02x16 - Mrs. Porkbunny's

[bunniefuu]

[instrumental music]

I'm going to the grocery store.

Oh, wait. Here.

Its just a few things.

A few things, huh?

What do you need
with 16 tubes of lip balm?

- You don't have lips.
- It's not for my lips.

I don't wanna know.

W-what's this, a drawing?

Yeah, I need some of those

uh, I forget
what they're called.

Eggs?

Eggs! How do you remember that?

I take it
you don't have any money.

Oh, thank you.
Add that to the list, too.

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

What are these things? Oh, no.

Uh, excuse me.
Uh, where are the carrots?

In your hand.

No, not these.
The real ones.

The big ones.
You know, with the stems.

Oh, yeah. We don't
carry those anymore.

What do you mean
you don't carry those anymore?

- No one was buyin' 'em.
- I was buyin' 'em.

What's wrong with those?

"Peeled, bite-sized

baby carrot neeblers?"

"Nibblers."

I don't care
what they're called.

I'm not a baby.
I'm a grown rabbit.

I can chew my own carrots.

Well, they're not pre-chewed.
They're just bite-sized.

Well, I'm not buying 'em.

- Okay.
- No, it's not okay.

Because you are losing
my business.

And I was gonna
buy a lot of stuff.

I got a big ol' list here.

I was gonna buy,
uh, 500 yards of sheet metal.

We don't sell sheet metal.

Not to me, you don't.

You know what else
you're not gonna sell me?

Seven dozen cans
of dolphin unsafe tuna.

Why? Because I'm not
coming back here.

I'm gonna grow my own carrots.

You hear me?
I'm taking a stand.

Because if you stand for nothing

then you're surely gonna fall
for anything.

[chuckles]

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

Where did you get
all those carrots?

You're kidding,
I've been gardening every
day

for the past three months.

No, you haven't,
I hang out with you

from the second I wake up
until the second I go to sleep.

You don't do anything.

What time do you wake up?

I don't know,
4:00 p.m., maybe 4:30.

Yeah. I do it before then.

- 'Hey, guys.'
- We're in the kitchen.

I have exciting news.

- You're moving.
- What? No!

You're sick with something,
like a weird airborne something

and you're the first one
to get it

but everybody's gonna get it.

N-no!

You're a robot
disguised as a pig

and your eyes are video cameras.

N-no, s-stop guessing.

Well, then, you're moving.
What else is there?

I g-got a catering job!

What's exciting about that?

I'm c-catering on the set
of a-a TV commercial.

A TV commercial?
How exciting.

Why didn't you tell us
you had exciting news?

Congratulations, Porky.

It's a-a big opportunity.

So my food's, uh,
got to be great.

Well, if you want the carrots,
I got a whole bunch of 'em.

Oh, you know, I-I haven't chosen
a dessert yet.

Maybe I can make
my grandmother's

carrot cake recipe.

Well, there you go.

Mmm! T-they're so sweet.

T-these will be perfect.
T-thanks, Bugs.

So what's the commercial for?

Uh, Clean and Shiny hair gel.

Oh, that's my brand.
Can I come to the sh**t?

- I d-d-don't know.
- Come on.

I bet they'll have free samples.

- Uh, um, uh..
- Please!

I promise I won't
get in the way.

Will somebody get this duck
out of the way.

Psst, Daffy!

What? I'm barely in the sh*t.

D-Daffy, you promised
you'd stay out of the way.

- I never said that.
- 'Action!'

When I reach for hair gel,
I reach for Clean and Shiny.

And cut. Great job, everybody.

That's it? He's done?

He said one line!

Hey, how much do you think
that guy gets paid?

A-a lot.

A lot of money
for barely any work.

Porky, I have exciting news.

You're gonna try
to be a commercial actor?

Don't guess. That's so rude.
Who does that?

But, yes, I'm gonna try
to be a commercial actor.

Let's see here. Ooh,
this looks like a good audition.

"Mighty Wheat Breakfast Cereal.

"Actor wanted
for national campaign.

"Looking for likeable males

charismatic,
friendly dad-types."

That's me!

S-someone from Genco called.

What's Genco?

T-the company that makes
Clean and Shiny hair gel.

They said they-they wanted
to talk to me about my food.

They said it's urgent!
Ahh. I b-bet they hated it.

What, ah, for all you know

they're calling to tell you
they loved it.

Maybe they wanna hire you again.

- You really-really think so?
- 'No way.'

They said it's urgent.
That's never good news.

