02x19 - Ridiculous Journey

[bunniefuu]

♪ Whoopee kai yeah-yo ♪

♪ Get along little bully ♪

♪ Yeh-dee-da-doo
yeah-da de-de-de-de ♪

♪ Whoopee kai yeah-yo ♪

♪ Get along little bully ♪

♪ For you know Alaska
will soon be your home ♪

[instrumental music]

Bath time, Tweety Bird.

♪ Singing in the bathtub ♪

♪ Deedee deedee dee ♪

♪ Deedee deedee deedee dee ♪

♪ Dee deedee dee dee ♪♪

Oh!

I thought I saw
a peeping Tom cat.

This is a violation
of my personal space.

[grunting]

Help!

Come back here,
you little squab.

Here you go, Poochie.

sniff

Help!

chomp

[laughing]

I do enjoy a boxed lunch.

[laughing]

Yum yum yum!

[instrumental music]

beep

whack

pop

[all grunting]

(Sylvester)
'Hey, watch it, Buster.'

[indistinct]

- 'You're mine, morsel.'
- 'I don't think so.'

[indistinct yelling]

- 'Stop it, you can't eat me.'
- 'You're a big ol' putty tat.'

- 'Bad kitty. Bad kitty.'
- 'Alright, just a second here!'

[indistinct chatter]

Yeah.

Oh-oh.

[theme music]

[all shivering]

Suffering succotash.
Where are we?

Ohh. Cold. Taz hate cold.

Oh, what a desolate
place this is.

I'm already freezing
my tail feathers off.

Don't panic.

Maybe I can see home
from the top of that mountain.

Mountain?

Why, you'll be a frozen catsicle

before you ever get there!

Look, bird, it's your fault

we're in this
resulting predicament.

My fault?
I didn't do nothing.

- You tempted me.
- By taking a bath?

You got problems, man.

I'm going to find
a nice warm town.

- You, beast, comin' with me?
- Taz.

- What?
- Name, Taz.

Let's go, Taz.

I hope I never see you again,
bane of my existence.

[instrumental music]

[howling]

Hey, wait up.

I'm coming with you.

[shivering]

Heh-heh, who would have thought
that this thing

would be wimpier than you?

I'll have you know,
it's not exactly easy

to fight off someone ten
times
your own size.

I've got strength in me
you can't even imagine.

Yeah, well, I let you
get away most of the time.

Gotta have something to do
around the old lady's house.

[music continues]

[gasps]

Nice work, Mr. Useless.

[sobbing]

Alright, easy there, fuzzball.

I'm sure home is over
the next ridge.

Follow me.

[music continues]

[Taz whimpering]

Aw. The poor little devil
is all frozen.

You can thank Magellan
over here for the
hypothermia.

Uh, That is so like you
to try to turn this around.

Can't you just ignore me?

Can't you stop lookin'
so delicious?

[rustling]

[mumbling]

We just came
from that direction.

[roaring]

[screaming]

[roaring]

Woo! Whoa!

Aah!

[grunting]

thud

Where'd those other guys go?

I'm kind of embedded
in your back at the moment.

Oopsy, don't worry, fellas

I think we lost him.

Lost who?

Lost him!

[g*nshots]

[laughing]
Blacque Jacque Shellacque

the most formidable tracker
in all the Klondike

has found you.

Just head south
on the train tracks.

I'll distract him
and head north.

Good luck.

Surrender yourself

Monsieur Abominable Snow Person.

[panting]

'But what is this?'

'Hmm.'

'Ah-ha!'

Adieu, my great white quarry.

It pain me to see you go

but I suddenly find myself
in pursuit of more

interesting target-e.

[instrumental music]

Uh!

Oh!

[mumbling]

[grunting]

See, it's getting
warmer already.

I knew this was the right way
to go.

I don't remember
you saying anything

about walking
the train tracks south.

It was implied,
you little yellow nimrod.

[train horn blowing]

[gasps]

[dramatic music]

[mumbling]

[both scream]

[panting]

Ohh!

[both gasp]

Uh-oh.

Oh, he's stuck!
I can't lift him.

Huh!

Ohh!

[mumbling]

Wow. You saved my life.

Hey, why should we walk
the tracks

if we could ride the rails?

[instrumental music]

thud

We make a pretty good team.

Team.

Enjoy your freedom,
you fury little fugitives.

For freedom is measured
only by the distance

between the hunter and his prey.

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

[chugging]

[train horn blowing]

[intense music]

[grunts]

[laughing]

Ah-choo!

I thought we were a team.

Yeah. And you don't eat
your teammates.

Oh!

My bad.

boom

[indistinct] you walking
on hind legs

pretty pet creatures.

Now is the time for you
to come along peacefully, huh?

[Blacque groans]

[dramatic music]

[g*nshots]

[laughs]
It seems my tiny brain targets

have run out of choo-choo train.

[g*nshots]

[music continues]

chomp chomp

[grunting]

[g*nshots]

(all)
Hooray!

You're a genius, putty tat.

Whoa! I can't believe
I just said that.

Alright, from here on in

there's no more
trying to eat each other.

We're a team. Deal?

- Deal.
- Deal.

Now all we have to do

is relax in our own private car

as we roll down the tracks..

[gasps]
Out of control
in the wrong direction!

(all)
Whoa! Whoa!

[all screaming]

splash

(all)
We're saved!

[instrumental music]

(Henry)
'Give me the wrench.'

'No, Junior, the wrench.'

Forget it!

pop

Get off the jack, you pea brain.

Aah!

Uh... what else can I do, pa?

