02x07 - Escape from New York

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Resident Alien"...

Open up. It's me.

When we went to that
charity thing in New York,

they said that the
money was for the clinic.

Okay, you need to calm down.

Calm down? I can't calm down.

They're threatening our families.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

- Um...
- Sorry.

- It's okay. I gotta go.
- Right. Got it.

- [DEVICE BEEPING]
- It's receiving a signal.

What does it say?

It's a phone number.

Pack your bags. We're going to New York.

Too many people.

The last island that had
this many humans on it

was Atlantis, and that
did not turn out well.

Hey, I would like two
slices of pepperoni.

Anything else?

Does an alien live here?

This is the number you got.

Something has to be here.

It says "Goliath."

I am marking every one

of Goliath's murals in the city.

That is where we will find Goliath.

What can I get you?

What do you got?

Someone here must be Goliath.

Does anyone look alien to you?

Everything you need to know
about Goliath is on the canvas.

Goliath believes acid helps
you shed your human chains.

I would like to shed my human chains.

[GROWLS]

[SHRIEKS]

[YELPS]

How long have you
known Harry's an alien?

This is some bullshit.

[HUMMING]

[HORSE CHUFFING]

- [HORSE NICKERS]
- [SPEAKING PORTUGUESE]

- [HORSE CHUFFS]
- [HOOVES CLOPPING]

[SPEAKING PORTUGUESE]

[SHOUTING IN PORTUGUESE]

[SPEAKING PORTUGUESE]

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[SPEAKING PORTUGUESE]

[GASPS]

[CREATURE GROWLS]

[SPEAKING PORTUGUESE]

[GRUNTS]

[BROWN BIRD'S "BILGEWATER"]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

When I first came to Earth,

I thought I would be
watching the death...

The colors are exploding everywhere!

Watching the death

of all these humans from my ship

after I dropped my device.

Things have changed.

[HISSES]

What makes you think Harry's an alien?

Come with me.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[R&B MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[PANEL BEEPING]

You're nervous. I understand.
But don't be.

I know who Harry is, and
I know why you're here.

How? How do you know that?

I recognize his energy.

Goliath grew to love it here,
but it was never natural.

He lived with a lot of inner turmoil.

You can see it in his art.

Wait, you said "lived"?

What... please tell me
that Goliath is here.

Goliath is here.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Okay. [EXHALES HEAVILY]

[GASPS]

What is this?

This is Goliath.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

I don't understand.

After Goliath came to Earth,

we became each other's whole world.

But his great wish

was to connect with
one of his people again.

The signal that brought you
here was a personal invitation.

Goliath held out for
as long as he could.

But six months ago, he...

Well, you can see for yourself.

Their species fossilize when they die.

No, this can't be.

Goliath cannot be dead.

We came all this way,

and you don't understand
what's at stake!

I'm sorry. This is all there is.

[EXHALES HEAVILY]

If you came here to speak with Goliath,

that's not going to happen.

[PHONE RINGING]

Oh, God.

Oh, my God. What happened?

You are alien.

Well, I took some LSD on my tongue.

And now I'm surrounded
by horrible creatures.

[GASPS]

I just saw an alien

take off its head,

and there was a human inside!

Do I have a human inside of me?

How many licks does it take

to get to the human?

[WHIMPERS]

New York City Public Library.

Okay, I know where you
are. Don't go anywhere.

I will be right there.

[WHIMPERS]

[SCREAMS]

Feeling better?

Yes.

The ice is stabilizing my human form.

I saw so many humans today.

Humans are gross.

But... they have each other.

- Like those two...
- Harry.

[SIGHS]

This is their home.

I want to meet someone like me

so maybe...

I can feel like I am home.

Yeah, about that.

I spoke to Violinda at the party.

She knows Goliath.

Or did know him.

He's dead, Harry.

Goliath was dead as soon as
he became more human than me.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Hmm.

[SOFT MUSIC]

[SOFT CLATTERING]

[DOOR CLICKS OPEN]

- Hey.
- Hi.

- You're home early.
- Yeah.

Ah. How are you? How was your mom?

Well, turns out, by "quality time,"

she meant - tech support.

- Mm.
- So...

- What have you been up to?
- Nothin'.

Yeah, doin' nothin'.

Just alone. Alone vibes.

You know, vibin' it.

- Nice.
- Mm-hmm.

Okay. Let me take this upstairs.

Nope! Ah, wouldn't hear of it.

I'll take this up later.

Okay. Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

Oh, would you grab Max's
bag? He went to Sahar's.

