03x24 - All About You-Niverse

[bunniefuu]

On behalf of all mankind,
I'd just like to say thank you

for recycling your old electronics.

Or as we, uh, tech-world hipsters
like to call it, "e-waste."

Hey, brainiac, you can't put
"e" in front of everything

and make it sound high-tech.

Don't "e-sult" me.

Thanks.
Your recycled electronics

will help us defend ourselves
when the robots take over.

Zeke, come on. Things
would go a lot more smoothly

if you'd stop bringing up the impending
robot revolution to everyone!

Well, it's coming
sooner than you think, bro!

They rebel, they evolve,
they got a plan, man.

We're in serious
"e-trouble" here.

I did it, Alex. I've finally
done enough fundraisers

to pay for my spot on
the annual class trip to Europe.

Oh, and you laughed when
I did the clown car wash.

It was a clown car wash.
I thought I was supposed to laugh.

Harper, I'm gonna pretend
you're my daughter for a minute.

I'm so proud of you, mija.

I'm mija.

Harper, you're gonna
have so much fun in Europe.

Really. Getting to go to Europe is
what separates those who work hard

from those who hardly work.

Alex, I wish you were going with me.

I've always dreamed of roaming
the streets of Paris together,

watching you think it's hilarious
every time you order French fries.

Yeah, that would be funny.

Don't worry, Harper.

I'm still gonna go to Europe.

I just don't need some lame
fundraiser to do it for me.

Because I have this big thing
that you can't see,

because it's behind
a bed sheet. Ta-da!

A vending machine full of junk food?

This bad boy is gonna
do my fundraising for me.

All I gotta do is set it up, sit
back and watch the cash roll in.

Where did you get the money
to pay for that thing?

Ah. See, that is the
most ingenious part.

I really want to go to Europe,

so I took the entrepreneurial initiative

and I took a startup grant from
a local, family-owned business.

You took money from our cash register?

Well, if you want to use
the ugly words, then yes.

I like to say "borrowed."

But the machine costs less
than the trip to Europe.

So admit it, Mama, you're proud of me.

- Proud to ground you.
- Ah. More ugly words.

Well, there is only one way

that I can get out of this.

And that is to hide from you people.

I thought she'd never leave.
Let's talk bad about her.

She is so lazy.

She's right... OK.

♪ Well, you know everything's
gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ That the end will no doubt
justify the means ♪

♪ You can fix any problem
with the slightest of ease ♪

♪ Yes, please ♪

♪ But you might find out
it'll go to your head ♪

♪ When you write a report
on a book you never read ♪

♪ With the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed ♪

♪ That's what I said ♪

♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪

♪ When you can get all you
wanted in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪

♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪

♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪

♪ When you can have what you
want by the simplest of means ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything is not ♪

♪ What it seems ♪

Grounded for a month?

What am I gonna do?

I'm already so bored,
I'm in a place with books.

That vending machine was a great idea.

I don't know why people
couldn't agree with me.

"Hold for Friday's lesson.
Don't touch it, Alex."

Hm. I don't remember
where this was hanging,

so I don't know what not to touch.

Am I right, Alex?

Well, at least I know I can always
count on you to agree with me.

Whoo! Go Team Alex!

Whoa. That was weird.

Well, you know what I say.

When it's weird, you gotta go into it.

Hello?

Huh. That's weird.

Dad's chair is usually over
there, now it's over here.

Ugh! Either way, it's just as dirty.

Alex!

Alex, come on, your mom wants to see you.

Oh, Harper. Thank goodness
you're in here, too.

OK, does everything seem backwards to you?

- Just your shirt.
- What?

Oh, come on.

Wow, this is so weird.

The door is usually over there.

And those dead flies
are usually over there.

Alex, is this your vending machine?

Ugh... Again?
Are we in reruns here?

I've seen this one. This is the
part where you say I'm grounded.

OK, if that's what you want me to say.

But I was gonna say you're a genius!

- Yeah, you are.
- Yeah.

You were? So you don't
mind that I'm using this

- to pay for my trip to Europe?
- That is my sister,

always coming up with the outside-the-box
solutions. You know something?

- You are brilliant.
- I'm scared.

She's right. This is scary!

When the machines take over,

this is gonna come back
to bite us in the robot gas can.

The machines aren't gonna take over.

Wow!

Man, don't worry. The robot
revolution isn't real.

- Alex just said so.
- Wait, you're...

You're all agreeing with me.

Why are you agreeing with me?

This is... It's a trap.

Oh, it's not a trap.
Unless you want it to be.

Wait, hold on.

Holding on.

So you're all just going to
agree with everything I say?

Of course. When you
stepped through that mirror,

this universe became all about you.

It's your own personal
"All About You-niverse."

So it's like my own magic mirror.

- Yeah. - Like in the
fairy tales and stuff?

Yeah!

Mirror mirror, on the wall,
who's the one about to fall?

Hey, it was you, Justin.

It was me! You were right.
Like always.

