04x03 - A Rainbow in Beige Boots

[bunniefuu]

EVE: She's just the kind
of girl they would recruit.

Disenfranchised, disposable.

- MARTIN: How is Villanelle?
- She's Christian now.

I'm a bad person
who's trying to be good.

- Is that possible?
- (SCREAMS)

I think reinvention is
a form of avoidance.

- Who's at the top?
- I'll tell you after dessert.

A rat for a rat.

VLAD: A little light intimidation.

- (SHOUTS)
- EVE: Ugh!

MAY: Now I don't think
anyone could love her.

I think she's the Devil.

- (SCREAMING)
- (ROCK MUSIC)

(VILLANELLE GRUNTS)

(UNSETTLING MUSIC)

(DOOR BEEPS)

(TRAFFIC PASSES NEARBY)

(GENTLE ELECTRONIC ROCK MUSIC)

SONG: ♪ Walk on ♪

♪ Walk ♪

♪ Walk on ♪

♪ Walk, walk ♪

♪ Walk on ♪

♪ Walk ♪

♪ Walk on ♪

♪ Walk ♪

♪ Walk on. ♪

WOMAN: Here you are.

- Oh, thank you.
- No problem.

(DOOR BEEPS AND OPENS)

(SIGHS)

VILLANELLE: Hi.

Oh.

What the...

Actually, never mind.

Are you going to slap me again?

No.

What's it this time?

- I need help.
- Oh.

Why don't you ask Jesus?

(SCOFFS)

Where have you been?

- Paris.
- Paris.

What happened to your hand?

What happened to your clothes?

(SLOW ROCK MUSIC)

Can I stay here?

SONG: ♪ You've got this strange... ♪

Eve?

Just for tonight. Eve, things are bad.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Um,

take whatever you want.

There's money on the bedside table.

♪ Oh, yes, you've got this strange... ♪

Can you be gone when I get back?

♪ And I like the way you kiss me... ♪

- ♪ Don't... ♪
- (MUSIC STOPS)

(HARD ROCK MUSIC)

(MUSIC ENDS)

(DOORBELL BUZZES)

(DOORBELL BUZZES)

- Oh!
- (SIGHS)

I've barely had a chance
to wash my bits.

Villanelle's in my room.

What? What does she want?

Sanctuary? I think she's k*lled again.

(SIGHS) What do you wanna do?

(SIGHS)

Nothing.

It's not my job.

Right.

(CLOSES DOOR) Whoa!

There's some sensitive
material on there.

Well, is it sensitive if everyone
in a -mile radius has seen it?

Can you... What? Fair.

Oh, can you find where
Helene's car has been?

- Here's her reg.
- Yeah. Easy.

ANPR will flag that.

- a*t*matic number plate...
- I don't care.

Well, then just... yes.

Okay, you ready for my theory?

Born ready.

Helene is as clueless as we are

about who sits at the top of The Twelve.

I think she is torturing each
member to get to the next,

one by one until she works her way
up to the head of the monster.

It's a form of the contact chain method.

That would make sense.

Yeah. Why didn't we think of that?

Yeah. I'm... I'm kicking myself.

t*rture is actually one
of my strong suits.

So, she's not that far ahead.

- (LAPTOP BLEEPS)
- No. Ah.

This number plate was picked up
on a congestion zone camera,

- : last night.
- Fitzrovia Garage.

So her London base
must be near Fitzrovia.

Or the driver keeps
her car in Fitzrovia.

I mean, that's rich people for you.

- Wanna do a stakeout?
- Uh, yes.

But one of us is gonna have
to spend the morning

keeping a senior diplomat
from Bahrain alive, so...

(TAPS CHAIR)

(BOTH HUFF IN SYNC)

You're such a rock.

(SARCASTICALLY) "You're such a rock."

Eh! Huh!

- (GRUNTS) Uh!
- (GASPS)

- (GRUNTS)
- Ugh!

Hey! Paper wins.