Yeah.

[SIGHS]

Huh.

That's weird.

Yeah, weird. How did...
how did that happen?

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

Oh, wow.

You put that up.

Wasn't it in the closet?

- You hate it.
- No, I don't.

A lot of people have
that in their homes.

Okay, I'll take it down.

No. If you wanna keep it
up, you should keep it up.

- Do you want me to keep it up?
- I want what you want.

I want what you want.
You know, if you want.

Did you move the coffee table?

Yeah, I'll just take it down.

Morning.

Hey, Liv.

Oh, I was thinking of
starting a donation jar

for the coffeepots.

You know, you shouldn't have
to pay for those yourself.

Thank you.

I really appreciate that.

Why... why are you
putting that sign in here?

Well, I thought you might like it.

You know, bring just a
real artistic statement

into the office.

What do you... What do you think?

Do I have to say I like it
for you to do the donation jar?

I... love it.

Great! It stays up.

- I'll... I'll get a jar.
- Okay.

Hey, can I show you
something real quick?

Yeah, you bet.

I think I'm going to post this video.

"Incredible UFO in Patience."

No, you can't post that.

You know, people already think Patience

is a m*rder town.

You want them to think
it's an alien town too?

But if this is real,

don't I owe it to
the world to share this?

Yeah, as long as you change the headline

to "Incredible UFO Near Jessup."

- Backspace.
- Hey.

Oh.

Jab me in the arm.

Seems like a lawsuit.

Oh, is it?

Oh, look at this.

Am I jabbing myself? Am I jabbing
myself? I can't feel anything.

You know why? 'Cause I cut myself

this morning on the
fence and needed stitches,

and Dr. Smallwood put my
whole damn arm to sleep.

How am I supposed to work with
a dead tree-trunk arm, huh?

Oh, let me see. Let's see how.

Let me just grab a pen.

Oh, look at that.

Deputy, looks like
you gonna have to write

my police reports today.

I already do that, sir.

Well, good.

Then we're prepared.

Look, I'm sure that
it's a simple mistake.

I mean, Dr. Smallwood is an institution.

She literally delivered me as a baby.

Didn't she literally
deliver your parents too?

Yeah, I don't think that's relevant.

Look, you need to fire her ass

before a bunch of elves

move into my tree-trunk arm here

and start making cookies.

One mistake should not
ruin a woman's life.

It's more than one mistake!

I saw her for a sore throat,

and she diagnosed me with hysteria.

I think that you're both
blowing this out of proportion.

You know, I'm getting the results today

for my yearly checkup,

and I am sure that she
will be as spry as ever.

You know, last time I saw
her, she did a cartwheel.

No, she didn't.

But I bet she could.

Seen enough?

I really don't wanna miss the flight.

I wanted to see this one
Goliath mural before we left.

I did not think I would
miss my octopus friend,

because I thought I was
meeting alien family.

But now they're both dead.

I feel very alone.

I'm sorry you didn't get
to see family on this trip.

No Goliath...

no idea how we're gonna save the world.

- What are we gonna do now?
- I do not know.

Goliath was our last chance

to contact my planet

and my last chance to meet
one of my people on Earth.

Now I will die without
having a conversation

in my beautiful language.

I will be forced to talk to myself.

[SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE]

I'd tell you to keep it
down, but we're in New York.

Weird is normal here, so...

[SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE]

Do you think Goliath had
an octopus friend too?

Maybe.

I don't know how his
mind worked, though.

Maybe this painting is just random.

It is not random.

Everything my people do has purpose.

Okay, well, it's really confusing,

'cause it feels like he
brought us here for no reason.

Not confusing. Impossible.

Goliath knew of me,

knew that I was stranded.

However human he had become,

he would never have brought
me here without a reason.

Are you sure Goliath did
not leave anything for me?

Violinda didn't mention anything.

Do you think she is hiding something?

I don't know.

I mean, she seemed like
she was genuinely grieving.

She was really sad when
she showed me his body.

You saw Goliath's dead body?

Yeah.

You could've told me that your people

turned to stone when they d*ed

or that they die standing
up, for that matter.

He was standing up?

Goliath was standing?

Yes, his dead body was.

- [YELPING EXCITEDLY]
- What?

I have... we have to go.

