02x15 - The Black Widow

[bunniefuu]

[doorbell ringing]

Hey, Mr. Duck, you wanna
play?

What are you doing
out of school?

- It's Spring Break!
- Spring Break?

We get a week off from school.

You're never in school,
how do you learn anything?

You get a week off at Christmas,
three months off for the Summer

and now you're on spring break?

Huh, no wonder Canada's
k*lling us these days.

So... do you wanna play?

No, I do not want to play.

I'm a grown up.

Grown ups do not play.

Humph!

[imitating g*n noises]

Hey, Bugs, you wanna play?

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

You wanna go to Acapulco?

- What?
- Acapulco!

A week of fun in the sun
on the Mexican Riviera!

- What are you talking about?
- Spring break.

Spring break is for students.

What, students are the only
ones who need to cut loose

and let it all hang out?

I have a very stressful life.

I need spring break.

Forget it, I'll find
someone else to go with me.

Someone fun.

Someone who knows how to party.

I'm tellin' ya, you're going
to end up in a Mexican jail.

(Daffy)
'Thanks, grandpa,
I'll send you a postcard.'

[doorbell ringing]

Good evening.

Eh.

Why are you so dressed up?

Uh, duh, it's movie night.

Yeah, hang out
and watch a movie.

Oh! I thought
we were gonna be in a movie.

Oh, I wish I knew that
before
I memorized all these lines.

Just take a week off from work.

Tina, you need spring break
more than anyone.

It is not just for students!

beep

(Daffy)
'Bugs, Speedy, Yosemite, Granny'

'Foghorn, Taz, Tina.'

That's everyone.

I don't have any other friends.

[cell phone ringing]

- Hey, Porky.
- Eh, w-what you doin'?

Tryin' to find someone
to go on spring break with me.

Ooh, I'll go.

Oh, you know who I didn't try?

That guy who works
at the post office.

I got to go.

beep

What's the name
of this movie again?

[sighs]
"The Black Widow."

Okay, is that guy
a good guy or a bad guy?

Lola, the movie's barely started

and you've already asked
a hundred questions.

Alright, here's what
we're gonna do

you get three more questions,
that's it.

(woman on TV)
'Oh, there's a subject?'

'I thought you were
just wasting my time.'

- Who's the Black Widow?
- She is.

Why is she called
the Black Widow?

You're using up
your questions awful fast.

Look, she's a jewel thief

and she always
leaves behind a calling card

with a spider on it.

So they call her
the Black Widow.

- Then who is...
- This is your last question.

- I have to know!
- Fine.

- Who is the Black Widow?
- You already asked that!

- It's her.
- Oh! No, it's not.

- It's that guy, the detective!
- What?

He's in love with her,
so he pretends to be

the Black Widow to protect her

and in the end,
he goes to jail for her.

How do you know all this?

Uh, "The Black Widow"
is my favorite movie.

I've seen it a hundred times,
I've memorized all the dialogue.

"Ma'am, I'm afraid we're gonna
have to ask you some questions."

"What are you afraid of?
I won't bite."

"What do you know about
the break-in at the museum?"

"What are you
implying, detective?"

No, I don't think
it's weird to invite

my plumber on spring break.

Well, then, you can forget about
ever fixing my toilet again.

And I put a lot
of weird stuff down there.

beep

Well, that's it,
I don't know anyone else.

[cell phone ringing]

What is it, Porky?

Just seeing if you found anyone

to go with you on spring break.

Why, do you know someone?

Um, me!

Huh... yeah, okay.

(Porky)
'Ha ha! Yay!'

Unless the guy
at the Chinese restaurant

calls me back, then you're out.

beep

[instrumental music]

You remember to bring
your swimsuit?

Yep.

'Cause we're gonna do a lot
of hangin' out by the pool.

You got sunscreen?
You look like you burn easy.

ploink

Oh-oh, baby,
this is going to be big.

This spring break
is gonna be epic!

We're goin' for it, Porky.

(Daffy)
'We're not holdin' back.'

We're not going to bed early

or sittin' this one out
or countin' calories..

We are going hog wild!

No offense.

- Uhh!
- What?

I-I think I left
the iron on. At home!

Uh, I-I think I left it on.

It could s-start a fire!

Porky, please,
you didn't leave the iron on.

That's the stress talking.

That's exactly why
we're going down to Mehico

to let it all go.

(male pilot)
'Ladies and gentlemen,
we may experience'

'a little turbulence ahead
so I've turned on'

'the fasten seatbelt sign.'

Aren't you going
to b-buckle your seatbelt?

I'm on spring break, man.

I don't have to play
by the rules.

(Daffy)
'Whoa!'

Oh!

Ow!

Daffy!

Oh, wait, he's gone.

He's gone all week!

That's seven glorious days

without a crazy person
in my life.

screech

Bugs! I need your help!

It's like it just disappeared!

I mean, I had it on
when I left here

and then when I got home,
it was gone!

What are you talking about?

My mom's diamond bracelet.

The one I was wearing
last night, it's gone!

Oh, I don't know
what I'm gonna do!

Have you looked everywhere?

