02x26 - SuperRabbit

[bunniefuu]

[clattering]

[clang]

[clattering]

[intense music]

Hyah!

Oh, thanks.

Cheesy dashboard hula dolls
and dirty blankets are

hot ticket items.

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

- 'Eh, what's up, doc?'
- Yard sale.

I need money to
buy Tina's birthday present

you know, something special
like a string of pearls

or a mariachi uniform.

Maybe. Those uniforms
are like wearable gold.

So you're selling my stuff?

You know that everything I
own comes from the generosity

of friends, which I then
break and turn into garbage.

Hello, shiny.
What are you worth?

Why, nothing.
I-it's a worthless trinket.

sniff sniff sniff

You're lying..

...and you're using
a new soap

that smells like sunshine.

Oh, thanks, it's a body wash
but you're right

and it's time
you knew the truth.

I knew it was time
I knew the truth.

I'm not the bunny
you think I am.

My name isn't really Bugs.

It's Kal-El.

I was born long ago
on the Planet Krypton.

Hold on a sec! Krypton?

Oh, no, you don't.

That's Superman's home planet.

I fell for that once
but I'm way too smart

to fall for it again.

I meant Crypton
with a C, not a K.

Oh, Crypton with a C.

Okay. I buy it. Continue.

It was a simpler,
more dangerous time.

[dramatic music]

I lived in
the city of Metropolis

the very definition of a city

and a primary target
for every supervillain

with an evil scheme.

[dramatic music]

[zaps]

[music continues]

Luckily, I was
the greatest superhero

earth had ever known.
I was Superrabbit.

Say, "Ahh,"
you mechanical maroon!

[grunting]
Huh?

[evil laugh]

Poor, deluded Superrabbit

your might is no match
for my mind.

I'm turning Metropolis
into Tiny Miniopolis

and you will be
its star attraction

that is as soon as I find you.

[grunts]

Whoa!

- Errff!
- Eeh.

Maybe you should change
your name to Lame Brainiac.

You're making me very
angry, very angry indeed.

Don't forget,
I'm not just superstrong.

I'm also superagile..

and superphotogenic.

Ohh! Ugh!

pew pew pew

Oh, goodie! I got him,
I got him, I got him!

Eh... got who, genius?

Mm-whah!

Ohh! Oh, ooh, ohh!

Yuck!

[spitting]

What is it with you and
this shrinking stuff anyway?

I'd explain but I highly doubt

a pea brain like yours
would understand.

Oh, it's a brain size thing.
Let's see.

pew

I will make you suffer
for all eternity.

Hee hee hee! Sorry.

I can't take you
seriously with that voice.

pew

You pushed the wrong button.

Give me the cannon.
Let me do it.

Yeah, right, the "S"
on my chest doesn't stand

for "simpleton."

pew pew pew

Oh, look.
I'm a regular Pablo Picasso.

[groans]

I loved everything about
being a hero, the powers

the action, the attention,
the costume

but I loved the people
most of all

and the people loved me back.

boom

[all shouting]

Sorry I cwashed your
wittle party, Superwabbit.

[intense music]

Lex Luthor,
it's never a pleasure.

pew pew pew

Try to keep up.

[gasps]

Shh. Be very, very quiet.

I'm hunting Superwabbit.

[all screaming]

Oh, Mr. Superwabbit, come out,
come out wherever you are.

(Superrabit)
'Yoo-hoo!'

[gasps]

crash

pew pew pew

[car alarms blaring]

[music continues]

pew pew pew

[yawns]
Are you almost finished?

[grunting]
Scwewy wabbit!

[blowing air]

Whoa!

Oof!

[groaning]

[dramatic music]

Ooh, I wonder if I could hit

that cloud shaped like a fishy.

clang

Home run!
Superrabbit wins!

[crowd cheering]

Congwatulations, show boat.

You just waunched an unstable
nucwear acclewator into space.

(Bugs)
And that was my big mistake.

Why? Was the w*r suit a rental?

