02x23 - Paint By Committee

[bunniefuu]

Hey!

Welcome to the
Freedom Tunnel.

Are you guys painters?

Well, no. But as you can see,
I am an artiste.

My medium is fabric, seasonal
fruits, and cuddly creatures.

That's cool. Your art sounds
delicious and fuzzy.

What is this place anyway?

It used to be
an abandoned train tunnel,

but now it's been set aside
by the city for artists

to paint whatever they want.

Or hiding when they have a
fight with their girlfriends.

We're looking for Alex Russo.

Follow me.

Thank you.

Oh! What's this supposed to be?

It's a question mark.

No, I know what it is,
but what's it mean?

It means whatever you
want it to mean, man.

I think it means he hasn't
decided what to paint yet.

- Hey, Alex.
- Hey, Line.

I get it. It's a car
symbol in a tunnel,

on a cracked wall,

representing
the death of industry.

No, it's my initial in a
circle, representing...

...my initial in a circle.

Hey, Larry.

I was wrong.
Way off. Yeah.

It is her initial
inside a circle.

Congratulations, Alex.

I'm the president
of the committee.

I'm supposed to
congratulate her first.

Well, I'm vice president.
What do I get to do?

After I congratulate her,
you get to wish her well.

Oh, for the love.
Would somebody congratulate me

and then tell me what for?

The Tribeca Prep
Mural Paint Committee

had a meeting and I nominated
you to be mural painter.

Oh, my gosh. You nominated me
to paint a mural for the school?

No.

Alex, I need your help.

The rest of the submissions
were terrible.

So I told them about how
you do murals down here

and they all
agreed to it.

I questioned why I even brought
it up, but it was too late.

- Don't let me down.
- Yeah, don't let him down.

I'd say don't let me down,
but you could never let me down.

Anymore.

Paint a mural for the whole
school? I don't know.

You'll get out
of class to do it.

Well, then, you should have
said that first. What an honor.

Ham and cheese on white,
wheat or sourdough.

Your choice of side salad,
cole slaw, or French fries.

- Max? What are you doing?
- Yeah?

I'm making a video menu.

We have so many options that
I can't remember them all,

so I'm just going to play
this for the customers.

We are gonna start
hiring people to work here

who aren't related to me.

You'd have to pay them, Dad.

Oh. That's why I don't do it.

Oh, he did
the wrong thing.

I got the whole thing on video.

This is so going
on the Internet.

What do you say?
Can I put it on the Internet?

Oh, sure.
Sure you can.

I want everyone to know
how rude my customers are.

Don't smile.
I saw you laughing.

I stayed up all night
working on these.

Either one would
make a great mural.

Especially the one that
I'm sliding closer to you.

Which one do you think
I should go with?

Oh, honey.
It doesn't even matter.

What matters is that you're finally doing
something for someone other than yourself.

We just need to savor
this moment.

Excuse me.

I know, honey. I know.
It's a miracle.

- We're good parents.
- Yes!

Wow. Look at all those sketches.

You're really going
all out for this mural.

No, I'm not.

I just want to make it good,

because I have to look at
the stupid thing everyday.

Except this one's not stupid.
It's really awesome.

But I'm not excited about it.

Say whatever you want.

We all know how much
you care about this.

It does seem like you care.

I'm just sayin'.

The Alien Language League has
moved up a bracket in the debates.

It's exciting. So, I'm not going to be
here to oversee the progress on the mural.

Your vice president is on it.

Great. Text me progress reports
every five minutes.

Who's gonna destroy Peakskill High at
tomorrow's Alien Language League debates?

Tribeca Prep. We're gonna
gee n'or their bla-nee-kan.

I heard there's gonna be
an actual scout from NASA

in the audience.
Do you know what this means?

We're gonna have an audience!

So, it's called
New York: Above and Below.

Above will be the pretty,
happy New York

which makes me want to barf.

And below will be the gritty,
grimy New York filled with barf.

That's it.

Excellent.

My committee corral approves.

If I can I'd just like
to make one little suggestion.

Just a little cactus hair.

I'd like to see more cowboys
in the above ground city.

Cowboys? In my mural?

Our mural.

I think they would really represent
our country's great Manifest Destiny

and "westward, ho" mentality.

I think you're the only one who
knows what you're talking about.

So, I think I'm just gonna
go on my own for this.

Absolutely.
Go your own way.

It's your vision. And you know
what your vision should have?

Caricatures. I love it when
people's heads are too big

for their bodies.

And they always hold teeny
tiny tennis rackets.

OK. So, giant heads, teeny
tiny tennis rackets...

And how about a bunch of panda
bears riding on the subway?

And the Statue of Liberty
shredding an electric guitar.

And panda bears.

If anyone else has another idea

why not just write it down
and pass it in to Miss Russo.