('SASS GIRL' BY WARGIRL)

(SINGS ALONG) ♪ I've been
bad, I've been good ♪

♪ I've been doing what I should ♪

♪ People, shout it loud ♪
♪ Can you hear our anthem? ♪

♪ People, say it proud ♪

♪ And we don't stop ♪
♪ And we don't stop ♪

♪ And we don't stop ♪

♪ And we don't stop ♪

♪ Boy will creep into my 'hood ♪

♪ I ain't doing what I should ♪

♪ People like my vibes double-size ♪
♪ You a liar ♪

♪ People got my vibe
on my elevator higher ♪

- ♪ But you know they don't ♪
- ♪ And we don't stop ♪

♪ And we don't stop ♪

♪ No, resist ♪
♪ The world... ♪

(HAIR DRYER WHIRRS)

♪ Don't take our voice away ♪

♪ No, resist ♪

♪ The world is ours again ♪

♪ Resist ♪
♪ Don't take our voice away ♪

♪ No, resist ♪

♪ The world is ours again ♪

♪ We said don't take... ♪

- Mmm.
- ♪ Our voice away. ♪

For a princess.

I've run out of my brochures.
Won't be a minute.

- Oh, Elliot.
- Get away!

Creep.

I finished with Mr. Turner.

We can do family viewings tomorrow.

Thank you.

It's not the rat. And the
smell is ever ripening.

For the life of me,
I can't find the source.

You could have cleaned the place up.

I wouldn't dream of it.

Of course you could get me an office,

instead of having me pecking around here

like a pigeon in the attic.

You know I can't.

Well, then, three suspected members
of The Twelve m*rder*d so far,

all of them by sadistic t*rture.

I may have found us a fourth.

Who?

Well, 'how' might be a
more pertinent question.

A man was found dead in a farm.

He'd been tied up, his feet
had been dipped in salt

and goats allowed to lick them raw.

Like fleshy ice creams.

Hmm.

(LAUGHS) Carolyn, come on.

Nobody else claimed it.

It's interesting. Keep digging.

(SNIFFS)

Why don't you take the
rest of the afternoon off?

Go sightseeing or eat some brunch.

I knew a man who d*ed
eating brunch. (SNIFFS)

He made handwoven silk rugs

using an ancient technique from China.

They were just utterly exquisite things.

But, alas, he choked
on a stray raspberry

floating in his... bottomless Bellini.

- (SNIFFS)
- (DOORBELL RINGS REPEATEDLY)

I'm gonna have to start charging... Oh!

What can I help you with?

Aren't you a therapist?

- Yeah. Sort of.
- Well...

(SCOFFS)

I want therapy.

Um,

therapy requires a situation
where we both feel safe,

but... I don't feel very safe.

So my suggestion is you leave

- and we make an appointment...
- No.

No.

I work at Broadmoor.

If I don't turn up to work today,
alarm bells will be raised.

You're going to call in sick.

Right.

What do you want to talk about?

What do you know about me?

I know that you're an assassin,
highly skilled one.

(HALF-LAUGHS)

Are you flattering me?

- No.
- No.

Just the facts.

What's bothering you, Villanelle?

(WISTFUL MUSIC)

I don't like the way I feel.

Which is what?

Hmm.

Like sh*t. (CHUCKLES) All of the time.

I want you to fix that.

(WOMAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

I just want to pay for this, you know?

You know me. You know I know Helene.

And Helene...

(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

MAN: Look, I can't have trouble today.

(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

I mean, Helene... she just didn't
punched my heart to bits.

- Read one bastard letter. Read!
- I'm sorry. Helene's a player.

I've gotta go pick her up.

(GROANS)

Are you honestly doing
this over the phone?

Can we just at least...

Yeah, well, screw you!

- I'm so... I'm so sorry.
- I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

Um, uh...

- Oh.
- No.

My girlfriend just dumped
me over the phone.

That dog.

- I'm so sorry.
- No.

