02x24 - Wizard for a Day

[bunniefuu]

Oh, no. Please tell me that's
not a new robot you're building.

Uh, no, it's a pencil holder
I made Dad for his birthday.

This is the new robot I'm building.

A pencil holder?
It looks like an old soup can.

That's because it
was an old soup can.

Now it's a heartfelt
gift I've made for Dad

by removing the label and writing
a clever slogan on the side.

"Number one Dad,
number two pencil."

- [laughs]
- Are you kidding me?

Well, I also charmed it to
magically sharpen pencils.

[whirring]

Yes, because it's
so hard to do this.

I didn't get him anything.
Put my name on it.

Oh, no, you're not sharing
credit for my gift this year.

Fine, if that's the
way you want it.

ion.

I'm not scared of you, Alex.

Stop staring at me.

Max, you're not gonna
wrap that cat up

and give it to Dad for his
birthday again, are you?

He loves getting
this cat every year.

[chuckles] He thinks
he has a collection.

Hello, number eight.

Max, it's time you started
learning from your big bro.

So I'm gonna let you jump on board

with my thoughtful and unique gift.

Wait, you'll let him put his
name on your gift but not mine?

Fine. Max,
before you agree to that,

I'm gonna let you in on my gift.

- What's your gift?
- I don't know yet.

But you can be sure it's not
gonna look like something

you could find in a
kindergarten classroom.

Let's see: cat, soup can, nothing.

I'm gonna stick with the cat.

Hey, look who it is.
It's the birthday guy.

The guy whose birthday it is.

Obviously, I'm not ignoring it,
because I keep saying it.

Birthday, birthday, birthday.

Oh. Look, Theresa. The kids
are talking about my birthday.

OK, honey, I get it.

I forgot to say "happy birthday"

right when you woke
up this morning.

Uh, Daddy, Justin and I
got you a gift together.

Play along, or your robot gets it.

I got ten of them.

Dad, here's a gift from me.

It's a homemade,
magic pencil holder.

Oh! It's perfect. It combines
two of my greatest loves:

Canned foods and things
that hold other things.

Perfect? [laughs] I'm so
glad that you like it.

Um, that's from me too, Dad.

He seems to like it, so I'm in.

♪ Well, you know everything's
gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ That the end will no
doubt justify the means ♪

♪ You can fix any problem
with the slightest of ease ♪

♪ Yes, please ♪

♪ But you might find out
it'll go to your head ♪

♪ When you write a report
on a book you never read ♪

♪ With the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed ♪

♪ That's what I said ♪

♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ When you can get all you
wanted in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪

♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪

♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ When you can have what you
want by the simplest of means ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything is not ♪

♪ What it seems ♪

- What are you doing?
- You'll be interested to know

that I've found the
perfect present for Dad.

[gasps] She's gonna turn
her lips into a zipper?

Ooh! That's a good sh*t.

How long have you been
working on that one?

Since the day Mom
came home and said,

"Look, there's your
little sister, Justin."

Well, I'm giving Dad the gift of
magic powers for his birthday.

What are you talking about?
Our powers are limited.

We can't give magical
powers to a mortal.

Ah! That's where you're wrong,
"Johnny Can't Skip."

Skipping is an
unnatural body motion.

There's a moment when both
feet are off the ground.

It's way too unpredictable.
[scoffs]

Look, I've done a lot of research

and there's this thing
called Merlin's Hat.

It gives whoever wears it
unlimited magical wishes

for a whole day.

- You actually researched that?
- Sort of.

It was on the first page I
opened up to in this book.

Well, you have to perform a deed of
incredible selflessness and bravery

in the wizard world
to get Merlin's Hat.

We all know that's
not gonna happen.

- Oh, really? Hold this.
- Really. No. OK.

[coughing]

- Alex, are you OK?
- [coughs]

- I think so.
- What happened?

Nothing much.

- Really?
- Yeah,

if you call saving an
entire wizard rec center

from a dragon att*ck
"nothing much"!

Check it out. Merlin's Hat.

By the way, we're having
dragon heart for dinner.

And so, to prove there
are more than only

two good children in this family,

I'd like to present my father
with a birthday present.

It's probably earrings or
something else she wanted.

Alex, is this what I think it is?

- Is this Merlin's Hat?
- Yes, and when you put it on,

you have unlimited magical
wishes for a whole day.

Awesome. - That's from me too,
Dad. [chuckles]

- What about our pencil holder?
- Unlimited wishes, pencil holder.

Come on, I'm not an idiot.

- This is amazing, Alex.
- [clears throat]

And Max. You've given
me powers again.

Yes, she's pulled magic
into the real world

for selfish reasons.

What could possibly go wrong?

Come on, Dad. Get up and say,
"Goonga galoonga," and make a wish.

You don't really have to say,
"Goonga galoonga." It's just funny.

All right. I'm a little rusty,
but here goes...

Goonga galoonga. [laughs]

Look at that!

- Pencils?
- Yeah.

To put in my new
favorite pencil holder.

- Pencils?
- I'm back on Justin's gift.

- Pencils?
- Hey, look at that!