Yes, everywhere!

Well, I'm afraid
you're gonna have

to tell your mom you lost it.

I can't!

I borrowed it without asking.

Oh, boy.

Well, then I hate to say it

but, uh, I think you're gonna
have to face the music.

[sighs]
You're right.

[Mariachi music]

Ah,Mehico..

...the Pearl of the Orient.

[gasps]
I just thought of something.

Uh, I think
I l-left the oven on.

What are you talking about?

Eh, well, this morning
before I left, I made
biscuits

and I think I forgot
to turn off the oven.

It could start a fire!

First of all, who makes biscuits

before they leave town
for a week?

And second of all,
stop worrying.

We're on spring break.

Let's just get on the bus
and forget all our troubles.

[instrumental music]

Acapulco, here we come!

[yawning]

Oh, that was such
a good night's sleep.

It's a shame
spring break's only a week.

I could really get used
to the peace and quiet.

screech

Bugs, I need your help.

It's gone!

Snatched from my own home.

I feel so violated, so exposed.

What are you talking about?

Patricia's diamond bracelet,
it's been stolen!

It wasn't stolen.

I mean, uh, what makes you
think it was stolen?

Because the thief
left this behind.

"The Black Widow."

- You have to help me.
- Me?

Well, I can't call the police!

They'd alert Patricia,
and I can't

have her know it's missing,
it would break her heart.

Do you have any ideas
to how we could catch

the Black Widow?

Uh..

...I think I might.

You said you were gonna
face the music.

I did, I have been listening

to this for like six hours.

What, am I facing the wrong way?

Really? The Black Widow?

I panicked, I needed
to buy some time

while I look for the bracelet.

[Sighs]
Okay.

We have to retrace
your steps from that night.

Now where did you go
after you left my house?

I told you,
I went straight home.

No, wait!

(Lola)
'I didn't go straight home,
I stopped for frozen yogurt.'

Great, you probably lost it
at the frozen yogurt place.

Well, not necessarily.

(Lola)
'Because while I was eating
the frozen yogurt'

'I got a massive brain freeze'

'so I drove myself
to the hospital.'

screech screech

Hmm, then maybe
it's at the hospital.

No, I never made it
to the hospital, I got lost.

Turns out you can't drive
somewhere with your eyes shut.

(Lola)
'When I opened my eyes,
I was parked in front'

'of a 24 hour
spray tanning salon'

'so I went in and got the mega
bronzer total body special.'

So it could be
at the tanning salon.

Well, unless it's
at the sh**ting range.

(Lola)
'I was on such a sugar rush
from the fro-yo'

'that I thought I have
to sh**t something.'

'So I sh*t a round of skeet
at Randy's all night g*n club.'

Did you ever go home?

Yes! Uh!

Right after
I went night swimming.

Night swimming?

(Lola)
'Oh, it was freezing cold
and terrifying.'

I probably will never
do it again.

So it could be
at the bottom of a lake.

Or the other places I mentioned.

But yes, the bottom of the lake
is a distinct possibility.

vroom vroom

clank clank

We've been on this bus
for nine hours.

Uh, When are we gonna
be in Acapulco?

You see, we're here.

Porky, you got to chill out.

Maybe trust me
for once in your life.

cough cough

thud

[donkey braying]

Where's the b-b-beach?

I'll ask this guy.

Excuse me, can you tell
me where the beach is?

The beach?

- Acapulco.
- Acapulco?

Eh, this isn't Acapulco.

This is Tacapulco.

[bus honking]

Wait!

Wait!

Don't, don't worry.
The bus will be back..

...in a week.

[instrumental music]

Did you find it?

[sighs]

No and thanks for helping.

Well, I'm not going to
ruin another spray tan.

We've looked everywhere.
The bracelet's gone.

- You got to come clean.
- You're right.

The Hillhurst diamond
has been stolen.

Weft in its pwace,
a calling card from the thief

who goes by the
name "The Black Widow."

'Powice are investigating
while security at the museum'

has been tightened in
case The Bwack Widow

attempts to stwike again.

Why did you steal
the Hillhurst diamond?

I thought you were
gonna come clean!

I did, I took like
a two hour shower.

I mean, my spray
tan's completely gone.

Bugs, the Black Widow
wouldn't just steal a bracelet.

The Black Widow is insatiable.

She couldn't resist
a famous diamond on display

at the local museum.

Sure, she knows she'll
be caught in the end

but the Black Widow
can't resist the thrill.

She wants to be stopped, but
who can stop the Black
Widow?

There is no Black Widow!

It's a movie!

Oh! Right.

- You gotta put it back.
- How?

Now that there's been a break
in, security will be too tight.

I'll never be able
to do it alone.

You need to help me, detective.

You need to stop
watching that movie.

- 'Heh! Oh, oh dear.'
- What?

I think I left my
curling iron on.

Curling iron?

You don't have any hair.

It's for my tail.

Sometimes I forget
to turn it off.

And it says very
clearly on the side

"Do not leave unattended."

It's unattended!

It could start a fire!

You are bumming me out, Porky!