- Women can be cruel.
- Oh, you're telling me. (LAUGHS)

- Oh, you've been there?
- Oh, yeah, chica.

Big-time.

You know what? Forget her.

- She's poop on your shoe.
- (SIGHS)

Um, you know, I know this is,
like, totally pathetic, but...

I have no friends in this
country. Literally not one.

And I... I really don't wanna
be on my own right now.

Can I...

Can I buy you a cup of
coffee or a glass of wine?

No.

Oh.

'Cause you do have a friend.

Oh! Oh...

Thank you!

(INSTRUMENTS CLATTER)

Are you stupid?

Just a... genuine question,
'cause I've said so many times,

you're only allowed out
there when I say so.

You scare off the customers.

Sorry.

"Sorry."

(HUFFS)

You know I don't need
to be here, don't you?

I could've just put you in foster care

and then I'd be at uni.

Having the time of my life.

Yeah, you've mentioned it.

You're a nobody.

It's no wonder Dad hated you.

He wanted Mum to have an abortion.

He'd be embarrassed to see
how you run his business.

Don't you agree, Mr. Turner?

'Bye, Pam.

- (BANGING AND RATTLING)
- (DARK MUSIC)

- Here's to being dumped.
- (CHUCKLES)

And this girlfriend from hell.

- Salud.
- Salud.

- Mmm.
- Mmm.

- I'm Nicole, by the way.
- Mmm. Oh, I'm Fernanda.

Nicole, women are so much worse
than men. No-one told me.

- You didn't get the memo?
- (CHUCKLES) No.

This was actually my first
time with a woman, so...

- Really?
- Mmm.

Mmm. She must have been really special.

Hotter than potatoes.

Sexy, mysterious...

and French.

(UPBEAT FRENCH POP MUSIC)

We'll have a bottle.

Thank you.

(CHILDREN LAUGH)

Like toxic waste.

So British.

It's melting.

(CHILDREN CHATTER)

- So, what do you need, Pam?
- Um, yeah, so...

I was just wondering
if you think I'm ready.

Whether I could start work soon.

No. Not just yet.

- Right. Yeah. Cool.
- Mmm.

I'll do whatever it takes.
I can put extra hours in.

Pam, is there anything
you'd like to tell me?

I don't know. I don't think so.

Well, there's a former employee of MI

who came to your funeral home

and you didn't tell me.

That woman then, in turn,
tracked down my home in Paris,

where my daughter lives.

MI ?

It's fine.

What's the rush? What's so pressing?

I just...

(SIGHS)

Things are difficult at home.

Yeah. I get that.

It must be hard.

You know, I was drawn to you
the moment I first met you.

This little ghost of a girl
hiding in the shadows.

People don't notice you.

And if they do, they underestimate you.

And there lies your power.

You're going to be extraordinary, Pam.

But you're not ready yet.

Trust me. I'll tell you
when you are, okay?

We connected here, you know, Nicole?

Before we connected here!

It was fire. It was danger.

She changed me.

Ohh.

Ohh.

The woman on the phone, what's she like?

(UNSETTLING MUSIC)

Controlling.

Selfish.

Delusional.

SONG: ♪ There's something about... ♪

You go and talk to her, Nicole.

She only gets to play games

if you are ready to play them.

(HICCUPS)

♪ There's something about ♪

♪ The way you are... ♪

You said that you felt like poo.

Is that common for you?

No.

So why now?

I don't know.

I k*lled two people last night
after I tried really hard not to.

Okay, well, that's not ideal,

but presumably common for you.

So why has this shaken you?

Martin, I'm a rainbow

in a world full of beige
people like you.

- No offence.
- No.

I usually know what I want

and who I want and how I want it,

and now I don't.

I don't even trust my
own thoughts right now.

Ah.

Can you say more about that?

Is this what being insecure feels like?

Okay.

Let me put it this way.

Change isn't always comfortable.

But feeling like poo
might be a good thing.