They're already sharp!
Thank you, Justin.

Uh, doesn't anybody hear me repeating
the word "pencils" over here?

I don't know if you noticed,
but Dad just used your gift

to make my gift better.

- I noticed.
- I know.

Dad, you realize you can
do anything you want

with that hat, right? Literally.

Anything at all,
in the whole world.

You want me to try it again, huh?

All right, uh... Mmm... There's...

Ooh, I got it.

Goonga galoonga.

Yes! Huh? [laughs]

- A milkshake?
- Not just any milkshake.

This is a Milky Way Milkshake
from The Asteroid Belt.

That was his favorite restaurant when
he was a kid in the neighborhood.

He reminds me of it every
time he has a milkshake.

So pretty much every day.

The place doesn't exist anymore.

It had this cool ' s sci-fi theme.

Mm. Boy, I forgot how
exciting it is to have powers!

Dad, you're wrecking
the word "exciting."

Face it, Alex. Your gift
just isn't as impressive

as you thought it would be.

I don't know about that.
I'd say this milkshake

is the next best thing to having

the actual Asteroid
Belt open again.

Open again. Interesting.

Goonga galoonga.
That is fun to say.

Guys, come down here
and see how great I am!

Oh, my gosh! Alex,
what have you done?

I just wanted to show Dad
how to use the hat right.

It looks just like
The Asteroid Belt,

with the rocket ships and...

The chair's the same!

Honey, look! The original
Milky Way Milkshake machine.

I love this so much!

Really? You love it?

Did you hear that?
He loves it so much.

- This is incredible, Alex.
- Yeah, it's, uh, also from me too, Dad.

This was a great trip
down memory lane.

And I will never forget it.

Now you should tn it
back into the sub shop.

- Turn it back? But you just got it.
- No, I know. It was fun.

But, you know,
you should turn it back.

You heard him, Alex. Turn it back.

Excuse me.

This looks like a place I used
to go to when I was a kid.

- I'm sorry, we're closed.
- Oh!

I'd pay anything for one
of those milkshakes.

Anything?

Ten dollars.

We'll take three.

Maybe we should keep it
like this for a while.

- You should have said .
- Ooh! Welcome.

[lauaughs] This place is a hit.

I've never seen it
this crowded before.

We are raking it in.

[sighs] See how ppy Dad is?

My gift is so good,
I don't even want you on it, Max.

You're off of it. - What'd I
do to get kicked off the gift?

Restaurants themes like
this are just a fad.

They never last. Believe me.

Mr. Russo, we're with the Waverly
Place Merchants' Association

and we've come to present
you with an award

for having a fantastic fad

that's not going
anywhere anytime soon.

We hereby declare you King
of the New York Milkshake

for your delicious
Milky Way Milkshake.

King of the New York Milkshake?
Are you serious?

Perhaps this
official-looking certificate

- will answer that question.
- Oh! Thank you.

Theresa, check it out.

I guess it's no surprise when
you marry Prince Charming,

he grows up to be a king.

You know, that pbably should've
seemed arrogant to me,

but I find your newfound
confidence very appealing.

Alex, your gift just keeps
getting better and better.

I'm glad you think so, Dad.

But could you say that a little
louder so Justin can hear you?

- I'm standing right here.
- I know.

I just wanted to hear
him say it louder.

Thank you all for including
me in your family meeting.

It's better than how
we do it at my house:

from separate rooms
on walkie-talkies.

Now... as you all know,

we're no longer that
crummy train restaurant.

We are now an amazing
spaceship restaurant.

Yes, amazing. Put that in your
family meeting notes, Justin.

A-M-A-Zing. On you.

The bear, me, you: bear trap.

OK, everybody,
let's listen to your father.

He's taking charge,
for once in his life,

and I, for one,
can't get enough of it.

Now, with our new popularity,

it's gonna take more people
per shift to cover the demand.

- Oh!
- Whoa.

I thought this restaurant
represented the future.

Shouldn't there be less
work in the future?

Oh!

- Harper, you're hired.
- Yes!

Oh, I hope I didn't
sound too desperate.

My mom says that's how people
get taken advantage of.

[laughs] Oh, Harper,
no one's taking advantage of you.

You've got the first four shifts.

And you guys have all the rest.

Thanks a lot, Alex.

Now I don't want to hear
any complaints because

I also got us great new uniforms.

This can't be good.

You're all waiter-nauts.

They're not the most
comfortable outfits,

but you'll get used to the
limited range of motion.

Harper, I don't know how
much more of this I can take.

What are you talking about?

This is more breathable
than most things I wear.

- [ringing]
- Oh! Oh!

It's time for our
hourly rocket launch

here at The Waverly Asteroid Belt.

Where the deals are
out of this world!

Dad, you're selling food,
not electronics.

- For now.
- Ready!

Five, four, three, two, one!

- [rumbling]
- [all] Whoa!

Salute!

- You didn't salute.
- I didn't do a lot of things.

Justin, you win.
This was a bad idea.

You have to help me
get rid of this place.

I'm sorry you feel that way, Alex.

