't a dream.

Those night time nuggets
helped you spread your wings

and fly, alright.
Right into people's houses.

Wow. The Lunk mess
is more powerful than I thought.

[doorbell rings]

Ugh. My replacement Nobel Prize.

Huh. Now you've got two of 'em.

Here you go.

Told ya I wasn't the thief.

I owe you an apology.

What's this?

[gasps]
Aw, you shouldn't have.

Sorry that it has my name on it.

Nah, I got an electric
sander
that'll take that right off.

thud

[instrumental music]

- What are we doin' here again?
- I don't know.

Porky's invitation said
it was a surprise.

Did I miss it?

I thought you
were going to Boston?

Nah, I've quit being
a flight attendant.

I mean, I wanna fly,
but it's a lot of work.

What? I like the heights.

Uh, hello, everyone.

Thank you all for coming.

I've recently attended
a self-help seminar.

Which taught me the importance

of stepping outside
of my comfort zone

and trying new things.

It was about flying!
It's so sad.

It's like he's incapable
of getting it.

So tonight,
I'm gonna do something

I've always wanted to do

but I've been too scared to try.

[clears throat]

[operatic singing]

[applause]

He is definitely not a lunkhead.

(Daffy)
'Whoo-hoo!'

'Now, this is
the kind of flying'

'I was meant to do.'

'I wish
I'd discovered this sooner.'

- 'What a thrill!'
- 'Careful!'

(Porky)
You're going too high!

Porky, you got to try it.

This is what
Wieb was talking about!

Not that sad cattle wallowing
you were doing!

Porky! Hold the front!

Your airspeed is too low.

Pull that throttle!
And push on the stick!

Push on that stick!

splash

Mm-mm-mm.

When pigs fly.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

Don't let anybody tell you,
"That's all, folks!"

There's always more,
you just gotta ask for it.

Now, spread those wings and fly!
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