A sign that you're already
mid-metamorphosis.

(WISTFUL MUSIC)

SONG: ♪ It won't be long
till the sun appears ♪

♪ And the rain starts to fall ♪

♪ It won't be long ♪
♪ It won't be long ♪

♪ It won't be long ♪

♪ Hold on, hold on ♪

♪ Hold on, hold on. ♪

(MUSIC PLAYS ON PHONE)

- Are you afraid of dead bodies?
- Oh!

What the hell are you doing?

Are you?

- No.
- Elliot?

Apologise.

- You are, aren't you?
- Apologise.

Boo!

- (GRUNTS)
- (METAL CLATTERS)

Apologise!

- You think I'm joking?
- No.

Please don't, Elliot. Please.
Please don't. I'm sorry.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Oh! Oh! (PANTS)

(GROANS)

I'm gonna k*ll you.

- I'm gonna k*ll you.
- (GASPS)

- Arrgh!
- (COUGHS)

SONG: ♪ I know what you're thinking... ♪

- (GRUNTS)
- Ugh!

- (PANTS)
- You're not a very nice boy, Elliot.

Ahh! Ugh!

- (GRUNTS)
- ♪ Calling on you ♪

♪ Have a clue... ♪

(BLADE CLATTERS)

- It was so cruel.
- EVE: Mmm.

Because she knew that
my husband had just left.

Oh, you were married?

Five years.

Oh.

He was rich. Big-bucks rich.

What did he do?
Was he, like, in finance?

Oh, you know what?

I have no idea.

- I was never allowed to ask.
- Oh.

- But I found out why.
- Why?

I find these letters from this woman.

He's clearly been shacking up with
her every time he's out of town.

Ohh!

So you know what? I confronted him.

And he walked out.

Never came back.

So you haven't spoken since
and you don't know where he is?

Mm-mm.

Well, wh... Where could he be?

(HUFFS)

(HICCUPS) I don't know.
And that's why I'm here.

I have nothing left in Cuba.

God.

- And then you met Helene.
- Oh!

- Then... (SPEAKS SPANISH)
- (SIGHS)

She's done the same as him!

(GRUNTS)

I think these are out of date.

Oh, you know, we should
get you some water.

That ex-husband sounds
like a real assh*le.

What was his name?

(COUGHS AND GULPS)

I need the bathroom. Sorry.

- Oh, um...
- (CLINKING AND RATTLING)

Okay.

Uh, let me know if you need anything.

(UNEASY SYNTH ROCK MUSIC)

♪ There's only so many times ♪

- _
- ♪ You can say this ♪

♪ Who in the world ♪

♪ Wants to be kicked? ♪

♪ Feeling ♪

♪ It runs out of me ♪

♪ I've decided... ♪

Nicole?

♪ Three times ♪

♪ Sorry. ♪

(SNIFFS) Mmm.

Sorry, it's all I've got in.

It's, uh, Lunchables.

- You have kids?
- No.

- Aren't you going to eat?
- No, my, um, IBS is playing up.

- Yeah, feeling a bit...
- Mmm.

... cramp... crampy.

Okay.

Do you think I was born like this?

What do you mean, a psychopath?

Do you think you were born like this?

Hmm.

Being a therapist is easy.

Mmm.

I ask something and
you just repeat it back

with a question mark on the end.

Mmm.

The point is, is that I don't know you,

so how you feel is more
important than what I think.

And, no, I don't believe you have
to be born with psychopathy

to behave like one.
I mean, look at mercenaries.

They're trained into it.

Would you rather you weren't?

A psychopath?

Do you know how many psychopaths
have sat in front of me

and said they don't want
to be a psychopath?

Zero.

Psychopaths feel superior.

Like a god.

And gods don't often think
they need to change.

So... I'd say that's hopeful.

(CHUCKLES)

(SCOFFS)

(SIGHS)

You've done a lot of good work.

Think that's a good
place to end for today.

Did you just say that stuff
to try and get rid of me?