But, uh, I'd also like
to point out this:

What is wrong with you?

That's right.
I learned how to skip.

This outfit has gotten
me a lot of attention

from a very interesting,
fringe group of women. Hi.

And the Alien Language League finally
has a suitable place to meet.

What's up, Zeke?
[speaking alien language]

- Oh, my gosh, really? Show me.
- Mm-hm.

- [speaks alien language]
- Thanks.

I call it power hoppin'.
[speaks alien language]

Oh, my gosh.
I have to make this stop.

What's going on? - I made a really bad
decision with this present for my dad.

Having a popular restaurant
is way too much work.

I'd rather have a place
that's barely scraping by,

like our old Sub Station.

I'm just gonna put this hat on
and wish for it all to go away.

Goonga ga...

Look at how happy he is.

I can't take this away from him.

Oh, Tin Man. You do have a heart.

Yes, but only until I get tired
of lording this over Justin.

Oh, who are we kidding?
I'll never get tired of that.

- [crashing, sputtering]
- What was that?

Let's split up and
see what's going on!

I'll go outside!

I'm gonna go check
under your bed. Bye!

[rumbling]

Do you guys believe it?

Aliens have landed
on Waverly Place.

Who's gonna tell them
they can't park there?

They're gonna get towed.

I've been waiting my entire
life for this moment!

- [zooming]
- [crowd screams]

I got this. [clears throat]

[speaking alien language]

I have no idea what you
are talking about, kid.

I just welcomed you to this planet

and offered you my
eternal brotherhood.

Sounded like a lot of gibberish,
if you ask me.

[gasping] That's 'cause
you're from the wrong planet.

Listen up, earthlings.
We have come to your street

because we heard that the Milky Way
Milkshake has been brought back.

We have always believed
that the Milky Way Milkshake

is the tastiest milkshake
in the entire universe.

And now that the machine is
back up and running, we want it.

And we intend to get it.

[crowd screaming]

Thanks to your magic gift,
real aliens have come here.

What are we supposed to do now?

Lie our butts off.

You know I'm not really comfortable...
Oh, right, I got it.

[clears throat]

Uh, fellow citizens of New York
City and the outlying boroughs,

don't panic. This is just an
elaborate promotional stunt,

yes, a promotional stunt,
for the new restaurant here.

That's right.

Because if these were real aliens,

they would probably look
much more expensive.

- What's that?
- Yeah...

- Wizards dressed as aliens?
- Real aliens.

[both] Oh, boy.

Who are you?

He's King of the
New York Milkshake.

- No...
- Regular...

Thanks a lot!

Hand over the milkshake machine.

- Here's the milkshake machine.
- [gasps] Jerry!

All right, fine.
Everybody, run for your lives!

- [blasting]
- [ricocheting]

Justin, I hate to tell you this,

but this was a poorly
conceived promotional stunt.

That's coming from a
guy who is susceptible

to commercial ad campaigns.

- [grunts]
- [shattering]

[grunting]

Jerry, help us!

Uh...

Ah! Not the milkshake machine!

- Please!
- I knew it.

[yelps]

Max, you always play
those alien video games.

- Try to reason with them.
- I'm not really that good.

You only let me play an hour a day.

That's because you
have a C-minus in math.

Are we really having this
conversation right now?

C-minus? How are you
doing better than me?

[screaming]

Are you happy now? You just had to get
a better gift than me, didn't you?

Can you just forget about
that for one second?

They're closing in on Dad.
What should we do?

[Jerry] Alex! Give me Merlin's Hat!

Goonga galoonga.

Did it work? Am I alone
on the big island?

[Theresa] Ha! I knew it!

What is wrong with this thing?

You only get one
day to make wishes,

that was yesterday.
The hat's powerless.

Uh-oh.

Dad, I'm sorry. I guess if we've
learned one thing here today,

it's that I should stop
trying to be nice to people.

Hey, what happened?
Where did the milkshake machine go?

Justin! You did it!

Luckily, one of those
aliens dropped this thing

and I was able to quickly
figure out how to operate

their advanced technology.
It's a switch.

Well, this is just great.

Come on, guys,
we've got a long trip back.

How did you know that
sh**ting Merlin's Hat

would reverse all of Dad's wishes?

I didn't.

I was just really
sick of that present.

And how did you know you
wouldn't hit me with a laser?

Well, Dad, that was a risk
I was willing to take.

And Dad, why did you
try to trade me?

Son, there is no doubt in my mind

they would have brought
you back in a day.

[mouths]

- Oh!
- Uh!

Why are we all hugging?

Because that's what
normal families do.

[spaceship launching off]

Dad, I'm sorry about
wrecking your birthday.

I just wanted you to have
a good birthday gift.

I know you did, honey.
And I appreciate it.

I just want you guys to know that
everything isn't about big birthday gifts.

Sometimes, it's the simple,
little gifts that are the best ones.

That goes for magic too.

It's not always about
slaying dragons

or bringing a restaurant
back from the past.

Sometimes, a soup can
that's charmed to do this...

- [whirring]
- ...is all you need.

I even missed the little cat
that Max gives me every year.