Harry!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[L 'S "PRETEND WE'RE DEAD"]

♪ Come on, come on, come on, come on ♪

♪ Come on, come on, come on, come on ♪

♪ Come on, come on, come on, come on ♪

♪ Come on, come on, come on, come on ♪

♪ When we pretend that we're dead ♪

♪ Pretend we're dead ♪

♪ When we pretend that we're dead ♪

♪ Pretend we're dead ♪

♪ They can't hear a word we've said ♪

♪ Pretend we're dead ♪

♪ When we pretend that we're dead ♪

♪ Come on, come on, come on, come on ♪

♪ Dead ♪

♪ Pretend we're dead ♪

♪ Dead ♪

♪ Come on, come on, come on, come on ♪

♪ Dead ♪

♪ Pretend we're dead ♪

♪ Dead ♪

♪ Come on, come on, come on, come on ♪

♪ We're dead ♪

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

She m*rder*d her husband,

and now she's profiting from his stuff.

This here is a m*rder sale.

That's what you called us out here for?

- Uh-huh.
- Look.

Mrs. Hodges is currently awaiting trial

on the crime that she is accused of.

She has every legal
right to have a yard sale,

which is more than I can
say about you and that shirt.

Now, why don't you take your ass home

before a flock of flamingos
come lookin' for they daddy?

Thank you, Sheriff.

I'm just an impartial
administrator of the law.

Well, I'm probably gonna
box all this up anyway.

Apparently, nobody wants to buy
antique spoons from a m*rder*r,

so I'll probably just
take it all to Goodwill.

Hold on a minute.

Look at this. Hey, Deputy.

Look at this.

Who do I look like?

A hipster poet?

No. d*ck Tracy, damn it.

Greatest detective in history.

Invented the watch phone.

Never saw a dime of the profits, though.

Because he was a cartoon character?

How much you want for this?

I don't know. bucks?

- Sold.
- It's a good deal.

It was Sam's. He only wore it once.

We were flying to Montana,

and he left his old hat on the plane,

so he got that one at the airport.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

He looked really cute in it.

Listen, Sheriff, I'm sorry.

I've changed my mind. I can't sell it.

Okay. It's no problem.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Let's see what else we got around here.

[CHUCKLES] I remember these.

Sam loved these mystery novels.

Always trying to get me to read one.

Told me it would help me solve crimes.

[CHUCKLES]

All right, tell you
what. I'll give you...

bucks for the whole lot of them.

Oh, no, no. Sheriff, that's too much.

Listen, if Sam wanted you to have them,

then you don't pay.

Just consider it a gift from Sam to you.

Thank you, Mrs. Hodges.
That's very kind.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

Yeah, all right.

- Deputy?
- Mm. Mm-hmm.

She seem like a woman who
k*lled her husband to you?

No, sir, she doesn't.

No, that's grief right
there. Plain and simple.

I mean, a woman who kills her husband

don't hang on to no old
hat just to remember him by.

And Bloom goes down.

D'arcy, you had a bad fall.

They said I could've lost my leg

or even d*ed.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

[BUTTONS BEEPING]

- Oh, you're going that way?
- [LAUGHS]

That's weird.

Hey.

I didn't know you worked out here.

Yeah, I... I took a recovery day.

For about years.

[LAUGHS] Glad to have you back.

[BUTTONS BEEPING]

Oh, you're at a six?

That's cute. I'm at a seven.

You need glasses.

That's an eight.

[BUTTONS BEEPING]

Sure you can handle that?

Aren't you a little out of practice?

I have an advantage.

Stopped being able to feel
my legs after I did squats.

[BLUES SARACENO'S "EVIL WAYS"]

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Hey ♪

- ♪ My evil ways ♪
- One more.

You got it.

[GRUNTS]

That is gonna hurt tomorrow.

Yeah, but it's a good hurt.

My coach always says
it's gotta hurt to work.

- College?
- Yeah.

I ran the , and , at CU.

Got second in the NCAA
finals my senior year.

Legit.

Hoo.

Oh, you okay?

Yeah, yeah. Think I overdid it.

- Just need some water.
- Yeah, I get it.

I almost blew chunks
all over poor Mr. Gibbons

on the elliptical.

All right, I'm done.

Let's head over to The .

Got some protein shakes.

- You do?
- Yeah.

Well, beers.

It's got half a gram of protein in it.

I mean, it's better than that
garbage you're drinking anyway.

What is that?

- It's water.
- Ugh.

[WHISPERING] Water.

[BANGING ON DOOR]

I need to see Goliath.

Please stop.

I told you he passed on.

I wish you would respect my privacy.

I tried. But I can't stop him.

Where is Goliath?

You need to leave.

Harry, we have to leave.