No, the phantom zone
was orbiting earth

and General Zod was waiting
for a chance to escape

and I gave it to him.

Oh, no! Not him!
Not General Zod!

Who's General Zod?

This might be a good time

for a strategically
placed flashback.

Many years ago back on Crypton

my father put General Zod
and his minions on trial.

Counselors of Crypton,
three criminals stand before us

for judgment.

Thunkian, a relentless
fighting machine

'with the intellect
and personality of a lost sock.'

'Faora a bitter she-bully,
punishing the universe'

'for her dysfunctional romance'

'with insensitive boyfriend
General Zod.'

And General Zod himself

'the would-be tyrant'

'blindly obsessed'

'with making others submit.'

As the evidence will show,
these three have repeatedly...

- Guilty!
- Guilty!

- Guilty!
- Oh, come on!

You guys do that
every time, every time!

As you know, Jor-El,
the verdict must be unanimous.

You alone will condemn us

and you alone will suffer
my wrath if you do.

General Zod, I banish
you and your cohorts

now and forever.

You will kneel
before me, Jor-El.

You and anyone who wears that
silly "S" on their chest.

That's it? A thr*at?

Not a thr*at, my darling, a vow.

Great. Problem solved then.

[dramatic music]

[screams]

(Zod)
'Jor-El-ll!'

So you understand
who General Zod is now?

Yep. He's a smart, handsome,
charming, rich go-getter.

- No.
- Agree to disagree.

Anyway, back to the story.

[intense music]

[automated message]
Main reactor breached.
Thermal detonation imminent.

Detonation in 10 seconds.

Ten, nine, eight, seven..

- General, look!
- Yes, my darling, I see it.

(Zod)
'Heading straight for us and'

'counting down
as if it were going to..'

(Faora)
Explode!

[screaming]

The yellow sun gives
cryptonians great power

powers that we will use to wreak
vengeance on Kal-El

or Superrabbit,
as he is known on earth.

Doesn't he have the same power?

Yes, but we are three,
and he is one.

We will crush him, and then he
will kneel, kneel before Zod.

How about we skip the
kneeling and just get rid

of Superrabbit so we can
take over the planet

with minimal resistance?

Skip the kneeling?

Why, kneeling is the
most important part!

Come, my witless monkeys.

It's w*r time!

[crowd cheering]

[instrumental music]

[elephants trumpet]

People of Metropolis,
Superrabbit has your back.

No harm will come to you
on my watch.

That's a promise.

[screaming]

[elephants trumpet]

But will you keep that promise?

General Zod?

I'm not here to
fight you, Kal-El.

I'm here to watch you surrender.

You're gonna have to make me
and that's not going to happen.

You're right.
It's beneath me.

I'll have my minions do it.

[dramatic music]

[grunting]

smack

[grunts]

crash

Say it.

[groaning]

I... surrender.

Citizens of Metropolis

allow me to introduce you

to your new king

King Zod of Earth!

[all gasps]

[indistinct chattering]

[music continues]

(Bugs)
I was defeated
for the first time in my life

so I sought the guidance of the
one person who could help me.

- 'Justin Timberlake?'
- 'No. My father.'

[instrumental music]

Father!

Right here, son.
Why are you shouting?

You'll never
guess what happened.

- You lost a fight.
- Can you believe it?

Yes, because you had it coming.

- What? How can you say that?
- You've lost your way, son.

You've become a superspectacle.

This was your idea.
"Wear a costume," you said.

"Be a symbol," you said.

A symbol of hope, not of excess.

'Showing off
is a poor use of power.'

Heroism is about helping others

not parades or grandstanding.

But I keep Metropolis safe.

Has it ever occurred to
you that you're the reason

Metropolis has
the highest rate of

supervillainy in the world?

You're a magnet for evil

'and now you've
attracted the most'

'dangerous thr*at of all..'

'...Zod.'

I know I can b*at him.

Not with Faora
and that robot at his side.