No, stop writing.

Why do you all have scrap paper
immediately available?

You'll do a bang-up job,
Miss Russo.

Oh, nice.

Harper...

Times Square filled with pizzas?

And look, this one just says,
"A picture of my grandma."

Whose grandma? How I'm supposed
to know what she looks like?

Oh, you've met
my Nana Franny.

She does needle point,
fought in World w*r II.

I'll get you a picture.

All right, Max.
What's the big emergency?

All right. Well, I put that video of
you on the Internet and got tons of hits.

People loved it.

So, if you jump on the other
end of this board for me

I'll be launched up and land
safely on our terrace.

And I'll put that
on the Internet.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold it right there.

I got tons of hits?

Oh, yeah, you did.
So come on.

Jump on the other end,
and I'll become famous.

The only thing
that's gonna happen

is you'll be launched
two feet in the air,

and you might break your arm.

Dad, come on. Just jump.

Fine. Just to show you how this
is not gonna work, I'll do it.

Yes.

Ready?

- Yep.
- One, two, three.

I did it.

Hi, Mom.

Knock it off!

You've sure packed
a lot in here...

Pandas on the subway.

The Statue of Liberty
playing electric guitar.

And what's this?

Is that a cowboy
with a giant head

with a teeny tiny
tennis racket?

I know it's a mess, but it's
just what everybody else wanted.

Let me tell you something
very wise, all right, Alex?

When it comes to art, beauty
is in the eye of the beholder.

All right? It's impossible
to please everyone.

You're probably right.

Or maybe you're not.

No, I'm definitely right.

You can't please everyone.

OK. I was trying to
make a dramatic exit.

Oh! Oh, all right.

Well, do your thing.

OK. Thank you.

You're probably right.

Or maybe you're not.

Pretty good.

So it's called
The Eye of the Beholder spell.

It makes everybody see
what they want to see.

- I'll cast it on the wall...
- Hey, hey, hey.

As vice president
of the mural committee,

I can absolutely not
condone the use of...

Magic...

...as a means
to artistic expression.

- Are you done?
- Are you still gonna use magic?

- Yes.
- I'm done.

The weight of this mural
is too much to shoulder.

Watch me use
The Eye of the Beholder.

I'm gonna have
to inform Justin.

Oh, my gosh!

It's Nana Franny.

Oh, that's the most beautiful
mural I've ever seen.

Oh, thank you, Alex.
Thank you. Thank you.

What is all this commotion?

Oh, Miss Russo.

You've lassoed my soul.

The perfect melding
of past and present.

Time is relative.
History is cyclical.

The cowboy shall once again
rule the western plains.

Those cowboys look like
panda bears to me.

Well, buckaroo, with great art
the interpretations are endless.

Thank you, Mr. Laritate.

Miss Russo,
there was a time

when I thought you wouldn't
amount to much...

That time was yesterday.

But now look at you.

You must be very proud to be
an artist who pleases everyone.

You're a real people pleaser.

People pleaser? Me?

No, no, no.
I'm Alex Russo. I don't...

I know.

But look at how happy
everyone is.

So if everybody else is happy,

then that means I should be
happy too, right?

That's how happiness works.

Oh, I get it!

Knock it off!

That's um...

That's some pretty
crazy stuff, huh?

Yeah. Everybody's watching this.
It's going viral.

What are you gonna do next?

Next?

I just launched myself onto
a two story terrace.

That's cool.

But you need to plus it, dude.
That's already been done.

- By who?
- You.

That's right.

I do need to plus it.

Knock it off!

Hey, Harper, guess what?

Peakskill High
didn't stand a chance.

What can I say?
They didn't have a certain...

...Justin Russo.
Thank you very much.

Yeah, and next up...
Sachem High.

And they better bring it or they're
going home, crying to their mommies

on their little bikes
made up like starships.

- Ooh!
- I wish we'd thought of that.

Oh, my gosh.

The mural.

There's beakers,
test tubes and the...

...the Action News weather lady

giving an incredibly
accurate forecast.

Wow! Robot president.

This is awesome!

Wait a second.

I see test tubes. Zeke sees
robot president. And you see...

Nana Franny.

- Oops.
- Harper?

What's going on? Did Alex use
The Eye of the Beholder spell?

I don't know the name
of the spell she used.

But if I was gonna name it,
I would probably name it that.

You knew about her using magic?
Why didn't you text me?

I just love seeing
Nana Franny so much.

If you want my resignation
just say it.

I want your resignation.

La, la, la!
I can't hear you!

Give me your...
Harper! Harper!

Alex, I trusted you
to paint that mural

and you just used magic
and blew it off?

No, I had a great concept
and I was so excited about it.

But everybody kept yelling
their ideas at me

like I was some sort
of paint monkey.