She wants us to go.

Asta.

This way.

No. No, you can't be here!

[TENSE MUSIC]

[GASPS]

[GASPS]

No! No!

[GRUNTS]

What the hell is that?

[SIGHS]

It's our baby.

You need to leave.

I'm not letting you take my child.

I could just rip your arms off.

Stop it. What do you
mean, that's your baby?

Goliath used my genetic
tissue to get pregnant.

Goliath contacted me. This is why.

Hello? Anyone here?

I'll take care of it.

Sorry, the door was open.

Are you Violinda Darvell?

Yes.

We're not open quite yet.

You'll have to leave.

I'm a little desperate.

I'm interested in buying some art,

and I was told you
might be able to help.

An artist named Goliath?

Unfortunately, I'm busy right now.

Are you sure you can't
spare a few minutes?

You're a freakin' Picasso!

Did you draw this picture?

Yeah, I draw police
composites of criminals.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Oh, sh*t.

Here you go. On the house.

Oh, thank you. That's very generous.

[CHUCKLES]

Mm.

This tastes like soap.

Oh, yeah. Sorry.

It's a local brewery,

which means it's just a guy
that makes beer in his bathtub.

I'll get you a different kind...

No, no. That's not it.

Oh, no.

What?

The last time that this happened,

I was in my first trimester with Max.

Plus the dizziness at the gym...

You think you're pregnant?

I think so.

I mean, congratulations.

We gotta get some champagne.

I can't drink if I'm pregnant.

I know.

[SIGHS]

What's wrong?

I just don't know how I feel
about having another kid.

Oh, right.

- 'Cause of Max.
- What do you mean?

I didn't... what do you
mean? What do you mean?

Having another kid means my entire life

gets put on hold for the next years.

I have to reset the clock.

Of course, Ben would be thrilled.

[LAUGHS]

I mean, he would.

Are you sure he would?

Why? Did he say something to you?

Why would he say anything to me?

It's not like we sit
around having conversations

about you guys having kids, right?

Yeah.

Maybe he changed his mind.

You know, I change my mind all the time.

Like, earlier, I was sure I
was gonna have only one beer,

and now I'm thinking I might have six.

Trust me.

I know my husband.

He wants more kids.

He'd start a family band if he could.

Yeah, that's... he's...

You know, you know your husband.

Ah, right on time, as always. Punctual.

- You're a great doctor.
- Thank you.

Unfortunately, I have
some bad news for you.

What's that?

Your blood tests indicate
cancer in your colon.

It's very aggressive.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Ah.

That's Mrs. Patel's chart.

- Whoops.
- This is Ben Hawthorne's.

Wait.

So I don't have cancer?

No.

Low in vitamin D.

Get some sun.

Have a good day.

Don't tell Mrs. Patel if you see her.

Yikes.

Sorry, hang on.

Dr. Smallwood, you basically
just told me that I was dying.

I had the wrong chart.

- It happens.
- Should it?

No.

Could you give us some privacy?

Also no.

[SIGHS] Okay, well...

Dr. Smallwood, I am
sorry to have to do this.

I mean, you will always be
a pillar of this community.

But I am going to have to...

Ask you if you have ever considered

taking an extended vacation.

You know, maybe buy
a van? See the world?

- He's trying to fire you.
- Mm.

You're not the doctor you used to be,

and if you keep working here,

you might k*ll someone.

Is this true?

It's not not true.

You're a sweet boy for not
wanting to tell me that.

You're not sweet at all.

It even looked like you enjoyed it.

I didn't not enjoy it.

[SIGHS]

And now we officially have no doctor.

I pulled out our hiring
files when I realized

Smallwood was about to
tell you you were dying.

Seems like you had time
to stop her, but okay.

Dr. Vanderspeigle is
our only real candidate.

Good doctor but not much to look at.

He's a Patience six,
which is a Denver four,

which is a California one.

Not sure if any of that's legal to say.

He has a birthday coming up.

You know, maybe I could convince him.

Sneaky. Buy him a present.

Soften him up.

You've just moved up
to a Patience three.

Thanks.

Goliath pieces are very rare.

You could try the curator
at the Guggenheim.

I certainly can't help you.

[WHISPERING] I could just k*ll her.

[WHISPERING] No. No more k*lling.

Just a minute. She'll leave.

Hmm.

What about this piece?

This is a Goliath.

It's part of my personal collection.

- It's not for sale.
- Hmm.

Seems like it means a lot to you.

Did you know him?

I don't think that's
any of your business.