I bet a bunch of people
got sick from your food.

Maybe someone d*ed.

This is bad, Porky.
This is really bad.

Ohh!

Well, I'm off to my first
commercial audition.

Wish me luck.

Just call.
I'm sure it's fine.

[phone beeping]

I-it's ringing.
I-I'm gonna hang up.

Don't hang up.

Oh-oh, yes, hi, this is
Porky Pig r-returning your call.

Y-yes, I'm the one
who made the carrot cake.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

T-they all did?
Even the head of the company?

They got sick?

Oh, b-but it's not just me.

I mean, m-my friend,
B-Bugs Bunny grew the
carrots.

What? Don't get me involved!

Oh, yeah. None of this would
have happened without B-Bugs.

You made the cake!
It's your fault!

B-Bunny. B-U-N-N-Y.

Hang up, hang up!

O-Okay. W-we'll be in touch.

You'll be in touch!
Not me, you.

Bye-bye.

Why did you get me involved?
I don't wanna be involved.

I-it's too late.
You're already involved.

Bugs? I think you're gonna wanna
sit down for this.

Oh, boy.

- They loved it!
- Say what?

They said it was the b-best
carrot cake they've ever had.

They want to sell it in stores.

What do you mean?
I-I thought they made hair gel.

Genco's a giant company.
They make everything.

Well, that's great, Porky

but what does this
have to do with me?

It wasn't just my recipe.
It was your carrots.

W-we're a team.

They're gonna
send over a contract.

Yippee! We're gonna be rich!

'W-we're gonna be rich!'

W-we're gonna be rich!

- We're gonna be rich!
- We're gonna be rich!

- We're gonna be rich!
- We're gonna be rich!

"If you're not eating
Mighty Wheats

you're not eating breakfast."

Oh, that sounds weird.

"If you're not eating
Mighty Wheats

you're not eating breakfast."

Or, if you're not
eating Mighty... Wheats

you're not eating breakfast.

Yep, that sounds good.

Daffy Duck.

[instrumental music]

- Name?
- Daffy Sheldon Duck.

- Profile?
- Okay.

Well, I like to think of myself
as an outgoing type

but I have a serious side, too.

I love reading, Thai food...

'No, we need
to see your profile.'

Ahh..

Oh, that's a big beak!

Thank you, it gets the job done.

Ok, when I say, "Action"

you'll take a bite of cereal
and then say your line.

Let me just warm up
my voice for a second.

♪ Mi mi mi mi mi mi mi ♪

♪ La la la la la la ♪

♪ Wyoming ♪

♪ Wyoming Wyoming Wyoming ♪♪

[mumbling]

- Okay, I'm ready.
- 'Action.'

[crunching]
Oh! Oh!

This is the worst taste
I've ever had in my mouth!

What is this made of?
Is it dirt?

Oh, my Lord, my Lord!
This is awful.

Is it supposed
to taste like this?

I mean, who would eat this?

Have any of you tried this?
This is shocking!

Anyway, if you're not
eating Mighty Wheats

you're not eating breakfast.

(Porky)
'Here's the contract
from Genco.'

W-what do you think?
S-should we sign it?

I don't even understand it.

I mean, "Whereby the party

"of the first part
agrees to sell

to the party
of the second part.."

I-is that the carrot cake?

"However, the party
of the first part

represents and warrants to
the party of the second part.."

This is a very confusing party.

- Hey.
- Oh, how'd it go?

They said my audition was, quote

"Unlike anything
they'd ever seen before."

Ooh. So you g-got the part?

No. But I'm gonna get this one.

I'm so right for it, it's crazy.

"Comfort Silk pantyhose

"because no matter
how hard I work

I still wanna
feel like a lady."

I'm pretty sure
that part's for a woman.

- What?
- W-we have exciting news.

- You're both moving.
- N-no!

G-Genco wants to buy
our carrot cake.

But we can't make heads
or tails of this contract.

You should have that big fat
rooster take a look at it.

Foghorn?
Isn't he a little... nutty?

He's a lot nutty.

But he's also
the world's richest rooster.

- Huh. Maybe it wouldn't hurt.
- Alright.

(Daffy)
'Ooh, I better get
to my audition.'

What? You're the one who said
the part was for a woman.

Mm-hmm. Okay, uh,
a pretty standard contract.

I'll say,
pretty standard contract.

So, you-you think
it's a fair deal?

Well, I'd say
it's more than fair.

This is an incredibly
generous offer.

Well, thank you
so much for your time.