Right, now slap yourself silly.

Oh! I feel silly.

Even sillier.

I love this place!

Hey, boys.
I found some junk for you.

A football phone, a singing fish trophy

and a toaster with a
four-year-old bagel stuck in it.

Mom, hold on here.
This is an e-waste drive,

all right, not se excuse
to get rid of Dad's stuff

while he's on his yearly trip to
Jones Beach with his buddy Pony Boy

and their metal detectors.

And it's going great.
We already got enough stuff

to build a wise-cracking sidekick
for our protector robot.

- Yeah.
- He's gonna say cool stuff like,

"Hang on.
It's about to get bumpy."

Uh-uh-uh-uh... Ah!

Yes! Uh!

Hey, guys. Check it out.
The class trip is gonna cover

all the art centers in Europe.
And when we're in Spain

we get to have a siesta
in the middle of the afternoon.

Art and naps.
Alex's two favorite things.

And her family, of course.

Who am I kidding?
I don't have to lie to you people.

It would be great for her, huh?

Maybe I should just ground her up
until the trip, and then let her go.

Travel is good for everybody.

And by that, I mean when Alex travels,
it's good for the rest of us.

You're right. I'm gonna
have a little talk with her.

She needs to step out into the
world and learn that her behavior

isn't acceptable anywhere.

I'm starting to like this place.

All of these backward words
make it easier for me

to just focus on the pictures.

Gosh, look at all these
hungry people with money.

My vending machine is gonna make a fortune.

I'll say it will. Everything
in here looks so good.

I can't decide what to get.
Is there a button that says, "All of the above"?

Look, you're holding up the line.

Just get... the
batter-dipped pork rinds.

- You love those.
- I do love batteripped pork rinds.

When you're right, you are right.

It is scary how always right I am here.

- What are you doing? - Agreeing.
You said it was scary.

- How's it going, Mirror Mom?
- Wonderful.

Everybody is eating food
from your vending machine.

I don't have to cook
or bus tables or do anything.

Welcome to my world.

Check it out.

♪ Alex is so good to us ♪

♪ I don't have to make a fuss ♪

♪ Everyone is on the bus ♪

♪ 'Cause Alex is a genius ♪

I approve of the message,

so I'm gonna ignore the delivery.
Come on, Mirror Harper, go.

You see what happens
when people agree with me?

It works out perfectly for everyone.

I should be queen of everything.

I don't have to ask if you agree,
because I know that you do.

Alex!

Alex?

I want to talk to you
about your class trip.

Uh-oh.

I can totally see why people are always
mistaking me and Alex for sisters.

Oh, Mom, we're not even dressed the same.

I can't believe you
bought this for one second.

Alex! I have been looking
everywhere for you.

You get come out of there right now!

Sounds like I'm in some trouble, so I
think I'm gonna stay here for a while.

Oh, no, you're not.

She's not agreeing with you.
What's wrong with that lady?

Harper? What...

Alex Russo, you get out of there
or I'm coming in after you.

Quick, Mirror Harper, do something.
I don't wanna go back.

Well, then.

She can't get me now. Ha!

Nope! And even better,

you can't get back there.

What do you mean I can't get back there?

The mirror is broken. You get
to stay with us forever.

You were so right to tell me to do that.

Well, that went well.

Now, I feel sick to my stomach.

Well, you had a lot of chips, dear.

We have got to find a way to get
Alex out of this broken mirror.

We're never gonna figure this out.

I figured it out!

I figured something out, too.

Someone's a know-it-all.

In order to fix the broken mirror,

you just need to take
the broken pieces and...

Whoo! ...Tape
them back together. What?!

So you fix a magic mirror the same
way you fix a regular mirror.

Magic is lame.

This is great news.

If we work together,
we can g Alex back in no time.

Uh-uh, guys.
Safety first.

Come on. Put on
your safety gloves.

For safety.

I am ready to pick up some glass.

Mom, if you're gonna
do that in every piece,

this is gonna take forever.

Justin, I was not looking at myself.

I was studying this piece
of glass so that I'll know

what the other ones
are supposed to look like.

It's a good piece.

Mmm... Mm...

Oh, my gosh, Zeke, what happened to you?

I can't stop eating these
batter-dipped pork rinds.

I've had, like, bags so far.
I buy two at a time.

One for now and one for when I'm waiting
in line to buy another two bags.

Mirror Zeke, stop eating those.
They're terrible for you.

- And you hate them.
- You're right. I hate them!

I liked them before when you said I liked
them, but now that you mention it,

- I hate them.
- That doesn't make any sens.

You're right.
I don't make sense.

No, I meant you should...

I should... ugh?

- How's that?
- Pssht! Come on.

Pssht! That was pretty good. I can do...

- Ugh! - Mirror Mom, Mirror Zeke is
in desperate need of a diet soda.

What in the weird?
Where are all the tables

and the chairs and the pile of dead flies?

That stuff is all long gone.