They're too strong
for you alone.

'The only way to win
is to use your head.'

Find their weaknesses, son.

Make them your strengths

and be a true hero once again.

Thanks, pop.

♪ All fear
our dreadful king ♪

♪ Beware our wicked king ♪

♪ All fear King Zod ♪

♪ We writhe in agony ♪

♪ While he lives happily ♪

♪ We beg him for mercy ♪

♪ All fear King Zod ♪♪

No. Too joyful. Go back to the
sl*ve pits and write me another.

[intense music]

Are you sure you need an anthem?

Of course, it's basic conquest

etiquette, my darling.
What's next?

There's a reporter
here for an interview.

- I can toss him out a window.
- No. Send him in.

The earthlings must get
to know their new master.

Hello. I'm Clark Kent
from the "Daily Planet."

If you don't mind,
I just have a few questions.

We'll be done in a jiff.

You may ask your
questions, word peddler.

Oh. You're too kind.

Faora, now why do you stay
in a relationship with Zod

when he ignores everything
you say, want, and need?

And, Thunkian, do you mind
being treated like a child

because you don't talk?

And, King Zod, is all the
dominant bluster just a way

of dealing
with your insecurities?

And finally, if the three of you
have nothing in common

why are you together?

What?

Destroy this insolent worm!

Before you do that,
you should know

that I'm not just a reporter.

[gasps]

I'm also a guy who doesn't
like out-of-towners

messing up my city.

[glass breaks]

After him!

[dramatic music]

(Superrabit)
You can do better than Zod,
you know?

I bet a lot of guys would be
interested in a hot

super she-predator
like yourself.

You, uh, you think I'm hot?

Heck, yeah!

[giggles]

Mmm.

But I already got a girlfriend.

[growling]

- 'You're not a child.'
- Huh?

You're a full-grown robot
and you deserve

to be treated like one.

Hmm.

[instrumental music]

- Hup!
- Hup!

At ease, soldier.

The statue's a bit much,
isn't it?

You!

You will grovel before me.

Is this about your height?
You're not that short.

Eh, I guess next to your friends
you are pretty shrimpy.

Thunkian, close Superrabbit's
mouth permanently.

- Err.
- What?

Faora, make Superrabbit
beg for mercy now!

I'm your girlfriend, Zod.
I don't take orders from you.

Fine. You and I are finished.
Now you will crush Superrabbit.

You're right about
one of those things.

Well, your worshipfulness,
it looks like

it's just you and me.

[screams]

whack

crash

bang

[dramatic music]

zap

boom

[Zod screams]

[expl*si*n]

[grunting]

thud thud thud

[zaps]

boom boom

[all gasping]

boom

[siren wailing]

boom

[grunts]

[zaps]

[music continues]

Down the rabbit hole.
How predictable.

[grunts]

[chuckles]

pew pew

[zaps]

Aaa!

[music continues]

[gasping]

Whoa!

[Zod screams]

crash

Aaa-ah!

[groans]

Hey, Zod.
Kneel before yourself.

[zaps]

[dramatic music]

Ooh. I'm going to hurt me.

[music continues]

(Bugs)
I located a new phantom zone
and stuck Zod, Faora

and Thunkian inside it.

[music continues]

That was the last
time I saw them.

That was also the last time
I was Superrabbit

because I learned
that power corrupts..

...unless it's tempered
by humility.

- So you just gave it all up?
- Yep.

[scoffs]
You made up that whole story.

No one would ever walk
away from all that power.

Just for that,
I'm selling your stuff

and keeping all the money.

You were gonna do that anyway.

I know.

Hey, let's save two seconds
off our walk home

by going down this dark
and desolate alley.

[intense music]

O-ohh!

I'll take those pretty pearls.

Huh?

Huh? Ahh!

[grunting]

Who are you?

I'm Batrabbit.

Oh, well, don't expect a tip.

I didn't ask to be saved.

Ain't I a stinker?

[theme music]

And that's the end.