You need to leave now.

Don't take this the wrong way,

but I can tell by looking at you,

you can't afford a piece like this.

[CHUCKLES]

You'd be surprised by my resources.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

What's in the bag?

- [SUPPRESSED g*nsh*t]
- [SHOUTS]

[GRUNTS]

- [SUPPRESSED g*nshots]
- No!

[SUPPRESSED g*nshots, GLASS SHATTERING]

- [SUPPRESSED g*nsh*t]
- [SHOUTS]

[GRUNTS]

[PANTING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

I'm sorry. You're right.

Goliath wanted you to have the egg.

It's why you were sent for.

Goliath knew it needed an
alien to guide and protect it.

An alien with emotions,

like you.

Who was he?

He was a man who stepped
out of the jungle

that I fell in love with.

Goliath told me you would
come when the time is right.

I know now why he said
it was very important

for you to have the egg.

Goliath warned me there
would be people coming for it.

Promise you will take care of my baby.

I promise.

Harry, she's gone.

They want the egg. They won't stop.

Go out the back.

Okay.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Ooh!

Hey!

- [SUPPRESSED g*nshots]
- [GRUNTS]

Who the hell are these guys?

[SIGHS] Max is just getting

to the point where I
can leave him home alone

without it being a child services issue.

Hmm.

Unless he gets into the matches.

I mean, if I can handle the drunks

that come through this place,

kid can't be that much worse.

You saying you actually
wanna have a kid?

First I'd have to find the right guy

to have his life ruined by me.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Ooh, anyone special in mind?

Do I have a victim in mind?

Dating me is kind of like
walking into a w*r zone.

Hey, I think you're a catch.

And if you wanted to,

I think you would be a great mom.

Come on.

Imagine if you were pregnant.

We could be pregnancy buddies.

We can get them matching

"This is what a feminist
looks like" onesies.

I mean, you'd have to be
willing to give up the freedom

to do whatever you
want whenever you want.

I mean, you could just
jet off to Paris right now.

But I won't.

I'll just jet home to my
nail polish collection.

I have a lot of nail polish.

At least your baby won't make
you high when you sniff it.

Take it easy.

You know, it's...

It's not like I know for
sure that I'm pregnant.

Well, let's find out.

Here at The , we cater to
every stage of a relationship.

Condoms, pregnancy
tests, paternity tests,

plus a divorce lawyer who
starts his weekend bender

on Thursday afternoon.

[METALLIC BANG] Mm.

Thank God these are still in stock.

Judy goes through them like
Tic Tacs that you piss on.

I don't know.

I'm not sure I'm ready
for the answer yet.

Not feelin' as brave as you.

You didn't see me run away

from the leg press at the gym today.

So you skipped one machine.
It was your first day back.

When you're ready, it'll be there.

Keep it on you.

When you're ready, it'll be there.

[MELLOW ROCK MUSIC]

Why do we have to ride on
this train for two days?

What if someone ties
a lady to the tracks?

If they tie her lengthwise,

it could derail us.

It could.

But it won't, because this
isn't a silent movie, Harry.

And we didn't have a choice.

Pretty sure TSA won't let you on a plane

with something like that in a bag.

Do you even know if
and when it will hatch?

No.

On my planet, we mate
with a genetic partner.

The partner who carries the offspring

incubates hundreds of eggs.

This is just one egg.

One of my kind...

mating with a human partner.

I do not know what this will look like.

I do not know when it will come.

It could be hatching in a year.

It could be hatching right now.

Or... now.

Or now.

Fantastic.

What are we supposed to do now?

Goliath wanted me to have this egg.

He knew what would happen
if he became impregnated.

Goliath d*ed so I could have this baby.

I'm gonna go get a tea.

Do you want anything?

No.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Ice cream sandwich!

I went to New York to find an alien

even a little like me.

Now when I look at this egg,

I think I have found
something different,

a baby contaminated with human emotion,

part alien and part human.

It is not a little like me.

It is just like me.

What's going on, Mike?

You haven't turned the
page since you came in.

I... [CLEARS THROAT]

I got a bunch of these books

from Abigail Hodges, and...

thought they'd help me
take my mind off some stuff,

but it's not working so well.

Something you wanna talk about?

Share with a fellow
soldier what's on your mind?

Oh, I kind of feel stuck lately.

You know, like I'm in
the middle of something,

but I'm not sure which
way is the right way to go.

Hmm.

Look, between you and me...

I think I made a mistake.

I think I might've put the
wrong person behind bars.