Alex, it's a committee.
It's what committees do.

And now that you mention it
everything down here

looks like it was painted
by monkeys.

Using magic on the school wall
was completely reckless, Alex.

Yeah, well, I'm the
one who's suffering.

Mr. Laritate said I was
an artist who pleases everyone.

And that's when I realized
I please everyone but myself.

And you know what that is?
That's a sell out.

- I'm a sell out.
- A sell out?

- Who's a sell out?
- Me.

I'm worse than that rapper who
did that washing machine ad.

Wiki-wiki-wiki-wash...
Ridiculous.

This is the mural I wanted to
paint for my school, but I didn't.

So, why do you feel so bad?

At least you painted what you
wanted. It's just down here.

Look, let me tell you
about an artist I know

who makes a living drawing
cheesy greeting cards.

Let's say his name is um...

...me.

Am I a sell out?

Of course.

You draw greeting cards?

Yeah, but the artistic
ones, right?

Yeah, sure, if you think
a thermometer that says,

"Get well soon," is artistic.

That's you?

The thermometer
clearly has a fever.

I mean, a thermometer with
a thermometer in his mouth.

That's... That's genius.

- That's good.
- Yeah.

When I draw that stuff, it
tortures me deep inside my soul.

And it hurts.

But I use that pain
to create all this.

Down here.

It's perfect.

You're right, Line.
Thank you.

I am now officially
a tunnel person.

Yeah!

Tunnel people!

So, you're just gonna
do your art down here?

Yes.

And if you would just leave,
I would get a chance to do it.

So you don't want your art to be
seen by anyone? I don't get that.

That's because you're
not an artist.

You're right.

I could never paint a
question mark on a wall.

Hey, Line.
He called you a monkey.

That was before I knew about
that thermometer thing.

All right.

From down below,
this art should show.

Oh, my gosh.
It's my mural.

Alex, what did you do?

Well, defacing school property is something
I would do and have done many, many times.

But I can't take
credit for this one.

This has nothing
to do with panda bears.

I hate it and I'm
telling Mr. Laritate.

Justin, I don't know how this
got here. I didn't move it.

That must make you mad.

No. Actually,
it kind of feels good

to have everyone see
my original idea.

Even though
they all hate it?

That's OK.
At least they saw it.

And even though they hate it,
it made them feel something.

Well, then it looks like
I did it again. Boo yah.

Justin, now is not the time for
your Alien Language League junk.

No, no, no. I'm the one
who moved your mural.

And did you see how I was
playing it like it wasn't me?

I was like, "You must be mad,"
and "What if they take it down?"

And you were like: "Now I know why I'm
an artist, because they all hate it."

When really it was me
the whole time.

I was acting.

I can't believe you did
all that for me.

Well, you're the artist
and you're my sister,

and I think your work
deserves to be seen.

Thank you.

Don't get the wrong idea.
I hate the mural.

The message is heavy handed.
The theme's been done before.

And your trees look like
big, green lollipops.

Yeah, I gotta
work on my foliage.

Miss Russo, this is not
what we discussed.

What happened to that
handsome cowboy?

You asked me to paint
the mural, and I did.

And I'm not going
to change it one bit.

President of the mural committee,
how could you let this happen?

I left my vice president
in charge when I was gone.

That's right.

He did.

And I will go find her.

No, no, no.
It's not their fault.

Mr. Laritate, I'm sorry,
but from now on,

I'm gonna paint
what I want to paint.

Artists are so temperamental.

All right,
so what I'm gonna do

is jump this unicycle,
right here...

...over all of these
garbage cans, wearing...

...this bubble wrap.

Do you think you could run up and
jump those trash cans on your own?

No way, dude.

That's why I got
the unicycle.

A unicycle can't go any
faster than you can run.

- I beg to differ.
- Based on what?

It has a wheel.

Do you even know how
to ride a unicycle?

No, but I can ride a bicycle.

And this is one wheel less than
that, so it's gotta be easier.

I feel I've asked enough questions to not
be responsible for what is about to happen.

- Where's the record button?
- Right there.

On the back.

There's no turning back now.

OK. It's go time.

He did the wrong thing.

That really hurt.

Max, what are you doing?

Giving the people
what they want.

I'm an Internet sensation.

Well, knock it off!

It's her.

It's the "knock it off" lady.

Why they calling me the
"knock it off lady?" What?

We love how you
always say:

"Knock it off.
Knock it off."

And we love it when
you pretend to be mean.

Oh, well, I'm not pretending,
but thank you.

We're from the "knock it off"
lady fan club.

Knock it off!

Wait a minute. I'm the one
who started this whole thing.

Watch!

No, no, no.

I'm the one who started
this whole thing.

I do all the stuff she
says "knock it off" to.

Knock it off!

Knock it off! Knock it off!