- Did you?
- No.

Don't make fun of me.

(UNSETTLING MUSIC)

Are you okay? What's happened?

I m*rder*d my brother.

- Excuse me?
- I stabbed him times

and then embalmed his body.

- Did you clean up?
- Yeah.

- Where's the body now?
- It's in the morgue.

I told you you weren't ready.

Did you think that was
open for interpretation?

No, it's just you said
people underestimate...

Yeah, I'm still talking.

Disobey me again and you will learn

how easily dispensable you are.

Are you following me?

Are you following me?

(PHONE RINGS)

Good. Now, go. I need
to handle this. Go.

(PHONE RINGS)

- What?
- MAN ON PHONE: Rustem survived.

The FSB have got him. (HANGS UP)

Merde !

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

(WOMAN SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

(MEN SPEAK FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

(MUSIC STOPS)

(BLOWS)

(MUSIC RESUMES)

(MUSIC STOPS)

(SNIFFS)

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Morning, Claudia.

How is the English coming?

Tremendous.

Good!

Is that for me?

I made my own sausages.

Chubby bangers!

- Oh, you're spoiling me.
- (LAUGHS)

Special treat for Mr. Big Boss.

(PHONE RINGS AND BUZZES)

- Uh, I'll get...
- No, no, no. It's one of mine.

- (PHONE RINGS AND BUZZES)
- Thank you, Claudia.

Okay.

(UNSETTLING MUSIC)

(RINGING CONTINUES)

Yes?

(WOMAN SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE) _

(SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE) _

_

_

_

_

_

_

_

_

_

_

_

_

Peat moss.

(CHUCKLES)

Marvellous.

(PANTS)

Hang on, say that again.

So Helene's ex-girlfriend's
ex-husband is who?

I don't know.

- Oh. (LAUGHS)
- But he's someone...

I think that's who Helene
is trying to get to

because Fernanda isn't her type.

How do you know what her type is?

Oh.

I know what she likes.

Okay.

I think you're being sexist.

Maybe Fernanda's the one in The Twelve.

No. Number one, if she was,

Helene would have yanked
her fingernails out by now.

And number two...

Oh.

- Right, yeah. Not very Twelve.
- Mm-hm.

(MESSAGE ALERT PLAYS)

Oh, is that it?

Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

You need to be much faster.

Ah.

(CHUCKLES)

Marriage certificate.

- Ohh.
- Mm-hm.

Hello, Lars Meier.

- 'May-er'.
- Lars 'May-er'.

- (LIVELY CHATTER)
- (FOOD SIZZLES)

CAROLYN: I have never seen your
toes nude in public before.

It's very unsettling.

(CHUCKLES)

It seems our assassin is in Scotland.

- I'll fly there tomorrow.
- Well, there's been another att*ck.

A Russian agent in Cuba.

Rustem Zeman. He survived.

Well, then he must be a
member of The Twelve.

Indeed.

Which means he's been
under your nose all along.

He was sadistically tortured
and left for dead.

His toes were severed and
inserted into his nostrils.

Well, a live victim might
be more loquacious

- than an assassin.
- Yeah.

I've had him moved into a safe
house to be taken care of.

- He won't survive a flight as yet.
- Well, forget Scotland.

Leave him to me. I'll fly to Cuba.

Are you sure? It might get ugly.

Oh, Vlad, I am more than
ready to get my hands dirty.

- (CHUCKLES)
- (UPBEAT CUBAN MUSIC)

Now let me have some
of your delicious food.

Thank you.

_

- (MUSIC ENDS)
- (DOOR CLOSES)

- (UNSETTLING MUSIC)
- _

_

_

Enough.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Well,

there's an elephant in the room
that we haven't addressed yet.

What about her?

Well, you want to change and
you want to stop k*lling.

You've had plenty of opportunity
to k*ll Eve over the years

- and you never have.
- Well, I've tried.

If you wanted her dead, she'd be dead.