Thank you,
I'd say thank youfor the cake.

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

We're gonna be rich!

♪ We're gonna be rich
we're gonna be rich.. ♪♪

Hold it right there.

Do not, I say do not,
sign that contract.

But you said
it was a generous offer.

That was before I tried
this here cake. Mmm.

I say, mm-hmm!

Why, that offer's insulting for
something that tastes this good.

So w-w-what are you saying?

I'm saying, you should
tear up that contract

and go into business
for yourselves.

Why, you'd make ten times,
I say, ten times as much money.

'Boys, you're about
to be really rich.'

♪ We're gonna be really rich
we're gonna be really rich ♪

♪ We're gonna be really rich ♪
♪ You're gonna be really rich ♪

♪ You're gonna be really rich ♪
♪ We're gonna be really rich ♪

♪ I said you're gonna
be really rich ♪

♪ We're gonna be really ♪♪

[instrumental music]

Alright, here we are.

Our first meeting as
partners
in the, uh..

Huh, well, I guess that's
our first order of business

naming our carrot cake company.

W-well, on that note,
I-I hope you don't mind

but I-I already started
kicking around some ideas.

I was so-so excited,
I stayed up all night and...

Before we look at that,
I just wanna say

how thankful I am
for our friendship.

Me, too. None of this
would be happening without it.

Now, let's see what my friend's
been working on all night.

Well?

"Old Pig Cake?"

You stayed up all night
and came up with Old Pig Cake?

- Y-you don't like it?
- What does it even mean?

Well, the "Old"
is for old fashioned

'cause it's
my grandmother's recipe.

And the "Pig," well,
that was her last name.

A-and "Cake" because it's cake.

I'm sorry, but Old Pig Cake
just sounds like cake

that's been sitting in the mud
for a really long time.

- Well, what would you call it?
- 'I don't know. CC Cake?'

Eh, CC Cake?
What does that mean?

You know, CC, Carrot Cake.

Yeah, but you said CC C-Cake.

That's a Carrot Cake Cake.
T-that doesn't even make sense.

- It's better than Old Pig Cake.
- So w-what are you saying?

I'm saying
I'm not putting my carrots

into something with the
words
"Old" and "Pig" on it.

Well, I'm not gonna
bake something

that has the word
"Cake" on it twice.

- Fine.
- F-fine.

Hey! Do you mind?

Some of us are trying to sleep!

It's 4:45 in the afternoon.

[gasps]
I've overslept!
I'm late for my audition!

Oh! Ooh! Ooh-ho!

Fresh Brite.
It whitens while it brightens.

Simply roll your way
to sexy abs.

[grunting]

[yawning]

Nothing wakes me up
like a fresh cup

of Cisero's Coffee.

[grunts]

[screaming]

[grunting]

Big Bubble bubble gum.

The flavor goes on and on.

[choking]

[grunting]

Gloria's cleaning spray.

There is no surface
it can't clean.

[screaming]

[instrumental music]

- What do you think?
- W-what do you think?

It's old fashioned,
but it doesn't feel old.

And we're both
equally r-represented.

We even gave a nod
to your grandmother.

- I-I like it.
- I like it, too.

"Mrs. Porkybunny's Carrot Cake."

Ooh, t-this is so exciting.
W-we have a name!

See what happens
when we compromise?

You're right. From here on
out
n-no more arguing.

That's right.
No more arguing.

Now, how do we get

Mrs. Porkybunny's
name out there?

I was thinking... billboards.

- Eh, b-billboards?
- Yeah!

You know, you're stuck
in traffic, you're hungry

you look up, and there we are.

Pop in the store, pick one up.

But that's so impersonal.

Oh, really?
Then what were you thinking?

I was thinking more of a
door
to door approach.

You know, neighbor to neighbor.

Oh, that's a great idea.

Then maybe in 200 or 300 years,
we'll actually turn a profit.

I-is this your idea
of a compromise?

Sorry, but I'm not
walking all over town

ringing doorbells
with a cake in my hand.

Well, I don't want
my grandma's recipe

p-plastered on the side
of a dirty freeway!

Oh, now you have
a problem with dirt

Mr. Dirty Pig Cake.

It was Old Pig Cake. There
was nothing d-dirty about
it!

(Daffy)
' "Mrs. Porkybunny's?"'

[laughing]
That's the worst thing
I've ever heard!

It makes me think of some
weird mutant pig rabbit

like it's gonna have
little bits of cotton tail

and hooves in there.