(Henry)
'Why don't you go get yourself
some souvenirs or something?'

Oh, goody, goody.

I helped and I get souvenirs.

Taz hate water.

Oh, yeah,
and cats totally love it.

Oh, at least I finally
got my bath.

Oh, boy, oh, boy.

A cute little kitty,
a darling yellow birdie

and some kind
of dog-like creature.

Would you stop squeezing us?

That actually hurts quite a bit.

[laughing]

Oh, you sure are
a funny kitty cat.

Yes, you are.

(Henry)
'Now, when I say,
"Start the car"'

'start the car.'

- Yes, Henry.
- 'Aah!'

What are you doing
starting the car?

I thought I said
not to start the car

until I say,
"Start the car."

Now don't start the car
till I say

' "Start the car."'

Yes, Henry.

pop

Hey, pa, I got my souvenirs.

Just get in the car.

[laughing]

(Junior)
'Okay, pa.'

Go on a road trip, they said.

Nothing's more relaxing
than the open road, they said.

Now, we're all gonna play
a little game.

'We're gonna see
who can go the longest'

'without making a sound.'

I don't wanna hear
one word out of anyone

till we get to the Grand Canyon.

- But...
- Not one word.

[engine revving]

thud

I was just going to say

that you forgot to take
the car off the jack.

[chuckling]

You lose, ma.

[instrumental music]

[rattling]

[laughing]

I miss granny.

Yeah, me, too.

It is with sincere regret

that the great
Blacque Jacque Shellacque

inform you that he has
uncharacteristically lost sight

of his most elusive bounty.

Scratch that.
Call you later.

[dramatic music]

[tires screeching]

Oh, now let me see.

Where did I put that
pretty bow for your hair?

Oh, where do you think
you're going, Mr. Lumpy Bottom?

You can't go flying
out the window

without first asking
for permission.

thud thud

crash

splash

[instrumental music]

Who would have thought
the desert would be so hot?

Junior, what are those animals
doing in my car?

But, pa, you said
I could have them.

You know you're not
allowed to have pets.

Well, actually, dear,
you said he could keep them.

Fine, but I ain't gonna be
the one burying them this time.

Burying them?

It's all fun and games
until someone gets crushed.

Oh, Henry, Junior's just
what I like to call

lethally affectionate.

Yipe.

Uh, I think it might
be time to say goodbye

to our bear family, friends.

Ooh, I got an idea.

pop

Uh, pa?

[whispering]
I think I had an accident
in my pants.

Didn't I ask if you
had to go to the bathroom

before we left?

(Junior)
'But, pa, I did not have to go
when we left.'

[music continues]

Let's boogie.

[instrumental music]

[groaning]

So thirsty.

[panting]

I need a drink.

[slurping]

Ahh.

[splashing]

- We're saved!
- We're saved!

pop

What?

[music continues]

[bird screeching]

[dramatic music]

[screaming]

Oh, goody, you're awake.

[laughs]
Let me take your vital signs.

What are you talking about?

Oh, where are we?

You're in my patrol balloon.

[laughs]
I'm a rescue buzzard.

Oh, ho-ho.

You no eat us?

Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no.

I'm not here to eat you.

I'm here to help you.

So, uh, how do you
sustain yourself?

Uh, uh, well,
it's a slow-moving balloon.

I-I-I don't always
get there in time.

Ugh.

[engine revving]

[dramatic music]

Huh?

Ah-ha!

The game, she is on a new foot.

whoosh

You know, at times like this

I wonder why we ever
fought at all.

Well, it usually has a lot to do

with you trying to eat me

and me trying not to be eaten.

Yeah, I can't remember, either.

Taz like friends.

whoosh

I'll have you home in no time.
Ha ha.

[plane engine revving]

[laughing]

No one escape
the Blacque Jacque Shellacque.

[intense music]

[screaming]

[laughing]

thud

[g*nshots]

Beaky Buzzard to the rescue.

Ha ha.

[grunts]

thud thud

Maybe I should have
just eaten them.

[laughing]

[music continues]

pow

I wonder where he's taking us.

It can't be anywhere good.

[mumbling]

(Blacque)
'I have the animals.'

'I think you will agree this
more than satisfy our debt.'

Oh, on, we're done for!

Taz scared.

Whatever happens next

I just want you to know

you're not the bane
of my existence.

I love you, man.

Stop. You're...
going to make me cry.

Taz love kitty.

Taz love birdie.

[all crying]

There you are, boy.

Oh, you had me so worried.

[instrumental music]

[laughing]

I told you he'd find them.

There's no finer tracker
than my cousin

Blacque Jacque Shellacque.

It's a fair exchange for
the mechanical bull you sent.

And your pets are very slippery.

They escaped every time
I fired my tranquilizer b*ll*ts.

Tranquilizer b*ll*ts?

There's no such thing
as tranquilizer b*ll*ts.

Cut him some slack.
He's Canadian.

Come [indistinct].

Let us retire
to your local gymnasium

to work out our pies
and tris, huh?

The house has been
so quiet without you.

Hey, Daffy, look,
Poochie's back.

Oh, did he go somewhere?
Was it the dump?

He smells like
he went to the dump.

[instrumental music]

- What?
- You love me.

I never said that.

Oh, yes, you did.

You love me!

Look, I-I was under
a lot of pressure.

People say all kinds of
things
when they're stressed.

That's okay, putty tat.

You ain't half bad yourself.

Look, bird,
the minute the old lady

closes this door
it's business as usual.

Bring it on.

[grunting]

'Come here old putty tat!'

[theme music]

[mumbling]