So what sets her apart?

Do you enjoy the power
you have over her?

Yes.

In healthy relationships,

you have to make
yourself vulnerable too,

allow someone else to have
that sort of power over you.

Well, Eve does.

- Does she?
- Yes. She's ruined everything.

So why don't you move on, then?

Because that would ruin everything.

So what do you want from her?

I want to smell her skin.

(UNSETTLING MUSIC)

I want to hear the boring
stuff she does every day

that she wouldn't bother
telling anyone else

because it's really that boring.

Oh, but to me it would
be fascinating because...

it's Eve.

Because in our bones,
we understand each other.

Eve's not beige, then?

She's a rainbow in beige boots.

- (SIGHS)
- (DOORBELL RINGS)

- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- (DOORBELL RINGS REPEATEDLY)

EVE: Villanelle! (KNOCKS AT DOOR)

Open the door.

Ugh! (GROANS)

Hi! How can I help you?

- Let me in.
- (GRUNTS)

Villanelle!

(PANTS)

No, he hasn't even...

- (DRAMATIC MUSIC)
- (GASPS)

It was an accident.

Will you just let me in?

- (GROANS)
- Martin.

Oh, God.

- Martin.
- (MARTIN GROANS)

Martin, can you hear me?

Relax.

Concussion at worst.

What are you even doing here?

Therapy.

You know you can just book a therapist?

You don't have to take one hostage.

Oh, but then you wouldn't
be able to get my attention.

Right. Gimme that.

You didn't have to come.

I came for Martin.

SONG: ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Go ahead and ask me ♪

♪ I don't care... ♪

(SIGHS)

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪

So, did you have any breakthroughs?

Maybe.

Mmm.

They trained me to be like this, so...

... maybe I can be trained out of it.

♪ 'Cause I've got myself ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪

Do you know that fable about
the scorpion and the frog?

- They hook up?
- No.

They both die.

(SCOFFS)

Because the scorpion
can't change its nature.

♪ I'm accountable ♪

♪ For myself... ♪

Maybe you are the scorpion.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I know, I know, I know ♪

- ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
- ♪ I was wrong. ♪

(PHONE BUZZES)

- _
- (SIGHS)

I should have done
this when we first met.

(SIGHS)

Done what?

(HEAVY BANGING)

- (BANG!)
- (INHALES)

(SIGHS)

(SLOW, DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(SIGHS)

(HANDCUFFS CLICK)

HELENE: She's young, she's green,

but she has potential.

I need her ready to work quickly.

Why the rush?

Well, you know, the usual antics.

Why not use a local handler, then?

Because you're easier to blackmail.

(LAUGHS)

No, because you're the best.

And, anyway, isn't it nice to help
a disenfranchised young woman

fulfil her potential?

Chop, chop.

(MID-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC)

♪ Baby, if you think I love
you, can you know? ♪

♪ You heard me singing it... ♪

(SNIFFS)

(DIALS NUMBER)

(DIALLED PHONE RINGS)

HELENE ON PHONE: Well, hello.

I rose to your challenge.

You found out who's at the top?

- What's the name?
- Oh, hang on.

I think you owe me dessert.

That's right. I do.

(LAUGHS)

- When are you free?
- Now.

(DOOR OPENS)

SONG: ♪ There's something about ♪

♪ The way you are... ♪

- (DOOR THUDS, KEYS JANGLE)
- ♪ That makes me... ♪

(SIGHS)

HELENE: Her brain, it's like
a hamster on a wheel.

KONSTANTIN: So, tell me about yourself.

- What are you good at?
- Embalming.

(LAUGHS)

- (BANG!)
- Look what the cat dragged in.

I thought you were dead.

- Whoo!
- (CLANG!)

Don't underestimate me.

HELENE: No-one leaves The Twelve.

I've been tracking att*cks
on members of The Twelve.

- Look. Is that him?
- YUSUF: That's gotta be him.

(BANGS ON DOOR) I want my phone call!