Is there some place else
you can be right now?

As a matter of fact, I have
a big commercial audition.

It's for
an anti diarrheal medication.

"The next time you get diarrhea,
you might just think of me."

Wait a second.
We should do a commercial.

We'll reach millions of people

but it'll be like
we're in their living room.

It's the-the perfect compromise.

Let me be in it.

- S-say what?
- Say what?

Let me be in your commercial!
Come on!

No one believes
in Mrs. Porkybunny's

more than I do.

You just said it was the worst
thing you ever heard.

I was acting!
You believed that?

That proves
what a good actor I am.

Ehh.

Please! I'm begging you.

Commercials are impossible
to get.

You guys are my friends!

Isn't that
what this is all about?

[instrumental music]

Hello!

I'm Mrs. Porkybunny.

If there's one thing I love,
it's carrot cake.

Oh, I start out
with garden fresh

homegrown carrots, the big kind.

Then I add a pinch of sugar,
a hint of vanilla

and most importantly,
a whole lot of love.

Save room for Mrs. Porkybunny.
I did.

chomp chomp

Mmm!

That wasn't so bad. Right?

Right?

Ummm..

[instrumental music]

[hens clucking]

[instrumental music]

♪ You see me standing here
in front of you ♪

♪ Like a dumb reprobate
with nothing to do ♪

♪ Well I'm no Einstein ♪

♪ But I know a thing or two ♪

♪ I make my decisions
and I take a stand ♪

♪ I call 'em like I see 'em
'cause I'm my own man ♪

♪ Win or lose
I don't need no help from you ♪

♪ I start my day
with a cup of transfat ♪

♪ And I open my windows
with a baseball bat ♪

♪ And when I don't
recognize a number ♪

♪ I answer immediately ♪

♪ I built my dream house
on a stretch of wet sand ♪

♪ And Matchbox Twenty
is my favorite band ♪

♪ Every album they release
I buy obediently ♪

♪ 'Cause I go full throttle
and I don't think twice ♪

♪ I do my skating
on real thin ice ♪

♪ I'd like to say
I stick to my g*ns ♪

♪ But I'm just good
at making bad decisions ♪

♪ I wore ankle weights
when I ran with the bulls ♪

♪ I sold my Mickey Mantle
rookie card ♪

♪ To a one-eye hobo named
Sleepy for a dollar ♪

♪ I declared a vendetta
on the mafia ♪

♪ I used to keep my money
in Mason jars ♪

♪ But now I just carry it
with me at all times ♪

♪ I heat my house
with the microwave ♪

♪ I practice yoga
in a grizzly cave ♪

♪ And even though
I have no friends ♪

♪ I have three guest bedrooms ♪

♪ I ride my ten-speed
on the interstate ♪

♪ I asked a cannibal girl
to a dinner date ♪

♪ And I paid $27000
for this rhinestone ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm a man
who goes with his gut ♪

♪ I won't back off
I'll tell you what ♪

♪ I'd like to say
I stick to my g*ns ♪

♪ But I'm just good
at making bad decisions ♪

♪ Bad decisions ♪

(Foghorn)
'I have good news
and I have bad news.'

What's the good news?

I love, I say,
I love your commercial.

- What?
- You did?

Casting Daffy as Mrs. Porkybunny
was a stroke

I say a stroke of genius!

I found the character
likeable, heartwarming

and utterly endearing.

Well, t-that's great.
B-but what's the bad news?

America found
Mrs. Porkybunny unlikable

untrustworthy and very,
I say very, disturbing.

So what does that mean
for the company?

I'm afraid, I say I'm afraid

Mrs. Porkybunny's
baked her last cake.

You're bankrupt, boys.

[sighs]
I-I thought
we were gonna be rich.

- 'But you are!'
- Huh?

You put Daffy in that commercial

because he was your friend.

And while money
might make you wealthy

it's friendship
that makes you rich.

So what you're saying is,
we're still rich.

We're still rich.

'Eh, w-we're still rich.'

W-we're still rich.
W-we're still rich!

- In friendship.
- W-we're still rich!

- But not in money.
- 'W-we're still rich!'

- I'm just gonna..
- We're still rich.

- Uh, metaphorically.
- W-we're still rich.

- W-we're still rich!
- Not economically.

W-we're still rich!
W-we're still rich!

[theme music]

Okay, I got it.

That's all, folks.

No wait, that sounded weird.

That's... all folks.

Yeah, that sounded better.

That was it.
That was a keeper.