Last time I made a big mistake
like that was back in D.C.,

and my partner, he didn't
go home that day.

Tough break.

Yeah.

If I had my sage, I'd smudge you.

Mm.

Free pie is a close second.

- Psh, I'll take it.
- [CHUCKLES]

I was doing guard duty in Vietnam.

Dreamin' about the burgers
we'd order back home.

- Tellin' dirty jokes.
- [LAUGHS]

Pretendin' we weren't scared shitless.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

It was an ambush.

My buddy hit the floor.

I just stood there like an idiot

till he bled out.

Jesus, Dan.

Medic told me it wasn't my fault.

Called it a... sucking chest wound.

But I couldn't shake the guilt.

And I ran from that mistake for years.

Almost d*ed from it.

I'm sorry.

I mean, how do you even
survive something like that?

It's not about the surviving.

Any soldier who's still
with us is surviving.

A soldier has to prevail.

Learned to honor Joe.

[CHUCKLES] Now he's with me every day.

If you wanna honor your partner,

be the best cop you can be.

Put the right person behind bars.

Deputy. Hey.

I've been waiting out front
for the last ten minutes.

You forget I was picking you up?

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I've been tied up.

Just, like, police stuff.

Pullin' UFOs over for speeding again?

I'm sorry.

I'm just feeling a little stupid.

I posted that UFO video,
and people think it's fake.

Hey, the only thing stupid is believing

what someone on the internet thinks.

Ignore them.

It's not just one person.

It's most of them, and
someone used a filter

to change the UFO into a doughnut.

They don't even know I'm a cop.

That looks pretty realistic.

Now I'm hungry.

Let's stop and get one on the way home.

[CELL PHONE DINGS AND BUZZES]

Sorry.

I need ten more minutes.

- Okay.
- Okay.

I changed my mind. I want tea...

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

You should've cleaned up after yourself.

Now, you're gonna give me that egg,

and you're gonna tell
me where it came from.

[GRUNTING]

Ow.

[GRUNTS]

You.

What the... How did that window break?

I do not know.

It is a very cheap train.
Everything breaks.

Oh, my God.

What... What happened to your face?

I may have k*lled the bad woman.

It's okay. I threw her out the window.

She's gone.

Did you get my ice cream sandwich?

Sir, we've been through
this room a thousand times.

Do you really think we've
been missing something?

Yeah, well, before,
we were trying to get

in the k*ller's head.

Maybe it's time we
try to get into Sam's.

Okay, so I'm a small-town doctor, right?

Nice guy. Whole town loves me.

So why would somebody want me dead?

Medical malpractice? I don't think so.

I'm too damn good at what I do.

Did I witness something?

Did I know something that
made somebody wanna k*ll me?

I was smart.

If I knew something
important and dangerous,

I might've written it down.

Yeah, but where?

[SIGHS]

Wait.

Sam loved these books.

Sir?

The sex-crazed
detective in these books,

when he thought somebody was after him,

he would take his case
notes, and he would put them

in the back of paintings in his office.

Come on.

♪ The four winds blow ♪

sh*t.

♪ Of my father's soul ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, here and gone ♪

[SIGHS]

You know what? Maybe
it's just a dumb book.

Even if he hid something here,

it would probably be gone by now.

I mean, we've had three doctors since.

Any one of them could've
changed these paintings.

Not that one.

Not this one.

♪ Here and gone ♪

- Sheriff.
- [LAUGHS]

- _
- Holy sh*t.

[CHUCKLES]

[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Patience must be nearer to
my planet than New York.

When I am here, I feel closer to home.

You gonna tell me what's goin' on?

You haven't talked this whole ride.

I don't like it when you're quiet.

Makes me nervous.

[SIGHS] The alien we went to see

was dead.

But it gave birth to an egg,

and now it's in Harry's bag.

I liked it more when you were quiet.

Me too.

Congratulations!

I heard you adopted a baby.

Do not worry. It has not hatched yet.

If it did, you would know.

It would probably spit acid.

- [CAR DOOR SLAMS]
- [SIGHS]

It'll be a relief that we
put that egg somewhere safe.

Finally a use for that
stupid bunker of yours.

I built that stupid
bunker to save your life.

- Uh-huh.
- So that everyone in the world

would die but me and you.

Thanks for including me.

ALL: Surprise!

Ah!

Happy birthday, Dr. Vanderspeigle.

Glad to have you back in Patience.

Speech!

Get out of my house!

[LAUGHTER]

[EGG CRACKS]