Now listen, we may be
in the middle of nowhere

but I am determined to make

this spring break epic.

We got to do
something crazy, man.

Alright, let me think,
let me think here.

Whoa! I got it!

What if we attach a million
balloons to that donkey?

And just watch him fly away.

But where would we
get a million balloons?

Okay, good point.

I got it!

Maybe we roll him
around in maple syrup

and stick a bunch
of newspapers to him.

Eh, w-where are we going
to get the syrup?

Or the newspapers?

You know, it's real
easy to be the guy

who points out the problem.

I need the guy who
points out the solution.

Ah, I can't think.

It's too hot.

That's it.

I don't know if this
is such a good idea.

Porky, streaking is one of the
ultimate spring break pranks.

So we're really doing this?

Oh, we are doing this.

On the count of three.

One, two, three!

'Woo-hoo!'

We're on spring break!

We're crazy!

'Whoo!'

[both laughing]

Yeah! Yeah!

We're crazy!
Look at us!

Check it out!

Whoo!

[whooping]

What is a matter
with you people?

Don't you get it?

We're streaking!

We are completely naked!

[gasping]

thud

Jail?

For streaking?

It's spring break!

It's what you do.

Maybe we should have done
something to that donkey.

The Rothwell Gallery is
here,
just off the museum lobby.

Now, because of the
increased
security, we won't be able
to

enter through the air ducts like
I did when I took the diamond.

Instead, we'll have to
make an aerial as*ault.

[instrumental music]

(Lola)
'Once we land on the roof,
we use a glass cutter'

'to carefully remove
a section of the sky light'

'directly over
the Rothwell Gallery.'

At 11 O'clock,
the guard begins his rounds.

'At 11:03, he makes his
way to the Egyptian wing.'

'And that's when
we'll lower ourselves'

'towards the gallery floor.'

'Once we're there, I'll place
the Hillhurst diamond back on'

'her pedestal, while you
remove the surveillance tape'

'from the security office.'

'Then we'll climb back up
the rope, and we're home free.'

- Lola.
- What?

What is this on your ankle?

Huh!
My mom's diamond bracelet!

Now I remember... before I went
to bed that night, I wanted to

see what it would
look like as an anklet.

I didn't lose it.

I was wearing it the whole time.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no!

Porky, it's fine. We'll get out.

No, it's not that.

I think I left my curtains open.

So what?

Well, on my desk is
an antique magnifying glass.

If the sun's rays were to pass
through the m-magnifying glass

just so, the papers on my desk

could ignite, starting a fire

that could burn
down my entire house!

Man, I wish that guy from
the Chinese restaurant

had called me back.

[footsteps]

[laughing]

(male #1)
'You're going to
rot in this jail'

'for the rest of
your miserable lives!'

'But first..'

...you get one phone call.

Take it.

It's heavy!

[instrumental music]

[cell phone ringing]

Typical Bugs.
Probably has his ringer off.

Bugs!

[grunting while phone rings]

Whoa!

How you doin'?

Can I try someone else?

Sure. Why not?

[wheezing]

[indistinct muttering]

Who is calling so late?

Speedy, it's Daffy.

You're never going
to believe this.

You're in a Mexican jail.

- How'd you know?
- Hah..

- Where in Mexico are you?
- Tacapulco.

It's in the middle of nowhere.

You've probably
never heard of it

but let me tell
you something, it's...

I used to live here.
Where's the sheriff?

Speedy Gonzales.

Slowpoke Rodriguez.

[intense music]

- Cousin!
- Cousin!

It's so good to see you!

How have you been?

How's Lucinda and the babies?

They're not babies anymore.

Oscar is seven
and Pepito is four.

Ay, ay, ay! It's been too long.

(Daffy)
Ahem.

So, uh, does this
mean we're free to go?

You're not going anywhere..

...until we have a fiesta!

[instrumental music]

He's not just the fastest mouse

in all of Mehico..

...he's also
a successful restaurateur!

Tell them.

Ay, no, it's not
that big a deal.

It's just a pizza place.

- Oh!
- Ah!

[giggles]

Psst, Porky.

This is going to be epic!

[laughing]

[glass shatters]

(Daffy)
'Call Dr. Weisberg!'

Bugs Bunny?
You're free to go.

See you guys later.

Well, probably not.

[phone ringing]

Bun bun!

So, you finally let
the cat out of the bag.

Oh, right!
Thank you.

Yah!

Lola confessed everything.

She told you she
is the Black Widow?

[whistles]

What? Ha ha ha! No!

She said you took the bracelet

to have one made just like it

to give to Lola as a surprise

so that she and her mother

could have matching bracelets.

And that you took the Hillhurst
diamond to throw us off your

trail and buy yourself more
time, but then you returned it

because it was the
right thing to do.

[laughing]

I would have done
the exact same thing.

Yo-you know what, Daffy?

I'm really glad you asked me
to go with you on spring break.

Ah, I did need to cut loose.

[laughing]

I can't believe, I was
worried about an open curtain.

zap zap zap

[engine revving]

boom

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

Come to Tacapulco!

It's like Acapulco..

...but much worse.