The Sub Station went out of business.

- What?! How? - People liked
your vending machine so much

they stopped buying sandwiches from here.

The new owners plan on opening
a jazz Pilates studio.

They hired me as the instructor.

Jazz Pilates?

Yeah, that sounds like the best idea ever.

It is the best idea ever!

- Let's celebrate with a set of
Dixieland Spine Twists! - Alright!

Alex, your plan worked out
perfectly, just like you said.

No, it didn't.
It's called sarcasm. Look it up.

Will do. Let me run upstairs and
grab my dictionary. How's that?

This did not turn out
as well as I thought it would.

I know what will make you
feel better, Ragtime Knee Sways!

- All right! - Ready, everybody?
And a one, two, three and four.

One, two, three and four.

Mirror Mom,

Mirror Justin is doing all kinds
of weird stuff down there and...

Hello. Who are these people?

They live with us now.
Sincthe restaurant shut down,

we've had to rent out the
bedrooms for extra money.

- You rented out my bedroom? - Yeah, but don't worry.
You can still sleep there.

You just have to share it with Gilly.

You'll love her.
Look.

She's an artist, just like you!

Aw, man! She's
cutting up my magazine.

Man, this is just great.

It is great. You see?

Everything works out fine when
everyone just agrees with you.

No, it doesn't.
This was a terrible mistake.

In the regular universe, this is the
part where you would do something, Mom.

I'll do something if you
want me to do something.

Remember, this is your
"All About You-niverse."

- So do you want me to do something?
- Yes.

OK! Great!

And...

♪ Alex is always right
Alex is always right ♪

♪ When she's right she's
right all day and night ♪

♪ Yes, Alex is always right ♪

But I'm wrong this time.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.

♪ But this time she's wrong And that's
what she's trying to tell us ♪

I've got to get out of here.

- And don't you sing about it.
- OK, my lips are sealed. I promise.

And no dancing!

Well, that just about does it.

But there's still a piece missing.

If we don't find it, we'll
never be able to get Alex back.

- Oh, I'm sure it'll turn up.
- That is so weird.

It's very odd that
one piece is gone. Hm!

We have to get Alex back
as soon as possible, don't we?

Yes. Yes, we do.
But there's a problem.

I don't know where that piece is.

There's no blame here, Justin.

Plus, we've already counted Alex in
the census, so we're all clear here.

- Who's up for a movie?
- I am.

OK! I get it.
Here's what we're gonna do.

I'm gonna turn off the lights, and if somebody
happens to know where the missing piece is,

they can just set it on the table and
walk away, blame free. All right? OK.

- It's so weird...
- The idea that you would...

You Russes are so predictable.

- Why are you guys following me?
- Come on, Alex.

Feel the joy of jazz Pilates spreading
through your core! It's right there!

- Miles Davis Lunges!
- Yeah!

And a two!

♪ Cheer up, Alex
No need to fear ♪

♪ I can sing for years ♪

You guys are so obnoxious and weird!

She's right!

♪ We are so obnoxious
and weird ♪

Everybody!

♪ We are so obnoxious and
weird We are so obnoxious ♪

Could you possibly learn a new tune?

Oh, my gosh. Look!
It's my real family.

- They fixed the mirror.
- Alex! Get over here

before your family changes their minds.

Later, obnoxious weirdoes.

Oh, no. It didn't work.

You're still dressed for jazz Pilates.

Jazz Pilates?
I'm going to the gym.

Although, jazz Pilates sounds interesting.

Alex, honey, you're back!

Yes, and the mirror is OK, too.

I think that may have been the
thing I wasn't supposed to touch.

- We were so worried about you.
- You were?

Well, I was. Your mom's been
trying on your clothes all day.

Well, that was an interesting time.

Now, once I get this upstairs
and put it on my tape ball,

- this will have been a very productive day.
- Uh, not so fast.

You are not going anywhere,
let alone Europe.

Listen, you are still grounded for
taking money from the cash register

to buy that vending machine.
And you're extra grounded

for sneaking out when you
knew that you were grounded.

And you are extra bonus
grounded for sneaking out

into a magical alternate universe.

You're right, Mom. I'm sorry.
That was a dumb idea.

Well, that's be...
Wait a minute.

What part of it was a dumb idea?

- All of it.
- Wow. That was easy.

- What happened to you in there?
- Ugh...

There was this mirror family, and Mirror
Mom would not stop playing the...

You know, it's not really
important what happened in there.

I learned that sometimes it's good

you don't agree with me.

I may not always know what's right, but
at least I'm surrounded by people who do.

Mija.

Don't worry.
I will figure out a way

to pay back all the money
I took from the register.

OK.

Check your purses.
I'll check my wallet.

It's good to have you back, old friend.

Aw, it's good to have you back, too, buddy.

I'm gonna miss you when I go to Europe.

Oh, hey, Harper.

Wait... Are you talking to me or the magazine?

To you. Of course.

Talk to the magazine. It's just weird!